Qualified yet single

 Well MGTOW101, actually Miggy101 seems to be back though I don’t know the true status of this channel but you can officially follow Miggy at Men101 on YouTube.

Today I wanted to share this video akin to another video shared here which actually involved single women still look for Mr. Right. They are as accomplished as the men you see above making good money with education credentials and what not,  however, they can’t seem to connect with Mr. Right. Alas I wish I can show you that video, it’s since been taken down along with MGTOW101.

The video you see comes from a documentary about a group of men from different American cities who have dropped out of the dating scene. I’ve yet to see this documentary and am curious about it now. Men who are “qualified” to be in a relationship and yet they remain single why?

From what can be gleaned in the above clip many of them are focused on themselves. Other may well have experienced hurt at the hands of a woman at some point in the past. Others have reached a point in their lives where they’ve become successful that they’ve been forced to put up their shields. They don’t want to be in relationships with just anyone so that forces them to be more cautious. One man outright states that he wants a woman to be like his perfect mother.

Just as the women above who are successful who aren’t able to connect with a good man. These men are sort of in the same boat. These men are “qualified” however that’s defined to be in a relationship. So the question could come up is whether or not these men have an inability to really connect with the right woman. I’ll bet money someone out there have started to determine this in spite of some things in their life going right. They’re successful and yet they’re alone….

If you want to know about yours truly, I’ve established once that I’ve been doing my own things since before MGTOW was a thing. At this point I feel as if I’m in a better space now than I had been once I graduated from college ten years ago. There was a period where I had been stagnating, but feel as if I can truly develop jobwise and hopefully it won’t stop there.

Perhaps I missed the point where I’ll meet the right woman, however, I think I can get to the point where I’ll be ready for her. Meanwhile I want to continue to focus on being a better man which is what one of those men stated in the video above. And hopefully in a few years I can be a hot-shot corporate executive making good money.

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Apocryphal

For the context of this post apocryphal means that I’m not certain of certain events. I just connect them to later events and they seem to make sense, however, I can’t really be certain of who were involved in the earlier events. The Merriam Webster definition involves authenticity, but just remember that this blog is based on real events.

Remember Candice? Just about two years ago, I wrote an apocryphal story about a potential first time meeting with her at work at The Show. It’s possible I worked with her one night on the floor and made an impression. It makes sense because otherwise she wouldn’t have in my words come out so aggressively to me later on. Whatever happened that night I just put out of sight and out of mind not that much later.

This post we’re going to touch about /goofball aka Ruthless Roger. Once people in my old dept at The Hole realized that Rog was there for about the first two weeks when the store first opened as support staff, people would ask me if I remember him. Unfortunately just like whatever happened with Candice I can’t say that I did. If I didn’t work directly with any support staff during the opening weeks or otherwise recognize them as part of my permanent team my memories are short on them.

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My only experience I remember of the person I think was Rog was in our dept one night as it was time to close and it was time to clean a meat slicer. This person made eye contact with me somehow and then just came out and asked “Is that unplugged?” in his nerdy baritone. I hadn’t unplugged it, but I wondered if he was serious and may have laughed. His face grew more stern, and I knew what that mean – UNPLUG IT! Which is what I eventually did as it was my goal to get out of there for the night.

I don’t remember for sure if it was Rog, however, others remember him from that particular period. Chuck knows him for trying to help him put out hot food and noted his huge ego in helping him as if he’s the smartest most capable man in the room. Chuck made sure to note that in his haste to get food out during a rush decided to neglect even to temp the food, declaring in a huff “It’s FINE!”

That’s a problem. If you fail to temp the items and someone gets sick and the dept can’t verify that the food had been cooked at proper temp we’re liable. So that man may have opened us up to some issues by his actions. Irony is once Rog himself arrived on the scene two people lost their jobs over food temps, one likely had the experience to know by sight (which is risky) to what temp the food was reheated. Another case was out of sheer laziness and it sounded like they only just wrote temps down, and who knows how anyone got wise to it.

Either way the unanswered questions, I didn’t really remember /goofball, but who knows if he did me. Who knows if he really held a grudge. Perhaps he remembered as time went on although I just tend to think he was only about the rule book, he seemed to live for that. Besides it’s not like he knew anything else about the job he was set up to fail in.

Well as I’ve always said no real evidence, yeah I can say sometimes he gave the body language like avoiding eye contact. Perhaps he came off as awkward towards some associates in our dept. But then in the grand scheme of things it may be all ado about nothing.

And that does it for today’s apocryphal story.

Interview time!

Around this time last year, I started applying for jobs at Fresh Foods once I learned /goofball was no longer the Dept. Mgr. at The Hole. And one of the first callbacks from my applications was from The Hole. I had some people looking out for me, however, it wasn’t meant to be. Perhaps I was bound to blow it or perhaps the store mgr who was present when his boss $h!tcanned me now realized I hadn’t left a good impression.

Well, I’m elsewhere now and sometimes think this wasn’t a bad thing. Perhaps I’d have stirred up the drama many of my colleagues there would really prefer to forget as time beats on. Also would I have been in the right state of mind back then?

Perhaps to not return right away as great of a story as it could’ve been in the long run was for the best. Perhaps I need to work out what happened the year before for myself. And no more digging for that knockout punch that helped ease Ruthless Roger out of his cushy position that he seemed eager to seek out and then be set up to fail.

Feeling No Love

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Before I get on with this thought, I’m eager to put to rest the storyline with regards to “Ruthless Roger” – the mgr of my dept at “Fresh Foods” who ushered me into store mgmt offices to let me go. He walked out the office when the axe fell on me admittedly unexpectedly because I though a delay slip from the transit authority was enough for that final tardy to be excused. Anyway having heard three different stories from more former colleagues I learned that he’s no longer there – he was either demoted, quit, or quietly moved to a lesser position at another store. Regardless knowledge of his departure made it easier for me to start applying at my old store once again.

Thus I had an interview to return to the store. While granted I wouldn’t yet have all the bells & whistles I had before the guillotine…

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Savings

I have never really gave a sequence of events for the night that Anthony the hustler who after working at The Show for a short time was quickly willing to ask me for money. It wasn’t long (perhaps a week, my memory isn’t that clear anymore) after I offered him a ride home on the south side and inquiring about my life rather rudely. Little did I know the door I had opened.

Not long after this we were waiting for the train one evening and – well he almost directed me – we connected on facebook and he got my cell phone number. In my mind why not, I might need a work related favor from him, however, little did I know he was going to be quick to ask an even bigger favor than I had expected from him.

One night during the week, I had a shift that started at 6 PM or so and my mother allowed me to drive her car that evening. At some point before leaving home I saw on my phone (a Blackberry that was out of style as soon as I had bought it) that he had called. What does he want I thought at the time and chose to ignore it because he can’t want something so soon after we just got connected.

So I drive to work, and in those days I carried a tote bag with me for my uniform and work hat. Usually I take this into the building with me into our locker room and then change into my full uniform before going on duty for the night. At some point Anthony finds me doing my rounds on the floor. He may have asked me about his phone call, however, he fell into his pitch about coming up short and needing a few dollars until payday – hence one part of the reason for the title of this post. Which threw me off badly alas my mind wasn’t ready to just say no to a guy who just asked for money after I had just met him….

So anyway this bothered me all night long until I ran into Henry who was also working that night. I was led to believe The Hustler was expecting a ride home in addition to whatever extra cash I had on hand that night. I told Henry the story and he suggested I leave him there. So thus I hatched my plan.

I made sure when I made it to my unpaid 30 min break that I got my things out of my locker and put it in the car. It was in preparation for my quick getaway from The Hustler who had marked me to be used rather quickly (and I wonder if it was based on that weird conversation we had on the ride to his place). It probably didn’t even take 10-15 mins to get my belongings.

So as it was close to quitting time, Anthony starts coming around and following me. Believe me I was nervous as hell I was uncomfortable doing something so impolite, but what Anthony did was also impolite and it was a problem for me at that point. He was expecting a ride home and some cash. I don’t remember how I got away from him, perhaps mgmt called him away or something. Thus as soon as possible I clocked off for the night, ran to the car, and drove off! I had successfully ditched Anthony….

Hence the other main reason for the title of this post. 😛

He did call me later that night and when he called my name I immediately deleted his voicemail message. He never spoke of what happened that night again, and Henry joked later that Anthony was upset when I left because he had wanted to get a hot dog with the borrowed cash. The only response offered for that evening was Anthony’s later attempt to connect again asking “Why don’t you speak to me?” So if that was a sign of anything because I never told him to buzz off after that it wasn’t a signal of deterrence and he was going to keep coming around.

And also I knew enough of his background to find his quick request for money strange. He had left his job as a mgr at a dollar store to take on a minimum wage job (of eight and one quarter) at a movie theater. He also told me that he was once a hot shot mgr at a local grocery chain from which he retired at 40 (seriously?). For a man in his 50s, why is he going around looking for someone to mooch money off of when he should be in a far better position than he was then or even is now.

Recently

Now that we take a look at the modern day.

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My dept. mgr. is helping another store that just opened as support staff. So he’s got about one more week before he returns. I wanted to visit that store when it opened as it’s not too far from where I live. In fact if I drive I go right past this store, unfortunately I haven’t quite made it yet. It looks really nice once you see all the shelves, coolers and what not that’s been installed.

Also the dept has been undergoing some changes not important changes. Of course our dept is getting a new associate buyer – the position I interviewed for an didn’t get. One of our stewards is going to another store soon and that means we got some positions opening  up. Of course since we’re talking about retail, people come and go as in one story I wanted to tell you about.

It seems since I arrived on the scene at my current assignment there was some volatility with the steward position – they help keep the dept clean and organized especially with dirty dishes. We had quite a few quit including one whom I first started who seemed very bashful about his job. The story I heard was he got frustrated with how the scullery was organized and he just quit.

Either way some of the stewards (or stewardesses) have come and gone since I arrived on the scene. And the latest story I wanted to tell you involved one whom mgmt let go. It seemed as if he was a problem as from one of the stewards he seemed to like to use the race card, tended to argue with everyone, and seemed to like to take liberties that inconveniences his partner in the scullery.

It seemed like he couldn’t really get along with anyone, but I attribute it to his youth. He was very young when he started in his position and learned later he has spent time in a homeless shelter. So once I found that out I began to feel bad for him, however, you can’t get yourself out of that situation if you continue to be belligerent towards the people you work with. It’s a hard lesson I had to learn myself.

Once I saw a steward position open up on the company’s social network, I decided based on what I know that soon he won’t be with us. Finally from our assistant mgrs I heard about a new steward coming in for new hire paperwork. This meant that dude’s days with us are numbers. And then he got let go and the new guy got scheduled and the beat goes on…

As for my next opportunity, well not ready. However, I’m always looking both inside of “Fresh Foods” and outside of the company. Time will tell, perhaps I can still look into being a theater mgr.

Part of the world

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Last year I did a post called MGTOW which stands for men going their own way. I had begun to follow some of the MGTOW youtube channel although my favorite one got taken down ultimately. It opened my eyes to the idea at least that a man should go his own way, become a better man, and that he doesn’t need a woman to do so.

Now this is a male virgin blog and I suppose if society has their way I should be shunned or pitied to have never made a woman’s acquaintance before in life. Everything I do so far in my life is empty without either having had sex at a bare minimum or having a married with children at any point in my life. Its the one thing that many have used to define me especially if I wind up making an ignorant comment about women, sex or relationships.

I’ve had people decide it was OK to lecture me about how I need to go out and become part of the world. For example join a dating website so that I could get laid next week or I need to hurry up get out there into the dating world before I turn 40 or the women will laugh at me. Just trying to cause a sense of urgency on my part to connect with a member of the opposite sex before “its too late”. And I find myself wondering how empty is his life where he feels as if he needs to say anything about it?

Let’s be honest about something as far as being part of the world for some it’s defined by having companionship as a bare minimum. To be fair, I haven’t really been part of the world. I missed out on that time in my youth where I should’ve met that woman. I spent a number of years in college – longer than I should’ve honestly – and I never really involved myself in social events. While I might have desired some of the women I met at school outside of social events or on facebook I feel as if I had more drama going on in without involving myself in relationships. I had to pay for school, avoid any academic issues, and then of course finally graduate.

In order to meet that special someone I have to go out into the world and interact. I often failed to do that and often preferred to keep to myself. Of course there were times trouble came to me, and often without me knowing how to handle it. It caused me further keep to myself and as a result those women who would’ve been interested in me found other men to engage with. It also didn’t help that after a number of missteps it took me time to finally finish my undergrad.

Then I arrived at “The Show” and aside from a few social moments, I never allowed myself an opportunity to truly connect with the young women or older women that I had worked with. Though what I can say about that period was it was the first period I had found gainful employment and had a few more dollars in my pocket as a result. Still I felt at that point that I couldn’t afford to do the many things that will allow me to become part of the world.

Sometimes I do feel as if I’m behind in my life. While many are out dating and meeting people or they’re married and building their families, I’m still stuck in teenage mode. I still have to figure out things that should’ve been worked out years ago.

Think about this, I graduated from college later. Found a regular job and eventually a full-time job later. And any other accomplishments I will ultimately meet them later as well. Perhaps realizing my potential as a man (and more for myself as I’m beginning to recognize) will have to come later as well.

I’m behind because I’ve never been part of the world, time to find ways to become part of the world.

How many I have left?

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For over a year at least I’ve been writing about my former friend & coworker from The Show Anthony the hustler. I feel as if I have a few more posts in me with regards to him but it’s tedious to have to continue to basically say the same thing about him. Basically he begs for money and he wants me on his planet so he can keep begging and the tendency to express a rather foul side of his personality often with anger and lashing out.

A few times I’ve written on this blog that I didn’t think I’d hear from him anymore only to run into him at his job or an intermittent phone call every now and again or even a random Facebook comment on my page. All the same it isn’t worth it barring some unusual event to even mention that he’s contacted me.

So I’m hoping that the last few anecdotes that I’ll tell will be it for him on this blog. He’s a character that I would like to place in my rear view mirror. As I had realized he had a reason for why he wanted to connect and as for yours truly it was for a season because I allowed some things to go on for far too long.

I’ve said that I’m enforcing my rules of no engagement and true to form he’s bullheaded enough to press forward. I’m showing no inclination to really respond and yet he picks his time and dials my number. It just shows that he’s the type once he’s set on something he will keep going until he really has no reason to.

Like I said he has a history of this. Perhaps for me his paternalistic behavior insists that I must answer to him for whatever he requires. Now, I just have stay off his planet and try to run my life as I see fit. As I see it now, his life isn’t where he expected it to be and although he has his own children he’s looking to run someone else’s.

He really should look himself in the mirror.