Porn – NSFW

WARNING: This topic may not be safe for work (NSFW). In fact to underscore this point the pic below is definitely NSFW.

Menaja anal photo

I’ve been watching porn since I was 17. My brother had two tapes that he owned, and one time he rented two tapes of much more explicit material. Of course we’re talking about the late 90s where people at least outside of the tech world had just been learning about the internet.

When I started watching that, immediately I started imagining doing some of the things in porn to some of the girl at school. Of course that opportunity never arose back then. There were a few I had been interested in relationship wise at least, at least back then it was my mindset.  But I never made an approach to any girl who’d have been open. Also I realize not many of them were really interested in me that way or perhaps they weren’t on my “level”.

All the same my brother sparked unknowingly my own interest in porn. Eventually I started buying my own tapes and mostly featured ebony women such as Menaja as you see in pic above. I really wanted to see them do nasty and wild things as perhaps once I never imagined they did such things as anal or BDSM – which is what I like seeing now.

When it comes to sex while porn is my only frame of reference I got older and realize how phony it can be. I recognize that these are performers and they perform often whether over the course of a day or over the course of a week. If you get it so often, do you really get off as they seem to during a shoot?

At least with porn I get something that so far I haven’t gotten and it’s something that must change. Perhaps it’s time to deprive myself of such easy access to something that I’ve never tried. I can’t look for any imagery of a sexual nature and instead just seek a relationship with her.

Her is the idealized woman I would like and you know what it could be anyone. She’s out there however, I know it!

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4 thoughts on “Porn – NSFW

  1. As someone who’s older, been watching Porn religiously since the late 80s, and also struggled with women. No ok not a virgin, I’ve had about 15 partners in my 42 years, but my actual relationships have suffered and I’m still single/no kids… My advice to you is to get off the porn. I did that about six months ago and my life with women has been much better

    Liked by 1 person

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