the wrestling girl

Candy_GirlNOTE: the pic above isn’t actually of the wrestling girl, but would you have believed it if i had actually chose to say nothing to explain the above pic? 😛

i’ve alluded to her in an earlier post. one while we’ve worked together frequently and as of late we haven’t been. bummer because i grew comfortable with her, enough so that i’m fb friends with her now. i’ve alluded that it was my intention to ask her.

she’s called wrestling girl because she’s aware of my interest in wrestling and connect with me on that basis for the most part. other than that it was mostly work that we’d talk about. as a worker she’s real particular about how to do things which is fine. i’ve met much worse people like that.

i was somewhat disappointed that she appears to be with someone. who knows what their relationship has progressed to, but it’s often she and her man often pose together. sometimes there are pictures that shows plenty of kisses whether of each other on the lips or just on the cheek.

the wrestling girl piques my interest in that way. i dunno about a serious long term relationship not sure if that’s what i want with her. i definitely have something in mind with her, but at least for now if she’s involved i can relax.

like hugs she’s outside of my race and she’s rather slender with some height on her. seeing her pics on fb she was kind of chubby in the past although if i did have that comfort with her as i do now it wouldn’t have mattered at all.

my interaction with her mostly involves me saying something smart to her to basic things. like her saying bye or seeing that i went out of town recently. she laughs it off and says i’m a goofball, but let’s just say i like playing around with her like that. i also realize this is an easy way to turn her off.

you know what clicked in my head about her. one of the last few times we worked together we somehow was outside of the job together it was at night. she noticed i was out there with her and just stared and i was trying not to :lol:. we talked for a minute, but the way she was being somewhat playful it kind felt like a signal. now this could be a case of something in my head that has no realistic basis.

another thing i’ve considered since she’s friends with me on fb and let me know she noticed i was out of town to visit my school. it shows she pays attention to me in some respects of course me being me my response was to say that fb isn’t a person though. she shrugged it off, but perhaps she viewed that as me being me…

i did think about this although i can’t do it now. what if i bought her an item as a gift from the all-girls school down there where i paid a visit. i bought a t-shirt and water bottle perhaps she’d have appreciated a baseball cap. it would’ve been the most eccentric gift i can give her and could only wonder if those who are aware of this school or those who attended would just start wondering why she’s wearing such an article.

anyway just a thought lol

Eye contact

4c06aa3b60d5d7824673ba772a88b47e1eead789a2277faf54beb1ad251409dbYou know I have experience with this to know when this either evokes positive feelings or outright hostility. Both have happened to me although have I acted on it no.

Recently I went back to my college for my first vacation out of town since I’ve started my current job. Saw a handful of old friends there but this is a big event at my school so I probably wouldn’t be able to see everyone.

To be honest when I was in school I never enjoyed the best relations with women. Indeed whatever I did have with the opposite sex was mostly online with very few exceptions. Some young women may know me from that but many still prefer to meet men – whether friends or potential mates in real life. It took me some time to understand that, but that’s the fact.

Another time on this same campus but a previous year, I unexpectedly ran into another old friend. He was talking about eye contact. How one time on this occasion he was looking right at some young lady and their eyes locked. Then he noted that she showed this look on her face because she was with her boyfriend and they immediately broke eye contact.

I have my own story, though it may be how I usually end the story. I locked eyes with some young lady although not entirely intending to. I was walking by a sorority tent the young lady in question was talking to her soror and I walked by at this point. My shtick mostly is not eye contact but just looking at faces people watching. Eye contact depends it’s powerful but dangerous.

Basically as I walked by the tent I decided to look back because I still have a thing for women in a sorority. Although it’s no longer that serious as I’m not an undergrad anymore. Without planning to, for a brief moment me and one of these women made eye contact. I got her attention although when we seemed to have locked eyes it didn’t take long for me to break off contact.

Now I’ve over analyzed this in my head, this could’ve been where I would’ve showed my comfort in talking to her right there. I wasn’t really, it was also possible that she may have recognized me from somewhere, perhaps one of those many women I’ve attempted to speak online but she wasn’t interested.

To internalize this, the issue may well have been shyness. I have no problem making eye contact with women I do find attractive. At the same time, the onus is still on me to keep her interest and sadly I’m not a player in that game.

This college sporting event that I was just outside of for tailgate probably would’ve been the most perfect time to find as many women as possible to speak to. Unfortunately I have no running buddy soooo…..that could be both an advantage and a disadvantage. Alumni or young co-eds a game plan is necessary of course I’d have to find the right one.

Many seemed interested in my selfie stick some are getting their 15 secs on youtube at some point. All the same if I go to other events such as this, I can walk off with more women I can get the chance to know. That could be phone numbers, facebook, or an instagram.

You know what if I found that girl with whom I made eye contact. She may recognize me and get freaked out. It may also be possible she may have forgotten as that was such a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things.

No porn

no_xxxRecently I wrote about fasting from porn and I’ve decided to start that fast. This is probably going to last at least a week although I did find myself cheating.

Last night I logged on to the webcam site that is often the one I visit. Then realized it was time for my fast and quickly closed that browser out. It was past time to do something like this anyway and the time is now.

Not sure how long it took for me to finally decide this was the right thing to do. But now I’m doing it. That only means the two explicit pictures shown here on this blog are probably the only two I will see for at least a week.

Who knows though this fast may last longer. Still my hope is that this will allow me to seek far more from any women I’m interested in. Hopefully it was have little to do with being attracted to their bodies, but to whatever else they’d have to offer.

hugging

how-to-draw-people-hugging-from-behind-the-back

i’ve only written at length on two occasions about this girl i used to work with named hugs. it seems like a breakthrough to feel this great need to embrace this sweet young woman. it’s never me as the initiator let alone no woman is exactly breaking down the doors of the bastille to get that close to me.

that being said i can tell a story about various women hugging me. the first time it happened was int he 8th grade and a fellow classmate initiated the hug. and there are those who tend to be expressive and unfortunately my response to her rocking me from side to said was to complain about my back.

this young lady was an odd one. she was so darned cute but engaged in aggressive behavior with the boys such as groping them on their posterior and bulges as she had done to me. thing is about her was that this was the first time i grabbed some girl’s posterior but i only did it because she did it to me. it’s only fair i thought although i recognize that a girl may want to do it to you but may not want you to return the favor. especially important if she doesn’t like you and in which case why would she want to put her hands on you anyway.

other hugging involves family and in general i shy away from it. i have aunts who are into hugging and aren’t above forcing themselves on me to get a hug. they tend to look at me strange when i don’t hug them right. in some cases they may even try to hug me again because they weren’t feeling that last one.

i wrote about the cousin a while ago she’s not a terrible offender, but she was also not above forcing a hug herself. one time she was leaving the house and was outside of the front door and i was about to let it close and she opens it back up insisting on a hug. i didn’t want to but gave her one so she can keep going.

one time we took a daytrip to a nearby city in another state and we spent that day with our distant relatives. they were very touchy feely and more than i’d like to care for. on other times i’ve seen my distant relatives on knowing that i don’t really like hugging still insisted that i must hug her.

so to speak of my distant cousin, i still remember that one time on meeting them for the first time in their hometown. on leaving one insisted on planting a smile on my face and got right in my personal space to force a smile with her fingers. everyone laugh thinking i’d just do it to get her away from me, but i was like not funny not cool stop and it did eventually. i just met her and she felt free to do that and some other things that may cause me to not be very happy with them. that’s only my deal however.

so any now i say that i’ve used up all my hugs on a young woman i used to work with and was worth them. and i would dare say even though she had a boyfriend and know my own comfort level with her i’d want to date her. though my concern is knowing my own personality or history with women i’d be very concerned about screwing my time up with her. and i would feel very bad if she begins to develop a different personality because of her time with me.

btw, i’ve considered writing a different type of post for a while and  and perhaps it’s time to expand upon them. especially as they could relate for example to good ole Hugs. of course i could talk more about some of the women @ work.

Sexualized Saturdays: Captain America & Male Virginity

This article raises my eyebrows. What do you think? A superhero virgin and would it be a big event if he finally found the woman he wants to give it up to.

Lady Geek Girl and Friends

Sexism affects people of all genders, but it affects us all differently. Women, whether virgins or sexually active, tend to be demonized and ridiculed. But for men, virginity is the ultimate crime. Whether the guy just hasn’t had the opportunity for sex or has chosen to wait, it doesn’t matter. According to our society, men who have not had sex, particularly with a woman, are somehow lacking. So when a prominent male figure is revealed or even implied to be a virgin (for whatever reason), there tends to be something of an uproar. In our media, there is almost never a virgin male character, and when there is, they are either portrayed as having something wrong with them or almost their entire plotline is dedicated to them losing their virginity. For our pop culture to have a character who doesn’t follow these rules is rare and frankly revolutionary…

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