after starting this blog, i joined a web forum at http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/. the one reason i found this site because i began looking for answers without having to pay a therapist. not that i think anything is inherently wrong with me, but sometimes it pays to have to talk through whatever issues i may have. the issue now is well i want to lose my virginity before i turn 40 which is not that far away anymore.
that’s as much of an issue as me wanting to marry and have children. and somehow i’d have to get through the barrier of finding a suitable mate who is able to accept me for who i am. as much as i believe i have things going for me, it’s difficult still to find a woman who is interested in me. of course the bad thing is women are picky and have no problem picking apart what they don’t like about certain men.
i consider the story of candace that i wrote about a few months ago. i noted that i’m not entirely certain what my deal was other than her approach. i considered her aggressive as far as attempting to keep my attention, but i was for whatever reason cold or unresponsive for the most part. at some point in spite of her ways of letting me know what i was doing was mean she eventually left me alone.
was this a case of being love shy? a case where i was fearful of giving a girl a chance who clearly wanted one. of course, this could also be a case of i made a good call – if it could be called that – because if i got her or her me who knows what direction our potential affair would go. indeed i’d have been left in the cold anyway.
either way the thing is if the right girl got me to settle down and evaluate why i haven’t been able to go all the way with a woman i have always had a script in mind. if a woman wondered why it hadn’t happened for me and ideally all over me discussing this i could flat out say i just don’t know how. that would be true because basically i have no experience in even attracting the attention of a woman.
most of the time it just happened, but often it’s also a matter of keeping her attention. in my case these things just happen with no effort on my part to get her attention. consider candace, although something about me got her attention whatever it was.
either way the answer may not be important only to help me get to the point where i’m very comfortable with a woman so that we could have a relationship. in addition if that happens even before i finally am able to answer the why of my dilemma perhaps the question won’t matter.