lately on fb i’ve been talking to the various women who are friends with me. mainly women who went to college where i went to college and some of them i maintain some type of inconsistent contact – including janice.

one young lady strikes me as most interesting who we’ll call carina. our connection on fb was somewhat uneasy years ago, i compliment her based up a profile pic she sent me a message back asking if she knows me. i reply honestly sent her a friend request and we’ve been fb friends ever since.

she seems to have quite a list of accomplishments in addition to being an sga president she’s also a corporate manager. i used to really maintain some type of consistent contact through my favorite anonymous app honesty box. she found me out around the time it was being phased out and how it happened was through something as innocuous as asking if she’s with someone.

regardless at some point she found herself single when she announced to the world that she’s no longer engaged. at that point i sent a quick message saying i hope all is well and no response. her status indicated some drama, but then when engagements are broken there is drama.

there is evidence that she has a boyfriend now and may be serious all the sudden however she’s responding to my messages. we have a string of messages within a short time frame even if she’s busy with work and all that.

it leads to some questions, is she really serious with this beau? also is she just being nice and personable to a guy she only knows through the internet? and thanks to my knowledge of her recent relationship history am i walking into some drama?



dwelli feel like dwelling is an important part of my nature. mostly i might dwell on past situations (i.e. sh*tplace) or perhaps the women i’ve met and liked. in fact i’ve dwelled on work a lot here.

funny thing is i never really dwelled on what happened at the bank other than saying quick things such as tardies and mistakes. then again i didn’t have enough time to really dwell on those mistakes that were made. at the movie theater i had five years.

i could dwell on the women i have met so far during the past year. a precious few i have liked and unfortunately not courageous enough to pick my spot. i’ve also dwelled on the women of the past. perhaps something could’ve been done differently and i’d have more experience in relationships.

i could also dwell on interviews i’ve had. for example until i finally found another job and left my long time job at the theater i dwelled on an interview at another theater which would’ve seen me in a management role. after a promising interview it ultimately fell flat and as it turns out in the long run it was only a blessing in disguise.

often i dwell on some situations at work. candace is one situation although not as serious as others. it’s something i often discuss although vaguely and hopefully not often. it often involves people who’s only purpose was to stir something up for that moment with no real meaning. even better they probably have forgotten and i’m nothing more than a non-factor in their lives.

perhaps there isn’t much to change about me dwelling other than forcing myself to forget about what happened and why it happened. the main step is to consider the future as it looks much more brighter at this point.

BTW, i’ve written draft posts in the past about situations i’ve dwelled on. these ocurred years ago and many of the players have since moved on. when i think about them, talk about them, or in this case write about them i get upset all over again. bottom line those episodes are over with and done and again the players have moved on and probably acquired other targets as it were. hopefully such posts will never been seen here again.

where does this blog fit?

another identity crisis: what kind of blog is this supposed to be.

of course this is a virginity blog but could it fall under dating/relationships?

this could also fall under sex. i could spend a lot of time talking about sex. there are posts about porn here, however, how much can i talk about sex when i’m not getting any.

at times this is as much a life blog because i talk about work. not sure how much i’ll talk about family as so far i’ve talked about my dad and one of my cousins. i also talk about abstaining from sex and alcohol.

i may even talk about the hobbies i want to take up. perhaps one day i may take up improv. perhaps i’ll find something else to take up in addition to that. who knows.

either way, i’ve seen nothing more than a handful of male virgin blogs out there. the question is where does this genre of blogging fit in the grand scheme of the bloggosphere?

another milestone


everything has an anniversary here…

my two week notice at the theater. my birthday. and then of course my firing which just passed this month. in fact it occurred exactly two days before my birthday.

the interview for my current job in retail was the day after the firing. me and my current manager played phone tag which i attributed to my work hours at the bank until i finally just called him. got screened then got an interview for that saturday.

i set interview time hours after the shift i’d have been working at the bank on saturday. so i talked to him on a thursday and then got fired from the bank on a friday. which means my original plan got thrown out of the window, however, i had plenty of time to chill before the interview on saturday evening.

this interview was for a soon to open new store and they needed to fill some positions – see this is how i got the job at the cinema years ago. so basically i met with my soon to be new manager at the regional offices and it seemed to be after hours everything was closed and i was quite confused. i got off the elevator and then thought how the hell do i get into this place because no one was there.

what i had little idea about was the person with whom i spoke was on his way to the bathroom so i stopped him. so he said he’d check out some things and it turned out that well i needed to speak to him. so the interview went well enough and he said he would have me speak to another manager in the customer service department.

at that point i thought  a customer service position was a better fit for me. what i was being interviewed for involved food, not very keen on that but in the new year that’s where i was going. the other interviews with customer service and another department didn’t lead to a job offer. my current supervisor liked my attitude best and offered me a job on his team.

now if i may set up the situation at the time. i had left a job that was frustrating, then got fired from a job that was frustrating, interviewed for another job a day after my own firing, then in the new year found myself with a better job.

in looking for a job i was looking for growth, better pay and benefits. well growth is something i have to foster but at least i have better pay and benefits. oh yeah and i forget about paid vacations as well. 🙂

honesty box virgin invitation

youre_invited_wthis is something i conceived of as a protected post. this time it will be left public. one of those honesty box messages i wanted to share but kept coming up with other topics such as work. perhaps now is a good time to share this anonymous virgin message to some young woman years ago.

you said,
ok i’m a virgin lol

they said,
more power to you! save it til she’s worth it!

you said,
well i do wish she was you 😉

You know, I never seemed to be able to get a full-blown convo out of this young lady. However as a busy woman she gave me her cell number one time when i contacted her because she was in town. never “linked” with her sadly. this young lady is a cutie pie though and seemingly ambitious with her life. how could i ever connect with her? 😦

btw, in all the years i would randomly talk to her on fb she never once wrote on my wall although i often did for her birthday. it surprised me and was so random it excited me somehow. although i’m just some guy on facebook who talks to random women online.

Joyeux anniversaire


My birthday had passed recently and essentially I didn’t think about it until one of my coworkers asked what day it was. not sure why it slipped my mind like that but it came back to me quickly.

later before i left work becky bought be a cupcake not long after she came to work. she realized it was my birthday as it was posted to my fb account. she had someone in another department put writing on my cupcake.

that someone is mary. yeah unfortunately i talk about her on this blog a lot accusing her of “stalking” and wondering what’s going on upstairs in her mind. i’ve already talked about those “crazy vibes” from her. on realizing that she was responsible for the lettering i hugged her, just went over to her area asked and she obliged.

for the record becky is a hugger and for the cupcake she got one too.i was real tempted to say i really wanted to steal something else but thought better of it. really thoughtful of her to think of that.

so today a pair of anything from professional courtesies or friendly courtesies, whatever, cool thing she did. unfortunately before i got home to eat the cupcake the lettering smearing off posted the results on instagram. and then went home to chill for the rest of the day.


Identity word

i realized this blog may not always be focused entirely on me having a relationship (whether romantic or friendship) with a woman that will eventually lead to sex. this blog and my anonymity has allowed me to say some things that probably wouldn’t be said unless it was in a fit of anger or with people i would trust. of course even then there’s a risk to it.

lately i’ve been talking a lot about work. not a whole lot about my current job and certainly a lot of my past jobs. being anonymous is an easy way out to complain about something. especially without airing out too many details that would allow anyone to connect the dots.

either what you have read from the cinema at least has been somewhat silly in the grand scheme of things. it wasn’t that serious but it became serious because they were directed at me and gotten management involved.

all the same, i’ve decided to still talk about work topics. and also it’s really time to talk about what i need to do to find a meaningful relationship with women. what has been my issue up to this point. hopefully i can figure this out soon.

it would truly make my day if she comes around unexpectedly and i know exactly what to do to keep her.