i wrote a post about frustration earlier. it was as much about frustration with my job at the cinema although i never went at it at length. it’s a story and unfortunately i rarely forget these things. on top of that it weighs me down when i think about it and it’s time to really forget about it.
it’s funny when you think about it, this company i had been with for almost five years and i still have nothing but disdain for my experience there. it’s not like i didn’t make many connections with the many people i had worked with. it’s the people men, women, coworkers, and management with whom i failed to connect with.
perhaps i’d have found her at this point and maybe i’d still be there and not at the same level where i remained until turning in my notice. i think what i’m most upset about even now is my relationship with the coworkers. not sure how it got so bad with the ones i worked with the longest but also the ones who were essentially rookies.
i hate to place blame on a location for why things seem so bad to me. it’s seems really easy to point that finger. it seems the cinema where i was employed had a knack for hiring individuals who came in with the worst aspects of their personalities. especially after they settled in after a period of time.
unfortunately with many i bore the brunt of the worst aspect of their personalities. although i also recognize that i wasn’t alone and everyone else probably have their own stories to tell.
another thing i consider is the youth of so many who worked there. it was so easy for them to get under my skin and for me apparently to get under theirs. sometimes i got wise and sometimes they got wiser especially if it meant that you had to find a way to de-escalate the situation. sometimes i wasn’t so good at it with those individuals who were into engaging in aggressive actions.
with that being said while people connected with those whom they were compatible workwise there were many whom they likely didn’t get along with. in others just some irrational responses such as believing i would engage in similar behaviors with them or expecting me to when it was never my intention. for those like that it only showed they weren’t about anything.
that is to say they weren’t willing or able to cast aside their personal feelings for the sake of professionalism. it’s also something i’m guilty of as well, but only to prove my point as i knew that they didn’t care for me. can’t be outspoken about whatever feelings you may have for me to just stand there and just take it at least not for long.
with that being said, i’ve had the opportunity to reflect on some things and i learn more all the time. perhaps i should own my culpability in some of these situations as they could’ve been handled differently by me. and also that perhaps there wasn’t much i could do if those individuals insisted on engaging in actions i found disruptive.
regardless, some could beg the question if i was miserable why did i stay. my basic answer was because it was important for me to find another job first. this was why i stayed at the financial institution where i began to dread working until being terminated. with the sh*tty cinema it was important to show them that i could find something better than them.
it also possible that there was some comfort there. it was familiar and it took me leaving for me to realize that. it took me struggling at a new job for me to realize that.
funny thing is when i finally turned in my two week notice management noticed and were curious about where i was going. some it seemed were sorry to see me go, but also recognized it was time for me to go. this response was funny as with many on that team were more or less into letting me know how i messed up somewhere and for anything.
with those coworkers that i left behind and so many who left me behind they’re in the rearview mirror. while i seem to have a long memory that’s where they belong. they were miserable in their own way and brought it to work with them and i likely fed off/into that. that misery spread and probably affected the workplace in theirits own way.
now my goal is to say that i shall never allow myself to be so miserable like that again. i can’t let someone else’s negative or aggressive personality affect me so much that i only add to whatever problems exist at the job.