as i wish i can be sometimes

so i thought about hugs and then about becky why am i comfortable with them and less so with other women. actually other women i’ve worked with i think i get on with them in some way even if only professionally.

to be sure if i don’t get on very well with some women it might be personality differences especially at work. perhaps i just don’t mesh as well with them as they might not with me. i can say that relations will go downhill quick with a take charge type woman and especially if she has this need to run her big mouth.

either way i worth with becky one weeknight and then hugs came back to visit. unfortunately i never spoke to hugs and she brought her boyfriend along. as it turns out he used to work with us and transferred to another store. she on the other hand went back to school out of state.

i may just say i was disappointed that hugs has a boyfriend though not surprised as i’ve discussed this. lots of people like her so he should be a lucky man although let’s be honest here dating shouldn’t be a popularity contest. you either like someone or you don’t.

which leaves me to the point of this post. on this same evening mary spoke to me. the subject was two carts i saw a coworker run to the back and apparently near her department. i decided to use them only to find that they weren’t clean and our “convo” went from there discussing how everyone had their definition of clean. why didn’t i feel comfortable even with someone as cute as her.

now i’ve discussed mary at times before as well. i hesitate to really say a whole lot to her mainly because of the “crazy vibes”. not necessarily because of the “stalking” episode because i don’t take it very seriously.

she may be one with whom i can be comfortable aside from a hug only once on my birthday.  on this occasion i wasn’t at ease. how can i connect with any woman – who also happens to be single – if i’m not at ease.

on the other hand with hugs and becky i may have decided i either have no interest or more likely there isn’t chance for me to be with them. although to be sure i’ve toyed with the idea of attempting to woo becky. but for the moment becky has someone and it keeps me back for the moment. and also it doesn’t help to work with someone you would entertain dating or sex because that’s dangerous.


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