being bitter is not a good state and i only recently began to realize this. as stated once before dwelling is something i realize i tend to do. it’s very easy to sit around and just think about something you may or may not have had control over.
at times i know that many of those i consider friends or just coworkers realize i wasn’t always a joy to be around. that is one of my regrets as unfortunately it takes me to time to realize the effect i have on people.
all the same, i recently paid a visit to the neighborhood of the cinema where i formerly worked. nothing really has changed other than the shopping center where my job had been located now has more shopping options. i decided to pay a visit to a target nearby but only to use the bathroom and browse for the first time in a while. actually i only realized i had to use it after getting on the train and then sensing my bladder fill up and then deciding it would be difficult to make it home with this need to use it.
so i got off the train and headed to the target to use the bathroom and then browse the electronics section. it was a form of nostalgia because it’s not often enough that i’m there anymore. but then i came to this realization…
this wasn’t my neighborhood or scene anymore. i don’t work there and it’s not likely i would even as much as attend a show there. although i do have people i know who still work there in a managerial capacity. one of those have over time attempted to have me come to a movie there and i always find an excuse to not go. all the same i began to realize how much i didn’t belong anymore.
the scene has changed in the year and six or so months that i left. probably worse problems after i left or none at all for all i know. i hear there are more problems but who knows what they are and i’m not there so it’s really no longer my axe to grind.
i can still tell the stories at least to those who know who either worked there and express my disdain for those who never knew that place. then again why? what is my purpose when i tell these stories for the umpteenth time?
i don’t know but when you come to the realization that it’s time to move on, that is the best thing to do. i’m finally there and hopefully move forward from there.