Discomfort

discomfort

In light of my mother’s medical issues and her having to go through surgery I realize another thing that problem keeps me away from meaningful relationships with women. She often has the tendency since before and even after her surgery to want to hold my hand. Today when I went to visit her at the rehab facility she reached for my hand again and noticed how not very touchy feely I sometimes am.

This is no surprise to her I stated on this blog before I’m not a hugger. Especially those family members who insist on a hug every time I see them and have this need to force themselves on me because they just have to. But this surgery and my mother’s extended absence from home has brought out this touchy feely need in her that I may not always respond well to.

Since before I startes this blog and even now I’ve looked up anything on older male virgins. Well perhaps anything on virginity with men and women. Could my issue be social anxiety? Perhaps I have intimacy issues (perhaps “love shy“)? Could I be not very approachable?

I also found advice that suggested that if you don’t show interest in someone with whom you have an attraction or whatever then that’s the basic problem also. Lots of questions but uncertainty about the answer.

What I can say for sure is I’ve entered some odd territory her and I’m learning more about myself while she’s gone to rehab.

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