i’m going to start about four years ago before i get to the main point of this post. four years ago was the start of my two year long job hunt which ended….two years ago. i started essentially in summer 2012 and then ended by fall of 2014.

what kicked this period off in earnest was a management position at a neighborhood theater that i had frequented for years. the company was owned by a woman who it seemed wanted to do right by the community. it seemed we had a good interview and expected to get the job.

basically a friend of mine – anthony – put it in my head that this was a done deal, he was also involved in this process as he wanted to work for this particular company also. while i had nothing but seemingly good news regarding my interview he responded with shock in his texts with me that i never heard from her. indeed he had interviewed and advanced to the next round but after I send her a quick follow-up email she cut me out of the process as i didn’t have significant management experience.

needless to say i was upset because i needed this and to be sure this would’ve gotten me away from “the show” and the drama there quickly. i really thought this could be a good fit to bring my experience from working near downtown chicago and start a program to turn the neighborhood facility into a posh place that you would expect to only see downtown. it sadly didn’t happen for me that way and i whined about it for a long time especially as my job search was netting me zero results until October 2014.

as for anthony he didn’t get the job himself and the behind the scenes drama of this businesswoman with whom we both interviewed got blasted in the news. her business partner conducted a takeover of this business and ultimately it resulted in a decline where she appears to no longer be in that business in almost a year’s time. it was really sad and one way to look at it is that we both dodged a bullet because some shit began to hit the fan.

well this is one example of staking everything – my livelihood especially – on one position. i was ready to leave “the show” at that only to find that well i may have been ready but no one else was yet ready to give me the job. it never occurred to me that i wouldn’t get that management job and that makes this extremely disappointing.

let’s fast forward four years later. i wrote here recently i was up for a promotion at my store. an interview was scheduled at first only to be canceled due to some technical issues at the store. there was a tentative date only for that to be pushed back due to meetings upon meetings upon meetings. then a bombshell recently.

one of my department assistant managers told me that there is an expectation that the position i was seeking – essentially a trainer supervisory role – could be eliminated due to budget issues. i had to process this but then i wasn’t too upset, disappointed yeah because i was looking forward to this one although for now it wasn’t meant to be.

i didn’t take this hard at all. what can be said was that things happen and that is that. i was gung ho but that just means for now i can relax. i’m still a regular employee for a bit longer. i didn’t really take advantage of the many past opportunities to move up at the store so that’s on me and the one i did go for may not happen for me.

at least for now, i need not stake my livelihood on a promotion as much as i think i’m ready for additional responsibilities. i had my promotion last year to full-time status which was an unexpected development but very welcome. the different between now and four years ago is that this will not bother me a whole lot for the moment and i know there will be other opportunities to take advantage of.

indeed i thought about this. what if say my current job enabled me to get the experience to go back to the movie theater business as a manager. one way to look at it if this was something i really wanted to do. as it turned out even though this was my first management interview experience it proved not to be the last and better opportunities came up later in spite of that initial disappointment.

by the way, the song of choice was no accident. it seemed fitting to use this James Bond theme for this post. “for you, i have to risk it all” seems to be good background music for this post especially for the subject matter.

One thought on “disappointment

  1. Reblogged this on Feeling No Love and commented:

    I share this post because, there is a modern day disappointment that happened recently. This involved an interview I mentioned in another post which came and went. It started off shaky and got some great feedback, however, I didn’t get the job.

    So in this past post I started off talking about the handful of mgmt or higher level interviews I’ve had over the years. Looks as if I’m still looking for that opportunity and back then I decided I wasn’t going to stake everything on it. So that’s what my mindset is now.

    I’m more relieved that that process is over than upset that it didn’t happen. On the other hand it’s causing me to re-evalutate how I pursue better positions. That means I need to step up my game, this time around I just didn’t show the polish I know is possible with yours truly.

    Perhaps in situations like that if you want something you have to re-evaluate how to get to where you need to be. That’s what’s also on my mind now. And I don’t necessarily mean that it has to be at “Fresh Foods”.

    Someone gave me the great advice of make some mistakes, fall on your face. Well I’m learning that lesson right now and live I’ve said a few times this year, I’ll never know if I don’t try.

    In writing that post a few years ago, I wrote about Anthony – who wasn’t yet referred to as “The Hustler”. I put out a post on facebook to mark the interview and guess who writes a message of good luck with a question about what I have going on. Communication black out be damned he still wants to connect even if I show no interest in reconnecting. It’s just an example of how my mind shifted over the years on him.

    Finally, I thin this song fits. You’d have to click through to listen to it. It was the main theme for the last James Bond picture, Writing’s on the Wall by Sam Smith. Great song and fitting for what I have been writing about back then and the current situation now.


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