so what’s in a name?

you know many of the places i discuss especially a workplace are based on real locales. i don’t like discussing the actually names of these places and often choose to keep it vague.

for example while i have been a college graduate for a number of years i still have chosen not to name the college only the state. allow me to change that in this post.mcg

when referring to that liberal arts college that i attended in georgia, it will referred to as “mission college”, a fictitious college in the film school daze directed by spike lee. i recommend that movie it’s good and addressed college life for young black people. it also has some messages therein.

btw, it turns out there is a real mission college located in california, but i had no idea about it until i looked for anything related to the mission college from the movie school daze.

hillmancollege

the all-girls school will be referred to as “hillman college”. “hillman” is the fictitious college shown in the tv sitcom a different world. it’s a spin-off the cosby show which portrayed one of the daughters of bill cosby’s tv family going away to school. unfortunately that character dropped out and the show carried on with a different focus.

as for all the other places say the community college i attended before leaving for “mission” i haven’t decided an appropriate pseudonym. perhaps i will as there are some stories to tell from that period of time. indeed i’ve told one and it won’t be the only one although not the only one involving women.

perhaps while i’m at it i can add names to the various place i have worked for. that’ll be a project for later. perhaps a new name for “the show” and the dine-in show i briefly worked at.

also a new name for the current job, i had thought about what i wanted to name that place. even thought about using the brand name of grocery stores that are long gone. to be determined for that.

the friend request

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funny thing happened recently one of my aunts on my mother’s side friend requested me. this aunt we’ll call laura i have something of an odd relationship with.

to start aside from our familial relationship we’re not particularly close. i’m a person who lives in an urban area laura prefers to live in the almost exurbs. while so far i’ve yet to rent out a piece of real estate she has especially a few mcmansions. she seems to have a history of living above her means.

all the same over the years she has tried somewhat  hard to reach out to me. when i went away to the liberal arts school she e-mailed me. express interest in me visiting her house to watch some football of which thanks to many seasons of disappointing bears football caused me to never follow-up on that. it also doesn’t help that from where i were it takes time to get anywhere she may reside.

so this event makes it easy to tell this story. i find it somewhat amusing, however, i can see where it doesn’t come off very well for me. i may expand further on this later but just illustrates how i can be and the reasoning.

to start when i first went away to school i was at a family reunion meeting held a good distance away from the college. one of my other aunts had picked me up to take me up there and it was nothing more than a free meal to me. so i went up and saw and heard some of the planning behind the family reunion. of all people my grandmother who isn’t usually keen on family reunions was there getting involved.

near the end before it was about time for me to go back to campus laura called on me a simple “hey jack” and then asked if there was anything i’d like to say. now it’s hard for me to say i was obnoxious or just evasive to speaking to a crowd, but my response was a quick no after thinking about it for a moment. she jolted back as if i had struck her with lightning.

every now and then i like to tell that story. it’s just a story to me, but when you think about it what was a i trying to prove. likely it’s not a whole lot just something funny to me that happened after realizing someone’s response to my behavior. a behavior which to them they just didn’t expect. laura likely genuinely thought i would have some remarks especially for the free meal i just got.

so later on we had our family reunion in georgia and one morning our family down there paid us a visit in our hotel. laura was in our room and if i recall correctly i was likely still a bit sleepy. for whatever reason she started in on me quick trying to get a conversation with me. i kept giving a basic answer.

for example she wanted to know what my roommate’s name was i just gave her a first name, “what’s his late name?” then i gave his last name, but basically while i may generally be introverted others who were observing the situation realized how uninterested i was in conversing. it seemed for a moment laura didn’t quite get the hint. my mother noted years later that she saw how uninterested in talking i had been and saw her sister just switch gears quick after realizing that this convo wasn’t progressing.

just to show how tenacious laura was other than trying to get a last name for my roommate she saw me take out a mint and was quick to ask me for one which i complied silently. she’s often very quick to just do that as later when we toured a landmark in atlanta that day she did it to me again when i bought some candy from a store before going back to the exurbs.

there are further stories of this that will be expanded upon later. laura and i haven’t really interacted with each other very well over the years. and i recognize sometimes that people who try very hard don’t get very far with me. bad news is that if i find myself feeding into some idea or some unfortunate behavior all i can do is add the necessary ammunition.

to be honest she wasn’t the first family member whom i haven’t done well with over the years to connect with me on fb. another one of my aunts came to chicago, in a story to be told later to help out around the house and she has been great. she friend requested me not only once but twice as she has two accounts. i kept them unanswered for a number of years. the shitty part about this is that when going to school in georgia she has helped me out the most back then.

also one of my cousins have friend requested me. i hadn’t done very well with her she had to call me out once because i did something that was out of line and i can say that yes i did. on the other hand it caused some distance on my end and she accepted it although she has her moments where she tries to be the bigger person and i’m not receiving it. anyway she’s another one whose friend request will for the time being remain unanswered.

as for laura for the time being i won’t answer her friend request.

matchmaking

matchmaking

i’ve been particularly bad with online dating. the way i see it this is something always done with fb with no levels of success. that is i never had the opportunity to connect with the women i wanted to connect with.

for example, perhaps i wanted the true babes so to speak. the beautiful women but either they weren’t interested or attracted to me or i was too late and they’re with someone. and sometimes on my own, i don’t always come off well.

recently i was on the phone with a matchmaker and irony of ironies i met this person via tinder. a dating app used for business purposes that shouldn’t be allowed :P.

anyway after trading messages for about a month i finally connected and we talked for a few minute she set me up a profile. i expressed interest in possibly image coaching which is something i need. and while being added to a database, it’s fine if i can become a client at some point and hope to meet someone who wants what i want.

of course my interest is in having a family i made that clear. my life goals aren’t as clear although i’ve expressed a desire to move up where i am now and perhaps move on to something entrepreneurial – such as real estate.

as for the person she wants to match me up with well she doesn’t live nearby and she’s older at 37, but i’m open. the reason i’m open is because i need to get out there and start meeting these women. unfortunately it’s difficult for me to get out here and meet these women even to just approach them cold.

believe me it’s possible to make a connect as a service worker. there are a good number of women who are seen during the course of a shift and to stay professional as you never know what’s going on in anyone’s head at any time. believe me there have been some odd situations with customers.

either way perhaps if i continue doing this i’ll be comfortable with the idea of dating and hopefully i can find what i’m looking for. perhaps i’ll find this young woman who’ll be the mother of my children and will be an awesome wife. and now it’s possible for me to enter the dating world.

let the matchmaking commence…

Odds & ends 

I’m writing this post on my iPad in the AM as my aunt and my brother a cleaning crew are engaged in helping out around the house. It’s in a state of upheaval because my aunt is into interior decorating and my brother  is helping to build computer desks the cleaning crew cleans the house. The cleaning crew is necessary because this is what the doctors request over a month ago for my mother who had a brief stay in the hospital, as a result her immune system had been weakened.

At this moment my aunt and mother are upstairs doing some work in the bathroom while my door is closed with me typing this post. So while still laying in bed this morning there’s some drills machines and discussion going on and it’s a little much as my day is really just getting started.

Of course all of this is the result of my mother’s ongoing health issues that began last summer with a diagnosis of a compound fracture in her hip. So she needs some help around the house and probably a lot more than I can offer and it’s certainly needed but the outright upheaval is irritating.

At least as I got home in the evening I’m typing on a new computer desk that had been put together by yours truly. At least it’s not on a more bulky desk that it had been on and certainly with a lot more room and space. So at this moment I shall not complain too much.

In other news….I got my third raise at work recently. Remember that movie Mo’ Money….I’m feeling it now!

My assistant manager noted my attention to detail and suggested perhaps I can be a buyer although I hate to get up that early but eh it’s another job I can learn. I should add where was this attention to detail at the bank as that was one of the things they didn’t mind hitting me on….

I express interest in moving up at least as a supervisor, and then it hits me that an old friend anthony was right. While he often likes to say that if you’re not like them – management at “the show” they won’t look at you to move up, he often says that in the promotion department I was took quiet. I have to express interest and back it up with action. Ask questions about numbers, labor, and operations….

So if I had done this at “the show” with the right people it could’ve happened and perhaps i would be frustrated still as it’s possible that the management team wouldn’t be the right fit. Before getting to that step I’d have gotten myself shot down in the worst way. As stated in another post becoming a supervisor there wouldn’t be worth it as other than slightly higher pay I’d still get no benefits. I get the title and the pay but that’s all!

The reason this is always a positive development was that the management at “the show” didn’t believe in giving raises. I had no benefits and it took almost the last year I was there to purchase benefits outside of work. Which enabled me to get some necessary work done on my teeth.

Either good news for my 2nd anniversary of my time at the current job and over two years out from “the show”.

january 2015

january-baby-names

at this point i was still unemployed however i was set to meet with my soon to be new manager at the store where i would be working. so i was on the road to getting back to work after the setback of getting fired from the bank the previous month. it would turn out to be an interesting year.

also the previous month i met with anthony. throughout the previous year he was giving me some job leads and i took advantage of two of them with no results. so he didn’t get me employed anywhere else, but i did at the bank. and he was happy for me.

in his words from that period of time he had a strong sense of relief that i finally left “the show”. he saw that i was frustrated during my job search and he saw that i was miserable. unfortunately i had a real tough time doing something about it and a lot of it was a self inflicted wound.

i never told him that i got fired from the bank. he’d want to know why and that’s not a can of worms i’d want to open. also i noted before he can be outspoken and was outspoken about my new future job.

the meeting before the new year i may have indicated to him that i was having a hard time at the job. i may have also indicated that the branch located closer to home in a not very good neighborhood was not where i really wanted to be. yet this is the job that got me out of “the show”.

needless to say i led him to believe that i had quit. he asked point blank if i left the bank for grocery to which i simply said yes. then he referred to it as a bad career move. reality is that a bad career move is getting fired in the first place. but i only wanted to tell him that. he calmed down after i pointedly told him that i don’t miss his judgement. only saying that he was still glad i finally left “the show”.

the next month i paid an unintentional visit to “the show” for the first time in about four months. ran into a coworker who was about to come in to work and i just found myself following him into the facility. saw one of the managers who i was somewhat close to, i sort of regret the convo we had as i was rambling and still harbored some negative feelings. but it was cool to see some changes there.

for example, instead of the pop towers i used during my time there now the theater had those freestyle machines. create your own soft drink concoction that was really cool. i saw some of the supervisors there who greeted me and then some of the silly young people i met who merely shot me a brief smirk and for what who knows and who cares. i also learned one of the senior managers had finally moved onto another job and he needed to believe me. apparently the only necessary change wasn’t just for me to finally leave. 😛

for a good period of time since starting this blog i often wrote about some of the negative about getting fired from the bank and some of my misadventures at the show. however after getting hired at a grocery store this time two years ago being briefly on unemployment more positive changes were on the way and in good time too.

new years goals 2017

goal

financial – i want to continue as much as possible what i have been doing for the past 4+ years. continue to save money once it was between $25 or $50 per paycheck and these days i often save about $75 per paycheck. i also have a 401k so i also resolve to pay attention to those assets which are important for the day i’m ready to retire and i hope that’s years away. if i keep saving i’ll be ready for this next step.

transporation – i’m a creature of public transit and don’t see that changing in the near future as long as i live somewhere with a decent system. one way to be mobile and go places where i want to go that isn’t easily accessible by public transit is to have a car. it’s probably the first investment i can make and hopefully i can find something to pay cash with and hopefully not wipe out a significant amount of my own savings. and this investment i can put forward on another vehicle at the right time.

real estate – to start i would like an apartment this year finally move out on my own but that is only a start. my ultimate goal is to own a home, hopefully several piece of real estate around the city and hopefully in part of town that are expected to grow in the future. one pipe dream in a place with low property values to custom build a home of great architectural significance. but that means i better have some cash put away so that i can afford that.

travel – last year i went to a reunion on the west coast. 2017 hopefully i can find somewhere to go that i’ve never been. just spend a weekend there. as long as i have the financial resources to do that it’s something worth doing.

work – i want to get promoted at work. i have been lucky to have gotten promoted to full-time at my current job in 2015. as of now i want to get into a leadership role and hopefully there are two possible paths whether or not i stick with the grocery store or i go back to the movies. in the latter case i have to return to the company i had worked with for 7 months and it was a great period of time, but due to my schedule i couldn’t do both when i finally quit. time to come up with a good plan for that…

hobbies – i’m big on photography mainly streetscapes and architecture. not only that i like to take video though at this time it’s most on my smartphone. i need to change that and go back to using a real camera or camcorder. hell, i’ve thought about going to my local cable access studios and taking some classes in tv production. it would be cool to take a hobby to another level and share with the general public. perhaps become a side hustle

love – as always it’s a long term goal and few prospects. thing i must figure out is how to change this. while i am a virgin it’s not just sex i want. although i’ve entertained the idea of having sex with a dear friend who cares about me it’s still important to make that connect with a woman who wants to be with me. that’s far more important than to just lose my virginity. of course the main goal is marriage and i hope i can find someone who doesn’t want to waste time in going in front of the justice of the peace for example. perhaps this is something – to find that special woman – that i really want and need to crack. where do i start aside from online dating (which will be the subject of a future post.

happy new year 2017

new-years-resolutionone of the main accomplishments that i’ve noted on this blog fairly often was leaving “the show”. i had been stagnant there and it seems i ran afoul of people who i appeared to have rubbed the wrong way. in some case many of them were just looking for a problem anyway.

but there are plenty of valuable lesson i’ve learned two years after i left. if you have to fight with almost everybody at a job it’s time to go. if pay and job growth is stagnant it’s time to go. if there’s nothing one can to to change one’s position at a job and everyone – especially management – is against you no matter what it’s time to go.

it’s been a great two years my pay has gone up for sure. i’ve really started saving money about six years ago starting with tax refunds. and aside from a few times when i had to pull from savings or overdrawing my checking account i’ve been saving money in earnest for about 4 years. usually with small amounts from paycheck to paycheck.

although with that i missed the boat about 16+ years when when interest rates were much higher than they are now. as of now i have more savings now, than i had when i was getting survivor’s benefits as a minor during & after my senior year of high school.

all the same the more i progress especially in this new year, the more i can progress financially. it’s a long time in coming, but hopefully the best is yet to come. as long as there is that optimism this will be a great year for me.