arguing with a nerdy girl

would you believe once that i told a young lady that “it’s a good thing i don’t care what you think”? well that didn’t go very well for me at that point.

one night at “the show” i had to seat theaters – we had reserved seating there. it was a saturday night and i just decided to cover myself with a walkie and a small flashlight. the walkie i just simply took without asking but decided if something is going on was worth having even if management didn’t agree. in which case i’d have given it up without question.

the small flashlight was for seaters especially when the theater is dark and you need to see numbers on the seats and the tickets with the seat numbers. while i barely did the job because it was such an obnoxious task dealing with obnoxious people who wanted to do what they wanted – even if it was a crowded auditorium. regardless it wasn’t so easy to switch jobs at this point, they took away the old scheduling system and we actually had to go through management to get a switch approved at least a head of time.

anyway my young coworker – we’ll call her nancy – saw that i had a flashlight and a walkie. at first she says i don’t need a walkie and then said i didn’t need a flashlight. this coming from a young lady who herself was carrying one of those flashlight wands which i never enjoyed carrying and never saw the point of it. her job was to check theaters and she was in my theater before the show started.

i tried to tell her why i had the flashlight which is for us to seat when the theater was dark but she got stuck on her idea that i didn’t need it. we went back and forth for a while until i finally just cracked on her and she didn’t like. “shut up talking to me”, she said.

finally i just told her you’re arguing with the wrong one and she stopped. sometimes it takes me time to catch up to her own feelings, but if i was cool to her at one point as time goes on i wasn’t to her. eventually after one more oddball moment the next night she wouldn’t say anything else to me until she got fired allegedly for theft later. nancy had been among the group fired in february 2013.

all i can do is explain my side of the story and say that i took what was available for me to do the job at hand. she decided to question it because she didn’t see the point. perhaps i shouldn’t have fed into it, however, i did and caused a quick argument. my only point was that she had no right to tell me how to do my job. she felt as if she had an opinion.

nancy was about 16 or 17 at the time who i would describe as nerdy. however what cost her that job later in my opinion was the crowd she chose to hang around. she associated with the thieves who later lost their jobs. how this happened was a funny story and later feel bad about it.


the story goes that she went at it with one of the senior managers. it’s possible he said something crazy and dug in. it’s also possible she wasn’t much different either. she got pulled into the office and somewhat intimidated presumably – adding this element of this story myself – she told them that she stole. with the management being what it was at the time, that took care of her job.

i only laughed at the time but as time went on i felt bad. i laughed when i heard the story or rumor as i prefer to treat it. when i heard she got let go i was somewhat surprised. but then the way she went off at me digging in to her own opinion as i had during that moment in the auditorium probably was an indication of her youth.

many of the people i didn’t get along very well with were very young. they knew everything but actually not enough. they probably learned to play the politics and point fingers and had been successful with it. however, doing that only lasts so long and if you do that with the wrong managers it won’t look good for you. it seems they get away with that nonsense there.

long story short with nancy there was no reconciliation. i took care of her once after she was let go and handled this professionally. i pretended this was the first time i met her although i knew who she was. she may not have forgotten the history no matter how short it was as it turned out. i do hope however that she learned from that experience not with me, but as far as the job.



our dept. manager left over the weekend. he already announced he was leaving the company. one of the assistant managers told me quietly that he applied to a job at another store in another department. we found out recently that he got it….

at one point in our dept. we had five assistant managers. our original manager left to become an assistant store manager at another store. one of the assistants – who opened with us moved on to california at another store and in a different dept. one of the other assistants became the new dept. manager.

another one who got promoted to two roles while there ultimately becoming one of the five assistant managers became a dept. manager at another store. and the changes aren’t ending there our acting dept. manager is planning to move in the near future so she won’t be there much longer either.

in other words, we got a changing dept after over two years. i don’t feel stagnant as of now since i’ve learned other stations so i need to work with the manager i do have right now. as long as i can still make money and continue to grow in that dept i’m not doing too bad. now i should consider what else i can do to expand my skills.

while i may view this with concern, perhaps i shouldn’t yet. time will tell if i have no choice but to make my own changes. unlike at “the show”, i had barely a path because i narrowed it.

if i wasn’t growing as a box office, concessionist, or usher i could go to the restaurant. i had little interest in being a server or a bartender. perhaps i could be a busser or a host – i had a joke a male host would be called a male hostess lol. i had little interest in working the kitchen. and yes i wanted to become a supervisor ultimately, but what had i shown them and would it have mattered if i did.

interestingly i kept making jokes about the old job, about the show at work one night. and one of the supervisors asked point blank what we could do to keep up morale. it’s very important now more than ever.

i joked about how if morale is in the tank find ways to make people far more miserable. talk as much shit to them as possible when they start complaining. don’t make any changes, play favorites. generally just keep people on edge.

so he asked point blank and i gave him some pointers. don’t just beat people upside the head with rules changes. make expectations clear. then i came up with since we may not have “leaders” in our dept for a minute. let the leaders emerge.

there was a posting in the back for the customer service department to have regular employees work the front desk. and this position could lead at some point or ultimately provide training for a customer service supervisor. perhaps at this critical time this department could do the same thing. have a point for our critical areas. perhaps that’s one idea that will carry forward until we have our new boss.

the idea wouldn’t be to give them the responsibility without giving them the compensation. it would be to give them the responsibility so that they would be ready to take on the new role of supervisor. something to consider at this time, hopefully.

letting go


when i started a post entitled letting go, it would’ve been about “the show”. now in this case i can talk about getting some semblance of a love life. it doesn’t exist and it takes energy to get one. so perhaps i need a change of emphasis, pressure, or strategy.

i’ve been trying online dating since joining facebook over a decade ago and connected with the ladies of hillman college. then i’ve tried online dating through happn and tinder with varying results but the main thing no dates. in some cases however i got phone numbers and in another friend them on fb.

i never called the ones who gave me phone numbers and the one i connected with on fb dropped me and cut off all contact. not sure what happened other than i helped her lose interest and all i did was inquire about her employment. more and more i learn that it doesn’t take women much before they decide you’re not the one.

either way i’ve decided that perhaps a change of strategy is necessary. yes last month i met with a matchmaker and she offered some coaching at a discount which i have yet to get back to her on. regardless it represents one change of strategy.

another change has been that my poking and messaging days on fb has to end. that may not mean i may not check out women i work with or also went to hillman on fb. it just means that the mistakes made over the years have built up and perhaps i can’t stay stuck on it much longer.

perhaps i limited the pool so much that now i shouldn’t worry about it and hope that this idea of love will just fall in my lap. of course it won’t unless i’m willing to take a change whenever it comes up and unfortunately i won’t know what to do when it does.

sometimes the focus just has to be on self. i think of myself as a great writer i should just learn to write. perhaps it’s time to get out of the house and live on my own even if it was on a part-time basis – just so that i won’t be that far away from my mother who’s still undergoing treatment for her hip fracture. there are other interests i need to take the time to involve myself with.

with this in mind perhaps i shouldn’t worry about finding her. and whether or not i find that fabled female companion who is surely out there for me i must strive to become that guy. it’s not just for that woman but for yours truly and hopefully for the rest of the world.

so even though we’re two months in 2017, this needs to become a year of monumental change. i said i wanted to go up to at least a supervisor level at my current job. then what else must i do.

2017 can easily become 2014 – another year of great change. question is what do i have to do to get there?


aaeaaqaaaaaaaadgaaaajdhlntm2zjzklwfmymqtnda5zi1hzdhjlwuwzjeymdfkmwriywyou know a couple of posts ago i said my mother was pretty good with bad timing and now i see i’m not much better with that. now i have the ability to really do far more than ever especially since my income is going up. i feel ready to go out and actually date.

when my mother’s company failed – she worked at a bank – while she’s on medical leave and then her insurance was cancelled by the new company it opened up a new can of worms. the day it happened i met with a matchmaker who was gathering more info on me for a potential date.

to be honest it didn’t go very well as i’m still wearing an old pair of glasses and i couldn’t find my repair kit. so i had putty on my glasses the matchmaker noticed eventually. i took them off as we had a far more serious conversation than i had expected. she had her own expectations as far as who she wants to match her clients with.

then i had my own frank conversation noting far more liberally than i should’ve my mother’s situation. she noted my decision making ability as far as the jobs i accepted. then i note my belief that i’m in a position to really do dating and hopefully marriage. i was certainly better off now than i had been at “the show” where i was stuck at minimum wage. my fear is that because my mother developed her health issues over 7 months ago it may be expected of me to be her caretaker and this isn’t the role i need now.

then i consider what has happened in the ensuing week since these changes that were certainly out of my mother’s control. to start when she lost her insurance she only found out when the nursing agency called to let her know she has no insurance and they won’t be sending a nurse to our house. essentially this nurse who has been something of a frequent visitor for roughly the past two months administered i.v. fluids and when those were no longer prescribed flushed out the portal my mother had inserted that was eventually removed recently.

while i had closing shifts at work and was looking forward to at least catch a show before reporting in she dropped a bombshell and told me she needed me to take her to the doctor. the original plan had been that she would have her neighbor chauffeur her to the hospital to get her portal flushed but later this neighbor realized she couldn’t do it because of a prior commitment. because my mother knew my schedule it fell to me.

finally the matchmaker offered some coaching unfortunately – as i’m keenly interested due to these recent changes with my mother’s job and her health insurance – i’ve yet to get back to her. it’s possible she may have forgotten and sadly i have to make time for this in order for me to get started.

at the same time if i meet this matchmaker again hopefully i’ll have more to bring to this table. perhaps just get some new glasses since i do have vision insurance then go to a barber and get a hair cut. at least have something to offer and give her something to work with. beyond that have some goals and vision that i can find a woman to get behind. i suppose that means i have to please that woman in someway before she could ever consider pleasing me.

also lately i’ve been looking online for places to rent and not far away from where home is. thing is no where is particularly ideal until you own the house. in the meanwhile as my mother considers retirement for the first time after this ordeal as she still heals from her sudden compound fracture last year i have to really start jump-starting my own life.

odds & ends

i found out recently that my boss – who replaced the boss who hired me after getting a promotion – put in his two weeks. he’s leaving the company and he hadn’t been our department manager for a whole year. that means a whole lot more change after two years at the store.

his surprising departure wasn’t the only one. we’ve lost a lot of people due to attendance and some outright quit.

one young man who had been without a doubt a very enthusiastic coworker decided to quit out of the blue. the sequence of events had been he put in his two weeks, he had found a new job at a burger joint and was very enthusiastic about it. and then one day just stopped coming in for his schedule shifts.

i added him on fb recently and his statuses indicate that he likes it so far. time will tell, but because of how he chose to depart even after giving his two weeks might make it difficult for him to return. we’ve had others leave only to return later. one of those individuals also quit recently.

our department is woefully short staff although at the moment we could get some relief. they posted some jobs for our department and a posting for our new dept. manager. so i’ll have to take a wait and see attitude but to be honest at this new development i was very disappointed. i hope our soon to depart boss is doing what’s best for him and that would take the sting away at least.

back to the enthusiastic young man, one of our more experienced coworkers talked about him. someone else told him the news as he never knew. he asked where’s the stability, 401K, etc. all we can say now is that he’s doing what he believes is best for him now. another coworker said he wasn’t getting the respect he thought he deserved or the recognition.

to which i say, yeah i hear that. i worked somewhere that didn’t give me respect. i got the job done, but then there was something else i didn’t do to their satisfaction. of course some of this was a self-inflicted wound for example at “the show” i didn’t get along with people. perhaps it was in part my personality or because i worked with people who were looking for conflicts. sometimes it wasn’t me who fired the first shot.

but what i will say for the young man is that everyone noticed when he essentially stopped showing up. people loved him and respected him it was bad business how he left the store. as another worker put it, he goes all in with everything he does. whenever he started his job and liked what he saw he committed and forgot about his old coworkers.

it almost reminded me of when i transitioned from “the show” to the bank. it wasn’t entirely smooth, missed a couple of shifts because of the new job. one day was when i had to report  to the branch and they weren’t flexible not that they had to be. the last day was the day after my last worked shift, the next shift was during the time i had to go to off-site training for the bank. i could’ve easily said forget them, but turning in my notice was my form of forget them and worked most of my remaining scheduled shifts.

the people i got along with at “the show” probably noticed. the ones who found some issues with me likely didn’t and it’s none of my business whether they were glad i was leaving or had little response to it. probably didn’t matter if i left to find something much better than what i had done for almost 5 years. all i can point out is that some of the senior managers noticed and for the smallest issues they gave me grief, they couldn’t believe i was finally leaving.

however, now as i plot my next move after these developments it’s time to determine which direction i should go. the point to make more money which is important but then what else. i can’t sit on my ass and expectt nothing more than stability. i stagnated at “the show”, i should always strive to progress now that it’s been two years since i left the movie theater.


on a sunday i had just gotten home from work my aunt paid us a visit shortly before i got off work. just before i got settled my mother wanted me to go put some trash out so i went ahead and did it because she said it was leaking. before i got out of the house i made sure to put the trash in another garbage bag and took it out.

then after i get back in and expected to settle in for the night, my mother bellows from the kitchen with her sister that she wanted me to go back out and get her some more water from the car. talk about terrible timing as she knew i just got back in and she expected me to go back out to the garage.

i don’t know how she became funny about water. i bought two gallon jugs of water, then almost a whole case of bottled water from the car on another day, and then she wanted me to buy more Dasani waters. so on that occassion she wanted me to get the dasani that was still in the car in the garage. that irritated me and let her know i just came from outside, i’m sure she knew i didn’t like that unfortunately her process isn’t on the same time as my own. i hated making two trip like that and unnecessarily. i’ve begun to learn that she’s awful with timing…

speaking of bad timing my mother is on leave from her current job and unfortunately in something of a hostil takeover her company was taken over by another. the processes of this company is different that the one they took over and as a result this company immediately cancelled the insurance plans of their new employees. my mother is scrambling to find out how she’s going to pay for the doctor we’ve been having a nurse come over at first to administer iv fluid now it’s to clean out the portal which is now coming out soon. still just more drama at this point and my mother is still not at the point where she will be able to return to work.

my mother since she returned from the hospital has largely been bereft of energy. the treatment she had to go through in december to further treat her compound fracture had taken its toll. her immune system got depressed with this treatment. taking out bone marrow and replacing some blood plasma without a doubt is a traumatic treatment. plus she really hasn’t been able to eat a lot of food just doesn’t have a healthy appetitte right now although she’s always been something of a nibbler it’s just worse now than ever.

february 2013


“the show” during the course of this month had started firing people. a number of people had been caught stealing whether an extra cup of nacho cheese, a hot dog or even charging $1 for a personal pan pizza that cost $6. it started with two people whom was handing around the cheese and since they got caught red-handed they started ratting everyone else who they knew were stealing.

in other cases the employees in question admitted they stole and after a serious argument with management or they stupidly stole something right in front of management. either way no matter the story management was cracking down and it cost a good number of people their jobs, rightfully so. some of the ones who lost their jobs were cool and it was very unfortunate but that’s the time i was working in. one of my coworkers were buddies with one of the supervisor so we got a list of those who lost their jobs.

what a horrible and stressful period of time, but then i accepted this more than i should’ve. i could ask what were we stealing for, but reality is in my mind the job is shitty most of us who care aren’t getting anything for caring even if it wasn’t immediate. i knew i wasn’t and the year started off with me just in a real bad mood with my house manager who was doing his job but was a serious douchebag when he did it acting like he owned me for the paltry pay i was stuck at. management chewing me out for the least little thing wasn’t worth it for the money i was bringing home although it was still a job regardless and remained there for the next year plus.

this leads me to the next highlight of this coming month i finally landed another interview with a competing movie theater along the magnificent mile. i had actually never been there before – in fact if i had been more serious about job hunting during my community college years this would’ve been my first job. when i returned their call the next day they immediately hit me with why did i want to leave “the show” and i stumbled because i just didn’t expect that.

either way using some of anthony’s interview advice i went to this interview on a sunday and did as best as i could hope to present the best case possible. i wanted this job to leave the show and this theater job represented growth as this was a national chain, where it was possible for a management job was a strong possibility and no more “we” decided if you should move up no application or anything “we” approach you.

long story short the person who called me and interviewed me was a supervisor who was joined with her own boss (one of the theater managers). her boss i don’t think was feeling me, my goal was to make the best case possible but it was possible that perhaps i tried way too hard to get on their level and it cooled things with her boss. the interviewed ended after my questions abruplty with the manager stating that they will be making decisions within a week and if you don’t hear from us please don’t take it personally.

well i never heard from them again and that wasn’t the response i wanted – a third rejection since september 2012. still wondering and nearby that location with my friend anthony  we decided to go drop by and ask about my interview thus asked for the hr manager not really thinking. he told me that if i hadn’t heard anything yet, i probably wasn’t going to get it. when anthony wanted to catch a show right there seeing something of interest i already wasn’t in the mood and might have raised my voice a little. i told him what happened and then made our way to a local restaurant and he was working on me with regards to this interview he wanted me to go back and talk to that manager as he knew i really wanted this. the hr point told me that the manager who interviewed me would be in that night so just go in and talk to him.

anthony i’ve learned was the type of guy who would follow-up on jobs, applications, interviews and find out who were the players in a particular organization. but me being me at this point in time, the moment i get bad news made it hard for me to even want to follow-up on this. he followed up with me on this later i faintly said damn it and he facepalmed quickly and decided that i didn’t follow-up at all.


either way this much was clear my frustration was beginning to mount about my position and so far my inability to score a job offer. little did i know that by the end of 2013 i would get three more interviews and get nothing for it, no job offers at all…