when i started a post entitled letting go, it would’ve been about “the show”. now in this case i can talk about getting some semblance of a love life. it doesn’t exist and it takes energy to get one. so perhaps i need a change of emphasis, pressure, or strategy.
i’ve been trying online dating since joining facebook over a decade ago and connected with the ladies of hillman college. then i’ve tried online dating through happn and tinder with varying results but the main thing no dates. in some cases however i got phone numbers and in another friend them on fb.
i never called the ones who gave me phone numbers and the one i connected with on fb dropped me and cut off all contact. not sure what happened other than i helped her lose interest and all i did was inquire about her employment. more and more i learn that it doesn’t take women much before they decide you’re not the one.
either way i’ve decided that perhaps a change of strategy is necessary. yes last month i met with a matchmaker and she offered some coaching at a discount which i have yet to get back to her on. regardless it represents one change of strategy.
another change has been that my poking and messaging days on fb has to end. that may not mean i may not check out women i work with or also went to hillman on fb. it just means that the mistakes made over the years have built up and perhaps i can’t stay stuck on it much longer.
perhaps i limited the pool so much that now i shouldn’t worry about it and hope that this idea of love will just fall in my lap. of course it won’t unless i’m willing to take a change whenever it comes up and unfortunately i won’t know what to do when it does.
sometimes the focus just has to be on self. i think of myself as a great writer i should just learn to write. perhaps it’s time to get out of the house and live on my own even if it was on a part-time basis – just so that i won’t be that far away from my mother who’s still undergoing treatment for her hip fracture. there are other interests i need to take the time to involve myself with.
with this in mind perhaps i shouldn’t worry about finding her. and whether or not i find that fabled female companion who is surely out there for me i must strive to become that guy. it’s not just for that woman but for yours truly and hopefully for the rest of the world.
so even though we’re two months in 2017, this needs to become a year of monumental change. i said i wanted to go up to at least a supervisor level at my current job. then what else must i do.
2017 can easily become 2014 – another year of great change. question is what do i have to do to get there?