Change

I used to say you can find yourself in a good situation and you can always lose it. You say that thinking it braces you from the impact of what happens, and then it happens. In this case losing your job which happened to me recently at “fresh foods”.

Perhaps i believe I’m more than capable of handling any problem as you see from the body of work on this blog, it’s not always true. In this case I couldn’t handle the new situation at work, a new manager with a new team. I didn’t trust them and they didn’t keep me from losing my job.

In writing this post I could talk about the grumbling from some of my now former coworkers. I can take it with a grain of salt now or perhaps not because it cost me my job. perhaps I was starting to be a grumbler as I had been at “The Show”. When things aren’t going well I can be a grumbler just complain and get in the drama though in this case it’s not little teeny-bopper drama because I don’t know any better.

Today on the train I ran into one of my former colleagues at “fresh foods” and without telling him what happened with me I asked him how’s it going up there. My expectation – genuinely some positive changes – he simply said “same old bullshi*t”. The new regime hasn’t changed yet, the situation hasn’t settled down though he hopes it does for the best – to which I simply crossed my fingers and hoped for the best with him.

What I told him when he mentioned the B.S. is “this is why I’m gone!” though I wanted to emphasize that I had the best job of my life and I blew it. In doing my best to adjust to a difficult situation I still didn’t do my best to adjust to it. I was just another worker at the end of the day that mgmt had to let go. They were right I did place myself into that situation getting onto an attendance probation where I couldn’t be late for six months and it just had to be one more time – which was out of my hands.

I asked my former colleague about my replacement on receiving another colleague who wanted to learn about buying. My former colleague said he’s still doing receiving though they have him back and forth between the sales floor schedule-wise. Supposedly he was supposed to have been given a raise – just as I hoped to get the position of receiver and just like me – he evidently didn’t get it. The new boss who I’ll call Roger didn’t pull through and my colleague who’s a math nerd and a wrestling fan I’m sure told because he can be vocal.

Ao right now what about yours truly? Well I intend to reapply in six months. In light of what happened and how I feel about the new regime because of how it all ended I don’t know if I want to go back to that store assuming things haven’t settled down. It would be OK with me to apply at other stores than the one I had the chance to know. Thankfully I’m allowed the opportunity to return…

Now I do have my feelings about Roger and don’t intend to demonize him. I will say that after perhaps a month of him being the new dept. mgr. I realized that I wasn’t feeling him. Perhaps he had the same feeling about me. There’s a reason I don’t trust him and perhaps there’s a reason he doesn’t trust me.

If I couldn’t be on time, it gave him the ammunition. He may well have had a scrutinizing eye which I feel he had towards me at least. I also recognize that as a new mgr he had the right to make some changes and he made them. I could get on board or get out the way and to be sure some of those changes got me in the situation I was in.

perhaps I’ll talk about them more at length. this post had to be about me tonight! There are some lessons I need to learn from this, and I WILL figure it out!