Remember last year I ran into Deranged Barney. I don’t always write about him but he was something of a nuisance I had to work with at “The Show”. He was just an irrational person that a lot of people were “scared” of. He literally had some mental issues and for me it was a slow burn because I like to think people are who they say they are. In his case, he’s like the bully who has little issue sneaking up behind you and pulling down your gym shorts to reveal your tighty whities.
Now, DB doesn’t really factor today he’s just a guy whom it might be years until I run into him again. Bear in mind even after our “war” he still tried to friend request me on facebook almost two years after he got let go from the theater. And then was all too happy to see me just as I left work last year and my response was no response. He had been in my head for far too long and I needed him to stay out of it, even if perhaps our “war” had gone on far too long for him to just stop trying to say anything to me.
Well now to today’s version of DB, Anthony “the hustler”. One of the first people I contracted about Barn was the hustler. Before I said what happened he went into the whole spiel about “You really need to let that go”. Remember I hadn’t said anything about what happened other than “Guess who I ran into today?”. His response “D.B.?” which I think was him deciding it was the moment to mess with me. He does that and it’s too bad that he doesn’t realize that I don’t think that’s very funny and basically doing this at my own expense (as he always seems to seek a small infusion of cash).
My response to D.B. was considered cold and in spite of that unfortunate history, Anthony just didn’t understand my lack of interest in even being friendly with him. And to be fair he had argued in the past that D.B. was probably looking for a friend but in his deranged way he blew it. And probably in some of the same ways that Anthony should’ve blown it.
Let’s fast forward 15 months…
I think about this now, sometimes I wonder if Anthony thought the way that I did when I tried to talk about encountering Barn that eventually I’d do it to him. That perhaps one day I may just stop responding to “The Hustler” as I stopped really responding to Barn. It took me a few years to stop even talking about D.B. people got tired of it and rightfully Anthony was one of them only to start injecting him into our conversations.
For example one time when I left “The Show” and started working at “The Hole” Anthony starts asking weird hypothetical questions like “So how are you going to handle someone like a D.B.?” WTF? Where did that come from?
Anyway as you may have noted over several months my mind had shifted on Anthony. I thought of him as a friend. Now as a hustler and just remember how our relationship started off, no longer after starting at the theater and talking to each other the main turnoff at that point was he came up to me one night begging. And that pattern when I think about it really hasn’t changed. He comes up short, “Can I borrow some money?” He comes up short again “I need some money”.
Anyway a few days ago my mother and I was at a local home improvement store. It was time for us to check out and I decided to use the bathroom. I was leaving the bathroom and Anthony was just about to walk in and he sees me. At this point Anthony was in his security uniform which suggests to me that he’s on duty and likely left “Finer Foods”. Also Anthony has little issue job-hopping going from company to company. Although he has a strong interest in security for whatever reason.
As I walk out and he walks in, he motions me back out (Oh GOD I thought) and I’m leaving the bathroom anyway why is he trying to get us out in the open? Anyway, first question he asked “What are you doing here?” Though this wasn’t my exact answer it was really should’ve been “shopping”. I had to make sure he knew my mother was with me.
Then the classic “I’ve called you a couple of times and no answer“. This is a facepalm one, but this is classic, sometimes he just doesn’t understand that some people pull back because of his behavior. He’s done this before when I pulled back years ago, after he was so quick to beg for money. My response, “Call me tonight, seriously.” I fist bump him and walk away he accepts and trying to keep the conversation going lets me know that our mutual former mgr, HM – the House Mgr at ‘The Show” was there shopping (wait I thought he lived in Indiana).
Anyway he goes into the bathroom and to avoid any interactions with my mother I hurriedly got in line. I see Anthony walk through the front end area past the cashier lines. He probably was paying attention to what my mother and I were buying. I see him walk into the parking lot. I think he might have went to his company provided vehicle and point this out to my mother when we get to the car.
We had actually been talking about his “legend” if you will on the drive to the store. So I provided some more details she surmised that he had been watching me anyway. I tell her that we started talking when he started at the theater and we now both suspect he heard some “dog whistles” with regards to whether or not he can get some money off me. Whatever the case maybe we both realize he had an agenda in our relationship which he himself paints as a male mentor relationship while I try to view him as a friend. Of course thanks to his behavior he does the one thing he can’t help but do assert his dominance.
As I write this he never called me. I had been debating whether or not I should take his call even before running into him recently. I was leaning towards yes but only to “tell him off”. Of course what I realize about him is he won’t listen to what I’m telling him, he’ll just turn around and justify his actions. It’s almost as if me pulling back is my problem not his problem to put it simply.
Now this is why I would say he’s a nuisance. He’s set in his ways, he won’t read your reactions, he doesn’t seem to understand why I do it, and when he doesn’t understand he wants you to explain it to him. Sometimes he insists on going over things that really aren’t important anymore however for him is likely a psychological edge.
Once I told my mother I had run into him and told her the response from myself, she just said “He may surprise you”. I don’t know surprising me mean changing his behavior especially when it comes to me. Unfortunately I just don’t see that happening…