yellow bokeh photoEven though I told the “Petty” story often enough to a variety of people – in short hand or even in long form on this blog – I still go over it in my head. It’s considered the one time I really went toe-to-toe with a mgr. I consider this the greatest disagreement of all time and even worse both sides seemed to have dug in their heels even if it got resolved.

In the end the house manager insisted that Kelly said excuse me although in reality he’s putting words in her mouth, Kelly remains upset that I was being very rude (we ran into each other although she put her elbow in my chest which is something HM just decides to blow off), and me realizing that this is a blatant case of favoritism. What happened is that if Kelly wanted to turn this in an incident, I turned it into even more drama. This is what happens when you get someone so frustrated that now they have the opportunity to make a public scene which is what HM did. And with a mere look after going over common courtesy or what not in the office with the general manager involved with a mere look to his no. 2 I could guess where this could go and HM got defeated.

No need to rehash, the tricky thing about dealing with mgrs is to know when to escalate and then know to de-escalate. Even then it’s tricky because learning from my experience at ‘The Hole” last year for reasons unknown your mgr is seeking to butt heads with you anyway. Perhaps the mgr is wrong but yet their word is law and no matter if what they’re doing is goofy. They made the call and they may take the heat or find a way to make it an associate’s fault.

Now this leads me to the purpose of this post.  This week while out and about Anthony the hustler called me again. Seeing his name on my iPhone, I immediately put it back in my pocket. I try not to be on my phone in public, especially talking though I’m usually on my social media channels or web surfing. Either way because I’m continuing my black out, he surprisingly leaves a voicemail. This is the first time he actually called me since August and any other time no voicemail.

Remember that earlier this year, when he tried to call me from a new number after three calls he decides to send a txt saying “Call me” with nothing as far as who was txting me. I only asked who it was and he confirms and then he doesn’t get a call back after which he calls one more time with no answer. After that he’s tried other ways of getting back into touch with me a txt here and a phone call there.

Then remember last month he sees me at a local hardware store where surprise surprise he’s working security (he really likes security however he has the tendency to job-hop!). He still doesn’t understand the communications blackout. Then again I’ve allowed him the ability to come in and comment out of turn and try to determine my direction while also being such a treacherous leach looking for small infusions of cash.

And then earlier this week he had to call me leave a voice mail saying “Hey Jack, it’s Anthony. Give me a call back I have a question for you”. A vague voice mail and obviously his attempt to get the communication going again. What’s clear about this is ignoring him isn’t always so easy. Because of how I allowed that relationship to progress even after him walking into some no-go zones as far as my life and to beg.

I want to say that my goal with this post was to say that after somewhat cutting him out of my life have given me the longest period of peace since I started working with him. No more of his temper, his drama, or even his rather controlling paternal nature. I never really had to interact with family who displayed these tendencies, however, some family members display it. I’m not related to him and yet I’m like one of the young wayward members of his family and he thinks I need him.

I said once that I would take a call from him to tell him off. Well I had one chance and well I didn’t take it because in my mind it just wasn’t the right time. When I told him last month to call me that nite, he never did and for a few hours even turned the phone off so that during a brief period of time it would allow me to avoid his call. Then again he had his chance for a true explanation that he just as easily denied himself as I had also denied myself.

So now I’m in uncharted waters and similar to a brief snippet of what happened at “The Show” four years ago. In that case I outright clashed with a mgr and that whole incident should’ve gotten me fired back then. This time it’s a person whom in spite of the warning signs I allowed to think of as a friend. The warning signs continued and he got his wish of taking advantage when he comes up short. And now I realize that he’s one of those people you don’t want to make an enemy of and yet at the same time I can’t allow him to think he can take advantage of me.

Problem is, I’ve been successful in ignoring very rambunctious people especially someone like an Anthony who tends to be consistently persistent and then wants to know why I’m ignoring him. It takes time, however, such individuals tend to move on. In other cases they move on, but they have to take “get their licks back” because that’s what they do. And sometimes I can be as much of a problem for them even without having to drop any blows on them. How much can someone take until they eventually have to blow off some steam of their own?

So anyway, right now I just don’t know how to play Anthony. I don’t want to call him, because that re-establishes a relationship that for his own beneficial reasons he wants to continue. And his toxic sociopathic behavior will rear it’s ugly head again because that has been the pattern. And I still don’t have the peace that as I get older is more and more important to me.

I was very much better off without someone like an Anthony in my ear. He wants to get involved with my life and try to determine the direction. He wants to be over me in more ways than one. And as he tried to loom large over me proves himself to be the most materially neediest older man I have ever met. Hopefully I’ll have a positive end to this story, however, I’m just unsure and for now I’m simply a “non-participating player”. 😦

One thought on “Resolute?

  1. Pingback: Boundaries | Feeling No Love

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