At this point what I’m writing happened a little over two years ago.

man and woman holding heart boards

At a nearby Starbucks I met with a matchmaker whom I matched with on Tinder (you may call this my first online date but technically it wasn’t). It came out that she was a matchmaker as I chatted with her on Tinder and didn’t immediately recognize that she wasn’t that interested in yours truly. So I didn’t talk to her for a time and then decided, hey perhaps I should give this a chance.

We talked on the phone and then arranged to meet at a Starbucks later. Well this was an ordeal, the more we talked the more disappointed she seemed to get. Whatever images of me she got in her head well she threw those out of the window. I had no car and had little issue with public transit. I was educated, however, wasn’t living up to my full potential. She didn’t really like my job at a grocery store which she thought of as mostly young people working there – although there are quite a few older people working at a grocery store. So truth be told this was going to be a huge fail!

One of her questions was whether or not I was comfortable dealing with “professionals”. The reason I met with her was trying something new, however, it seems from her eyes it wasn’t working for the matchmaker. I suppose what I realize from my own ego is how yours truly doesn’t want to be seen as a “mistake”. I don’t want to be seen as an embarrassment, however, what didn’t help matters was she noticed my glasses were held up by putty because I couldn’t fix them and wasn’t ready to get a new Rx pair.

picard-facepalmNeedless to say, this matchmaker decided from what she heard (I never told her I never had sex, but I did admit it’s been years since I’ve dated a blatant lie – her reply “That’s not normal“) I wasn’t ready. She offered coaching free of charge because it was unlikely that I could afford her rates. However, I had decided that I was at the point where I could actually afford to make some changes to my personal life.

The way I saw it I had a good job even if it was a grocery store – couldn’t say this while I working at “The Show” the matchmaker would definitely say “OH HELL NO!” I thought at the time and this was months before running into that guy (whom we’ll note later this month) at “The Hole” that my prospects for future growth would be good. I believed and still do that things could get better for yours truly financially and professionally with “Fresh Foods”. But to the matchmaker it wasn’t good enough and I needed further refinement.

This was during the time that my mother had gotten out of the hospital for her condition which had developed during the previous year. She was at home and not ready to return to work and she had no idea what I was doing that day other than wanting me to go to the store for her. Unfortunately my willingness to work with this matchmaker ended once this unforeseen event happened…

My mother’s job got effectively eliminated once her bank had been taken over by regulators. Her bank had failed and thus was turned over to new ownership. Listening to my mother talk there had been some turmoil, but I never expected this to happen. In the long term what this means is that she’ll be home more and effectively she’s retired. She was already suffering some health challenges that forced her to go under the knife the previous year and now her job went bust.

That’s what helped me change my mind on working with the matchmaker. If I was truly living on my own, I think I’d have tried to work with her. Some of the things I did while my mother was at work, aren’t so easy to do anymore now that she’s retired. Especially if she’s worried about how long I’ll be out.

As far as the matchmaker I’m sure she wiped me from her memory once I ghosted. Even ran into her on Bumble recently, but I swiped left and kept it moving. And strangely I found her on facebook as one of Anthony’s many friends so who knows about the nature of that relationship if at all – and why hasn’t he found that special someone through her?

I don’t think I’ll ever seek out a matchmaker ever again, however, I still need some new options as far as dating. Obviously it remains up to me as far as meeting that special woman. Better yet I need to become that special man.

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