Manifestation

A recurring theme it seems to talk about letting things go only to further talk about it some more. Some of the events at work and talking about this with my mother regarding what happened almost two years ago has me re-evaluating the events that were the “Reign of Error“.

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My mother who has experience in corporate environments hears a story of a change agent who’s time as a dept manager was expected to be brief. That’s how she might describe /goofball without being in the situation herself. She might be on the right track he definitely became a change agent, on the other hand with most of the folks that I worked with at the Hole mostly agree they knew it wouldn’t last long. They also mostly agree he just didn’t know what he was doing.

Another thing I had gotten stuck on is either his “strange campaign” against me was personal (i.e removing me from buy/receive under strange reasoning) or I might view my firing differently if I had a different mgr or even a different relationship with Rog. Well I have no reals answer as far as that to be honest, however, all I can say was as much as I may consider what happened bull$h!t it was legit unfortunately. It just had to be him who made the call and his bosses backed him.

Some colleagues at my current assignment suggested it was time to let that go. Because of recent events at work with Peg it had also caused me to re-evaluate some things. For what happened with Peg the thought turned to what happened with her. That was the more pressing thing of that moment especially the events before or after her hiring. I could compare her attitude even if it was an extreme to that of /goofball.

One of my colleagues even suggested that whatever happened back then I could just say “F#¢k them”. The way I see it now, if I did have that attitude I may never have returned to the company. I wanted to return and while my message even now has often been a job is nothing more than a means to an end I felt that returning allowed me to finish what I started. Mainly I hadn’t finished growing although who does finish growing. I had some goals in mind that were there once I got going at Fresh Foods so I wanted to “right my wrong” and just not allow that momentary setback to deter me.

Remember these days at work I make in wages a tad more than I had when I left in ’17. Also I own a share of stock in the conglomerate that owns Fresh. I’d say I consider these years at the grocery store to be essentially my big money years. These had been better years than what I had spent at The Show. No one can ever take that away from me and thankfully I have a good wad of cash stashed away.

I had allowed that to sidetrack me. I suffered a momentary setback and it caught me off guard. He may have wanted to sink me, however, the case was made by yours truly – yeah Jack don’t be late. Through testimonies from a variety of people I see that Rog definitely did have a really odious personality.

Since I was told by someone who had the misfortune of working with him even briefly before he got promoted to a dept manager his info is as simple as he had a massive ego. He also was inadequate at what he was doing and still projected this image of being a know it all. He wanted everyone to think he had it all figured out until it turns out he had very little clue about the job. I still feel as if at some point in his six months as a dept mgr he got exposed.

Another thought had occurred to be once I returned to the company last year. What if I eventually got /goofball’s old job? What if he remained at the company and somehow I was over him in a reversal of fortunes?

With this said I had wished for my own version of that moment when in Batman Begins Lucious Fox is starting a board meeting effectively letting the jilted Wayne Enterprises CEO that he was unceremoniously dismissed. I probably won’t get that moment and even then I recognize that when I do finally reach the dept mgmt level the last thing he would even be thinking about is yours truly. He might yawn at the idea of my own ascension to a role he seemed to have been forced to step down from.

That’s the image I need to have in my mind at this point. Perhaps I need to forget about the idea that if he does even think about yours truly that he’d be upset if I take on the role where he essentially failed. The ultimate revenge would be to get that level and even more sweet actually succeeding. However, I realize that it’s possible that I could also fail in spite of that potential motivation.

The bottom line as far as moving up at Fresh Foods and thinking about that period is I only can do this for me. It benefits me, I could be consumed by whatever wrong that could think had been done to yours truly. However at the end of the day, I still have to prove to myself that I can ultimately move beyond the types of roles that I had been hired for. And of course that includes mgmt positions at Fresh Foods.

I suppose that’s the manifestation that must happen. The manifestation must be that I can handle new roles whatever they may be that comes may way. I have to motivate myself but not at anyone else’s expense to do better for myself…

Alas I got a few more posts on this as we’re approaching the two year anniversary already. I don’t believe I teased a while back that my last days at the Hole and what led up to that could be a future post I still want to let time elapse on that. However, I have a few more stories to tell about that if I’m in the mood.

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