Why I had to go my own way?

You know I don’t really know how you might view my writings of women. Based upon say my stories of my dealings with women I would wonder if you’ve concluded that I just don’t do well with them.

Were there some situations that could’ve blossomed into something? Perhaps there were and for the right reasons. Definitely not because the woman in question chased me down. I could also note I’ve had someone essentially chase me down and it was more of an ordeal than I realized in the long run which didn’t involve a woman just a man who decided to be a “father figure“.

There were some situations where I was just a brick wall and one woman’s attempt to break it down was to keep trying. Strangely enough in their exercise in some form of futility it fell short and regardless I get looked at as a guy who blew it. Definitely not as a guy who knew what he wanted and whom he wanted do anything with.

I could say there were situations that I read wrong and it just didn’t go very well. It was a brick wall for me and there was very little I could do about it. I suppose if some woman became determined to say “Oh hell no” to yours truly there was no amount of charm I could utilize to really turn it around.

I’ve realized how strange attraction is. It just doesn’t take much for a woman to just decide she’s not into someone. So back when I was young and figuring out how to connect (some could say I won’t try) I knew it didn’t take much for a woman to just move on. I had to be told belatedly that some young women (say teenaged girls) will just flock to a man who gives them attention. At the same time they give the go ahead signals to the ones they want to approach them.

So I just want to say, that as far as going my own way it’s less about how I think women are just terrible creatures only worthy of scorn. I’m just trying to lessen the pressure of wanting wife and kids, my thinking now is it will happen when it happens. As far as getting that better job with six figures it’s something I do have to make a play for and finding that good woman isn’t much different. Both are hard and perhaps one is much harder than the other.

Regardless I’ve not given up yet, but realize that I’m still that overgrown teenaged boy who hadn’t much success with the opposite sex. Perhaps I’m stunted by what it takes for a woman to pay attention to you, and scary still is the woman who does after years of trying. The question that could pop into my mind when the unthinkable happens is, “What next?”

Then again who thought the Cubs would finally win a world series by now…

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