$h!tshow

You know I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while on here. It would’ve been perfect during the unrest over three years ago but then I hadn’t thought about it until recently.

So roughly during the winter/spring 10 years ago while at The Show, I was made aware of an allegation against one of our senior mgrs. I’m going to give him a moniker – Jacques – but let’s start with his hair style often resembled the style sported by The Beatles during their peak. He was a bit high strung and tight, very flamboyant in his behavior, he almost reminded me of the maitre’d on the TV program Hell’s Kitchen.

Jacques had allegedly (I never witnessed this) been overheard talking with another mgr – the one referred to as the HBIC we might discuss her further one day – and out of nowhere stated “I’m going to go watch these monkeys“. That is a statement that should’ve gotten him fired and potentially gotten her in trouble. I don’t know how many witnesses there were, however, I do know one of those stated witnesses had been let go in a “theft ring” at the cinemas back then.

If you want to know how I became aware of it, Anthony pulled me aside to let me know about it. I’m not sure why he opted to let me in on it. At one point I called it “drama” and he objected essentially to my use of that term in that situation. This incident allowed him to further his narrative about how The Show and its owners are both unfair and racist.

Of course the next question now becomes how exactly did he get involved with this? Anthony tends to talk to everyone so it probably started that way. Perhaps as even a loud mouth and cantankerous he may well have knowledge of the internal HR process of companies and he might have been a good resource to lean on. However, he may well have his own agenda in stirring this up. As you might know I don’t entirely believe everything he says anymore so now I just take a lot of what he told me with regards to this incident with a grain of salt.

His first move was to bring this to the attention of the GM who seemed to be glad to know about this as he tells it. Anthony later showed me a letter regarding this and when thinking about it is not clear who wrote the letter. Knowing how he texts the letter was far more professional than he could really write. I know this because during this time he had me type emails to those businesses or people he wanted to do business with. I don’t know if this coworker wrote this letter either. Regardless whoever produced this letter it was addressed to the GM, the HR person, and The Show’s company executives. It would be amazing that if this incident actually hadn’t happened that he had someone else outside of this situation to write this letter.

However, according to him he got blown off by the GM upon asking for an update and promised to cause some trouble in some way. He claims to know people although who he knows and who might actually follow-up is another question. Anthony told me later that the House Manager updated him that Jacques had been suspended for two-weeks without pay. The explanation was more or less a matter of them knowing Jacques for so many years and this wasn’t known to the employees because we really weren’t supposed to know. Again, this is something he should’ve been fired for and instead it’s a slap on the wrist. He lasted almost another two years – not too long after I had left – before he himself moved on from The Show.

With this said, if this happened did Jacques say he was going to watch these monkeys? Was it possible he was misheard or even his statement misconstrued? Well in 20/20 hindsight the man was a d!ck and was very loose with his words. I’ve witnessed this a few times myself with employees and a security guard noted how Jacques went at it with a customer using sarcasm. So if this incident happened, it was possible that he said what he said. Like a few mgrs up there he was unconcerned about what came out of his mouth and how it came out of his mouth though he wasn’t as flagrant as his colleagues as the HBIC

The coworker who allegedly reported this got promoted to supervisor almost a year later and she lasted in that role for roughly two years though as I had since moved on only she knows when exactly she did so. However, she herself was reported as a snake and was said to have a hand in the dismissal of another supervisor, my old coworker Keith. Still I just wonder why she was willing to work under someone (basically a supervisor works under a senior mgr) who showed very clear contempt for the workers. Although in all reality if Jacques did use such language and this coworker bears that in mind when accepting a promotion it was a relatively brief time anyway.

You know I don’t want to characterize all The Show’s mgmt as unprofessional there were some who were cool or even fair. Those were the exceptions more often than not. And unfortunately I often forget about the ones who called it as close to the middle as possible. Unfortunately I do remember the ones who I felt were unfair or just with a hair trigger temper looking to take their frustrations on someone or even just to throw under the bus.

Mr. Boastful update

You know I’ve been having trouble finding a topic of discussion beyond me changing jobs (actually transferring changing jobs within the company). Perhaps this is the perfect time to talk about some loose ends.

Last month I wrote about a character I refer to as Mr. Boastful. Sometime in the fall after being a buyer/receiver for over four years about, he got bumped down to a cook. He had transferred stores twice during that period. He was officially a team receiver for over a year at The Hole, and then for over two years he was a buyer at a store I will refer to as Flagship 1 and then he moved onto be a buyer at another store Flagship 2. And then after maybe about four months his job title changed to cook.

I’m on the outside looking in so at Flagship 2, I can’t say what happened only Mr. Boastful knows. I can conjure up a story in my head and say this move didn’t quite work out for him. Perhaps it wasn’t going to work out for him for long if he maintained his outspoken attitude which is why I call him Mr. Boastful.

I gave a quick sequence of events over time starting in about 2017. I can tell you that once the Reign of Error commenced with our boss Ruthless Roger and he was starting to make changes or moves, Mr. Boastful was right there paying attention. Being an opportunist, seeing a potential opportunity, basically waiting for yours truly to fail so that he can take advantage. Once a requisition for a position did come up and I got hit with that attendance probation I couldn’t go for it and it immediately comes out that he applied.

And here was the real problem I had with his behavior during that period of time. It’s not so much that he was going to get the position that I had, it was that he was very much into rubbing it in on yours truly. He was essentially gloating about this and that was my problem the more he just insisted on doing so. Couple that with him starting to talk $h!t about it way before he got into that position.

I feel as if there was a lot of uncertainty during that period of time which started to hit me in some ways with the tardiness – all of it unintentional however those issues had built up long before the summer. And also Rog’s need to be very by the book by his measures which unfortunately made that issue much worse for yours truly. This is why I call this era the Reign of Error, not so much because of any errors by yours truly – though I could say I make a lot of “tactical errors” – it’s because the main error was this fool was allowed to live up to his level of incompetence.

Anyway, I suppose Mr. Boastful’s boorish behavior has lasted in my mind. And I got one more piece of news for you as far as that goes, he’s no longer with the company. I looked for his name and couldn’t find him on the company’s social network. My best theory on that – if I held to my own narrative – is that he didn’t want to be cook. For someone who had proven himself to be very ambitious and cocky I could see him viewing being a cook as a step down from where he wanted to be. I believed that the move that happened at Flagship 2 wasn’t something he really wanted. From what I recall he never expressed interest in being a cook, whenever he pursued other positions when I worked with him he wanted to be a supervisor although he sort of quieted down on that once he started doing the buy/receive.

I also consider now what my motivations were at the time when I took on the role. Was this something I really wanted? My goal was to make mgmt at the time. Also I never really learned numbers which is what’s necessary to do buying. I did have product knowledge though I didn’t know about all the products of the dept or even how much product the dept needed to make whatever the dept needed to sell. I feel as if I didn’t get the education that Mr. Boastful – whom I felt put on a show to illustrates how much he wanted this – actually sought out.

So while I didn’t like his behavior I’ll have give it to him that he got what he sought out. He clearly played the game, I would dare say he outplayed me however in his need to talk he had to let me know what’s up. It worked for a while, though I wonder if he somehow did himself in ultimately.

Either way I might have looked at this practically like I didn’t have to deal with customers of course that changed. And also consider I’ve had other opportunities that didn’t work out for me at the new store and even in a new dept. Perhaps on my end something was missing in both recent cases. Thankfully it wasn’t a case of “unfriendly competition” perhaps just a case of I just came up short anyway.

I suppose if I was still attempting to pursue such positions in the future, perhaps I need to evaluate whether or not these are opportunities worth pursuing. These are added responsibilities which it seems I haven’t been able to show that I can handle. And as stated it’s very easy to be comfortable and complacent and I’m getting too old for that. Something has got to give even if that means I want to leave Fresh Foods in the near future as I made the move to Flagship 3.

So, I have some serious thinking to do. Will an opportunity open up for me at my new store? Will I prepare myself adequately for that role and for the interview? And how do I address someone who is very willing to challenge me in every way once I get into such a position? I would never do it anyone to be honest even if I knew someone was doing a $h!t job, however, it’s more stressful when someone decides to do it to yours truly.

I think this month I will skip discussing the Streak Era and talk more about that period next month. Also I may cover the story involving the Fiend and Greta next month. One topic I’ve been trying to figure out how to write is the idea of losing your temper at work. So perhaps this article will be the last posting for this month.

How has 2023 been for you all so far?

I know I’ve been talking about The Show a lot

Those who have followed this blog since the beginning have observed one thing I have very negative feelings about my time at The Show. And yes my goal is to refrain from using the negative terms $h!tplace and $h!tshow in this posting so these will be the only references therein.

All the same one of the pieces of dirt that the Fiend offered to another former coworker about yours truly was that I was the worst worker at the cinema. Now what I know now is that this wasn’t an uncommon sentiment and my view of it is that perhaps most of this wasn’t always based on what they think of me as a worker I would dare say they didn’t like me more than my own performance. Back then it would have bothered me, these days I’d be likely to say it was a sign that it was time to move on. Of course as I’ve been marking the start of the Streak Era in recent months I’m allowing that stream of thought.

The bottom line is that while I’m more upset about the Fiend’s insistence on sharing negativity about yours truly and in light of the fact that I’ve essentially cut ties to him, my time at The Show was almost a decade ago. Basically he’s talking about issues and stories that are old news, I would expect whoever else held those opinions aren’t thinking much about me anymore. Perhaps more glad that yours truly left the scene than any issues they felt that I had. Still, as far as I’m concerned I really shouldn’t have to continue answering for them.

In my opinion that’s sour grapes on his end. Granted I’ve been discussing my side of the story here on this blog and for him my stories are based on some aspects of his behavior  or even his statements – which isn’t beyond reproach by any means. However, I have my story and perhaps he feels compelled to respond and do so in such a way which I do believe are nothing more than personal attacks as opposed to the truth. My only goal in this is to tell my truth and hopefully nothing that’s written about the Fiend are seen as personal attacks on him. My goal is to stay logical in ways that he really isn’t.

With that said, perhaps it’s rare that I had anything nice to say about the cinemas where I had worked for close to five years. It’s hard to believe it’s over 8 years since I left. Perhaps my mind is still processing what happened up there and while many who worked with me may have their own negative views of my as a coworker I could also say a lot about many of them. In the long run it doesn’t matter to me and yeah I do have some views about the place that are somewhat positive.

For one thing it was a very easy gig and to go back to the theme of comfort and complacency. You knew what your role was and how you was set up to do your role. Of course as might be my own issue with the place sometimes they didn’t set you up very well, maybe even set you up to fail and make it your fault. At the same time it wasn’t as if I was working a job that was particularly difficult say I was an accountant or a physicist or even a plumber. A a former friend once stated it was a cake walk, however, there are others who can’t help but make it an ordeal. Something simple turned into major drama.

I’ve been talking about how you run into those annoying bossy types who have a concept of what needs to be done and sort of have enough of a personality to make everyone bow to them. My ways of handling that are a bit mixed as far as success, however, those are the people I’m leery of. Worse still are those who really don’t know what they’re doing who still insist on being bossy. I try to ignore those people of course if something does affect me I might say something and get a cold shoulder.

Also have I had issues with customers yes, however, there were regular customers who were like old friends. Sometimes I wonder how many of them are now. Although I have to remember these aren’t exactly long term friendships they know me because at some point in the past I waited on them and hopefully provided a great experience.

Another thing I sometimes miss is being able to break into an auditorium to watch a movie. I did that often and unfortunately that could be a sore point for those coworkers who want to say I’m not doing any work. We had a VIP balcony and sometimes I might be in there watching a movie, not the whole film of course but just taking a break from the job. Of course we did get passes although I rarely used them, my escape was to go to another theater even if I had to pay. I really liked going to the National Theater Chain to watch a movie.

Now if it wasn’t for my many negative memories The Show itself was a wonderful place to watch a picture. A bar and lounge with food made in a kitchen in addition to a concession stand with typical cinema fare such as popcorn, hot dogs, or candy. A space that was nicely designed, its inviting as a customer. However, what hopefully has happened in the eight years after leaving my employment there is now it can be a great place for people to work. I hear it’s a better place for customers now just better organized, better mgmt.

Now if some of what’s written about The Show seemed to be mgmt didn’t like me as much as sometimes it was the coworkers all that can be said is it was time to go. My goal in the long run near the end was to find a job and quit, that goal was achieved. No one pushed me out although someone probably wanted me pushed out. While the job that I accepted didn’t work out for me in the long run which lead to another run that I really don’t regret, to leave The Show was the right call back in the day. That time had come.

I will also add that I do find myself wondering where would I be today if I had been very serious about finding a real job after college. Say not having to work for minimum wage when it was time to find a job. And perhaps one thing worth proving is that I can hold onto a job for any length of time. Most of my other jobs before this was temporary in nature, a month here, a week there, a couple of weeks here. My head was on lasting a few years on a job.

However, it seems even after almost a decade after leaving The Show I’m still trying to figure out my work situation. What does it take to reach the next level?

Change, comfort, and complacency

I’m thinking this will be the last post for this month and around the first of next month I will share another installment with regards to the Streak Era. Perhaps this post will somewhat lead into what that post will be about.

Anyway lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my time at The Show. Sometimes the negative feelings crop up but then I go back to the time I’m living in currently. Perhaps my time there at “The $h!tshow” lead me to the time I’m living in currently.

This month has proven to be a significant month in recent history. And one significance of this month was finally finding a job to leave The Show. I know it can’t be stressed this month eight years ago my decision was to finally leave the cinema behind. My nightmare was to still be working there up to my fifth anniversary there and left behind by people I had considered allies. Not all of them were however also note that changes were going on around me and I was stuck.

That changed when Gotham Bank finally handed me a job offer. And while I was somewhat apprehensive, I accepted the offer and decided it was time to leave. I could’ve stayed, perhaps there was a wish they would insist that I shouldn’t leave. Some of my coworkers were emphasizing that perhaps keep this job and work at the bank to make more money. My answer to that was fcuk this place.

Aside from the trial as a bank teller for almost a month and a half I’m better off moving on. It was time to go, I had to show that I could find another job and move on from mgmt who in trying to admonish me tried to make it seem like that job was such a better deal compared to others. That sounds like the sales pitch of someone who probably was themselves miserable at The $h!tshow.

Anyway the main goal of the Streak Era was to find another job. In October 2014 that goal was finally achieved and it leads me to another era which lasted until October 2017. During that month yours truly faced the Climax of the Reign of Error at the Hole. The end of the Streak Era was what I was working towards, however, the “Climax” was unexpected. That moment represented the unexpected loss of a job that had given me great confidence after the trial at both Gotham briefly and The Show long term.

Specially with The Show and the Hole the ongoing issue was comfort and complacency. I had comfort at The Show, the drama was draining yet I was comfortable. Not comfortable with the drama nor the compensation though the situation. I knew who were likely against me and for the most part who were for me. From mgmt to coworkers, and the people who created issues I tried to avoid them with varying degrees of success. By the time of my departure it seemed nothing was ever going to go in my direction. Perhaps someone up there wanted me out for reasons really unknown to me other than perhaps I ticked them off or just because it was the easiest thing they could do.

Perhaps they were just shocked that I had found a job and had finally opted to put in my two-weeks notice aka my victory lap. Who knows they weren’t keeping me around and I was taking this important step to move forward to take on a much better role. Perhaps take up a bump in pay and the opportunity to take on some benefits. I could stay and hope for the best, however, what if things don’t change for the better.

As for the Hole I would call that a case of complacency. What I didn’t expect to happen did. And as with The Show what happened here also involved mgmt. However, I have to own my part of it. They made my attendance an issue and there was a mgmt change and for the person I’ve often referred to “Ruthless” on this blog was not someone I could ever do right with. And let me just say with what happened to him later I can laugh somewhat about the climax later.

Another thing I might note that I was blocked from doing what I hoped to do during that rather difficult year as it turned out. I had someone hanging around looking for an opportunity and essentially waiting for me to fail and rubbed it in once I did. That was complacency and it hit me hard and it bounced me back out of a place that I latched onto after going through leaving The Show and losing my job at that bank.

The primary lesson here is if you’re unhappy about your situation it’s up to you to do something about it. Standing around won’t change your situation and hoping for the best won’t insure that it won’t turn out for the best. Also never be too comfortable or complacent. Never assume that your “position” will not be challenged.

Both working to change your situation and not being comfortable or complacent are very difficult tasks but necessary. This is why I wrote this post.

I depended on someone else with whom I really wasn’t on the same page to deliver me a position to leave The Show. At the end of the day I have to do most of the work and not only did they leave it to me to do the work they worried me about things I really had no interest in. They admonished me as if I failed in whatever I do like….wait for it….a disappointed father. Their keen interest didn’t result in a job offer and their advice and following it to the letter also didn’t result in a job offer.

And I hope that in looking for a better position I won’t do as a colleague had done once things started to turn for me. I won’t hope someone fails and that I’ll blow it up once they do. However, I want the best opportunity for me to open up and even if it doesn’t go my way I hope for the best for others. It’s not worth rubbing in someone’s face their own mistakes.

And of course if I’m not happy try very hard to execute any potential plan to move forward and make a change. You don’t have to be stuck somewhere that you’re no longer happy and never assume that out of nowhere the situation just won’t change for the worst.

As for the next Streak Era post, I will discuss the plan for that period of time. What was I working on in the long run? Did my initial plan work? See you in November!

Current

Recently at work a bus driver asked me at random, “How long have you worked here?” I thought about it and stated four years. At first I was thinking he was asking me about possibly working for the transit authority he’s with now. Instead he asked by name whether or not I’m familiar with a person there, I said no.

And there it is this month in 2018 is my four year milestone with my current location at Fresh Foods. It was an interesting start of this yet another era which essentially ended the Reign of Error. And got a few accomplishments along the way Associate of the Week, two perfect secret shops, and almost got promoted. Changed departments, witnessed the start and aftereffects of a worldwide pandemic.

Been an interesting four years.

Let me start with one thing here, the two men who hired me in 2018. Well they’re both no longer with the company. In fact one of them the store manager who spoke with me on a wet and rainy Saturday in 2018 got fired for reasons unknown. I feel like near the end I was $h!t to him although we hardly really interacted as time moved forward before his somewhat unexpected departure.

There was one odd incident where he came up to me very strongly and let me know of a customer complaint against me claiming I didn’t serve them and just went to the back. It wasn’t too long after I got back from a 15 min break. All I could say was I didn’t notice or paid no attention, he said OK sounds good and the last shot was “And next time be MORE HELPFUL!”

A colleague then connected that exchange with a young lady who worked with us in that period. I saw her when I came back to the dept she came to the store mgr seemingly upset. Little did I know that it had something to do with me. According to the colleague when I went on break things got busy and she got very frustrated by that so perhaps there was a complaint from a customer or perhaps she exaggerated things. Either way she decided to behave in an erratic way and I say this because it came out later that she didn’t mind announcing that she came to work high to other coworkers.

Hmm don’t know how I feel about that you’re high and you work with knives. Anyway I wasn’t too happy with her once I found out, she pretended not to notice or even said much about whatever got her upset to me. She chose to be a snake in that instance and about a week later she was no longer there. Her shifts were up for people to pick up, I also learned that she had a difficult time coming into work calling out once too often. One colleague later said, she just shot herself in the foot.

My primary report our dept mgr well mixed bag. I won’t say much about him because he gave me an opportunity. I feel as if things went downhill with him and it’s what sent me to another dept once the pandemic was in full swing. For one thing yeah sales weren’t what they needed to be to keep everyone where they were. Of course since it seems I couldn’t come back from lunch without a lecture on how I need to talk to leadership if there is a staggering of lunches during peak periods and perhaps some other issues. It took me some time to realize it probably wasn’t working anymore. I was stuck!

Feedback I got from former colleagues about our former dept mgr talked about not very good rapport, they butted heads, he was sort of a my way type, he was fake, another colleague told me that his ability to make more money to take on more shifts were curtailed by that dept mgr – even referred to him as an @$$hole although he wanted to like him as a person. And I do remember that he had a recognition, a positive one being the nicest guy at the store, however, I’ve seen the stern side and hear that he displayed that with others.

Another piece of feedback was from someone who actually worked in the mgmt office with him and stated that while he seemed like a nice guy he had difficulty even having tough conversations with people. Even noted a very passive aggressive streak in him. My only comment to the passive aggressive thing was to say that’s not a good trait for a manager which he agreed.

With that said whatever was going on with both, they’re no longer with the company. And possibly with the store mgr whatever got him separated it probably won’t ever allow him to return to the company. Though I do know he’s got an electronics degree so perhaps he can still use that with his extensive mgmt experience.

As for yours truly I got another raise and very close to realizing my goal of lasting somewhere as long as I had at The Show – almost five years. So the deal is, I’m not sure I’ll stay about my current location for another year. Perhaps for a bit longer I may remain with Fresh Foods, however, this is the time for me to be a bit restless. It’s very easy to just sit still and remain complacent however there are other milestones yet for me to accomplish. Perhaps I can still accomplish them at Fresh or try something else at some point though there is no better time than the present.

Another Fresh store is opening soon, well actually it’s a relocation. That store is actually moving to much larger digs in the near future. Hopefully there will be some opportunities there for me in the future, and as I still hope for some opportunities at the Hole as stated a few months ago it’s just time for me to let them go for now.

I met my mother’s accountant for the first time. Whenever the door rang my mother decided to start using the bathroom. And I find myself answering the door, especially when my mother lets me know she’s expecting the tax man.

He started mentioning that he has a grandchild who’s in law school and gave me info on a local institution that accepts on a rolling basis and told me that I need to take an LSAT. Well OK, not I can put my college degree to use although in this case go back to school. It’s something I’ve been thinking about and who cares if I work at a grocery store. This could springboard me to where I needed to be.

Something I will look into as I attempt to look towards the future.

Earlier this month I said it was time to move on from the Fiend and yet it seems I can’t help but vent. So I may have something later just want to write something that’s readable. Perhaps go back to last month’s post about respecting my body and dating and even children. I still have thoughts to share on that.

Beyond that I hope you’ve had a fantastic spring.

New beginnings, maybe?

I’ve really been struggling to write this post for a while and then again it seems also very easy. For one I wanted to create something of a conclusion with regards to the Fiend and perhaps you already know this. There really isn’t one other than one less stress off my plate. I also know this post near the end will be all over the place.

I’ve often written that after writing about my situationship since 2018 the story is really repetitive in my world well he is the Fiend. I don’t want to rehash too much of who he is, what I have to cop to how it all fell into place for him. Made it so easy until my own situation changed unexpectedly in 2017. And his attempts at contact in my mind shows anything from he took me for granted as I had my role and he wasn’t quite ready to let go. His role was a lot more outsized and had no real results for me other than  what benefited him.

I often said if I got the opportunity to tell him off, it’s likely yours truly will only stress myself out. Its believable it’s also like I’ve stated about another odious character Deranged Barney I’ve only stooped to his level. I won’t be very proud of myself if I do that. When I think about it the easiest thing is to avoid taking his phone calls in person is another issue and I had one of those once I commenced my blackout.

I said once that I wanted to discuss the last episode at work with D.B. The Fiend just thought it was so funny to just randomly bring up that troubled soul when we were still talking. I think in doing that he knew exactly what he was doing, perhaps he was going for a reaction. In my head, it was really a convo killer and that’s not to say I’m not guilty of the same still it was one way to kill a simple convo. I know his stance on me talking about him, however, he justifies it if I object.

Regardless, I don’t know if I ever want to tell the story as in the past I had promised although my only response is that it was a regret. D.B might have been very proud of that last night before he got let go from The Show. However, other than possibly losing my job that night about a decade ago what would I have lost. Perhaps I’d be job hunting, though hopefully something would come along. What I wish I knew back then was the stagnation wasn’t changing, perhaps me being sent packing along w/ D.B. could have been a blessing inn disguise. Instead I was still there and D.B. rightfully was sent packing and later showed how little control he had over himself.

One thing I can say about him now is not to call him a douche boy or an idiot is that I recognize he’s just troubled. Something happened in his background that has turned him into that character who when he runs into me is often caught grinning or more frequently greeting me boisterously or running up to me for a response of some sort. To be honest, I already had to face the real threat and while D.B. wanted to break down the door with a sledgehammer the Fiend just opened the door with the right angle.

Either way that just has to be old news, this is what I have to tell myself. Perhaps one day I find my purpose in life and that episode resurfaces. One can only cross that bridge when it happens. What happened has…

Also during the Reign of Error and through the Climax I wrote a number of stories about my encounters at the place I formerly call $H!tplace. The most galling one is the episode Petty. A few realizations of that.

• I seem to have little issues deferring to authority figures. Arguing with them is dangerous and it seems I can’t help but run into the types who wants to believe you’re utterly incompetent. Perhaps you can’t fight and win at work, however, one thing is certain. They can be wrong someone might have told them a fake story and they’re quick to believe it. They have their own issues and in some cases they lost their jobs as a result, it causes me to wonder how they rose through the ranks.
• In the case of the House Manager or H.M. I realize that in his need to be correct and right and cater to a bratty young woman he failed to de-escalate the situation. That’s a nice word isn’t it of course it could be much harsher like shut that bull$h!t on down! Either way I feel as if that was the primary reason it sort of worked in my favor. And I realize I could’ve hit him with an even more wilder accusation, rather glad that I hadn’t could make that worse.

With that said I could’ve accepted that and moved on and perhaps gotten more of it. Or even as another coworker even stated plainly say excuse me because that would be easiest and quickly only to get more of it. That’s just one way to look at it, however, I didn’t get hit with that again and still have to encounter resistance to young women who for whatever reason just didn’t respect you. Perhaps it’s just the inmates running the asylum and glad to have walked out free and wasted time with angst over that.

I think about where my life is now. Money isn’t everything, but the money has been much better and it makes a difference. Still one thing I worry about is what’s next for me. What’s my purpose in this life?

You know what sucks. How does one find their purpose if they don’t where to look. Let’s go back full circle, the Fiend was trying to be part of the process. What I think happened was that he wanted me in his direction for his own purposes. Is that the right purpose?

Finally I just had to add that I didn’t have a real vision. That led to someone like the Fiend coming in and throwing around his own vision. And they way I see it now that vision wouldn’t get me anywhere. My mother hoped I make it in banking and when I tried it, I had a sense of relief the morning I got a pink slip. If I dont have my own vision someone else will create their own for me and perhaps I won’t like that vision.

A desperate 42-year-old virgin

Desperate 42-year-old virgin

I just discovered this article and found this article interesting. It causes me to have a few questions alas this is over four years old at this point. I laud this young lady’s Christian values and her holding to them and she’s dated in the past, however, fell into the issue of cheating. It causes me to wonder why she stayed single.

As far as this younger boyfriend she met, we never know how old he was. At the same time we know from a previous relationship he has two children. However, at 42 years of age she doesn’t want to stay single and desires to have her own children. The clock is ticking though I would dare say being in her 40a is very hard for pregnancy.

I have a first cousin who has a house full of her own children and married. Her last pregnancy wasn’t too far before she herself turned 40 and not long after giving birth she had to return to the hospital for those dreaded complications. I’m finding in my own research that there are risks in pregnancy after the age of 35 for women and my own conventional wisdom is after 40 pregnancy is either unlikely or with risk of complications for both mother and child.

Of course let me swing this conversation to this 41 year old virgin who finally had a child.

And her family is judging her on it. She evidently isn’t a Catholic and they don’t want her to date her fiance who is a Catholic. So they rather her remain lonely till she finds someone they like. I think if they think there is a potential partner who is a problem I don’t think they’re wrong to bring it to her attention.

At the same time I agree with the columnist, she has to live her life and especially after her parents may leave this earth. When they’re gone she has to live with her decisions good or bad. Perhaps they need to butt out knowing what she desires especially with a down to the wire ticking bio-clock.

As far as my own history, I hope my folks would look at a potential match and tell me if it’s good or bad. I really would like to find a compatible match hopefully much younger so that I can still have children. However men don’t have a bio-clock many of us can go as long as our bodies will allow us. 😛

I’ve thought about getting with a single mother but hopefully she has one child and wants to have more children. On the other hand being a step-parent just doesn’t appeal to me so I don’t know about that anymore.

I would like to figure out how to meet younger women at the same time my issue is getting into the game. Also I feel as if it’s not wise to view women at work with amorous intent as that opens you up to charges of harassment. Actually some young women I’ve met are definitely guilty of such behavior but no one will call them out as easily.

What I have settled on at least is that I would like to find a professional woman who is ready to settle down and have children, ideally between 25 to 35. And knowing me I don’t want to waste a lot of time. I’m getting started though I have to recognize she may not want to be rushed.

Here’s hoping the 42-year-old virgin above got married is on her way to having healthy children…

Updates

I went out of town this past weekend a few hours outside of Chicago in another state. Nothing really to report I was about as far in the background as possible. One night I ate so much food that I took to my hotel room from the picnic and from a local eatery that it made me sick. My stomach started growling when trying to sleep and realized my no. 2 had to come out….BAD! Sounds like pee but smells like poo, yuck!

Felt this way all day on Sunday and found out my bus back to chicago was late, sat around in our hotel (me and my mother of course) went to the bus station. They kicked us out because they lock the bus station down until the next station agent arrives in an hour. I got frustrated and upset at the time traveling with a parent who isn’t as mobile as she used to be. I recognized days later yours truly wasn’t being much of a “head of the table”.

We got to another city when we finally did catch a bus ultimately my mother and I had our feel of the bus and the train station was nearby so we took a train back home. All these delays in getting back home meant that I couldn’t be at work in the morning. That’s fine because after all these issues I needed some rest a break and my excuse was my stomach issues.

Almost got hit with a “improper call out” which I have known people to get into trouble for legit sick or not. Usually if you want to use your sick days, there isn’t many questions however I didn’t entirely follow procedure. For one thing after waiting in a bus terminal in the wee hours of the morning once I got on the train I stretched out and took a nap. Too tired to care when I should let my bosses know that Jack V isn’t coming to work to his assigned shift, though that’s a piece of business that’s still necessary. Either way the truth is I did have a stomach issue as opposed to admitting that I had issues getting home in time for my shift. Because unlike an earlier tardy which I’ve yet to share with you, who knows if a national passenger railroad will allow you a delay slip for your job. Both are true regardless but I was using a sick day and I’d be miserable going to work with an upset stomach.

Well thankfully it’s largely subsided since being home. Just been using some over the counter medication and following online advice avoiding certain foods, drinking water and teas, and eating certain foods like bananas. I feel great just won’t allow myself to do what I did this past weekend again.

Travel issues held up my timeline to finally apply for team receiver at the job. I was getting updates and was told by my boss finally that they will post that job. Not clear on the status of the team receiver who has been out for a few months, although he has returned and has taken shifts with another team as of now. Don’t know if he will be leaving our team or he will just transition to a new position on our team. Just don’t know as of now though I know he’s been talking about his physical therapy and how well it’s been going so on the mend it seems.

Hopefully this new journey will get me somewhere. Our dept has been understaffed and when I do the receiving usually I leave the load out because I feel as if it’s necessary to help push things onto the sales floor. It helps me to put things away in our backstock area. We’ve been understaffed and have lost some people during this rather hectic summer. So for now I’m doing the best I can.

As always if there are any further updates will be happy to share in the near future.

And for the record, they know I want to apply have declared my intent. They have been updating me and I’ve been asking all the questions I know of with regards to this situation. Again time will tell.

Finality on Finer’s

Over the past six or so months I’ve written a lot about the events of No Interview 2014 or mostly about Anthony the fiend injecting that drama into the future as I begin to reach some form of “apex” at the Hole. It was jarring but I recognize that in some respects it’s still in my head. The reality is that that moment is really over, and it doesn’t deserve much thought even now. It’s not something I had no real invested reason to follow-up.

One reason it’s still in my head is its part of the drama that can exist between myself and the fiend. Another reason is I do consider it a fail. For one thing one reason why I never opted to follow-up any further on this in spite of Anthony’s insistence is based upon his his anger when he “discovers” that I hadn’t followed up any further after being sent out of that store after waiting to be interviewed for an hour (i.e. I got no interview). Of course I can consider that I came along way on a cold day and had no breakfast and perhaps not enough sleep to get absolutely nothing accomplished and I had a nasty old man holding onto that disappointed father act give me a hard time over something that isn’t my fault.

Some business wasn’t taken care of and he showed no interest in my side of the story and perhaps he never saw my side of the story. He probably got stuck on the outcome didn’t go the way he wanted it to go and not only that in being a disappointed father he needed to point the finger at yours truly. And worse still he wanted to ride it until I made it right and followed up. And the most confusing part is that he still wanted to know what happened with it two years later and starting talking about how he thought “you’d like it at Finer’s better” or “if you come to Finer Foods you’d make more money”.

When he’d start his campaign I just remember how it went to get on with them with his insistence and with another part of the Streak Era & another number on the no job offer count. That causes me to think of a something crazy scenario such as the climax of the reign of error. One thing I should’ve learned about him when he’s dead set on something he doesn’t stop it could be a narrative or it could be a situation. It all has to suit him and his needs at any given time.

The bottom line is that I need to move forward from that era. If the outcome of the steak era didn’t suit the fiend too bad, it suits me just fine. I feel as if I’m better off now, the goal wasn’t to get stuck on working at Finer Foods although my mind was stuck on working at a cinema and how was that working out for me. The goal was the leave The Show and Anthony gets stuck on what happened with this opportunity or how much I could’ve made with a job that just didn’t work out for me.

As far as his later campaign. I know I said different things such as he’s envious of my success at the time at the Hole or he just never had that closure (whatever that meant to him back then). Lately I’ve hit upon another thought about this, it was all a diversion or distraction. I would expect he knew full well his campaign wasn’t going anywhere. Although one thought that refutes that is when he’s dead set on something he goes in full blast no matter what. However, I don’t have that closure since we don’t have the ties that we used to these days.

Meanwhile I’m still working on that “Crisis” shoot so stay tuned. If all goes to plan it will be the next post.

Update

I’ve recently seen our team receiver and from a colleague I know more about what happened to him it was an injury. Our dept mgr told me their still working on the team receiver position as the other team receiver is still out and depends on the doctors and this that or another. He was also told to rotate the position except we’re understaffed for now and thus it will be difficult to rotate amongst different workers.

When I saw our team receiver the other day he was coming into work supporting another dept. He usually doesn’t close but on this occasion the does. So perhaps mid July sounds about right for him returning to the dept. Does this mean that team receiver is up for grabs is another question for now? Does this mean for extended period of time he won’t be able to perform the job he had?

I know our dept has made some new hires and I know one has started already. We might need the team receiver on the floor so might this be his new role if he’s needed in our dept? Time will tell although I know one thing.

The team receiver expressed interest in buying. He even interviewed for the job I tried to get over two years ago. He says as a team receiver he doesn’t have as much of an ability to learn that role. Perhaps outside of being in the cooler just about all shift putting product away, he now has the ability to campaign and learn about that role with this current situation.

Also I talked with my old dept’s new team buyer. I asked them about when they officially started and basically they were already doing the job anyway. Also the job title hasn’t just changed for them on Fresh’s social network. So it might be a week or two probably.

They asked if I missed my old dept and I just said that right now it’s “Do I really want to go back and do the same thing I had been doing?” Which leads to what would be my interest in returning. My answer was going into buying or even being a supervisor though I nuanced the supervisor deal with the stress of dealing with people. Noted some of the personalities I’ve seen on the dept since I’ve been to the store without noting any specific types. Even she acknowledged so many have their own personalities and it can be hard to navigate them all.

I’ve noted some of these personalities since I started this blog. The knowitalls, the ones who have a concept of what’s supposed to be done and trying to force others into doing it their way, the not very studious, the outspoken, the scatterbrains, the complainers, etc. This is why I’d rather receive product or do the purchasing.

As a supervisor/manager I know that it’s not just associates I’d have to deal with it’s customers with their various personalities. While associates have to be careful in their interactions so do supervisors/managers although in the case of that level they can hurry up and cut off an interaction if it’s not going well. They can decide if a customer is always right or they’re just @$$holes.

I suppose so far I just don’t know how I can navigate these many nuances successfully. Yours truly just tries to do the best he knows possible in those situations. And there is one person who knows me pretty well who I’m sure expect me to fail in such a situation.

Another thing that was asked is what I prefer doing and just noted that I’m doing receiving in my current dept now. I noted that I put product on the floor working off the load while putting stuff away in the backstock. Sometimes it’s great to be away from customers for an extended period of time.

As always I’ll keep you posted on any new developments.