Stand Up for You — The Unedited Version of Being Single & Christian

why am i sharing this? i say this is a lesson worth learning. know your worth and stand up for you.

As singles, It is easy to settle for scraps Be a dirty secret Bargain for things that have an equivalent worth of a penny Allow others to take advantage Struggle to maintain healthy boundaries If you are not careful, allow someone to chip away at your value Compromise on the respect and love you deserve Guilt […]

via Stand Up for You — The Unedited Version of Being Single & Christian


dating advice

on occasion i talked of men that i know of who’s mind is on chasing p***y. for example my friend anthony who does on occasion show me pics of grannies he claimed to have f***ed and done some nasty s*** to. and honestly i don’t want to hear it from him.

now i can’t say for sure that he chases p***y to the extent that mr. wayne talks above. anthony is not the candy and flowers type or at least he never talks about it, he certainly has little problem chasing women though. looking at how he would aggressively “drool” over any good looking woman who crosses paths with him even if he doesn’t talk to them.

as for me, i had attempted to chase p***y on occasion especially back when i was still in college. i really wanted to get with a “hillman” woman although with a select few i’m still in touch with them today. i suppose doing the chasing did me no good, especially with nicole for example. though certainly what must happen to connect with a woman, hopefully she has an attraction for you, and then the two of you are together. perhaps not exactly in that way, but get the picture connect then the magic happens by her actions and certainly by my actions.

hopefully you enjoy this advice

job hunting


the “apocalypse era” meets the “streak era“. man what a depressing era working a job i was beginning not to like anymore and looking for a job with no results for a good period of time. changed strategies, moved too slow on some opportunities, had people putting pressure on me (i.e. anthony), then crazy coworkers at the job, had interviews though no job, had anthony help me with leads get interviews no job or no interview. then it ends with a job that didn’t start off very well and lost my job only to find another one where i lasted far longer.

had some bites and no job so far – even decided to apply to my friend anthony’s favored employer “finer foods” with no bites. had interviews with the national theater chain – especially the “dine-in show” with no bites. which also lets me know i need to put myself in a better interviewing mindset. btw, i never told anthony – my imperious martial artist friend i met at “the show” – that i’m out of work and don’t want him to start campaigning for his favored outcomes which may not be in MY best interest.

my mother suggested it’s OK to try “the show” again. while i attempt to give out the idea of how uninterested i am in that possibility, i have thought about it on occasion before my current situation. in the last few years i know some things have changed, many of the managers i knew back then have left for other opportunities. the coworkers i knew by the time i left have also moved – and yes that includes people i worked well with as well as the troublemakers. i recognized that there have been many new things occuring at “the show” since my very last shift there..

all the same, the thought has crossed my mind only to be nixed by the idea that my price has gone up. some of the managers i knew from my time – especially if they’re senior managers – are still up there. while i know who i may target if i seek to “negotiate” my return, i often get the feeling that my price could be seen as too high. that price may not necessarily be only money, just that some of what happened back during my time i’m not going to let happen again. i’m not too scared to seek other opportunities if i don’t like where i’m at.

that said, i see this only as a desperation move. at what point do i find that i have no other options but to try to return to “the show”? and for me to go back there at what point would it even be worth returning? of course i have to consider is it worth it for the managers who know me to summon my return. hopefully these aren’t questions i won’t seek to have answered as of now.

on the other hand, this is the apocalypse era. my mother isn’t working anymore – she wants to go back to work but it won’t be a full-time job as she had for most of her adult life. she’s not in a position to do some of the things she had been doing for me. it becomes a case of do what i must do to earn a living for myself.

that means if you’ve been a hot shot executive (well I wasn’t actually) and you get laid off perhaps you may not find a comparable job – what do you do? do you accept a lesser position? do you accept a “mcjob”? do you try your hand at being a bank teller? do you accept a sales job? in my case and i dread this is to go back to a job where for the most part i had a largely awful experience as time went on.

btw, i did humble up and try college bookstores though no bites with that either. for the most part the semester has started at chicago-area local universities so thus perhaps i won’t hear anything yet. for the moment all i can do it continue plugging away

best case scenario i’m back at a “fresh foods” store though not necessarily where i had been working for three years. the main change will be greater attention to my attendance and hopefully get myself in a better position when i return. like i said the easiest resolution to fulfill in 2018 is to find another job. be worried if it’s about to be 2019 and i still haven’t found anything.

memorial service

it’s not often that i write a post so soon after an event happens, today i’m making an exception. as you know my first cousin mandy had passed away a week ago. she had suffered from kidney failure for decades and was getting treatment so that she could recieve a transplant and she developed cardiac arrest and died. for many years she had resisted doing a transplant and was just fine with doing dialysis until her young daughter convinced her to go for it.

like i said already there is some drama – with things like there are – but i’m trying to write this without drama. in the grand scheme of things the drama is so minor and petty, however, that is not the post i want to write.

it was sad to me to see mandy’s remains in an urn and next to her remains is a poster of her image on an easel. we had missed most of the memorial service as well my mother got lost on the way – she somehow passed up the point where we needed to go on the expressway. and then she decided to change routes again instead of going the way we know and we got further and further away from where we needed to be.

eventually we arrived at the funeral home in indiana and we saw mandy’s mother – my aunt – in a pose of sorts. she was of course grieving but my mother noted that she had just spoke at the service. not a lot of people there are the service other than her boyfriend, my other first cousin tasha and her hubby, her oldest son, another one of my aunts. everyone else i had no idea who they were.

when i finally sat down after using the jon a wannabe reverend was speaking. he was winging his remarks hard. a lot of you knows and this that or another. no coherent message to be remembered here, he just stumbled his way through his message. sorry to say was not impressed, but it is what it is.

her young daughter who was ready to donate her kidney organized the service and of course the drama somewhat involves money – there will be no elaboration because no drama for this. also i’m sure the family grandchildren and my aunt held up well for the moment even if one wanted to be more involved than they other.

as usual i avoided hugs or any deep conversation at least. and in some respects people wanted to speak and i barely say a word. i tried not to get too involved with it, but at the same time i saw this as a very sad day my first cousin mandy reduced to ashes in an urn. i knew this, but wasn’t entirely ready for it.


Dateless-Man vs. Older Virginity Advice

thanks to dateless man. about what he writes sometimes i feel the same way. i also wish i could provide that middle ground where i could find success with women and provide a path towards other men who are in our general predicaments.

and yes he’s right no one should make us feel worthless because we’ve never known a woman. if a woman can get away from her worth with regards to man, then the same for men. women don’t need a man to be fulfilled and men don’t need a woman to be fulfilled.

another conclusion i’ve come to, those people who make an issue of it are probably single and desperate themselves. i often characterize those as such who seem to like chasing pussy and perhaps the same for women who want the “D”.

anyway i said too much, what do you think about what dateless man writes about?

A new year means a fresh slate of at least 10-12 blog entries here, at least ideally. As a minor update I am still at my new gig, officially three months in. Only another nine before I am past probation, and the pressure is high. But that isn’t what I want to talk about here. […]

via Dateless-Man vs. Older Virginity Advice — The New Adventures of Dateless-Man!



I know that a few months ago it was stated by yours truly that the storyline of this blog – my time at “the show” – had ended i’m bringing it back because something new came up. it’s minor and not very dramatic, but it involves a former colleague who i ran into on the train. i hadn’t seen him – let’s give him a name brandon – since leaving the theater in 2014.

we talked about our time at “the show”. brandon claimed they asked him to become a manager he turned them down because he didn’t want them to “own” him. and they way i could see it, if “owning” him meant lousy pay with no benefits, then yeah it wasn’t worth it. we both noted that unless we made it past supervisor to the general manager level, there were no other opportunities for growth.

while i chose not to really go there with him on my part, i thought oh they asked him but they never asked me. allow me to emphasize that there is a good reason why it likely never happened, and it’s entirely acceptable to me. at some point i got past the fact that it wasn’t likely to happen shorty before i left. had to make up my mind to not care about it and just move on from there.

anyway i told him about keith who was our colleague that got promoted to supervisor after i left. told brandon that he got fired for dating one of the associates and through some snakey behavior by those people who he had thought of as friends gave his bosses the ammunition. bottom line his downfall was as a result of the behavior from a group of young women i would characterize as “the mean girls of s***place”. even keith would admit that – i made some hints to him while still there – the girls found a way to make him a target.

* btw, over a year ago i ran into another colleague who dropped by our dept. at “fresh foods”. we talked a little about our former employer and talked about the girls i decided to play counterpoint and wonder “perhaps it was me”. he corrects me and says no it was the girls, they tried to start some drama with him too. he remembered when i got into with some of them and even pulled me away one time when one of those mean girls just insisted on the very last word.

anyway we talked about harve who got promoted from supervisor to senior manager – you might have read about him last year. brandon noted that harve came in not long after or before him and it was about time that he got promoted to that level. he also noted that our house manager knew him and he got hired exactly to become a mgr. this in his mind explains why harve got promoted within months after getting hired as a staff member.

* which brings to mind anthony whom i’m led to believe that also knew him. in fact i was also led to believe anthony brought him there. thanks to the fact that harve might have been on that track anyway anthony grew to turn on him eventually. in his mind harve was trying to be like them – and to be like them in his mind and mine isn’t entirely flattering. of course as far as manager i had some very negative feelings about them.

of course we talked about what we’re doing now – not telling brandon that i got fired from “fresh foods” i told him that’s where i am now. he told me where he is now with some future plans in mind. he probably will get there unlike yours truly he was somewhat able from my observations to stay away from whatever drama the mean girls had little problem starting. he was quiet in ways that i wasn’t, to which i say good for him. perhaps he’d have been a good manager or fed into the craziness who knows.

life cycle

well this post was prompted by news that my first cousin – mandy – wasn’t doing very well. she was waiting for a kidney transplant – she’s had kidney failure for years and always resisted getting a transplant – and she had a serious cardiac arrest while going for a treatment. then i heard over the course of a week she remained on life support.

now i feel quite sh*tty, i don’t really remember the last time i saw her it has been a few years. we weren’t close, however, i knew mandy mostly while she remained with her mother. her mother whom i discussed briefly here has a bit of a controlling streak which as my cuz got older wanted to get away from.

she would try at least in the years she had been apart from her mother – they weren’t estranged as i knew it, but she wanted to go – to be touchy feely with me. unfortunately i’m rarely cooperative with that. me and her had no real issues though i knew that she could have a very bad temper which could come out unpredictably.

all the same i couldn’t describe our relationship as warm. alas she had a health condition that for many years i may have erroneously blamed on her own mother because she wasn’t the relaxing type. i could say she had the same tendencies as anthony who on occasion came in at the right time, but sometimes will just go rogue  and can never predict what they’ll do next.

which brings to mind, while writing this post i evoked the memory of my dad. my cousin had some serious kidney issues that required dialysis. my dad on the other hand just couldn’t quite settle his alcoholism and even worse had severe high blood pressure he needed to treat. unfortunately my dad chose alcohol instead of really treating his high blood pressure. the comparison is that my dad could’ve controlled his condition on the other hand my cousin had controlled her condition and lasted quite a while.

unfortunately after a week on life support mandy passed away. so as far as i know she’s the first cousin of my generation from my mother’s side to die. quite a blow i’ll say. it’s hard to believe that after living with her condition for no more than two decades and on her way to a kidney transplant she’s gone.

i won’t write anymore about the potential drama that could involve my aunt. as for the brief write-up about her a few years ago, she was involved with drama then. this time imagine the drama when her only child dies before she does. very sad…

btw, i wanted to really talk about the life cycle. the life cycle is really something. now i don’t remember what else i would’ve written after that. i just know that i’d have talked about some of the deaths in my relatively large family. regardless i wish you all good health for as long as we have it.