the one-off foe is back

IMG_0998in continuing to wrap up the storyline about my time at “the show” i’m going to revisit that one-off foe missy. then we may explore one more time what happened with her good buddy candace who decided that “i need friend” during her time trying to talk to me.

for a good number of years missy had left me with some unease. missy was a young woman of no more than 19-20 and was aggressive. it would be attributed to her age more than anything. it may just be her natural inclination.

evidence of her aggression to start she was very take change. my gut tells me that she wanted to be a manager and someone on mgmt level put that idea in her head. with this in mind she got herself involved in situations that required the presence of a manager. not only that there were situations where i pushed back and she didn’t handle this very well. she would get pissed though remembers that she could run to a manager and hopefully settle it. only thing is the more she engaged in that behavior the more i’d just withdraw from her.

with this in mind one situation that i’ve only heard about from one of the supervisors at work involved a call from one of the auditoriums at work. an associate called for a manager to their theater and missy was the one who responded to the call. talk about being very take charge and certainly a case of well this is the position she wanted. she was very willing to act the part even if she never got the position before she quit.

now this leads me to one reason i think she started power tripping especially when i used my sarcasm to push back against her. rumors had been going around not long before or after she had left that allegedly she was having an affair with the house manager. i suppose that when you’re flirting and banging some things are said that may or may not happen in this case i’m going to make you a supervisor.

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anyway when henry left the theater – close to three years after missy left – he decided to repeat this rumor with me and a newer coworker on a trash run. he was generally talking about the many dramas at the show of which missy was one.

henry: *to me* you remember “missy” when she had that affair with [house manager]

yours truly: *to henry* oh that BITCH….oh i’m sorry….i can’t, can’t stand that girl

henry: the thing is she really was a bitch because she ran to [house manager] for every little issue

yours truly: *to henry* it was going around at the time that she was trying to make manager

henry: yeah!

missy was pretty infamous in my mind and is the single most ugliest woman personality wise i have ever met. and with this in mind this was a slow burn. the best part of this story is that if she was seeking something in trying very hard at various points to make me look bad, she largely failed. she may have succeeded in making me look bad but she really got nothing out of it.

one time i pushed back after she tried to tell me that i need to reuse that bag because they count them. it’s her being take change and i didn’t like that. she didn’t like the fact that i got “smart” with her. and later she told a manager about my behavior. i responded to her take charge behavior, however, she wasn’t wrong i gave the customer a bag that wasn’t warm. my mistake.

another time i was returning from my 30 min break and missy standing outside of the box office area was keen on telling me that i needed to hurry up and clock back in. i was on my phone just as i was about to clock back in, besides there was a reason i surfaced to return to work so i simply brushed by her without a word. basically she placed her arm across the door letting me know “don’t ignore me”. i was like oh ok uninterested in a confrontation that she wanted to initiate. later i yelled at her for trying to tell me if i mark a bill i didn’t have to find a manager. even though which was my point that could be better stated that i still needed a manager to check large bills whether or not the bill was marked with a counterfeit marker.

the last and worst confrontation happened later that summer and it was based on an over-reaction. but i really wasn’t feeling her need to be take charge. i didn’t report her for the aggressive and obnoxious behavior she displayed when a movie let out. it all started when she tried to tell me to to collect 3D glasses – and only after everyone else assumed i was supposed to be doing it and the thing is while i did it for those movies i was cleaning no one told me to collect all 3D glasses. i just walked off on her and she immediately found the nearest manager.

she kept trying to confront me and i wouldn’t speak. one of the supervisors starting getting concerned because missy – told one of them about it. she even threatened me by stating “i better not see you on roosevelt road!” even after that and as i walked off on her and she was looking for things to criticize me on the next thing she did was find the nearest manager and say something else. she especially saw when they pulled me into the office.

i’m not sure i was in trouble when they did. h.m and another senior manager wanted to know if i was ok and what was going on. and established that i wasn’t really caring for one of the workers who decided to really target me because i wasn’t going to talk to her on that day. and they were following me around after that until i got off later. missy had left the building after i paid a visit to the office.

another time after that missy had came to the theater to watch a movie and upon seeing me walking back to box decided to speak.

missy: hey jack!

yours truly: *stops for a second and then keeps walking to register*

missy: so you’re not going to speak to me jack….ok it’s cool! *she then proceeds to talk about some earlier incident involving me at that moment to another coworker*

to which btw, there were nothing but serious tactical errors on my part with her. one major one she attempted to blow up at work that i poked her on fb and she friend requested me. man she kept talking about it at work and didn’t mind saying “don’t act like you don’t poke me on fb”. for the most part i never really went there with her although i have told some people i did this without really knowing who it was. this was just another dumb drama she wanted to start and i gave that one to her on a silver platter. although it more or less upset her when i really did nothing with this.

in fact there was one other incident where she got mad because she was talking to me and i kept walking. we both were doing our rounds one evening when she apparently heard from mischievous coworkers that i didn’t care for her. she tried to say i was funny and tried to engage me, i just went inside a theater to give it a quick check and she comes in after me to confront me. starting with “didn’t you hear me talking to you” before softening up and quietly leaving.

the less i interacted with her in spite of her taking shots at me – for example “this is jack, he won’t acknowledge me in anyway….see” as i walk away from her with no word while she speaks to a new employee. she often says something about my smart mouth although i stopped when she made her threats at that point i had nothing more i needed to say to her. eventually she just shut down on me, no words at all would cross paths between us. just as i stopped communicating with her she eventually stopped. nothing she was saying whether aggressively or softly i just refused to respond because i knew if i said the right thing she’d get triggered.

twice i was face to face with her at “the show” before i finally left. to start i took care of her as a customer and i didn’t really speak to her as i did to both her and her two friends. and she didn’t say much to me either almost as if i wasn’t there, but this was better than her being nasty towards me. the last time was shortly before i left in 2014, she was leaving her movie with a group around her she looked at me and then re-fixed her gaze passed me. i backed up not because of her but certainly because there was a crowd leaving the movie at that time.

remember i said she friended me right, eventually a few years i’d drop her from fb. she stopped talking about the poking at least where i could hear her. and she never got promoted and rumor had it that the rumors killed that possibility. also rumor had it she handed in her two weeks without actually landing a job although someone mentioned that she moved onto a bank.

btw, i have to mention this the one time i took care of her as a customer she made sure to talk to someone she did get along with. first thing she asked about, the house manager, almost as if she still had some business with him. i wonder if she was up there looking for him and he was ducking her. which is funny because someone like her who is angry and aggressive is what he chases, he has more patience with that apparently than i ever would.

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How do you deal with a male virgin

Damned if you’ve had limited experience with women and damned if you’ve had plenty of experience with women. You’re either a freak who can’t get any or a freak who’ll drop a girl for the next hot thing!

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http://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Dear Bunmi,

My new boyfriend and I are both 24 and he claims to be a virgin. The least problem I thought he would have was premature ejaculation, but the opposite is the case. We both haven’t had full sex yet, but I have given him oral sex and he still hasn’t had an orgasm even though I’ve done it for 30 minutes or more.

Does this mean he’s lying about being a virgin? I’ve asked him why he doesn’t orgasm and he says it feels good but he panics when he feels himself losing control.

He sounds suspicious but I’ve quizzed his friends and he does appear to be telling the truth.

Motayo, by e-mail.

Dear Motayo,

Your poor boyfriend! Not only does he have to confess to being a late bloomer,

now he’s being accused of making it all up! Then, just in case all his friends…

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positive tales of working at “the show”

it seems most of my posts about the show with few exceptions have been negative. i noted on occasion that many of the people i met were quite cool and they were a joy to work with. not only that many of us will speak say hello and many even ask what are you up to today. generally cordial, the trouble makers will often avoid saying much to me they either know they will get a chilly reception or they may just have their own odd issues still – whatever those are.

sometimes though a busy cinema is exciting, the activity is important to a business any business. although this activity can on occasion bring out the crazy in some people. there are high maintenance people out there who are already on edge about something and they need to bring out out on someone. sadly i have been on the receiving end of this. sometimes the wrong managers take advantage and decide it’s ok to talk sh*t.

even though i returned to the business briefly with another company at the dine-in show i still miss the screenings. when some promotion company organize a free advance screening for a coming attraction. those are cool the worse parts are insuring customers choose their seats and getting everyone lined up. like i said the crazies come out not just on the weekends for new movies, also for these screenings.

there was once an elderly woman who waited long for a screening. she complained to us though there was little we could do other than tell her someone else makes the call to let customers in. she was so upset she announced she’d never come back to our facility again. to be fair to “sh*tplace” it was not necessarily our fault that she had to wait until the promo reps allowed us to move the line forward.

i never understood finicky people over their food. people wanted a “fresh” frozen pizza or a pizza that was less burned. funniest story about that i had a customer who looked at their pizza gave it back to me later claimed it was burned. one minor problem though i never challenged them on it, the pizza wasn’t burned at all. it was all just an excuse! in this case i put it back in the warmer and it was quickly sold – so no small fortune was lost in this process. 😛

want to hear an odd story about a “secret shopper”. one weekday after school was out for the year we were swamped with families and their children. a temperamental woman was virtually hissing at another lady claiming “i’m next! I’M NEXT!” it didn’t matter though all registers had no line.

this same hissing made some noise getting our attention “HEY HEY HEY HEY HO HO HO HO”. she only wanted to tell us that our containers for salt were empty and that she’s a secret shopper and they pay attention to that. this woman merely wanted attention! >-(

our theater was a zoo with all types of people. women wanted to see the movies they wanted to see and often gravitated towards feminist or romance cinema. we got young people or young people from the “hood” who often gravitated towards horror, action or comedy.

we also had the people who were just out and decided to drop by the theater and had little idea what to see so often we had to answer questions about what the movies were about. one infamous question with regards to this is a vague “what’s good?” or another infamous question “what’s scary?” oh and i forget sometimes we get hit with a scent of marijuana because some people come in after getting a hit. and of course that’s not to say people whom i worked with didn’t smoke that stuff, and for the record i’ll only smoke that if i’m terminally ill. sorry tmi and hopefully that never happens.

finally i just want to say it never occurred to me how they show the pictures. most movies before the 21st century used film reels provided by the distributors. “the show” used hard drives that were delivered to them often via a courier. so if there were any issues, a computer could be used to fix them. sometimes a lens had to be changed especially for a 3D movie. since my role at “the show” never could include projection this was not something i concerned myself with much unless a customer’s experience was somehow impacted which either meant a customer complained or i knew there was a problem already and was proactive about getting it fixed.

one thing i will say about my time at the theater, it gave me an invaluable experience especially when it comes to dealing with people. and with this in mind it includes both coworkers, managers, supervisors, and customers. as much as i may say i had a not very good experience, perhaps i’m a long way from saying that i’d have done something different other than how i’d approach the situations i found myself in there.

petty

Concession Counter at Movie Theater

lately i’ve found myself telling this story to some of my current coworkers. this is one that has still got me riled after leaving three years ago. basically what i’ve told them is a shorthand version of this very petty story. they all ask the same basic question “did she try make this as if i did something to her” or “was she trying to imply that there was something sexual”.

the answer to those question is, I have no idea. the basic story is that she ran to mgmt because i bumped into her to basically illustrate the pettiness of this story. and the worst part of this story is that the house manager – the no. 2 honcho at the theater – decided to handle this and this situation escalated. to be fair i was already not in a good state when this happened and the house manager has a tendency to handle things indelicately. this story will illustrate this.

this story started when i had to cook more pizzas due to a picky customer who complained that the pizza given to him was burned. so when i came back from behind the stand to hand him his pizza i was looking for him and he had walked off. just as i was going further into the front suddenly this young lady – we’ll call her kelly – was in front of me with her elbow in my chest. she said nothing and i just simply kept it moving thinking we both knew what happened.

allow me to briefly introduce kelly, physically she had been something to look at as far as personality she was young and often showed it. she often used her high-pitched and occasionally squeaky voice to complain. she may have on at least two other occasions used that voice on me to complain about something i.e. i wasn’t doing any work. one time she used her voice to mouth off on another male coworker who asked me and another coworker if we’d like to trade with him in his words “i can’t work with her”.

it was some time later that i was about to head to bathroom and i walked past customer service and h.m. bellowed behind his perch there “jack, did you bump into kelly”. when i answered in the affirmative his next question was “then why didn’t you say excuse me?” when he decided to start in on my right in the theater lobby while seated i heard kelly state “you’re being very rude jack”. basically this is how well that went

jack: ok how about this? i will say excuse me to you when you say excuse me to me. *to kelly

kelly: no because you were being very rude *to yours truly

jack: WHAT DO YOU MEAN RUDE?!?!?! *back to kelly

h.m.: walk away kelly, walk away

as you saw there i went off on her immediately and as she walked to the back i just simply asked h.m.: “YOU’RE TAKING THIS UP? REALLY? YOU’RE TAKING THIS UP?”. All he said was that well he was giving me the opportunity to make it right as there was no disagreement as to what happened. bad news is that since he got involved in something so petty now it’s taking on a different tone and hence why it got heated real quick. while i tried to remember this is the general manager’s #2 i was talking to i just couldn’t contain how out of line this was.

now granted she had every right to do what she did, this was clearly uncalled for. in my mind who got hurt and what exactly did i do for her not to be able to handle getting bumped into by yours truly. i have no idea if she wanted to suggest it was harassment or if she just had the need to complain about something which is more likely. and also was h.m. jumping on this because she was has favorite employee or had a serious crush on her that she decided to play off of one more time.

4G08Mmum

superman triggered

regardless his involvement was a bad trigger and my voice raised to the point where he suggest i watch my tone. eventually after this he pulled me towards the back where i wasn’t backing down and i had no problem telling him “i don’t understand why she RAN to YOU!” and still he wants me to just say excuse me and i tell him what i told her “i’ll say excuse me to her when she says excuse me to me”. finally just to calm things down he quickly and loudly told me to put my hands down i’m being violent. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING VIOLENT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN VIOLENT?” if i was thinking about doing something when he said that i wanted to just give him a weak slap across the face just to illustrate a dumb point.

at this point, the general manager who for whatever reason was in the background walked up and ushered us into the office, finally. while i won’t discuss much about what was said in the office. i will say the GM approached this neutrally without pointing a finger at anyone. he did wonder what my problem was with saying excuse me to kelly. well here’s the answer i’ll tell you if i was at my wits end with “the show” and why sometimes fingers get pointed at me for some odd reason then how did a simple bump become a huge issue for the top two managers to address. also h.m. i always knew as a d*ck towards me so i saw this as another incident and chose a very small one thanks to a very complaining young lady.

eventually i finally went to the bathroom after being ushered out of the office so that the h.m and g.m. can further discuss the issue. when i got back behind the stand i was called back into the office with kelly so that the h.m can oversee us say excuse me to each other. and without being specific kelly had to say something before being cut off by the h.m. the h.m had to repeat a basic lie he wasn’t able to prove during this whole “fight” of sorts claiming “she said excuse me”. which he only said after i repeatedly  made my statement that “i’ll say excuse me to her, when she says excuse me to me”.

before this point i had an interview with a bank which i was still waiting on a decision. regardless this was just one sign that it was time for me to go. after this strange incident i made it a point to stay as far away from kelly as possible. was mostly successful until she finally cut her ties with “the show” later that summer.

positivity

thumb-up-terminator pablo M R

on this blog i sometimes talk about positivity though it seems as if i never practiced enough of it. i’ll admit that it’s my tendency to dwell on some of the negative incidents that have happened in my life. unfortunately “the show” is no different as it took up a significant amount of my time.

so allow me to be somewhat positive about my time at “the show”. as much as i dwell on those incidents with rambunctious and very take charge young people who were very willing to let you know to your face that they don’t value you as a coworker. there are some positives and as often stated i’m often in touch with many of these individuals from “the show”.

some were cool and good to talk with even if on occasion what i may be saying isn’t what they want to hear. and yes some of them – like anthony – has the tendency to want to take advantage of the situation. i’ll still say that it was worthwhile knowing them and even then if it wasn’t for anthony i may never have started looking for another job even if it took over two years to finally leave the theater.

there were many good times there and often with the right people. i also miss the occasions where i drove to work with me sometimes taking alternate route too and from work. also i’m lucky that no one knew to do something to my mother’s vehicle especially if i raised the ire of some many at the job. on top of that many of them decided i wasn’t going to do much about it.

the ones i did well with i try to bring them with me although many have so far not took the plunge. some have found better positions and that’s definitely a good thing. many of them it would be cool to bring them with me to my current job and beyond.

if you’ve read this blog you got to know anthony a little bit. an outspoken older gentlemen who means well but seems to have the ability to talk down to people. on the other hand he’s a bit of a fighter who looks at the big picture. through him i knew about the ways “the show” used obamacare to cut hours. he was good at learning the lay of the land there in ways i never considered. when we first met he came on strong and caused some distance and still can come on strong.

there’s a man named henry who we’ll meet again in another post. he was very good at his job to the point where he often was an usher on weekends and was an unofficial trainer. good to talk about and also knew the lay of the land. on the flip side, he sure had some drama in his life if you judged my his fb page years ago. he left and found another job months before i had.

also there a man name keith who became a manager within months after i left. he gave me the definitive  low-down on what it’s like to move up to the supervisory level not long after he got fired. the worse thing about his termination was that the people he thought were friends were the ones who turned on him and helped get him out. he probably still hasn’t figured out why they did what they did. as happens with young coworkers in a place with no structure at all!

there’s an older lady name kristi whom i worked with the first two years. i haven’t stayed in touch with her much over the years although i gave her a quick update on what happened at the show since she left. which managers got fired and moved on. she was a cool ally to have and it’s too bad that she left the job due to illness.

those are just some examples. i texted keith once not long after he left “the show” that i’m very glad i never burned bridged with everyone. i began to believe i was that bad, then he concurred with my next statement “the people who worked with whom bridges were burned were just looking for excuses.” so i could dwell on the negative aspects, but what i will choose to do from this point forward is to remember those i worked well with!

also i forgot to add with the many managers and supervisors i interacted with – which does include someone like harve – i’ve offered thank you cards to two senior managers who were helpful during the “streak era”. unfortunately neither are no longer at the show, although with one i have his phone number and perhaps i should just dial him up in the near future.

relating

i’m only sharing this article with this quote:

One of the biggest turn-offs for men is disrespect from their spouse and yelling is a form of disrespect when done inappropriately as this woman was doing. At least this women recognizes that she had a problem. There are many wives who do not and they yell and act disrespectful of men and then wonder why men avoid them. That doesn’t sound very empathetic to me.

a common these with young women at “the show” had been odd conflicts with young women i had great issues getting along with. many had wanted to find something to complain about displaying in some respects there need to be take charge or more accurately their need to distract. most of this may well be their inability to truly read me or perhaps a need to seek out male attention though utilizing mainly negative means.

let’s take me out of the equation, some guys know how to handle this and got the young women or girls interested in them. some were young a precious few were much older. it could indicate that some of these young people have a horrible time relating to men. same as who helen smith above is referring to.

a wife or girlfriend may yell at her husband or boyfriend because she knows no other way of relating to them other than as boys to be raised. perhaps some young women use that same approach with men whether in their lives, at school or at work. treating them like sh*t will get them to pay attention to me!

except it may cause the opposite. perhaps you get resentment and perhaps a man who’s attention you seek will only stay as far away from you as possible. though with immaturity it’s possible one can’t understand the problem is actually within not the other person.

at the same time, i recognize that my problem is just as easily i had a rough time relating to the young women. if i’m a thirty-something working with teenaged girls or early twenty-something women it could become a gap that is insurmountable. of course the reasons for this is actually varied though not something to get into right now.

why did i never get promoted to mgmt?

as jack v continues to finish the storyline involving “the show” we explore why a promotion to mgmt never happened. in this post one reason why it wasn’t likely to happen.

manager-employee

the primary reason why I left “the show” was because of growth as yours truly wasn’t growing at the theater. having worked there for five years especially since it opened it meant nothing not only to the coworkers but to the managers – many of whom came and went over the years. many likely began to view me as a drag and why because everyone had an awful opinion of me. it’s possible that i helped to create this opinion but if someone wants to complain it’s easier for me to say i don’t want to work with them.

it leads to one opinion as to why it never happened was my inability to get along or relate to many of the younger coworkers. especially as often stated the young women i worked with came up with excuses to start complaining and in reality it was all just a simple distraction and misdirection. remember many of the worst ones moved on to other jobs or got themselves fired for stealing.

in the meanwhile i don’t respond to this fit of complaining very well. if i dare run my mouth it only escalates and they dig in. they come to their conclusions and no matter what i say i’m lazy, i don’t want to do any work, i’m lazy, i walked off on customers, etc. once someone realizes they can get under your skin they go much further.

either way as i strive to be reliable – even if i have issues with tardies – better yet strive to be the model worker they want mgmt notes some of the small mistakes i make and blow them up. it’s as if they can relate to the kids who just started working and causing problems because no one pulled them aside to tell them you can’t just go after people like this. many of them have grown to be comfortable behaving in this way whether after years or months or weeks. perhaps as if it’s their so far natural inclination.

oh yeah i forgot how do i get along with my fellow coworkers. not very well and don’t get me wrong i made a few key mistakes one of which had been bizarrely spreading rumors. i caught the attention of an aggressive and panicky senior manager who wanted to know what i knew and how i knew it. yet i was accused of decreasing morale except morale was already bad and not getting better. i think mgmt at the time were picking their targets and picked the ones who weren’t squeaky wheels.

either way as i could wonder how some of the managers/supervisors got promoted i wondered why it never happened for me. one conclusions was that for whatever it was they were looking for that wasn’t me. in some respect for who i’d have been working with and for my inability to really get along with some of the coworkers today i can at least say that i wasn’t ready for even supervisory duties.

i had often looked at the compensation – pay slightly above minimum wage and no benefits – it helps me decide i didn’t miss anything. after leaving i was glad i never got promoted up there. i began to make more elsewhere without getting promoted there or better yet in fact without waiting for an increase in the minimum wage.

i may often still fantasize about joining a mgmt team at a movie theater at some point in the future i at least can still say that today i have more options. especially with not only 5+ years of theater experience, also almost 3 years of grocery experience. i can even include minimal experience at a bank!

what i can also emphasize is that in my current position now i have growth on my side. there are plenty of opportunities where i am and need to allow myself to stay in place as i had at “the show”.