Reconnect

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Recently I got several calls from a number I don’t recognize – my policy is usually not answer unrecognizable phone numbers if they’re someone to answer hopefully they’ll leave a voicemail. So after the umpteenth phone call from this number I receive a txt from this number asking me to call them. The hell….

I txted them asking them who are they? It was Anthony, the last time he did non-sense like this he made it seem urgent – this was the last time he asked to borrow money – “Call me 911”. This wasn’t the first time he sent such a txt, the first time he did that I just txted call 911 not knowing what he meant. Of course this was probably him asking for same, just me give and him take.

So anyway so far I’ve just ignored his phone calls and texts so far. When we worked together at “The Show” he often expressed irritation when I won’t get back to him and will confront me at work the next day. It’s as if I owe him my time which he really doesn’t however he was angling for something during the two years we had actually worked together. I allowed myself to think of him as a good friend except he when I think about it he always had an agenda of sorts.

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Want to know the two first questions he asked me when I first met him? This was a bit unprovoked, out of the blue and shows that he wastes no time “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Now when I wouldn’t give him an answer it probably gave him an idea. I told him about my background and he’s expressing surprised with the terms “You just shocked me dude”. He was expressing his more outspoken side, but that question actually offended me, the worst part is that I was driving him home from work in my mother’s car. I could’ve put him out on the expressway….

The second question which for a brief time caused me to keep my distance from him for a short period was probably no less than two or three weeks after he started at the theater, “Can I borrow some money”. He gave me a little speech about how he was short and he needed a little something. Like I said he wasted no time.

I told a coworker Henry about it, and his response was to just ditch him. Anthony knew I drove to work that night and was following me around when it was quitting time as if he was going to get his cash and a ride home. I feel bogus for it, but I was just so offended by him asking for money when I hardly knew him & I outright left him at the theater. He did call me though I never listened to his voicemail. He never brought that incident up to me again though I’m sure he had his questions that I never answered.

He did come up to me once and asked point blank confronting me “Why won’t you speak to me?” Sometimes when I express displeasure with something I think he understands I don’t like it, but most of the time he doubles down. Sometimes he complains about my own personality quirks, yet I have to accept his. For example, he occasionally uses pornographic speech about the women he finds attractive. His willingness to talk about people behind their backs as he’ll make comments about people to me though will express irritation when I do the same thing with him.

Remember in a recent post I ran into a coworker Brandon about a mgr at “The Show” Harve. Well Anthony was someone who worked with him and claimed to have helped him get the job at the theater. Harve got promoted real quick and Anthony seemed to have been talking s**t about him, I was like I though Harve was your boy. He never responded though conversely years later when Harve became a senior mgr he was proud of him. As if the s**ttalking never happened, however, if he did it to someone like Harve as it turned out he’d do it to me. Though in my case he would do it directly to my face, not be as nasty about it. In fact it would take the tone of a disappointed father, because I would never play it the way he wanted me to.

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Kind of like what happened with “Finer Foods” last year. All the sudden he kept bringing up that I could leave “Fresh Foods” and go to “Finer” with my experience and make more money. He brought it up enough times where in irritation I just simple exclaimed over the phone “YOU MUST REALLY HAVE A HARD-ON FOR ME GOING TO ‘FINER FOODS’!”. He backed off and just said “no I’m just saying”. Then maybe a week or two later he calls me at work I text him a I’ll call you back later then he txts back “Why don’t you come over here with me at Finer Foods? You’ll make more money and you’d be closer to home.”

While I did call him later I avoided talking about it letting him know at that point how well things seemed to have been going at “Fresh”. He seemed to have agreed and he never brought up “Finer” until that 911 text and he asked to borrow some money. We were in a barber shop and he pointblank asks “Are you thinking about jumping ship yet?” I simply gave another excuse and he more or less doubled down saying get an interview, know your worth, see how much money they’re talking. It’s almost as if he never picked up on the fact that I wasn’t interested in jumping ship.

Though I sort of know what’s going on here. He was never making a suggestion, he was expressing an expectation. It wasn’t going to matter what I said about whether or not I was going to change jobs from one company to another. All that mattered to him was influencing me into going the direction he wants me to go. Perhaps this is always his M.O. even at “The Show” and masked by his own agenda. His own agenda never involved looking out for me when things began to turn the theater job into “s**tplace”. He wanted something and being friendly to me would get him that.

BTW, another reason I haven’t really talked to him was my job situation. If he knew that I wasn’t working right now, he’d go over my head to solve the problem. He’d start telling me about the opportunities that exists wherever he is. And they may not be the opportunities that are in my best interest. Then I remember during the course of the streak era his attempts to help me find a job resulted in exactly three opportunities with no offers. He’s 0 for 3…

Actually while it’s been fairly recent, that I haven’t been working my communications blackout with him has been in effect really since the summer. If it wasn’t about some drama in his life he wanted to talk about with me, he wants to talk about money. The last txt from him last summer was updating me on stuff I already knew with a promise from him to pay me back the money he borrowed. I did call him not long after that left a voicemail and he never got back to me. Every now and they he’d say something on my facebook or instagram and one of those posts I just deleted because it irritated me.

Jake-Gyllenhaal-Nightcrawler

From Nightcrawler

Finally the last time I called him was about “Deranged Barney” an encounter which I consider a trigger. That’s not someone I ever want to encounter again because my behavior would backslide into the negative as my goal is to never do that again. So anyway, instead of letting me talk this out his first instinct upon asking him “Guess who I ran into today?” His response was “D.B.?” He’s needling me about Mr. Deranged now, it’s been too much of running joke to him and not sensing how not in the mood I was for his teasing he goes into “You really need to let that go”. Instead it was like I’m a bad guy for not wanting to talk to him.

So he wants me to have a vested interest in his drama which are his children. For example the money he borrowed was for his son’s medical expenses. He gave a whole story about how he was asking for money in his family and he really needed me to give him some money. My form of cutting this off which didn’t work was I offered $20 as cold as it is to say this had nothing to do with me. In silence he just quickly shot back man you know you can give me at least $100.

The other drama he expressed to me a year earlier was he told me of an incident involving one of his daughters who he orchestrated a job at “The Show”. Apparently one of the senior mgrs decided to put their hands on his daughter and there was a bit of a drama with that. Since her daddy can involve himself in almost anything, he of course involved himself in this incident with his daughter – and with his counsel rightfully. He expressed anger for a time after this although with him knowing the senior mgr in question he talks about her like a dog but still expressed a pornographic interest in her.

So all the same, not a quandary. He’s given something to talk about on this blog and also I had a nice vacation from him. He might have been as responsible for it as I am, however, now he wants to be back in touch with me. It’s OK if a friend wants to talk to me, but problematic if it leads into, “Hey sorry I haven’t been in touch with you for a bit, however I really need something from you”…

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petty

Concession Counter at Movie Theater

lately i’ve found myself telling this story to some of my current coworkers. this is one that has still got me riled after leaving three years ago. basically what i’ve told them is a shorthand version of this very petty story. they all ask the same basic question “did she try make this as if i did something to her” or “was she trying to imply that there was something sexual”.

the answer to those question is, I have no idea. the basic story is that she ran to mgmt because i bumped into her to basically illustrate the pettiness of this story. and the worst part of this story is that the house manager – the no. 2 honcho at the theater – decided to handle this and this situation escalated. to be fair i was already not in a good state when this happened and the house manager has a tendency to handle things indelicately. this story will illustrate this.

this story started when i had to cook more pizzas due to a picky customer who complained that the pizza given to him was burned. so when i came back from behind the stand to hand him his pizza i was looking for him and he had walked off. just as i was going further into the front suddenly this young lady – we’ll call her kelly – was in front of me with her elbow in my chest. she said nothing and i just simply kept it moving thinking we both knew what happened.

allow me to briefly introduce kelly, physically she had been something to look at as far as personality she was young and often showed it. she often used her high-pitched and occasionally squeaky voice to complain. she may have on at least two other occasions used that voice on me to complain about something i.e. i wasn’t doing any work. one time she used her voice to mouth off on another male coworker who asked me and another coworker if we’d like to trade with him in his words “i can’t work with her”.

it was some time later that i was about to head to bathroom and i walked past customer service and h.m. bellowed behind his perch there “jack, did you bump into kelly”. when i answered in the affirmative his next question was “then why didn’t you say excuse me?” when he decided to start in on my right in the theater lobby while seated i heard kelly state “you’re being very rude jack”. basically this is how well that went

jack: ok how about this? i will say excuse me to you when you say excuse me to me. *to kelly

kelly: no because you were being very rude *to yours truly

jack: WHAT DO YOU MEAN RUDE?!?!?! *back to kelly

h.m.: walk away kelly, walk away

as you saw there i went off on her immediately and as she walked to the back i just simply asked h.m.: “YOU’RE TAKING THIS UP? REALLY? YOU’RE TAKING THIS UP?”. All he said was that well he was giving me the opportunity to make it right as there was no disagreement as to what happened. bad news is that since he got involved in something so petty now it’s taking on a different tone and hence why it got heated real quick. while i tried to remember this is the general manager’s #2 i was talking to i just couldn’t contain how out of line this was.

now granted she had every right to do what she did, this was clearly uncalled for. in my mind who got hurt and what exactly did i do for her not to be able to handle getting bumped into by yours truly. i have no idea if she wanted to suggest it was harassment or if she just had the need to complain about something which is more likely. and also was h.m. jumping on this because she was has favorite employee or had a serious crush on her that she decided to play off of one more time.

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superman triggered

regardless his involvement was a bad trigger and my voice raised to the point where he suggest i watch my tone. eventually after this he pulled me towards the back where i wasn’t backing down and i had no problem telling him “i don’t understand why she RAN to YOU!” and still he wants me to just say excuse me and i tell him what i told her “i’ll say excuse me to her when she says excuse me to me”. finally just to calm things down he quickly and loudly told me to put my hands down i’m being violent. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING VIOLENT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN VIOLENT?” if i was thinking about doing something when he said that i wanted to just give him a weak slap across the face just to illustrate a dumb point.

at this point, the general manager who for whatever reason was in the background walked up and ushered us into the office, finally. while i won’t discuss much about what was said in the office. i will say the GM approached this neutrally without pointing a finger at anyone. he did wonder what my problem was with saying excuse me to kelly. well here’s the answer i’ll tell you if i was at my wits end with “the show” and why sometimes fingers get pointed at me for some odd reason then how did a simple bump become a huge issue for the top two managers to address. also h.m. i always knew as a d*ck towards me so i saw this as another incident and chose a very small one thanks to a very complaining young lady.

eventually i finally went to the bathroom after being ushered out of the office so that the h.m and g.m. can further discuss the issue. when i got back behind the stand i was called back into the office with kelly so that the h.m can oversee us say excuse me to each other. and without being specific kelly had to say something before being cut off by the h.m. the h.m had to repeat a basic lie he wasn’t able to prove during this whole “fight” of sorts claiming “she said excuse me”. which he only said after i repeatedly  made my statement that “i’ll say excuse me to her, when she says excuse me to me”.

before this point i had an interview with a bank which i was still waiting on a decision. regardless this was just one sign that it was time for me to go. after this strange incident i made it a point to stay as far away from kelly as possible. was mostly successful until she finally cut her ties with “the show” later that summer.

crisis: past tense

Concession Counter at Movie Theater

i began to realize that i was in a bit of a crisis from roughly 2012 to 2014. this was the “streak era” and that crisis involved confidence. some of my coworkers weren’t confident in me because they wanted to create drama and sometimes that drama included me.

often i point the finger at the young girls who created their cliques and targeted people they don’t like. who knows what exactly their purpose was other than to flex their muscles but that’s what it is. the mgmt clique was another group that one had to be concerned about they actually could cost anyone their job and especially if they wanted to trust the accusation of the young clique.

working with people who are quick to throw you under the bus for the least reason causes a crisis of confidence. also, the general atmosphere among associates had been that we’re replaceable anyone could do the job. it doesn’t matter how well one may do the job, their attitude could easily become you may do it well but you’re expendable. when you think about it the cooks from the upstairs lounge learned this attitude and they all just quit, they were tired of it. all our mgmt did was find someone to replace them.

i was never confident that i was doing the job mgmt expected. what i faced is that even though i never got fired the job got done but you run into one person that picks over this & that. perhaps i may not often be a problem however when there is depending upon who’s on duty it gets magnified quick. there was a general issue with morale and mgmt of the time really wasn’t help. it doesn’t matter who you clamp down on!

another set-up when i was working at “the show” i was in my early 30s. just graduated from “mission college” was a bit optimistic about my future. i really believed that my degree would open some doors for me and sadly it didn’t open any during my time at “the show”. bad enough i was working at a movie theater but those who knew i had a college degree found a way to use it as a cheap shot. and towards the end my longevity was used as a cheap shot.

funny part of this story is that i rarely dreaded coming to “the show”, think about it. i had been doing it for five years almost and in some respects there had been far worse periods than the “streak era”. the only time i ever dreaded coming to work was when my brief time went on at “gotham bank”. i really dreaded going to work there until they cut me loose.

the “streak era” crisis was really i couldn’t GET OUT OF THERE. i had already decided i’m not going to leave the show unless i found another job during this period. this was my mindset, me getting fired didn’t enter into my thinking. i went to work with the belief that in order to find another job it was good to be working a job. unfortunately i fill out applications, get interviews and for a good period of time no job offers. essentially the crisis became why won’t employers hire me?

i suppose this is why i may still talk about “the show”. the moment i worked my final shift there really should be the end of the dwelling, but as established with me not so fast. there are plenty of stories to tell from my time. even if many of the people i worked with who caused problems only merge together with no distinctions between them.

now i can say that if yours truly deserved more i’m there now. i got something out of my time there, it helped me get to where i need to be now. here’s hoping i continue to learn these many lessons.