Question

There’s a young lady on facebook, we might trade messages every once in a while on facebook or instagram. A month or so ago she shared a post on her “story” which caused me to ask if this was her situation. Basically the story stated that one shouldn’t “miss their blessing assuming I’m in a relationship”.

There are pics of her online with a gent usually wearing the same attire which is indicative of her status. I mean unless they’re together or otherwise that other party swings a different direction there is no reason for two “buddies” to be wearing the same attire or even the same t-shirt.

Well she confirmed her status and stated that she only reposted something from another instagrammer – which unfortunately I can’t find – that she follows. In this case my mind begins to run and so far I haven’t followed up other than this blog post.

Asking this question seems to be a dicey subject for yours truly. A few women were cagey or coy in my experience. For example with Nicole she was coy about her status until my attempts with her fell so far apart there was no chance of recovery no matter what I did. She had reached the end of her patience with me.

Others might outright say it’s none of your business though in one case it was apparent from her facebook account that she was indeed with someone and had children to prove it. However this young lady confirmed being just about 40 that she’s single and the guy she’s been snapping shots with isn’t her boyfriend.

When faced with such knowledge and a woman’s willingness to answer one way or another after an inquiry. And with a positive answer to such an inquiry – ex. she stated she’s single especially. It causes me to just say hmm in the unlikely event that something might come of this which is a long distance kind of thing how do I take it there without causing her to back off. That’s sort of my history also.

If you want to know something about her, one connection is that she went to Hillman College. We didn’t really connect until long after she graduated. Surely I poked her on facebook and she seemed open to connecting online which is interesting. I wish we met while we were still in school at least although in her case I was just getting started and she was about to finish.

I inquired about her denomination during Lent and she answered. I’m not religious, however, when it comes to Lent the ash on forehead was often thought of as a Catholic thing, hint she’s not Catholic. Of course yours truly has to state I’m just not that religious and rarely attend church.

I may have made reference to her age, but as stated my mind is running on this. If nothing else perhaps this could be a friendship of sorts. Perhaps I learn about her and she learns about me.

We’ll leave it there.

Savings revisited

The post that I wrote over a year ago with that title is a tad tongue in cheek with the added reasoning, that I saved some money at that point in time. This whole episode started off strange and took place during the time that the Hustler started working at The Show over nine years ago.

I probably could’ve revisited this odd episode last month but never got around to it, and note I went through a whole month without mentioning him. Either way it was strange to see a graying older man working with us in uniform at that point in time. Yes we need to work and get a job where we could find one, however, how did things kick off in the long run he found out about me and I let him in.

Allow me to state admittedly the video is a representation of the “let me in” phrase. More than it’s meant to represent the Hustler. What I will admit though is that in my post at the end of last year about his last attempt at contact I had referred to him as a fiend as opposed to being a friend. Moving on…

I told him about some minor aspirations I had while we were talking, he seemed strangely curious about me in the beginning. He wanted to know why I never got promoted there, well to start aside from trying to be a “crew leader” the year before evidently they weren’t hiring for that at all. I also learned at various points during that year after his arrival that he was under consideration for a supervisor role, more on that later.

Anyway my tactical error in the beginning was I gave him a ride home in my mother’s vehicle. For whatever reason it gave him license to ask a number of very rude and personal questions such as “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” He knew I got a degree from a liberal arts college and indicated that I was interested in teaching and remember I just met him “NO! You can’t handle it!” Those were two moments that I could’ve kicked him right out of the car and left him on the expressway to figure out for himself how to get home, but I didn’t I went to his house on the east side of the city.

As I got closer to his part of the city I remember that he complained on the way about all those shuttle buses along the way. There was a concert taking place at an abandoned property the city hoped to redevelop and those buses were there to take care of those people. He had nothing positive to say about that at all. I dropped him off and just remember yours truly had to work with him.

At some point we exchanged facebook friend requests and phone numbers because I didn’t mind being a good coworker. I might need something and as it turned out he needed something. He did call me one evening before coming into work and he was already going to call in a favor, he wanted to borrow some money.

This is where I send you to the Savings post to see the story itself. I just wanted to give some background on the situation. Now I want to give you a conclusion of what happened in the weeks afterwards.

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Well, I didn’t work too hard at reconnecting with him. However, I was never forceful as far as telling him to buzz off, he kept finding reasons to come around. One day on the floor he walked right up to me as I was on my cell phone at that moment, I look up and he asked with some emotion “Why don’t you speak to me?” Translation, you owe me your time and I demand it. He reminds me that I have his phone number and facebook to be in touch.

For the most part I avoided him after that and one night he just walked up to me and asked for a ride home. I gave him a ride home, again had no real wish to say no. The fact that I left him at the theater after asking for some money should’ve gave him the answer he needed but we’re talking about Planet Hustle. That was when I told him I shouldn’t be driving anyone home in my mother’s car per her instruction he seemingly understood, but was later able to get that privilege back. There was a period of time where I limited my interactions with him but if that paternal instinct kicks in he’ll come around.

As stated the red flags were flying and in light of the changing situation at the job during that particular summer I ignored them. He served his purpose during that time, but found myself wondering if he might have indirectly caused some things. He’s not particularly loyal unless he’s getting what he needs and even then he’s still not loyal. Should’ve learned Jack V…well it took some intervening issues years later for me to realize this.

What helped to turn the situation around for the next year was his plug to be a theater manager at a neighborhood cinema. I put my eggs all in one basket for that one and didn’t get it – the start of the streak era. One night we were working and we were discussing future opportunities with this local theater and out of nowhere he states “I just don’t get you

At that moment I look back confused and he stated “Sorry for changing the subject, but you keep pushing me away”. I would say this was the moment the distance began to change. He didn’t want any distance and largely we got closer.

Between summer of 2011 and roughly into the fall of 2017 with him around were some odd years. I’m still learning to beware of who I allow in my space and what information to share. And thankfully this has been one year where as far as contact it’s been largely quiet from him.

Oh wait, forgot to explain. I heard various things about Anthony becoming a supervisor at the Show especially from Henry’s crew. Who knows how far that could’ve went but I’ve heard more on that from Ant himself since we both left the Show. He attributed never getting close to that role as they couldn’t control him. He also let out that he wanted a certain wage in order to take on that role. Remember he likes to negotiate and insure that others know to negotiate as well. Evidently the bosses at the theater said never mind.

Either way I had to explain what I wrote earlier in this post without having to later write another post about the Hustler.

Next month

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I’ve been working on some posts to round out the month of February and haven’t quite settled them as of yet. There are a few ideas of posts to share for next month as we’re one more day away from March at this point.

Some of the posts are work related with the ongoing commentary with my time at the Hole and seemingly the current situation being away from there for over two years. Yes of course there are some things going on at my current assignment. However, I’ll have to admit there isn’t much drama to report at the moment. That’s always good.

I found out two of the people who I worked with at the Hole has moved on. One moved on to another store in a position he sought over two years ago. It surprises me actually because he’s sort of the stubborn type and puts everything such as knowing the leadership into his decision. Perhaps he still had that, but either way he achieved his objective and I’m glad.

Another took a position in another department at the Hole. He still got the role he was looking for in my old department, however, he had to take it on in another department. I’m curious out that came about. I’m still somewhat in contact with him, however, my style is usually texting and he’s not very forthcoming sometimes. Either way I’m sure both were seeking an “upgrade” more than the situation in flux at the Hole or even in my old department.

Also I kind of wanted to expand upon something that happened just about six years ago and then connect it with some of the “drama” with my old fiend. Six years ago the Hustler was all over me with regards to making a move to Finer Foods from The Show. If I did a horrible job at following up he’ll start trying to call and text about what’s going on with it. Then I tried it his way and it still didn’t work out. Doesn’t matter, I needed to call them and worry them some more about an interview.

Over two years later after those events he started over about Finer Foods. While his situation has changed as he was restarting with that company and I was working at Fresh Foods his campaign was now about how much more cash I could be making at his company. It really didn’t interest me because I remember the last time he couldn’t let it go and I had tried it his way – it didn’t happen. I knew the devil I was working with at the time and was OK with that and if I wanted to make a change I’d get out of retail altogether.

Still once the “blackout” began it sort of stifled his determined campaign. It’s funny that he wasn’t as all over me for another job he tried to help me get and also softly encouraged me to worry them about it. The signals I got was they will call me (from Anthony) and then I never heard from them and then if they never called me to call them. I had to decide if it was all worth it…

I also have one other post to share. On New Years Eve I sighted D.B. on the train on my way into downtown. He didn’t greet me the way he seems to have since he simply doesn’t want to act like a human. Something stopped him, I don’t know if it was how I glanced around the environment and identified him only to just quickly turn my attention to my phone. However, it ended the way it should’ve silence between two people who had many serious clashes at a job far far away. We’re not friends even if he had that odd pretense, I definitely had no reason. Still it’s over now.

Hopefully we’ll cover some new ground next month and I look forward to it!

Instagram

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend. I just wanted to share my instagram. Right now I’m just sharing a mostly memes and perhaps a few shots around Chicago. I hope that if you’re interested you would connect.

Not much going on with me this weekend other than work.

Qualified yet single

 Well MGTOW101, actually Miggy101 seems to be back though I don’t know the true status of this channel but you can officially follow Miggy at Men101 on YouTube.

Today I wanted to share this video akin to another video shared here which actually involved single women still look for Mr. Right. They are as accomplished as the men you see above making good money with education credentials and what not,  however, they can’t seem to connect with Mr. Right. Alas I wish I can show you that video, it’s since been taken down along with MGTOW101.

The video you see comes from a documentary about a group of men from different American cities who have dropped out of the dating scene. I’ve yet to see this documentary and am curious about it now. Men who are “qualified” to be in a relationship and yet they remain single why?

From what can be gleaned in the above clip many of them are focused on themselves. Other may well have experienced hurt at the hands of a woman at some point in the past. Others have reached a point in their lives where they’ve become successful that they’ve been forced to put up their shields. They don’t want to be in relationships with just anyone so that forces them to be more cautious. One man outright states that he wants a woman to be like his perfect mother.

Just as the women above who are successful who aren’t able to connect with a good man. These men are sort of in the same boat. These men are “qualified” however that’s defined to be in a relationship. So the question could come up is whether or not these men have an inability to really connect with the right woman. I’ll bet money someone out there have started to determine this in spite of some things in their life going right. They’re successful and yet they’re alone….

If you want to know about yours truly, I’ve established once that I’ve been doing my own things since before MGTOW was a thing. At this point I feel as if I’m in a better space now than I had been once I graduated from college ten years ago. There was a period where I had been stagnating, but feel as if I can truly develop jobwise and hopefully it won’t stop there.

Perhaps I missed the point where I’ll meet the right woman, however, I think I can get to the point where I’ll be ready for her. Meanwhile I want to continue to focus on being a better man which is what one of those men stated in the video above. And hopefully in a few years I can be a hot-shot corporate executive making good money.

Online dating

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I sent a couple of messages to a couple of women whom I’m connected with on facebook and they just so happened to have attended that all-girls Hillman College near my own. Now in some instances I’ve done this in the past find some girl I’m connect with on facebook who attended that school on a dating app and then try to contact them.

Often nothing seems to come of it however. A few of them I was just too slow on. Some might respond but otherwise generally nothing really comes of it. Perhaps trade a few messages before either one of us just tapers off and we stop. Of course as the man it’s always important for me to keep the interest going. And the main thing is to turn the key so that I could get something out of it and no I don’t mean sex.

I ried with one girl who might have taken a quick trip to Chicago recently. She was a teacher who actually lived in Chicago at one point and then from what I could tell moved to Georgia later. I think I’ve actually seen her around on campus during my time there and even graduated the same year as yours truly. However when she finally messaged me back she hit me with only a hi so I could try to keep this going but since I’ve also decided she’s really not all that…. NEXT!!!!

The other one was much older though both of these women are in their 30s. From what I can tell on facebook she’s educated with her PhD. I also see that she’s very tall and I’m a shorty so that’s an uphill battle already. Knowing me if she makes note of it – if she’s the mouthy type at any age – then I could turn around and state how much I like that she’s taller. There are plenty of petite women walking around the tall or curvy women one just doesn’t see them often enough.

All the same she gives me a more enthusiastic response. She explains how short her trip to Chicago was and the weather. Now I’m curious where she calls home while she’s not traveling. And I wonder if she really likes the cold weather.

I could talk to her, and hope that perhaps she wants to accelerate things. Of course I’m dealing with a woman in her thirties she might have a very different agenda from mine personally. The older you are I feel as if the more time you take in deciding who you want to be with. Me, I’m a virgin and since I have very little experience with women perhaps I am in a rush to be with someone. It needs not be sex of course just to be able to say I got someone and perhaps I have to plan for the time when it turns out that it won’t last.

Both of these women I found on a dating app and just decided to just find a way to make a plunge. I could note this is how I knew they were in Chicago, unfortunately I have no way of knowing if they saw my profile and chose to swipe left. Perhaps to message them when they’re on my friends list is too simple a gamble. There’s a huge possibility that it could backfire as most women even if they post their social media links might get funny if a man tried to contact them off the dating app.

Another thing I might be concerned about is how I used facebook back when they had the poke function. I was able to connect with plenty of young women that way especially when the site first got popular. Some of my activities, especially with those women I had liked even if I never saw them personally gained me a reputation among some young women at “Hillman”. Perhaps even my reputation with Nicole at one point may have given me a not very good reputation.

Sooooo, it’s possible I need a newer dating pool of available women. On the other hand in order for me to get out there I’d have to take some risks. It means I should connect with those “Hillman” women and it also means I have to connect with women outside of that. Still however you approach dating it remains hard. It was hard to get out there as a teenager, especially if you might have had some high standards and little idea about dating. It’s especially hard now that I’m getting older…

Anyway, perhaps this strategy of trying to use a personal connection might be the trick, but as things seem to have happened over the years expect some disappointments.

Adventures in online dating

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It’s addicting to swipe right or left on either Tinder or Bumble and of course as happens with both sites what you hope to find you really don’t. As it happens you might want to make something happen, but it’s also up to them to make something happen. Someone else could capture their attention and they go ghost. Another thing could happen is what you’re looking for (in my case love) is not exactly what they’re looking for.

I’ve ran into women who are looking for some business relationship (and no it’s not outright sexual). I matched with one young lady who was looking for a photographer. So still one really has to discern who might get them close to love or sex.

As it happens when it comes to women in real life or online I’ve made some mistakes with online dating. I’ve learned you can make a move too quickly asking questions about jobs or getting in touch via social networking. In another case I’ve learned you can make a mistake bragging about your future career goals – ex. a young woman who seems successful herself unmatched me once I expressed the goal of “running the place” (referring to my current job).

Anyway, there was one recent exchange with a 19-yr-old girl. She’s beautiful with a nice set of lips and I’ve been dreaming of snagging a 19-yr-old girl then the old man kicks in. A thirty-something making out with a teenaged girl, I don’t know how I feel about that. I can still say I kissed a girl for the first time, however, I’ll probably be seen as a creepy old man taking advantage of a very young woman.

However, I’ll admit that the conversation with her is interesting. She seems quite sarcastic or sassy, but strangely enough she’s giving me rope to hang myself so to speak. She could’ve unmatched me and at times I give her ammunition to just end the exchange. Somehow she hasn’t and has remained available on Tinder. I send a msg she would respond. Not sure how to play this, but with the age difference I have to avoid directly turning this into a relationship. Perhaps she’s not ready for what I’m looking for, and I may have to keep this friendly more than anything. It would be cool to meet her though.

Finally a funny thing happened on Bumble this month. A young lady from a nearby suburb matched with me and asked me about my perfect day. I replied with being with someone I truly care about and doing some of the things I enjoy doing. Then noted what kinds of foods I like to eat, I noted Italian food and then she notes she likes Italian food. Then in a first with my experience with online dating shares a pic of her boobs.

Those knockers with nice areolas were a bit scrunched and hanging over what appeared to be a Mickey Mouse shirt. I feel as if she jumped the gun as far as showing off her assets, and when it happened I acted like a huge nerd. Regardless I can say some woman on a dating app has deemed me worthy enough of showing her goods!

friend request

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remember cousin natalie? someone referred to her as fake in a fairly recent comment to a post where i discuss one episode years ago about her. well she sent me a fb friend request.

huh???

i didn’t think that would happen i noted one of our last interactions. point the finger at me for both of them, but i already knew i wasn’t feeling it. however, due to her rather gregarious personality she thrives on trying to reach out to me.

what probably doesn’t help is that my mother is now retired and also a year ago had her hip fracture which put her out of action a bit last year. regardless no message no warning just send request, although i didn’t always give warning when i sent a friend request. 😛

all the same because i’ve essentially decided i need not connect with her online her request will remain on the backburner. if i did accept i will take great pains to block her from seeing my timeline – not that there’s much to see. also she won’t see what i’m really into.

that’s what i have done for my brother and his two sons for example.

sorority-sisters

anyway another tidbit cousin natalie and aunt laura are sorority sisters and have been very close. however as natalie is considered far more gregarious while laura’s personality is much different. as a result laura’s attempt at closeness with me is even more awkward.

 

random

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on saturday night one of the ladies in the other dept noted that she remembered that becky bought me a cupcake and it had writing on it. the young lady who recently got promoted to supervisor we’ll call her gerry was in fact there that day, her coworker mary – aka crazy vibes – wrote on that cake although gerry didn’t exactly remember.

part of me could take this to mean something. that is well if i’m not a very important part of her work life let’s say then what happened last year was quickly forgotten. it happens often enough especially when i make the wrong move then someone is mad at me. then for a minute the relationship goes cold or that person needs an excuse anyway.

gerry i’ve been led to believe is in her 30s and outside of my race. for some reason i’ve had my eye on her, but unsure how to approach. in fact, i alluded to her in “awkward” a while ago an unsolicited friend request from someone who used to work at our store “professed” his love for her and she accepted a date with him.

physically she’s not perfect, but decent. she doesn’t seem like the friendliest person in the world – she’s not mean or anything – perhaps temperament wise she’s similar to me. although i’ve always imagined myself with a more extroverted person at least as a wife, but this isn’t about marriage it’s about getting to know these women before i even get to that step.

i suggested she finds me on fb and perhaps i’ll make it easier for her. we have mutual friends including becky so it may not be a tough sell. perhaps the next time i see her i’ll give her the e-mail address to find me and see what happens. or more likely since we do have several mutual friends i’ll just have to do the manly thing and aggressively add her to see what happens.

either way the reason i gave was i learned on that evening that her birthday is fairly close to mine. so that means we’re both sagittarius…hmmmm.

possibility

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A few days ago I ran into one of the many young women I only know through fb. We’ll call her Andrea and who knows where she had been coming from but we ran into each other in downtown Chicago. She apparently recognized me as someone from our respective colleges – i.e. I attended that liberal arts college & she attended the all-girls college.

To be honest it caught me off-guard so I didn’t adjust accordingly. Andrea is a petite woman with full lips and on this day sporting braids. She said she was in town from New York visiting family. She is originally from Chicago and said she’s staying at a nearby hotel at least until the weekend.

When she saw me I was just leaving the movies nearby and told her what I saw weirded me out. It was funny but just weird. She was aware of another movie of local interest about the Obamas and their love story. Sorry to have disappointed her but I didn’t go see it.

Either way we had a nice chat and spoke of finding my way to New York to catch a tv taping in future. Possibly SNL although I no longer consider myself a fan of that program but something worth doing absolutely. Other than that I suggest we keep in touch through fb and we parted.

Also should be noted that we had over the years talked to each other on fb. Sometimes it’s as much sizing each other up more than anything but sometimes my idea of being a potential match is funny. Perhaps I’m looking for pretty girls who won’t give me the time of day.

Either way just for an exercise what if I chose to pursue this young lady?