You make the call revisited

I wanted to touch upon this for a while since 10 years ago was when not only yours truly first ran into Anthony the Fiend. I also ran into this young woman named Candace. You may have seen a post about this, but it has occurred to me that both of their approaches were similar.

Both came out of nowhere. Candace was more flirty in her “first” approach stating repeatedly that “You know you heard me talking to you“. She was being playful at work after I never really acknowledged her greeting on one summer afternoon in an air conditioned cinema. To be honest it was just an irritating thing to be faced with as this came out of nowhere.

Oh yeah I forgot to note the initial episode I wrote during the first year of this blog “You make the call”. It underscores her relentlessness during that summer although as it turned out back then she gave up. She lasted only that particular summer in 2011. She gained some privileges along the way and for my unwillingness to just give her the attention she desired evidently she found ways to make me pay for it later down the line.

The more I ignored her advances the more she may have turned on me. I was just very unwilling to communicate my annoyance with her behavior. Her behavior wasn’t conducive to her desired effect whatever that was and it clearly wasn’t to see me just walk away with no response. To be fair, perhaps I was rude and cold to her and wrong for me to expect her to read my mind. Who knows if she’d respect the the knowledge that her approach just wasn’t working.

I surmise that many of the younger generation of women are a bit more bold and assertive in their desires. Many of them don’t understand that you can’t just treat men the way the women in their lives – presumably momma – treated men. You can’t go out of your way to bicker with them and/or perhaps you can’t just go around chasing them down as I felt Candice had in my case.

Oh yeah I forgot about the comparison of approaches. While Candice wanted to start off as playful and flirty to a guy who basically just met her and vaguely knows anything about her. The Fiend was certainly aggressive and assertive in his approach, even outspoken once he learned of where I went to college and my plans beyond the theater. Just remember the episode where I’m taking him home he clearly overstepped some boundaries to the point where I really should’ve left him on the expressway.

Of course since I never exactly learned Candace’s motives, I eventually determined the Fiend’s. To start he was clearly looking for someone he can mooch off of and as Candice had been that summer, he was certainly relentless looking for any means to connect with yours truly. If he found out I liked porn, he’d approach me on it shockingly letting me know who his favorite x-rated performers were. He wanted to connect as she had tried and in the long run the Fiend had far more success until he left The Show two years later.

What I can say about Candice is that on the surface she was a very beautiful women who at the time was 19-20 years of age. She had a nice shape, nice long hair that she often pulled back into a ponytail, and personality wise she was very friendly or even approachable. She expressed her anger towards me on occasion as one afternoon at work she tried to speak and I ignored her. She snapped back at me in front of customers just trying to get a response which she got a very tense response and she tried to repeat her greeting. I respond with a quiet “Oh” and that was the extent of our interaction on that day.

I find myself wondering how much different my story would’ve been if I had been more friendly and approachable to Candice. Would Anthony have still interfered – and chances are he would if he could get away with it. Perhaps I would’ve never offered a ride to the Fiend, perhaps Candice would be getting rides instead. Perhaps Candace was also less than honest about her intentions like the Fiend.

Because of who Candace was associated with sometimes I wonder about that. Allegedly a manager called out for her when she no call no show. She seemed to be in with a certain crowd that included my one-off foe. Regardless as it turned out her time at The Show proved to be very brief and she got her privileges while there.

I did note that I saw her the next year – 2012. I don’t believe this to be apocryphal. She was on the train headed further north. I saw some key things from her like a tote bag she always liked to carry, she had long fingernails, I was pretty sure it was her. When we make eye contact she would often just break the gaze. Perhaps she just simply had enough of me and besides I had my chance and wouldn’t take it. So far that was the last time I had seen her.

I hope you read the original You make the call post

Disappointment

EDITOR’S NOTE: I had to repost this and needed to add some details. Also forgot to use a title so I just opted to do a copy & paste and repost fresh.

Well I was disappointed to find out that the job denied my application to be “team receiver”. I kept getting told there was a hold-up as far as going forward and eventually my boss told me that I “would be set up to fail if they offered me the position”. They mentioned that my pacing is not good that the load that I’ve been tasked to put away for most of the summer is hardly finished. And the assistant mgrs have determined that they probably would have conversations with me about why a load wasn’t finished and other housekeeping tasks.

The boss also recognized that they hadn’t done a very good job of preparing me for this future role. He somewhat expected the original team receiver to come back to his position. At this point it seems as if that’s not going to happen he might be going to the butcher dept going forward. That’s where he’s been scheduled since he returned to work in July.

A lot of what I did for most of the past summer was not only try to put things away but also help out as much as I could on the floor. We were understaffed we had a few people who either quit or moved on. One colleague went to another dept. So all summer long things have been a bit tight. They mentioned that my “pacing” wasn’t that great and that there was a certain amount of time I should be done with the load. All I could do was try to make my pacing a lot better.

So my application was rejected about a week after I applied. A few weeks later I see another position of interest for team receiver which would take me back to my original dept however at another store. In fact the store where my former boss runs the operation. And what makes this a bit more appealing is that it cuts the commute in half and this is definitely a promotion!

Another thing to consider with being a buyer/receiver is that for the most part I’d have to start early. I hadn’t really done that on a consistent basis in a while 7 AM is hard but try at least 5 AM or in the case of the position I applied for 4 AM. Very hard and yet because I wanted the job I was gearing up for it, however, I still rely on public transportation which makes getting to work that early very hard. I need to rectify that in the long run with my own car as my mother even as she gets older needs her own ride.

Right now I’m just thinking about it as I just don’t enjoy just rushing into things.

Recently the new assistant manager from my old team asked point blank “Do you want to come back?” I hesitated to answer at first and while he was quick to answer no, my answer was for the right position. Telling him I don’t want to come back and do exactly the same thing I had been doing. I’d consider a supervisory position or certainly being a buyer/receiver so far if there is a need there they haven’t posted accordingly. However just as my dept is understaffed so are they which prompted the question surely.

I see as of now the number of positions available in the company as of now from an average of 100 at one point in this state to the last time I checked over 500. If you’re looking for any job now is the time, take one and keep looking for the one you really want.

Meanwhile after these disappointments I’m starting to go back to my philosophy of a job is nothing more than a means to an end. Fresh Foods Inc has upped the game as far as how much money I can make and great benefits and a very easy way of putting food on the table. I just find myself wondering what’s next for me now, finally.

To go back to the well for a moment, for a few months this year I continued to write about the Fiend’s strange campaign to move on to Finer Foods in his words yours truly could make more money. To this day I have no idea about his justification for that. My emphasis was to cut this off and usually my answer was it would take something real crazy for me to even consider it.

In 2017, I think some momentum was on my side though little did yours truly recognize a brick wall was ahead the momentum began to sputter. Before that I was good or so I thought. I had to keep telling the Fiend about this opportunity and it seemed he blew it off. In fact when I tried to tell him I’d be learning about buying he instead steer the conversation to if you come to Finer’s you’d make more money. When he did that I snapped at him but due to his bullheaded nature that wasn’t enough to cut that off.

I’ve always surmised in recent years that if he was a bit envious of how I was doing there and without him it was also that this was just a diversion/distraction. Perhaps he didn’t want to hear my good news. I feel as if it’s very natural to expect those you consider friends – not that he ever was – about the good news. Still as he stated that the mgmt at the Hole liked me and wanted to show me how to do different things, he suggested that I could make money jumping ship elsewhere.

Then I got to thinking about it in recent years, what exactly would I be doing if I had jumped ship for “more money”? Would I still be working deli? My assumption was that to justify more money would be my experience at Fresh Foods. However, since this was never an option I was serious about this was not something worth pursuing.

It just informs me that Anthony had very little regard for what I hoped to accomplish. And if I had seriously pursued getting a position at Finer’s, perhaps there’s a possibility that while making more money I’d be back where I started. What would I have accomplished if I’m still at the same level I had been since graduating college.

Jack V wants to move forward and not stagnate. I left The Show because I stagnated – and often I cited stagnant wages especially and certainly there was no growth. What sense does it make for yours truly to just stay in the grocery business make a few more cents and remain stuck changing companies.

The brick wall I referred to was the “Reign of Error”. In the context of the aftermath of that period was when I considered the job is a mean to an end. That was the time to really explore what else I could do to make money. It’s time to look into those options again!

Psychology

I’ve had to rewrite this post several times and to be honest it just seems to be a longer post for someone who is no longer considered part of my future. I met the Fiend a decade ago and my “situationship” won’t just be characterized as hell it was just a situation. The situation was just to his liking and he helped created it and yours truly just fell in.

I’ve been told that the Fiend is something of a narcissist. Well I don’t have the means, training, or ability to diagnose him as such. Some aspects of his behavior seems to inform of a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist spectrum. For my own purposes his behavior fall in the line I usually just stop at which is a user.

I do think he looks for people he can get something off of. If you remember he’s said to be engaged to be married. In my humble opinion he does seem to place a lot of value on sex. He wants to know when you lost your virginity and me not having much success or even seeking much success in that area it seems on some level he looks down on me for that. And that’s just a start to perhaps his real feelings about yours truly.

I wish it hadn’t took me this long to recognize that in some way his true feelings about Jack V were never good. It causes me to dispel the notion that we were ever friends. The fact that we even got close was because more than likely there was something in it for him. It could be a ride home or money from me for his needs.

It hits me that I can call him the Hustler because he wanted something. The Fiend is everything else perhaps his reasoning for why he had such a low opinion of me in reality. There were times he told me that he liked me personally and on the other hand he outrights lets me know his true thoughts about me. His true thoughts let me know that he looks at me in the worst ways.

I feel as if I encountered such behavior before perhaps in school. The Fiend will just discard you until you’re needed and it’s not about a final score. Perhaps that’s why when I started my blackout, he continued to try establishing further contact. I’m sure in spite of his negative notions about me, he just had a problem with me not responding to him. Perhaps it was my duty to respond when he comes calling.

Just consider a post I did earlier this summer hearing about him really talking about yours truly to another ex-coworker. He’s probably upset that in his words with no contact that I just dropped him.

Another way of looking at this is that perhaps the negativity he drops onto yours truly is really the negativity he feels himself. This same coworker believes the Fiend has some of his own issues with self-hate. Perhaps he hates his own background (possibly racial), has his own inadequacies (sexual or financial) or just hates his situation in general. All I can say at this point is that all of them are only his problem as far as Jack V is concerned.

I’ve been hearing that the wedding for the Fiend is now off because he couldn’t help but cheat. Not sure if this can be verified independently, however, if that’s truly what’s going on it’s no surprise. Anthony did show that he has a roving eye drooling over women he views as attractive. He states matter of factly how he can manipulate women into having sex with him – like it’s normal – and he portrays himself as not above satisfying his needs with women who are already in a relationship.

Also stated before I just don’t think he has any true idea about being in relationships romantic or friendship. I do think he’s a user whether for material things or just to satisfy his own needs. Beyond that perhaps it’s possible that in reality he’s just a lot more lonely than he realizes.

Oh yeah forgot one final piece to his psychology. Dominance and control are my favorite two terms as part of his fiend persona. One time we were talking and I got smart with him and he raised his voice with “DUDE!” because while I have to tolerate his personality he often can’t seem to tolerate mine. And his next statement was “If you don’t do it to your mother don’t do it to me.”

That was something when he feels as if I’m out of line he started saying. If you don’t do it to your mother why would you do it to me. My response was exactly how I began to read it.

“You’re not my dad” I responded. And he gets defensive saying “I didn’t say that”. The bottom line is that his personality quirk of dominance dictate that I have to treat him as if he was above me. I’m his lesser than and he more often than not conducted himself accordingly with yours truly.

And I consider that fact kind of hilarious when I recognize now that in the very beginning he chased me down and not the other way around. He gave me a reason to steer clear and he continued to come around until he got what he sought. And I didn’t do much pushing back even when knowing what he was doing.

August 2021

Well I don’t know it’s been missed but let me update you all. Yours truly was associate of the week last month at my store. An unexpected accomplishment that came with a gift card for groceries. Made sure my boss allowed me the email that announced this honor. Perhaps after 10 years of working a regular job this was a compliment to yours truly.

For those of you just starting out, just come to work don’t try to be perfect. Sooner or later someone will notice it not to say no one ever has ever for me, however, consider that you will work with people who won’t appreciate you no matter what.

It seemed changing departments even for this pandemic might have been a good move hopefully to take me to the next level. Time will tell on that, however, I think things started getting rough in the other dept by the time the change occurred. Not necessarily to reign of error levels but close. Perhaps this was a good thing although I wasn’t happy about it for months after it happened. Though I’m still looking for the right opportunity to return.

A colleague from my old dept pulled me aside and offered me an “that a boy” for that accomplishment and she believed if I stayed on that team I’d have been stuck. I grew even more away from that environment. Noted that one of the people who we worked with just always seemed to act like they were threatened. No one can do anything to help or anything without them accusing her colleagues of making her seem incompetent. That person had some issues and thankfully they have since moved on. However while there that person just wasn’t very happy there and it often showed.

Of course there are other examples of people whom I worked with who foot that bill with varying degrees of pleasant/unpleasantness. Some of them were older and quite a few were younger. Most did a lot of complaining and quite a few made some boasts while they complained. Some knew to stay out of trouble and quite a few still liked to act as if they have their run of the place. Very few come up with a plan to leave and execute it.

It’s very easy to stay in one place and be very comfortable. I’d say as long as your making good money stick around, the moment your pay stagnates move on. Even if you’re happy with your pay or even growth, perhaps there’s something else you’d rather do you can always work towards that. At this point that’s my goal!

This month my mother and I will be going out of town for a reunion in an exotic location. Nope not the Carribean or anywhere outside the country. We’re having a reunion somewhere that has no ties to any family that we know of. It’s rarity as usually the reunions are organized where family lives. I told my mother she should get vaxxed me I just plan to wear a face covering and will only rest easy once we get home. If we had gotten her car serviced we could’ve drove as it’s not that far away from Chicago where this reunion will take place.

Perhaps another tale of awkwardness to come?

Beyond that not a whole lot to report. You probably already knew this.

As always stay optimistic even if a lot of the things I discuss on here doesn’t seem very optimistic.

Embargo

A few weeks ago I learned something about the store mgr who fired me just about four years ago, Morley. You may have seen a quick post about that just about two years ago entitled Domino. Right now my plan is to share that information a bit later in a post to revisit that episode.

This information is regarding Morley’s removal from the company in 2019 and was received from a supervisor at work. I don’t know how he knows this information as I opted not to ask any further questions. Just know that this supervisor knows about what was going on up there about some of the managers. The first time we spoke about Morley I made sure to note that he got let go and the supervisor used his thumb to say out! Sort of like an umpire in baseball.

We went further to talk about another guy we knew Ruthless Roger. I’ve told him what I knew although what was omitted was how rough my relationship became with /goofball. Hearing this supervisor, the idea seemed to have been no one liked him. His personality was the type where he needed to come back down to earth and we generally agree that whatever happened at the Hole sent Rog crashing back down to the ground. Another thing is that as a manager he just wasn’t that good and a lot of people picked up on it.

I even told this supervisor that when our store receiver arrived from the Hole she saw me in my dept at the time and wondered “How did you wind up here?” My answer was it wasn’t my choice and her next question “Was it Roger?” My answer to that is yes & no, as yours truly were having some issues and Rog just didn’t give a $h!t. The supervisor just responded everyone knew as in knew something was up.

I even told the supervisor that a supervisor I worked with at the Hole offered not long before getting rehired that Roger was definitely on the verge of getting fired. Basically just a guess, anyone who worked with him knew that becoming a dept mgr wasn’t going to work out well for him. This is why we could call him Ruthless, however, how ruthless was he if he crashed and burned.

Which leads to the next part of this dialogue, I promised this supervisor to tell him why yours truly left the Hole (that promise was ultimately fulfilled). This promise was made because it was recognized by both of us had said more than enough about “Ruthless”. In this supervisor’s words we shouldn’t give him the glory by talking about him. Even if his attempt at moving up blew up in his face, he already has enough of a massive ego that perhaps he shouldn’t even be thought about anymore.

Perhaps this is one way of closing the loop on ’17. It wasn’t until recently that I recognize is as a year of calamity. A friendship that never should’ve happened started to get strained to the point of no return. The job that seemed to have gone very well just turned 180 degree got me dismissed in part due to the mgmt change with my team. My mother still having health challenges eventually retired because she lost her job at a bank that failed. Some unusual turn of events made worse that I eventually lost my job near the end of that year. It was a calamity and a slow burn.

I’ve written about the whole Reign of Error in various iterations since learning Rog was no longer the dept mgr at the Hole. And as far as the more recent series of Reign of Error posts my feeling is there hasn’t been a very adequate ending to that. Perhaps there isn’t a need, the ending is that yours truly returned to Fresh Foods and found out that /goofball got demoted from dept mgr to supervisor and eventually left the company.

Since that time yours truly received a number of accolades in addition to making over 10K associate hours and was made associate of the week this month. If my time at the Hole ushered in for my the so-called big money years, my second stint is even more so and I’m still not done. And another thing is that yours truly cut out the deadweight that only served to eat both positive energy and finances because he had none.

And the deadweight – well he’s been mentioned enough on this blog to be honest – yours truly still has his thoughts about him. Perhaps this has been said enough times, however, it will soon be time to close the loop on that individual as well. Meanwhile I’ll warn you, there is another post coming about the deadweight in the future.

Oh yeah the “embargoed’ information about Morley expect to see that in October which would be the two year point of his dismissal from the Hole. In fact this is what I had told the supervisor. Yours truly was looking up jobs on Fresh’s social network saw Morley’s store mgr job was up for bid. A colleague who was still there had sent a meme-like msg to me and I replied back that the store mgr at the Hole was open. The colleague responded “Uh yeah. Morley got fired on Tuesday for reasons unknown”. This was when the supervisor at my current assignment told me what he knew. It still blew me away, however, you will know in the next few months.

Crisis past tense “shoot”

The post I wrote just about four years ago was really about me leaving The Show. There was a time I just felt pressure the question is from whom. Mostly external, and yet I won’t say I didn’t put any pressure on myself.

This post is really addressed towards Anthony he put on some pressure on his own, but I won’t say that others such as mgmt or coworkers weren’t doing the same. In Anthony’s case he’s stated for years he didn’t understand why I was working there – then again it could be said he doesn’t understand a lot of things. As for everyone else perhaps they felt like I didn’t belong there anyway, they wanted what they wanted for a coworker and evidently I wasn’t it. Whatever that it was.

There was a time during the streak era where I waxed and waned on leaving. Once I made up my mind that certain goals weren’t going to be achieved I no longer looked back. My decision and my moves were’t perfect, but I just decided that it was time to go. While some tried to turn negative that I was there over four years, it was more than a respectable amount of time. It was a stagnant amount of time I was making money, however, the wages were stagnant.

A lot of the people I had enjoyed working with well many of them were leaving including Anthony who left to bounce around at other jobs over time. This isn’t actually a career job where you stay until you retire as in the long run it’s just not lucrative. Anthony’s best advice when it comes to finding another job is to follow-up and then try to negotiate when you know one situation isn’t working. That’s almost like chasing away a potential job offer and lets me know we just weren’t on the same page. Thankfully a lot of the opportunities I had never reached that stage anyway.

What I can credit for this time was that I put in the work. Anthony I will credit him with one good opportunity the theater mgr deal that I took advantage of and that would certainly have been a step forward if it had worked out. The other opportunities that he led me towards that I tried to take advantage of well back to square one. Not to be too much of a “snob” I’m really still at square one.

All the other opportunities were at square one, however, they were at largely reputable companies where at least I have a foot in the door. For example I can say I have one foot in the door at Fresh Foods although I have enough “service hours” to get an award for my longevity. Even made associate of the week fairly recently.

Either way, I consider some aspects of the so-called crisis of 2012 to 2014.

Anthony was noting the dry spell I had for most of 2013. He made sure to note that another young man we worked with (and evidently one he didn’t think much of) was getting more interviews than me. He wanted to know why I wasn’t getting any interviews. What does he care whether or not I’m getting interviewed anywhere or how many?

Later on he noted (while he insisted on me chasing down Finer’s) as I started to get more interviews that I’m finally going to find something. Don’t worry about whether or not your getting the job as employers are showing interest and made up for the previous year’s dry spell.

Another example is that Anthony tried to make a comment where he stated “I really knew there was a problem when your mother didn’t try to help you find a job at that bank”. When I told him that my mother worked at a bank, but I wanted to get him off that subject and tell him this was my decision. Which is true. When I graduated from Mission College, I didn’t really want to work at my mother’s company at that point. I fully expected to get the right job on my own and not have to use my connections. And worse still when I was finally ready to pursue opportunities with my mother’s company my connections meant nothing if the commute to my interview and the hiring manager proved to be a stickler for time.

Of course Ant wasn’t the only one questioning why I was working at the theater instead of that bank. Like I said it wasn’t necessarily something that I really wanted when it was time to look for a job. Perhaps an indication that there were a lot of people who didn’t think I belonged at The Show. Perhaps I was better than than that.

Finally I wanted to note that Ant’s vision for where he thought I should be went from I should be on a yacht somewhere enjoying life. Perhaps I could go to a law firm who’ll pay for me to go to law school. Then eventually as it had been my interest to go to a neighborhood cinema to be a manager. Then doing security, then working at Broadway in Chicago to be a unionized usher, then chasing down Finer Food’s to being an airplane fueler. A lot of those ideas were no thanks but the the yacht thing seems cool and what if I had real calling to go into law?

Well I covered a lot of ground here but to address Anthony’s role in this crisis I realize he had his own self-serving reasons to get involved. There was something in it for him. Perhaps this satisfied his need for dominance and control (my favorite two terms for him). If I was successful thanks to him then he’d believe I’d have to be beholden to him. And even if I did finally accepted a job offer to leave The Show, as I learned later he still found a way to be unsatisfied with the direction I set upon.

Still that brief period of the streak era has set the stage for the era I’m living in currently.

Finality on Finer’s

Over the past six or so months I’ve written a lot about the events of No Interview 2014 or mostly about Anthony the fiend injecting that drama into the future as I begin to reach some form of “apex” at the Hole. It was jarring but I recognize that in some respects it’s still in my head. The reality is that that moment is really over, and it doesn’t deserve much thought even now. It’s not something I had no real invested reason to follow-up.

One reason it’s still in my head is its part of the drama that can exist between myself and the fiend. Another reason is I do consider it a fail. For one thing one reason why I never opted to follow-up any further on this in spite of Anthony’s insistence is based upon his his anger when he “discovers” that I hadn’t followed up any further after being sent out of that store after waiting to be interviewed for an hour (i.e. I got no interview). Of course I can consider that I came along way on a cold day and had no breakfast and perhaps not enough sleep to get absolutely nothing accomplished and I had a nasty old man holding onto that disappointed father act give me a hard time over something that isn’t my fault.

Some business wasn’t taken care of and he showed no interest in my side of the story and perhaps he never saw my side of the story. He probably got stuck on the outcome didn’t go the way he wanted it to go and not only that in being a disappointed father he needed to point the finger at yours truly. And worse still he wanted to ride it until I made it right and followed up. And the most confusing part is that he still wanted to know what happened with it two years later and starting talking about how he thought “you’d like it at Finer’s better” or “if you come to Finer Foods you’d make more money”.

When he’d start his campaign I just remember how it went to get on with them with his insistence and with another part of the Streak Era & another number on the no job offer count. That causes me to think of a something crazy scenario such as the climax of the reign of error. One thing I should’ve learned about him when he’s dead set on something he doesn’t stop it could be a narrative or it could be a situation. It all has to suit him and his needs at any given time.

The bottom line is that I need to move forward from that era. If the outcome of the steak era didn’t suit the fiend too bad, it suits me just fine. I feel as if I’m better off now, the goal wasn’t to get stuck on working at Finer Foods although my mind was stuck on working at a cinema and how was that working out for me. The goal was the leave The Show and Anthony gets stuck on what happened with this opportunity or how much I could’ve made with a job that just didn’t work out for me.

As far as his later campaign. I know I said different things such as he’s envious of my success at the time at the Hole or he just never had that closure (whatever that meant to him back then). Lately I’ve hit upon another thought about this, it was all a diversion or distraction. I would expect he knew full well his campaign wasn’t going anywhere. Although one thought that refutes that is when he’s dead set on something he goes in full blast no matter what. However, I don’t have that closure since we don’t have the ties that we used to these days.

Meanwhile I’m still working on that “Crisis” shoot so stay tuned. If all goes to plan it will be the next post.

Revisit: Dawn of the Streak Era

Let me repeat myself from some earlier posts. 2021 represents the whole decade since I’ve met Anthony the hustler. I told a story of the very early days where he tried to borrow some money and his reward for that attempt was no money and in expecting a ride home he got left at the job. He called my phone left a voicemail and I could hear the disappointment in his voice once he realized what happened.

What I didnt anticipate and perhaps I should’ve was that he was just getting started. That didn’t quite send the message that I didn’t want to be bothered. He still came around asking “Why don’t you speak to me?”

Well let’s skip ahead into 2012 and he put me onto this mgmt position at a neighborhood cinema which is a quick train ride away from home. I was cancelling myself out of that opportunity because way before he came to be about it I saw a posting on this company’s social media and decided I wasn’t ready for this. The hustler thought that I was because “You’ve got the experience”.

That particular summer got weird. The conflicts got weirder this was the summer I really regretfully began feuding with Deranged Barney. D.B. was a lot like Anthony once I pulled back he really starting coming around more. Usually just trying to spark a conversation usually it’s just me looking at him and not really responding. I know he’s talking to me but for a time I just showed very little interest in what he was saying. It causes me to wonder if anyone talked to him back then as I had to learn he just wanted attention which is what our feud gave him.

Either way the mgmt job I accepted and this was where yours truly felt this was a good opportunity to leave The Show. If mgmt is what I wanted to do perhaps I should pursue those opportunities when they’re available. One way to look at this is that this was another attempt by the man I know refer to as The Fiend to pull me in more. Trying to pull me away from Henry and his crew was met with mixed results and later on he didn’t mind reminding me of my ties with them.

He did start getting some money out of me making some weird proposition – a return for a small sum of cash. One time I told him to eat it as opposed to paying me back though perhaps the first time he borrowed me he paid that money back. He actually used that money for a hot dog from the concession stand, he got so excited once he was successful. Another lesson learned he never really strayed away from that programming as it turned out. Once he starts begging and is successful it continues.

At this point I was in a holding pattern for the mgmt job. It was a minute from whenever I submitted my resume via email to some point in August where I did finally hear from the theater owner and finally got an interview. I depended upon Anthony for updates as in why is it taking so long. I had allowed myself to be all in on this and it turned out to be a mistake.

I don’t want to go into the story as you’ll see a link to the original post anyway. I will say that my relationships at The Show was starting to take a turn. From the “mean girls of $h!tplace” to even the hustler (as it turns out this was one person I really needed to push away). It was a place I was finding myself at odds with almost everyone and needed this opportunity.

However long story short it didn’t work out. That interview and the resulting disappointment resulted in a period I now refer to as the Streak Era. A period where after as many as 15 interviews it only resulted in one job offer after over two years. What I hoped would be a home run only was the first at bat in the long run.

Please check out the original post here.

Also I’m getting to work on that shoot post regarding “Crisis” which actually could fit within the context of this revisit.

Update

I’ve recently seen our team receiver and from a colleague I know more about what happened to him it was an injury. Our dept mgr told me their still working on the team receiver position as the other team receiver is still out and depends on the doctors and this that or another. He was also told to rotate the position except we’re understaffed for now and thus it will be difficult to rotate amongst different workers.

When I saw our team receiver the other day he was coming into work supporting another dept. He usually doesn’t close but on this occasion the does. So perhaps mid July sounds about right for him returning to the dept. Does this mean that team receiver is up for grabs is another question for now? Does this mean for extended period of time he won’t be able to perform the job he had?

I know our dept has made some new hires and I know one has started already. We might need the team receiver on the floor so might this be his new role if he’s needed in our dept? Time will tell although I know one thing.

The team receiver expressed interest in buying. He even interviewed for the job I tried to get over two years ago. He says as a team receiver he doesn’t have as much of an ability to learn that role. Perhaps outside of being in the cooler just about all shift putting product away, he now has the ability to campaign and learn about that role with this current situation.

Also I talked with my old dept’s new team buyer. I asked them about when they officially started and basically they were already doing the job anyway. Also the job title hasn’t just changed for them on Fresh’s social network. So it might be a week or two probably.

They asked if I missed my old dept and I just said that right now it’s “Do I really want to go back and do the same thing I had been doing?” Which leads to what would be my interest in returning. My answer was going into buying or even being a supervisor though I nuanced the supervisor deal with the stress of dealing with people. Noted some of the personalities I’ve seen on the dept since I’ve been to the store without noting any specific types. Even she acknowledged so many have their own personalities and it can be hard to navigate them all.

I’ve noted some of these personalities since I started this blog. The knowitalls, the ones who have a concept of what’s supposed to be done and trying to force others into doing it their way, the not very studious, the outspoken, the scatterbrains, the complainers, etc. This is why I’d rather receive product or do the purchasing.

As a supervisor/manager I know that it’s not just associates I’d have to deal with it’s customers with their various personalities. While associates have to be careful in their interactions so do supervisors/managers although in the case of that level they can hurry up and cut off an interaction if it’s not going well. They can decide if a customer is always right or they’re just @$$holes.

I suppose so far I just don’t know how I can navigate these many nuances successfully. Yours truly just tries to do the best he knows possible in those situations. And there is one person who knows me pretty well who I’m sure expect me to fail in such a situation.

Another thing that was asked is what I prefer doing and just noted that I’m doing receiving in my current dept now. I noted that I put product on the floor working off the load while putting stuff away in the backstock. Sometimes it’s great to be away from customers for an extended period of time.

As always I’ll keep you posted on any new developments.

The last call…

This is one memory I never went over since I cut ties to Anthony the hustler. The last phone call after the episode One Final Drop. Perhaps Anthony had no use for me after that moment and wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t try very hard to contact him which was definitely true afterwards as it turned out.

So this time four years ago, I ran into Deranged Barney after leaving the Hole for day. I just looked up as I crossed the street and once we locked eyes D.B. greeted me with a twisted “Jyyyyackkk” and an insane cackle. I will admit this freaked me out on that day, but my answer was to just turn my head forward and cross the street. Since I believe Barney is deranged only he knew what response he expected, but this is when I simply put my plan of no response into place.

What happened at that point just about five years earlier just didn’t matter. It doesn’t have to matter even if someone like the hustler insisted that it must matter enough to just decide when he asked for a small cash infusion to ask whether or not yours truly and D.B. were about to fight. He still wanted to go over it years later and I recognize the hustler has his own reasons why this still matters to him five years later at that point.

Anyway I told only two people about the encounter Henry only because we were talking about meeting up at some point with another former coworker and that coworker suggested inviting D.B. which I told him I will walk out and leave. And Henry didn’t have much to say nor wanted to be bothered and can’t say I blame him. This was just more drama and thankfully useless drama as we never met up anyway.

And the other person I had to flush out was Anthony and it was a minute before he could be bothered. Just think a week or so earlier he was blowing up my phone because he found an excuse to ask for yet another small cash infusion. So I called him got no answer and texted him twice until he responded not the same type of full court press as he did me weeks earlier.

We got to talk before I got to my purpose for this call. He stated he was just getting off work and repeated that I was working on a promotion to buy/receive his response “Oh yeah that’s right”. Yeah he wants me to make management but taking the necessary steps just weren’t that interesting to him. He was ranting about a mother and her son he didn’t understand why her son was wearing a mohawk and a pair of boots in June. If he had his way that boy would be wearing a crew cut and sneakers.

It was a bit of time before I told him why I was calling him.

Yours truly: Guess who I ran into today.

The Fiend: D.B.?

Y.T.: *a bit taken a back* You know what that’s a good guess

T.F.: *after a bit of a pause* You need to let that go, you really need to let that go…

And then you wonder why he had the tendency to bring D.B. up. The only time I brought up D.B. was to tell him that he tried to friend request me on FB and I blocked him. And after that Anthony decided to start telling me where he’s seen him or when he’s seen him. Just random mentions when once upon a time I couldn’t get through a day without talking about him and now suddenly he’s a frequent subject.

Y.T.: I ran into him after work and he spoke and I just walked away without a word

T.F.: Oh that’s cold dude, that’s cold, that’s cold-blooded. That’s cold dude

Y.T.: I can’t believe you wont support that what should I have done

T.F.: Hey! What’s up man how’s it going?

Y.T.: You remember what he did right?

T.F.: I sure do.

Y.T.: I’m not interested

T.F.: Do you know if he’s working now

Y.T.: I don’t know

T.F.: Oh OK

Y.T. I don’t care.

T.F.: *objects*

Then he mentions another coworker he thought I had issues with. And to this day I still talk to this coworker who has his own frustrations with Anthony. I think this goes to one thing with the hustler he would drive wedges where he could. Perhaps I had issues with people at the job however it will be if these are people he don’t like then here comes the gaslighting. They’re the ones I must avoid but him he’s in my corner looking out for me. When I wrote the gaslighting post I shared the internal conflict I was between two warring factions.

So anyway we got derailed from talking about D.B. after that once he went with how I’m going to handle so and so with my final retort at least he has something to say which is “why I still even talk to you”. He quickly changes the subject and we never go back to Mr. Deranged.

At some point he proclaims that he’s so tired and about three times I tell him “go get you some rest I’ll talk to you later”. Each time he finds a way to keep the dialogue going. He wasn’t too interested in what I wanted to talk about initially he just switched that convo around like nothing. I think the last time he proclaimed he was so tired, he wanted to know my work schedule. For whatever reason he wants to know not only when I start but what time I get off. I guess that’s the one detail he wants to know.

So the last time we really talked as friends had me screaming at him “ANTHONY LISTEN! GO GET YOU SOME REST I’LL TALK TO YOU LATER!” He finally agrees and that was our last convo. Next month he sends a text reminding me that he plans to pay that $100 he’s borrowed and noted some news I had already told him about someone we used to work with at The Show. And that was the last contact until at least my birthday later that year and before he starts coming around writing comments on facebook or calling me from a new cell number.

After that text I called him and left a voicemail that he never answered. I realized it wasn’t that productive to chase him down. My hope he’ll call me about paying that money back and it never entered my thought process that he might turn around and beg yet again. So I would say that last call marked a turning point in our “situationship” and up until losing my position at the Hole later that year this would be the beginning of me re-evaluating my friendship with the hustler.

For a man who chased me down wanting to connect. Looking out for me and trying in his own way to help me leave The Show. For a guy who claimed he’ll protect me at work where he can. And for someone who was taking advantage of the perks of hanging out with yours truly, I wish it didn’t take me a few years to realize I was being taken advantage of. And in reality Anthony was really not treating me very well.

I wish it hadn’t taken me years to learn that someone like him – and he’s not the first sadly – isn’t my friend. He wanted something I had and was willing to do what it took to get what he wanted. He was going to play the role of my friend and when he gets bored or even just tired I would be discarded until he needed something. So for whatever reason the old man was just looking for “supply”.

Next month I plan to revisit an episode I wrote about almost four years ago and I called it “Crisis.” I realize that this crisis I wrote about was really ginned up by him. While the basis of this post was me trying to leave The Show, I realize Anthony for reasons only he understands had a reason to push me away from the theater where we worked. Perhaps it somewhat explains why he tried to cajole me into working for Finer Foods even after things fell apart with that.

And finally I said I wanted to talk about the last day I worked with D.B. Probably one reason why D.B. still tries to “run-up” on yours truly. Our odd conflict caused him in part to get fired. It’s an episode I deeply regret today and is symbolic of my time at $h!tplace. I don’t know when but hopefully you will read about it on this blog in the future.