Be part of the world

As I’ve stated already the idea of having sex or otherwise relations with the opposite sex to be part of the world is kind of backwards to me. That doesn’t happen unless you’re part of the world, thus I have to find activities of interest where one could connect with people. Thus you become part of the world and you can begin to find love or sex.

You don’t find either from work. You don’t find either because people keep needing to lecture you about it or just make random comments.

All the same this article lets me know I had been on the right track. Take an improv class or take an art class. Hopefully you find someone you like or they like you though you can learn something new, especially something creative. And yes I know those aren’t the only things I could do to become part of the world.

 

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dating advice

on occasion i talked of men that i know of who’s mind is on chasing p***y. for example my friend anthony who does on occasion show me pics of grannies he claimed to have f***ed and done some nasty s*** to. and honestly i don’t want to hear it from him.

now i can’t say for sure that he chases p***y to the extent that mr. wayne talks above. anthony is not the candy and flowers type or at least he never talks about it, he certainly has little problem chasing women though. looking at how he would aggressively “drool” over any good looking woman who crosses paths with him even if he doesn’t talk to them.

as for me, i had attempted to chase p***y on occasion especially back when i was still in college. i really wanted to get with a “hillman” woman although with a select few i’m still in touch with them today. i suppose doing the chasing did me no good, especially with nicole for example. though certainly what must happen to connect with a woman, hopefully she has an attraction for you, and then the two of you are together. perhaps not exactly in that way, but get the picture connect then the magic happens by her actions and certainly by my actions.

hopefully you enjoy this advice

the dating dance

allow me to admit, that when it comes to women i haven’t played my own cards right. you’ve seen it on this blog admittedly a number of failures on my part when it comes to women. however, i do consider myself among those men who these very accomplished women overlook.

i would love to have a professional woman as my girlfriend, however, one of my problems have been how do i get one. i had the opportunity to utilize a matchmaker and i’m just not going to bullsh*t you, she seemed disappointed. she realized i wasn’t a catch for any of her older and professional clients. and although she offered her services at a charity rate, other things going on in my life caused me to not take her up on her offer. although to be fair, this was a blow to my ego it seems i have a far worse issue on my hand and this matchmaker was one indication.

regardless i’m a virgin and yes i did or i have believed in marriage then sex. how many of those women would value that? who would value the idea that a man would save themselves? i’ve met people who couldn’t understand that and met with ridicule, even then my only handicap is that i’m not known to date.

as steve harvey indicated, these women are looking for men who make more money than them and they’re looking for corporate execs like them. they don’t want a man who perhaps doesn’t mind staying at home and tending to the house and children – not that i’d want to and if i did there will be a side hustle. perhaps these women set the bar so high for a mate that no one met them back in college and now they have to play catch up and the clock is running out!

btw, MGTOW 101 is the name of this youtube channel to the video you see above. “men going their own way” eh? i wonder what this is about and the above video is one indication i suppose.

signals

let me start off by saying using a video of a railroad semaphore signal seems a bit counter-intuitive, but i assure you this video is relevant as far as this awkward subject. it’s all about whether or not someone is giving you the go-ahead signal. trains run the same way either you got to wait & let a train pass before proceeding or you got the all clear and the train can continue to move forward.

do you remember nicole? while barely mentioned on this blog or at least her story she featured in one story i wrote regarding my cousin natalie. my cousin took a greater interest in the story at the time than i wanted and simply shut down any attempt at a convo based upon this by offering nothing but silence. natalie who does like chatting kind of got the hint and left it & me alone…

as far as nicole, well it’s a cautionary tale with a variety of tactical errors. and to be fair it was a case of jumping a gun and the signs were in front of me that she was giving me a stop signal. with regards to if i was looking for signals from nicole, i wanted to see a proceed signal and sought to interpret and overthink them to the point where it was favorable. well it never happened and i hung around with her for far longer than i should have…

this was the biggest ouch of my life. i wanted to believe nicole was going to be my girlfriend and my belief proved to be wrong. as it turned out i made a mistake and as a result nicole probably still doesn’t want to speak to me to this day. it’s possible from my obsessive attempts i only served not to cultivate a relationship, but only cultivated avoidance. who knows if she’s ever moved from her negative feelings towards me, i know i still have my negative feelings about her.

a typical post where i talk about the women and describe them physically. this time i won’t, overtime i had to convince myself that although i thought nicole was attractive my view of her has changed and that includes her attractiveness. over the years i have thought her attitude when she wanted nothing to do with me made her very ugly to me. though these days i accept my role in how things simply went due south at the time.

having met her through my first room mate at “mission college” one mistake i had made was assuming her niceness/friendliness was a signal of interest. it was when i decided to express interest and the reasoning that she described it as a misunderstanding which wasn’t what i wanted to hear. these days i try to pay attention when a girl seems interested only to just pull back when i try to reciprocate. my goal is to try to avoid making assumptions in some cases i can be too cautious and a girl with a wandering eye can go with who’ll give her the attention.

another error was situational as i attempted to ascertain whether or not she was going to my campus to play pool i asked her if she was coming over. she was like you know maybe i don’t know we’ll see, then i felt dejected and walked away. someone touched my back & shoulders when i left. i was in a courtyard during a weekly student block party and there was a stairway into a yard with students standing around.

now i figure it was someone else who probably did the touching. probably steadying herself or perhaps himself coming down that hill and i was the only stable object nearby. problem is i wanted it to be nicole and made the mistake of asking her which began to cause other problems as it was an excuse to express interest. she couldn’t say whether she did or she didn’t and i never looked back when it happened so it’s possible she didn’t thus it wasn’t a proceed signal. unfortunately i didn’t want to believe that and held onto it for a long time until fairly recently.

another error was waiting for a signal of any sort and making assumptions based upon it. like one time i was singing to myself leaving “hillman” and nicole was horrified when she saw me. except i took that as a signal of interest because she had a horrified look on her face on that occasion. well now that it’s been interpreted by me as a proceed signal although almost a week before she gave me the signal i should’ve heeded – she wasn’t interested. regardless interpreting these signals as “interest” it caused me to further awkwardly make my presence known.

eventually it was all for naught and someone i didn’t know finally came around and told me to leave her alone. too bad this was before the iPhone and quality mobile photography. it got really scary and reality was it was entirely my fault because i failed to pay attention and heed her signals. i wanted proceed signals, but she actually sent stop signals.

for all that happened then i feel bad because if she knows my room mate whom we’re still somewhat in touch although only friends on fb at this point. he’s never said anything and when sh*t hit the fan i learned my lesson. he’s never mentioned anything about that whole episode with me even though i know there had been opportunity to do so.

nicole as a student at “hillman college” was a freshmen when i first met her as a transfer student. i was gone for a year and a half returned to establish relations which incidentally i had done so seeing her at “misson’s” recreational hall playing pool. when i greeted her and after we closed our convo, she greeted me with a flirtatious look but only after she indicated that there was someone who didn’t like her hanging out with men. i can safely consider this a mixed signal, though certainly for me i saw it as proceed when it should’ve been a stop because she wouldn’t give a clear answer as to whether or not she’s spoken for.

with this said since she was a year or so older at this point and certainly had a direction for her life being a junior when i returned to “mission” perhaps it was a bad time to approach her for dating. who’s to say she already had other things that stressed her out it could be her studies, other men, family life, etc. meanwhile i was just returning and although i was older probably did lack a direction. it’s possible whenever she saw me i lacked a direction and she could probably tell “there was no there, there”. i literally came in with not a whole lot to show for myself at least not at that point in time and that could include the idea of “no potential”.

so a few conclusions. i could relate this to what happened with candice years later. i missed candice’s signals because i chose not to pay them much attention. and she’d directly let me know it was a problem for her when i continued to blow off her signals. basically candice was looking for something with me and i for whatever reason chose to not heed her “go-ahead” signals. i’m a long way from saying this was a matter of caution – to avoid misinterpreting her signals – or just a matter of avoidance from a rambunctious young woman.

with nicole i was looking for her proceed signals and she got pissed because i wasn’t heeding them. the signals essentially was a no-go and i was again oblivious. even had some dear friends at college told me i should leave her alone and even that advice wasn’t enough for me to end my own semblance of a chase. and once again i wanted the signals i wanted which basically was, “come here big boy”. the actual signal was, “get lost big boy”.

candice – i can’t say what my problem was with her. perhaps it didn’t take long for me to realize there was nothing there from me with her. what i say later seems more like an excuse now, regardless at the time she insisted on my attention it seemed a little too much too soon at the time. i don’t know whether or not i can call this a missed opportunity or a dodged bullet.

nicole – only she knows why she wasn’t interested in me. perhaps i wasn’t showing that “mission-man mystique” which is believable. perhaps my awkward attempts to give her attention at one point was a little too much too soon also. could certainly be a botched opportunity or more accurately a non-starting opportunity. sometimes i wonder if this also had been a dodged bullet.

 

Isolation

I think this describes my situation:

It’s especially difficult to find a partner if you don’t like to go out much.

Redditor ShakerJew explained that they think they’ll stay a virgin for a while:

“I have no clue how to advance relationships beyond friendship … I’ve never even held anyone’s hand… I’m not ugly at all either. When I see people in a relationship I just think ‘Wow that must be nice but that is not for me, I can’t have that. I must deprive myself of happiness.’

User another-redditor3 echoed this sentiment:

“Not much of a story really.

I’m 30, unemployed, live at home with my parents and have nothing that even resembles a social life. I talk to friends online once every few weeks or so, but it’s been 18+ months since I’ve seen any of them in person.

As for interests/activities, the few things I’m interested in are solo activities, or male dominated.”

If you’re not interested in checking out new places to meet potential dates, that’s cool. Focus on your own fulfilling hobbies.

Now I got to think, what kinds of hobbies can I get into where I can meet people. Perhaps I can join a college alumni group who will on occasion support the sister “Hillman College”. Perhaps I can take some art classes or something like that. There is something I can get into that will enable me to find this fabled companion or at least meet new friends.

Are nice guys really that bad?

I think of myself as a long way from being a nice guy. With that being said those who are, probably have been subjected to women who are for whatever reason difficult to please. Perhaps the list I found was legitimate in some respects others are just plain nitpicky.

It’s a case of what do these woman want to be satisfied. They may never figure it out and probably will have to go through some serious changes to determine that. In my case there were a handful of situations where I simply lost my patience with particular women.

past tense: the ride back to “mission”

funny-memes-awkward-moments-awkward-moment-quotes

right now i’m in the mood to reminisce. tonight jack v discusses again the period of time after his first semester away at “mission college”. let me assure you the above image doesn’t entirely reflect how i view the situation.

the summer after i went away to school at “mission college” there was a family reunion. i briefly told one story about attending a family reunion planning meeting hosted by my aunt laura. this meeting was where she decided to see if i wanted to speak where i briskly said no and she jumped in her seat as if i struck her with lightning.

my aunt nadine had picked me up at “mission” and then brought me further out to a local restaurant for this meeting. after the meeting nadine went home and sends me back to “mission” with cousin natalie. had no choice in this instance as i didn’t drive myself needed to go back to campus and my aunt does a lot of driving so perhaps she was tired.

unfortunately with natalie & her husband nathan this ride wasn’t going to be a quiet one. natalie wants to have a conversation and i likely wasn’t that interested. probably was tired myself as it’s a long ride to where the restaurant was. as often as she could both her and her husband forced themselves to laugh at whatever weak witticism i seemed to have. i tried to be funny, but honestly i was in an uncomfortable situation and was unwilling to adjust to it.

she tried hard to get me to talk about the women i met from “hillman college”. if you remember natalie tried to get me to talk about essentially “nicole” – who i actually met during this first semester away from home – almost two years or so later. when i return after a year-and-one-half absence i attempted to make some moves and it didn’t work out for me – may tell that unfortunate story one day.

as for this particular period of time with my roommate introducing me to women at “hillman” i was a long way from establishing anything remotely resembling friendly relations with the ladies. unfortunately my cousin wants know about my romantic life it was her primary expectation. however if she was starting to decide if i was going more and more anti-social perhaps she was wondering if i wasn’t able to form a bond with women as i was unwilling to bond with her as a cousin.

here’s the thing, natalie likely knows that i was close to her younger sister. she tried to really stir something up in me with regards to her. at first mention, her husband responded.

nat: tasha is coming to town later this week.

nathan: oh yeah?

nat: jack?

yours truly: yeah?

nat: tasha is coming to town later this week.

yours truly: i heard

you know to explain i can’t remember if my aunt or mother told me she was in town or i just heard this for the first time from natalie when her husband responds. the fact that she brings this up is trying to change the dynamics of the conversation hence when her husband answers she merely calls my name and repeats what she just said.

in a few short minutes we arrive at my dorm. nathan wants to know – likely being nice – if he should drop me off in the back. i tell him he dropped me off in the right place….in haste. get out and acknowledge because they were expecting me to wave and they drive back to the burbs. meanwhile after that adventure near the end of the term back to reality and finish my semester as it turns out not so strongly.

perhaps another time, i’ll discuss the family reunion. there will certainly be more to say about this particular summer. especially before eventually talking about my senior year of high school.