friend request

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remember cousin natalie? someone referred to her as fake in a fairly recent comment to a post where i discuss one episode years ago about her. well she sent me a fb friend request.

huh???

i didn’t think that would happen i noted one of our last interactions. point the finger at me for both of them, but i already knew i wasn’t feeling it. however, due to her rather gregarious personality she thrives on trying to reach out to me.

what probably doesn’t help is that my mother is now retired and also a year ago had her hip fracture which put her out of action a bit last year. regardless no message no warning just send request, although i didn’t always give warning when i sent a friend request. 😛

all the same because i’ve essentially decided i need not connect with her online her request will remain on the backburner. if i did accept i will take great pains to block her from seeing my timeline – not that there’s much to see. also she won’t see what i’m really into.

that’s what i have done for my brother and his two sons for example.

sorority-sisters

anyway another tidbit cousin natalie and aunt laura are sorority sisters and have been very close. however as natalie is considered far more gregarious while laura’s personality is much different. as a result laura’s attempt at closeness with me is even more awkward.

 

the friend request

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funny thing happened recently one of my aunts on my mother’s side friend requested me. this aunt we’ll call laura i have something of an odd relationship with.

to start aside from our familial relationship we’re not particularly close. i’m a person who lives in an urban area laura prefers to live in the almost exurbs. while so far i’ve yet to rent out a piece of real estate she has especially a few mcmansions. she seems to have a history of living above her means.

all the same over the years she has tried somewhat  hard to reach out to me. when i went away to the liberal arts school she e-mailed me. express interest in me visiting her house to watch some football of which thanks to many seasons of disappointing bears football caused me to never follow-up on that. it also doesn’t help that from where i were it takes time to get anywhere she may reside.

so this event makes it easy to tell this story. i find it somewhat amusing, however, i can see where it doesn’t come off very well for me. i may expand further on this later but just illustrates how i can be and the reasoning.

to start when i first went away to school i was at a family reunion meeting held a good distance away from the college. one of my other aunts had picked me up to take me up there and it was nothing more than a free meal to me. so i went up and saw and heard some of the planning behind the family reunion. of all people my grandmother who isn’t usually keen on family reunions was there getting involved.

near the end before it was about time for me to go back to campus laura called on me a simple “hey jack” and then asked if there was anything i’d like to say. now it’s hard for me to say i was obnoxious or just evasive to speaking to a crowd, but my response was a quick no after thinking about it for a moment. she jolted back as if i had struck her with lightning.

every now and then i like to tell that story. it’s just a story to me, but when you think about it what was a i trying to prove. likely it’s not a whole lot just something funny to me that happened after realizing someone’s response to my behavior. a behavior which to them they just didn’t expect. laura likely genuinely thought i would have some remarks especially for the free meal i just got.

so later on we had our family reunion in georgia and one morning our family down there paid us a visit in our hotel. laura was in our room and if i recall correctly i was likely still a bit sleepy. for whatever reason she started in on me quick trying to get a conversation with me. i kept giving a basic answer.

for example she wanted to know what my roommate’s name was i just gave her a first name, “what’s his late name?” then i gave his last name, but basically while i may generally be introverted others who were observing the situation realized how uninterested i was in conversing. it seemed for a moment laura didn’t quite get the hint. my mother noted years later that she saw how uninterested in talking i had been and saw her sister just switch gears quick after realizing that this convo wasn’t progressing.

just to show how tenacious laura was other than trying to get a last name for my roommate she saw me take out a mint and was quick to ask me for one which i complied silently. she’s often very quick to just do that as later when we toured a landmark in atlanta that day she did it to me again when i bought some candy from a store before going back to the exurbs.

there are further stories of this that will be expanded upon later. laura and i haven’t really interacted with each other very well over the years. and i recognize sometimes that people who try very hard don’t get very far with me. bad news is that if i find myself feeding into some idea or some unfortunate behavior all i can do is add the necessary ammunition.

to be honest she wasn’t the first family member whom i haven’t done well with over the years to connect with me on fb. another one of my aunts came to chicago, in a story to be told later to help out around the house and she has been great. she friend requested me not only once but twice as she has two accounts. i kept them unanswered for a number of years. the shitty part about this is that when going to school in georgia she has helped me out the most back then.

also one of my cousins have friend requested me. i hadn’t done very well with her she had to call me out once because i did something that was out of line and i can say that yes i did. on the other hand it caused some distance on my end and she accepted it although she has her moments where she tries to be the bigger person and i’m not receiving it. anyway she’s another one whose friend request will for the time being remain unanswered.

as for laura for the time being i won’t answer her friend request.

honesty box mafia wars

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so this is one of the more unusual honesty box exchange i ever had. a young lady decided to message me regarding my mafia wars activity indicating that she doesn’t like it. whoever it was probably had me on her mind more than she realizes.

they said,
I\’m getting tired of all your mafia wars shit. Get a life

you said,
babe. you can go fuck yourself

they said,
wow you stepped away from mafia wars to tell me this. there is hope. Oh by the way I already did that today.

you said,
lol i don’t need to know that you masturbated but turned on that you did.

The woman i suspect of writing this message dropped me off her list after this exchange. i’m sure that she had been disappointed by my interactions with her online. especially since i often would message her through hb and unfortunately wouldn’t reciprocate. at some point she lost interest anyway.

random

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on saturday night one of the ladies in the other dept noted that she remembered that becky bought me a cupcake and it had writing on it. the young lady who recently got promoted to supervisor we’ll call her gerry was in fact there that day, her coworker mary – aka crazy vibes – wrote on that cake although gerry didn’t exactly remember.

part of me could take this to mean something. that is well if i’m not a very important part of her work life let’s say then what happened last year was quickly forgotten. it happens often enough especially when i make the wrong move then someone is mad at me. then for a minute the relationship goes cold or that person needs an excuse anyway.

gerry i’ve been led to believe is in her 30s and outside of my race. for some reason i’ve had my eye on her, but unsure how to approach. in fact, i alluded to her in “awkward” a while ago an unsolicited friend request from someone who used to work at our store “professed” his love for her and she accepted a date with him.

physically she’s not perfect, but decent. she doesn’t seem like the friendliest person in the world – she’s not mean or anything – perhaps temperament wise she’s similar to me. although i’ve always imagined myself with a more extroverted person at least as a wife, but this isn’t about marriage it’s about getting to know these women before i even get to that step.

i suggested she finds me on fb and perhaps i’ll make it easier for her. we have mutual friends including becky so it may not be a tough sell. perhaps the next time i see her i’ll give her the e-mail address to find me and see what happens. or more likely since we do have several mutual friends i’ll just have to do the manly thing and aggressively add her to see what happens.

either way the reason i gave was i learned on that evening that her birthday is fairly close to mine. so that means we’re both sagittarius…hmmmm.

possibility

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A few days ago I ran into one of the many young women I only know through fb. We’ll call her Andrea and who knows where she had been coming from but we ran into each other in downtown Chicago. She apparently recognized me as someone from our respective colleges – i.e. I attended that liberal arts college & she attended the all-girls college.

To be honest it caught me off-guard so I didn’t adjust accordingly. Andrea is a petite woman with full lips and on this day sporting braids. She said she was in town from New York visiting family. She is originally from Chicago and said she’s staying at a nearby hotel at least until the weekend.

When she saw me I was just leaving the movies nearby and told her what I saw weirded me out. It was funny but just weird. She was aware of another movie of local interest about the Obamas and their love story. Sorry to have disappointed her but I didn’t go see it.

Either way we had a nice chat and spoke of finding my way to New York to catch a tv taping in future. Possibly SNL although I no longer consider myself a fan of that program but something worth doing absolutely. Other than that I suggest we keep in touch through fb and we parted.

Also should be noted that we had over the years talked to each other on fb. Sometimes it’s as much sizing each other up more than anything but sometimes my idea of being a potential match is funny. Perhaps I’m looking for pretty girls who won’t give me the time of day.

Either way just for an exercise what if I chose to pursue this young lady?

awkward

admittedly i seem to be the master of unrequited crushes. there have been a number of girls over the years with whom i’ve held great interest. there are a precious few still who know and may have an inkling. and i’m still a virgin…regardless i noted this with a coworker whom asked me a random question.

then a few days ago this convo i overhear between this coworker and a person in our neighboring department. this coworker noted that some guy friend requested her out of the blue recently on fb and then turned around and professed his love for her. some of that has to be an exaggeration but i can believe he made sure she knew he really likes her.

this guy used to work at the store reportedly and he quit at some point. according to her he would try to speak to her and finds himself mumbling. she basically knew he liked her and then he grows some courage after he quits finds her on fb and sends a quick message.

and this part amazes me she found his approach – though i could sense a creep alert coming – endearing and she agreed to go on a date with him. who knows if she actually went on said date, but i was like unbelievable. he went for it and it worked! 😮

in my case there have been precious few where i tried to get away with that. nicole is one prime example although a lot of moments led up to the eventual rejection there. she’s not the only example but there are women out there who became aware that i like them. of course i never seemed to be able to pursue anything with them.

this leads to one challenge…what if i found a bunch of women particularly online – no one i currently work with – and just expressed interest in them? what if i told them i liked them? of course these women would have to be vetted at least for having a boyfriend or whatever. if i was free and clear to be so bold why not.

Aphrodite & Fertility

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Aphrodite

one of my female fb friends – who attended that all-girl’s college near my own liberal arts school – posted a pic of a sculpture in a foreign land of the god of fertility. she wanted to tag her classmates and said she rubbed her ovaries. she also considered the ovaries of other career women who just haven’t found the one yet.

now this is the post where i could complain. these were women i attempted to chase around while i went to school there. this wasn’t a very smart move to be sure, but these were women who i expected were about something. i like that in a woman to be honest better that than someone who doesn’t have much going for themselves.

with this said my thought process went the route of they rejected the men for whatever reason who probably would’ve given them babies quickly. i say this as if it’s so simple when it’s not as if these women have their own careers where motherhood and relationships haven’t been their focus. or they just found an excuse to reject available men for good or bad reasons.

i’m tempted to make a reference to this just start a convo and hope that i don’t come on too strong. with that said i want babies too and am very available and thankfully in a better position to actually do this than i have been before. i realize with educated women that i really have to prove myself to become their man.

to speak for myself the ones i had the chance to talk to or even catch myself attempting to get close with them have resulted in reversals. nicole for example was one major reversal and i’ll never get another chance with her. her reasoning on her rejection of me is only for her to know but years ago it hurt because i wanted her to be the “one” for me.

so just as there are some women who are getting up there in the years are still looking for the one so they can have the family. so am i as in my case i’m still a virgin though very available for these women who are looking. of course as is the same for women i have to look for someone i like the best – however i decide that.

perhaps i should set my sights on a career woman who is ready for a relationship and she could be anywhere from 25 to 36. question is whether or not she wants to be wedded to a grocery store clerk/movie theater usher who hopes to advance to a leadership position.