honesty box mafia wars


so this is one of the more unusual honesty box exchange i ever had. a young lady decided to message me regarding my mafia wars activity indicating that she doesn’t like it. whoever it was probably had me on her mind more than she realizes.

they said,
I\’m getting tired of all your mafia wars shit. Get a life

you said,
babe. you can go fuck yourself

they said,
wow you stepped away from mafia wars to tell me this. there is hope. Oh by the way I already did that today.

you said,
lol i don’t need to know that you masturbated but turned on that you did.

The woman i suspect of writing this message dropped me off her list after this exchange. i’m sure that she had been disappointed by my interactions with her online. especially since i often would message her through hb and unfortunately wouldn’t reciprocate. at some point she lost interest anyway.



on saturday night one of the ladies in the other dept noted that she remembered that becky bought me a cupcake and it had writing on it. the young lady who recently got promoted to supervisor we’ll call her gerry was in fact there that day, her coworker mary – aka crazy vibes – wrote on that cake although gerry didn’t exactly remember.

part of me could take this to mean something. that is well if i’m not a very important part of her work life let’s say then what happened last year was quickly forgotten. it happens often enough especially when i make the wrong move then someone is mad at me. then for a minute the relationship goes cold or that person needs an excuse anyway.

gerry i’ve been led to believe is in her 30s and outside of my race. for some reason i’ve had my eye on her, but unsure how to approach. in fact, i alluded to her in “awkward” a while ago an unsolicited friend request from someone who used to work at our store “professed” his love for her and she accepted a date with him.

physically she’s not perfect, but decent. she doesn’t seem like the friendliest person in the world – she’s not mean or anything – perhaps temperament wise she’s similar to me. although i’ve always imagined myself with a more extroverted person at least as a wife, but this isn’t about marriage it’s about getting to know these women before i even get to that step.

i suggested she finds me on fb and perhaps i’ll make it easier for her. we have mutual friends including becky so it may not be a tough sell. perhaps the next time i see her i’ll give her the e-mail address to find me and see what happens. or more likely since we do have several mutual friends i’ll just have to do the manly thing and aggressively add her to see what happens.

either way the reason i gave was i learned on that evening that her birthday is fairly close to mine. so that means we’re both sagittarius…hmmmm.



A few days ago I ran into one of the many young women I only know through fb. We’ll call her Andrea and who knows where she had been coming from but we ran into each other in downtown Chicago. She apparently recognized me as someone from our respective colleges – i.e. I attended that liberal arts college & she attended the all-girls college.

To be honest it caught me off-guard so I didn’t adjust accordingly. Andrea is a petite woman with full lips and on this day sporting braids. She said she was in town from New York visiting family. She is originally from Chicago and said she’s staying at a nearby hotel at least until the weekend.

When she saw me I was just leaving the movies nearby and told her what I saw weirded me out. It was funny but just weird. She was aware of another movie of local interest about the Obamas and their love story. Sorry to have disappointed her but I didn’t go see it.

Either way we had a nice chat and spoke of finding my way to New York to catch a tv taping in future. Possibly SNL although I no longer consider myself a fan of that program but something worth doing absolutely. Other than that I suggest we keep in touch through fb and we parted.

Also should be noted that we had over the years talked to each other on fb. Sometimes it’s as much sizing each other up more than anything but sometimes my idea of being a potential match is funny. Perhaps I’m looking for pretty girls who won’t give me the time of day.

Either way just for an exercise what if I chose to pursue this young lady?


admittedly i seem to be the master of unrequited crushes. there have been a number of girls over the years with whom i’ve held great interest. there are a precious few still who know and may have an inkling. and i’m still a virgin…regardless i noted this with a coworker whom asked me a random question.

then a few days ago this convo i overhear between this coworker and a person in our neighboring department. this coworker noted that some guy friend requested her out of the blue recently on fb and then turned around and professed his love for her. some of that has to be an exaggeration but i can believe he made sure she knew he really likes her.

this guy used to work at the store reportedly and he quit at some point. according to her he would try to speak to her and finds himself mumbling. she basically knew he liked her and then he grows some courage after he quits finds her on fb and sends a quick message.

and this part amazes me she found his approach – though i could sense a creep alert coming – endearing and she agreed to go on a date with him. who knows if she actually went on said date, but i was like unbelievable. he went for it and it worked! 😮

in my case there have been precious few where i tried to get away with that. nicole is one prime example although a lot of moments led up to the eventual rejection there. she’s not the only example but there are women out there who became aware that i like them. of course i never seemed to be able to pursue anything with them.

this leads to one challenge…what if i found a bunch of women particularly online – no one i currently work with – and just expressed interest in them? what if i told them i liked them? of course these women would have to be vetted at least for having a boyfriend or whatever. if i was free and clear to be so bold why not.

Aphrodite & Fertility



one of my female fb friends – who attended that all-girl’s college near my own liberal arts school – posted a pic of a sculpture in a foreign land of the god of fertility. she wanted to tag her classmates and said she rubbed her ovaries. she also considered the ovaries of other career women who just haven’t found the one yet.

now this is the post where i could complain. these were women i attempted to chase around while i went to school there. this wasn’t a very smart move to be sure, but these were women who i expected were about something. i like that in a woman to be honest better that than someone who doesn’t have much going for themselves.

with this said my thought process went the route of they rejected the men for whatever reason who probably would’ve given them babies quickly. i say this as if it’s so simple when it’s not as if these women have their own careers where motherhood and relationships haven’t been their focus. or they just found an excuse to reject available men for good or bad reasons.

i’m tempted to make a reference to this just start a convo and hope that i don’t come on too strong. with that said i want babies too and am very available and thankfully in a better position to actually do this than i have been before. i realize with educated women that i really have to prove myself to become their man.

to speak for myself the ones i had the chance to talk to or even catch myself attempting to get close with them have resulted in reversals. nicole for example was one major reversal and i’ll never get another chance with her. her reasoning on her rejection of me is only for her to know but years ago it hurt because i wanted her to be the “one” for me.

so just as there are some women who are getting up there in the years are still looking for the one so they can have the family. so am i as in my case i’m still a virgin though very available for these women who are looking. of course as is the same for women i have to look for someone i like the best – however i decide that.

perhaps i should set my sights on a career woman who is ready for a relationship and she could be anywhere from 25 to 36. question is whether or not she wants to be wedded to a grocery store clerk/movie theater usher who hopes to advance to a leadership position.

honesty box red lips


In this young lady’s case i just wrote about her full red lips. she was the kind of girl i wanted to “lose my virginity” to. she seemed to have this athletic build judging by her pics. she wasn’t petite at all either. the question was could i handle her. you can consider this convo a wtf. although could i have saved myself some trouble if i just simply came out to her instead of going back and forth with her anonymously?

you said,
you\’ve got some red lips 😦

they said,
You mad?

you said,
Hb isn’t that serious

you said,
why would i be mad about red lips? besides what if i want to kiss them.

they said,
You put a sad face as if you didn’t like it.

they said,
Sorry, I don’t kiss people I don’t know.

you said,
meh it wasn’t that i didn’t like it. i did a lot, but like you said you have no idea who i am and you don’t know me. 😉

they said,
So you enjoy going back and forth without me knowing who you are?

you said,
still want to know?

and as with the others i seem to only connect with her around the time of her birthday. if i find an excuse to randomly say anything else often i get ignored. perhaps she’s too busy or wasn’t even that interested. That or I’m a random that’s not worth the time.

i decided to share this because i got the number of a girl who has nice lips.



so after taking my time coming up with some compliments i got elise’s phone number. the next question is what now?

setting up a date would be great though i recognize perhaps it’s too soon for that. but to be honest i’m more keen on that than having an extended phone conversation.

do you want to know what got it forward other than coming up with three compliments….talking about those lips. i was straining to come up with the final compliment and then i looked through her fb profile and noticed her lips.

part of me wants to say to her… “i want a kiss” the first time we meet. she can either say yes or “get away from me”. this may disappoint me, but at least i got this far. even better the prospect of actually getting together to her although she’s in the suburbs which is one downside.

bottom line, it’s difficult for me to get out to her. and to consider it’s difficult for me to even want to think i can get this close to a woman and think there’s a chance for me. one way to calm this down is to realize i’m just meeting her because it’s not that serious. take it easy not take this very serious and remember that this is one step to realizing one life goal.

that goal being everything from realizing a relationship with a woman that will lead to sex. to be able to do so before my 40th birthday which sadly is not that far away at this point.

and yes i recognize that i have to meet her first. talk to her and set up a date. perhaps even build enough attraction so that not only would i want to kiss, but that she’d want to give me a kis.


2D11392686-facebooklogo2.blocks_desktop_smalllately i’ve been somewhat been engaged in a drawn out fb exchange with a young women who is a recent transplant to the chicago area. she seemed over eager to meet me unfortunately she lives way outside of the city limits.

all the same let’s give her a name – elise. elise like carina, janice, nicole, and jennifer went to the all girls school near my own college. she isn’t to be honest the type of girl i would even consider at least looks wise but unlike many of those girls she’s the only one who lives near me. definitely unlike nicole because she’s probably very happy to never see me again.

anyway elise at first seemed very eager. that was a turn off to be honest. just consider the behavior of candace, for right or wrong her eagerness to keep my attention caused me to “blow” it by not responding at all. so for a moment i held my fire.

we still talked for a while even about mostly nothing until all the sudden she asked for my digits. then i realize the man should be the hunter and i said woah. i’ve had friend suggest that i should just give her my number. i instead went the route of give me her then i text her my number.

this time she objected and suggested instead that i give her 10 compliments about her.. then i decided tall order for someone i’ve never met and suggested perhaps we should meet first.

then, she knocked it down to three things to which i further suggested give me one thing for me and i’ll offer three. we’ll see what goes from there.

trying again, i suppose

happy-valentines-day-2014i sent my favorite ordained minister friend janice a quick message last month. she’s a member of a sorority and noted that she’s the only friend i have in that sorority. her message indicated that she liked that unfortunately my follow-up didn’t elicit an immediate response.

then valentine’s day came around – i noted my one facebook adventure with that – i decided to wish her a happy valentines and then followed up with asking about plans. i also noted my conclusions with some of the ones i asked often it was they had schoolwork or no plans. in janice’s case a girl’s night out which she acknowleged in the affirmative with a one word answer.

later i asked her if she saw any movies lately. basically just connecting with something i know she enjoys doing apparently. i’m going back to my “breakthrough” with her we like to go to the show.

well i’m trying to figure the no pressure thing not just with janice or any other young lady connected with from college or any other time. i’m also attempting to figure this out with women in general. no pressure let things develop and then hopefully will unexpectedly reach a goal.

sadly it took me a long time to finally realize this.

facebooking on valentine’s day


in all the years i used fb to connect with women mainly those who went to school in the same area i had it occurred to me to use it on valentine’s day for one main purpose. three women i have engaged in conversations let out that they had no valentine plans. in one case they noted that they needed to go to library and do some babysitting – she’s definitely a little old for that.

some have social lives and perhaps some may have someone. in other cases no answer really so it possibly is a case of none of your business stranger. bottom line some of the women on fb that i’ve connected with somehow years ago don’t always have something going on. that’s only for reasons they know.

one problem with this, many of these women don’t live anywhere near me. my chances were at school and after one bad experience i wouldn’t take another one. now it’s probably hard and only because these women have far more options.

as for me i can treat this as an exercise. let’s say i have something of an extended conversation with these women online the thing i have to figure out is how to steer it in my direction where she’d be interested in meeting me. perhaps not as a date, certainly as meeting a new friend. then hopefully a lot more than that, but what happens will happen.