Election Night 2016: time suckers SHOOT

Feels like the right time to revisit this episode from over five years ago. I can connect this with the last convo I ever really had with The Fiend and it turned into such an ordeal in my humble opinion. I think in both cases we just needed someone to talk to and for me in my last convo with him he wasn’t just not as willing to talk or listen as I feel as if I was on Election Day.

I may have been looking for reassurance because what led to the last convo I considered a bit triggering. It wasn’t so much that he just couldn’t empathize in that moment it was that he was in no mood to really listen to my thoughts on it. It’s one thing if it wasn’t something he really wanted to touch, however, in the months leading up to it he was mentioning a subject that was more or less a no-no for me. And at that for me to take on that subject I thought was a no-no for him however as stated in yet another post this was yet another way to further his own negativity.

Now as far as election night 2016 I don’t know what he was looking for other than to rant even as he was patrolling a grocery store parking lot on the graveyard shift. As far as I remember we never really talked about that election that year. It was a most unusual election and the results was for many unexpected. Perhaps he took an outcome for granted and it freaked him out very easily.

I think he really exposed his own hell, fire, and brimstone alarmism on a night where I was just ready to call it a night. I didn’t have the same type of alarm that he did as far as who was winning. When I think about it, just wasn’t sure where that election was going just knew that neither candidate for President appealed to me though it appears Anthony had picked a horse and wasn’t happy.

He chose me to call and repeatedly referred to the man who became President-elect a racist, rapist and declared there was going to be a race war. He also declared that he was going to move to Canada and this country is screwed. I was not in the mood for a real political discussion and definitely didn’t want to engage with someone who was very upset and unglued. While trying to have a balanced approach I told him the other candidate wasn’t all that he just stated that “we’d be screwed even less under her”. This was when I asked if we could change the subject and he agreed.

Of course we talked about a range of subjects in that moment but here’s where the convo just went into a strange direction. He asked if I saw the latest Marvel Comics picture Dr. Strange. When I answered in the affirmative then he asked “who did I go with?” When I answered no one he launched into a strange lecture about how I needed to start dating or all the women will start laughing at me – oh right that’s encouragement.

He noted that I was a loner “which is just fine with you” but I “make good money so you really don’t have an excuse”. He made a pitch for me to again use PoF.com. I just said OK as if to say this convo isn’t going any further and he had to keep it going “I know what that means. Give me one reason why you can’t do it.” I didn’t give him a reason just my typical way of dealing with something like this is to say hardly anything as if to say I’ll consider it.

To give some background he knows I like to go to the movies but as a “mentor” it was important for me to take someone to the movies. That was his priority, why I have no clue as stated many times on this blog he’s a disappointed father that’s his schtick. I just think in his mind he feels like what suits him is for me to have some female companionship. On the other hand while he claims to get a lot of action with the ladies to one time graphically telling me one sexual encounter with a grandmother during that period I just see a man who’s just single and chasing pu$$y not really companionship.

Aside from the fact that since I cut ties now he later became engaged. YaY him as long as he’s serious which I suspect he probably isn’t but that’s not my business anymore.

Anyway as for PoF.com he’s mentioned that site to me before. When we were still working at The Show we were regularly taking the train back to the south side from work and he would start mentioning that site frequently. His main selling point was to predict that “you could get laid by next week“. As far as how his campaign went I just wasn’t interested. I checked out the site and saw nothing I really wanted to connect with out there.

I usually just demurred and stated that I didn’t see the point and I liked connecting with women who went to school at Hillman College. Well not specifically Hillman I was more referring to connecting with women on Facebook before they had their own dating services. He was not deterred it was his mission to get me to connect with a woman as me being a man without a woman was just an issue for him.

He would at that point probably 2012-13 just would follow up with me. Did you finish your profile? Did you upload a profile pic? I usually just said no and probably cited finances as far as why I just didn’t have much interest. For those of you who have kids, you put on the pressure then you find out how uninterested the kids are in your ideas here’s a good example.

Anyway until election night 2016 he brought up PoF.com again and as it turned out for the last time. The difference between 2016 and just about four years earlier was that this time he dropped the sales tag of you could be laid by next week to just get a date and get you some female companionship before you turn 40.

However, as far as me not having much success with women he couldn’t help but continue to take his shots. Even kept mentioning the name of one young lady he insisted I take to a comedy show at a downtown theater which fell apart because I just wasn’t into it. He wanted to keep blaming me for what happened with that until I saw the confused look on his face with no further answer beyond “you blew it with her.” The look on his face was basically I’m no longer buying that answer and he knew it. He ultimately left it alone.

Anyway let’s turn this 180 degrees and discuss how he ranted about some women near the end of our convo. First I had to listen to him rant about the elections now I had to hear a rant about how he was talking to a woman over time and some other woman he knew decided to interfere with the motive that “she was lonely and she didn’t want her girlfriend to have anyone“. My advice which I hope was sensible – and could probably be easily ignored by Anthony – was he should just leave them alone which he easily agreed stating that he already has. There I go being a friend to someone who really was no friend of mine.

Anyway what a strange up and down conversation. Frustrating, tiring and a bit long lasting two hours, I didn’t go to bed until the wee hours of the morning. I missed some of the results but that’s OK did some catching up as I wanted to follow this one.

To give you a break down this happened about a month after the episode of The Next to Last Drop. I do hope you follow the original Election Day post.

Also it was election day somewhere in the country on Tuesday, hopefully you did your civic duty.

Savings revisited

The post that I wrote over a year ago with that title is a tad tongue in cheek with the added reasoning, that I saved some money at that point in time. This whole episode started off strange and took place during the time that the Hustler started working at The Show over nine years ago.

I probably could’ve revisited this odd episode last month but never got around to it, and note I went through a whole month without mentioning him. Either way it was strange to see a graying older man working with us in uniform at that point in time. Yes we need to work and get a job where we could find one, however, how did things kick off in the long run he found out about me and I let him in.

Allow me to state admittedly the video is a representation of the “let me in” phrase. More than it’s meant to represent the Hustler. What I will admit though is that in my post at the end of last year about his last attempt at contact I had referred to him as a fiend as opposed to being a friend. Moving on…

I told him about some minor aspirations I had while we were talking, he seemed strangely curious about me in the beginning. He wanted to know why I never got promoted there, well to start aside from trying to be a “crew leader” the year before evidently they weren’t hiring for that at all. I also learned at various points during that year after his arrival that he was under consideration for a supervisor role, more on that later.

Anyway my tactical error in the beginning was I gave him a ride home in my mother’s vehicle. For whatever reason it gave him license to ask a number of very rude and personal questions such as “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” He knew I got a degree from a liberal arts college and indicated that I was interested in teaching and remember I just met him “NO! You can’t handle it!” Those were two moments that I could’ve kicked him right out of the car and left him on the expressway to figure out for himself how to get home, but I didn’t I went to his house on the east side of the city.

As I got closer to his part of the city I remember that he complained on the way about all those shuttle buses along the way. There was a concert taking place at an abandoned property the city hoped to redevelop and those buses were there to take care of those people. He had nothing positive to say about that at all. I dropped him off and just remember yours truly had to work with him.

At some point we exchanged facebook friend requests and phone numbers because I didn’t mind being a good coworker. I might need something and as it turned out he needed something. He did call me one evening before coming into work and he was already going to call in a favor, he wanted to borrow some money.

This is where I send you to the Savings post to see the story itself. I just wanted to give some background on the situation. Now I want to give you a conclusion of what happened in the weeks afterwards.

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Well, I didn’t work too hard at reconnecting with him. However, I was never forceful as far as telling him to buzz off, he kept finding reasons to come around. One day on the floor he walked right up to me as I was on my cell phone at that moment, I look up and he asked with some emotion “Why don’t you speak to me?” Translation, you owe me your time and I demand it. He reminds me that I have his phone number and facebook to be in touch.

For the most part I avoided him after that and one night he just walked up to me and asked for a ride home. I gave him a ride home, again had no real wish to say no. The fact that I left him at the theater after asking for some money should’ve gave him the answer he needed but we’re talking about Planet Hustle. That was when I told him I shouldn’t be driving anyone home in my mother’s car per her instruction he seemingly understood, but was later able to get that privilege back. There was a period of time where I limited my interactions with him but if that paternal instinct kicks in he’ll come around.

As stated the red flags were flying and in light of the changing situation at the job during that particular summer I ignored them. He served his purpose during that time, but found myself wondering if he might have indirectly caused some things. He’s not particularly loyal unless he’s getting what he needs and even then he’s still not loyal. Should’ve learned Jack V…well it took some intervening issues years later for me to realize this.

What helped to turn the situation around for the next year was his plug to be a theater manager at a neighborhood cinema. I put my eggs all in one basket for that one and didn’t get it – the start of the streak era. One night we were working and we were discussing future opportunities with this local theater and out of nowhere he states “I just don’t get you

At that moment I look back confused and he stated “Sorry for changing the subject, but you keep pushing me away”. I would say this was the moment the distance began to change. He didn’t want any distance and largely we got closer.

Between summer of 2011 and roughly into the fall of 2017 with him around were some odd years. I’m still learning to beware of who I allow in my space and what information to share. And thankfully this has been one year where as far as contact it’s been largely quiet from him.

Oh wait, forgot to explain. I heard various things about Anthony becoming a supervisor at the Show especially from Henry’s crew. Who knows how far that could’ve went but I’ve heard more on that from Ant himself since we both left the Show. He attributed never getting close to that role as they couldn’t control him. He also let out that he wanted a certain wage in order to take on that role. Remember he likes to negotiate and insure that others know to negotiate as well. Evidently the bosses at the theater said never mind.

Either way I had to explain what I wrote earlier in this post without having to later write another post about the Hustler.

“You need a friend”

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Before writing this post when someone turns around and says they think or it seemed like “you need a friend”, they may not always be trying to be your friend. It’s really a jarring thing to be told. It’s really jarring to hear someone who wanted to be your friend tell you that they felt so bad for you because they believed you had no friends.

Well this is one reason why I decided to cut ties to The Hustler. He knew what he was trying to do when he decided when we worked at the theater to connect. And it helped that out of being a good person I gave him a ride home and it enabled him to start probing with the question “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” when I first met him. Either way I was weakness rich enough for him to come in and decide that he needed to take me under his wing so that he can take advantage of yours truly more.

I would dare say he had really been one of the more honest people I met. Not long after the ride home and not long after he had started at The Show he was quick with his hand out asking for money. Which if you read the first savings episode he never got because I left him at the theater as he not only expected some cash, he expected a ride home as well. When he called me and left a voicemail I could tell the disappointment in his voice when he realized I was gone. It was definitely an episode of avoidance.

With this said I wanted to juxtapose something and this was a post I wanted to write. The time that Anthony was at The Show overlapped the period with Candice – a young lady of about 19-20 years old who tried very had to connect with yours truly. I originally wrote an episode I considered apocryphal which may have been when I first met her, however, I remember that episode I really don’t recall who that person was.

All the same when she did try to connect at one point it became “I tried to talk to you because it seemed like you needed a friend.” When she tried that I continued my jackass act with her as I kept acting like Stone Cold Steve Austin repeating WHAT? to her. Almost as if I didn’t hear her though in reality when I think about it now she just came on strong for someone who just came out of nowhere expressing interest with her boisterousness.

So Ant’s and Candace’s time at the Show basically overlapped that summer in 2011. While The Hustler remained another two years Candice would be gone by the fall.

Candice had become the one who got away. And because I never really found out her true motives I really don’t know what they are. I just know that my behavior towards her was very unwelcoming and she was the type that for a time would keep trying. She did snap at yours truly once when I wouldn’t respond to her after repeated attempts. I learned later her good buddy was the one-off foe Missy. She may well have for reasons only she knows genuinely liked me and did something about it.

I now find myself wondering if she’d have been the one thing that would have helped me avoid the time-consuming friendship with The Hustler. At this point I just don’t know, but would being accepting of a rather young rambunctious woman who all the sudden wanted to connect would’ve made the difference with an older man who had ulterior motives who also wanted to connect.

What I do know now is that the friendship I had with The Hustler wasn’t real. He did’t give a damn about anything other than what I could do for him. He would create a situation where I would need him or for him to come to the rescue.

And also who knows perhaps one was more honest and compatible than the other. Perhaps one relationship could’ve happened more organically with little or no manipulation. Most importantly perhaps one relationship won’t prove to be costly. For this I will never know.

Holidays

Well time to take a break until after the New Year, however, there are a couple things I want to note.

First I deleted my facebook dating profile. Either I won’t play with it anymore or just start fresh and retool. It’s like my forays in such apps as Happn, Tinder or even Bumble. At least with those other sites I’ve had some success though no dates, I probably didn’t have the same patience with facebook. I will try again ultimately.

Finally, I heard from an old “fiend” on Christmas unexpectedly.

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Just to recap, the last phone call was in January and any other attempts at contact was on facebook in February and of all places on instagram in August. I had to change my settings on facebook so that he won’t feel as free to communicate with me there. I outright blocked him on instagram to really discourage contact.

Of course that still leaves my phone which he would still call and text. It’s just him finding a door and trying to open it and continue the “situationship”. It’s evident he wants to pull me back to “Planet Hustle” no matter how long I avoid his phone calls and texts or even social media.

Actually, I know he knows how to get that theatre as I’ve met up with him there twice in the years that I’ve known him.

Anyway, in 2020 we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Merry Christmas!

Happy New Years!

Happy Holidays to all!

Grooming

I was trying to come up with a grooming episode with regards to The Hustler. I realize this years after cutting ties to him. We’re talking about a different form of adult grooming and in this case well we know what he was doing, he found someone he could beg off of. Remember he’s a user he sees something he needs at a given moment and tries to get it. Couple that with some aspects of his control issues….

I could say the grooming began the night I gave him a ride home because I’m such a nice guy. Remember he asked one wild question that night among others and why well I think he was really gathering data. I told him some things about my background and he turns it into I can’t believe you’re at The Show. Well I never really anticipated that he as others did had such a dour view of the world. I think his negative disposition is why he engages in the actions he does.

I find myself wondering if he saw in yours truly someone who was socially awkward and used that as an opportunity to try to connect. Thinking about it now he spent a good period of time trying to connect. How does it do it? With his more paternalistic instincts, I think Ant strives to be a father figure. He hadn’t just done this with yours truly surely, though he tries with everyone else who’ll allow him to. And true to form because I can be a nice and trusting guy who like to see the good in everyone I allowed him to.

Most of his attempts to connect and get involved I never asked him to. He was one of the first people I really told about what was going on with Missy. Events finally came to a head with that young rambunctious boss b!tch. And then there were some other things that let to the party that he didn’t want me to go to which I told in the first gaslighting episode.

Ultimately as things began to happen after a period of distance for most of the summer after he arrives on the scene we gradually start to warm. What I would say is sometimes, if you’re not that strong of a personality perhaps you need a stronger personality behind you. That’s what Anthony was at the time or I wanted to believe he was or better yet this is what he realized he needed to be. I’m guessing that’s his motives once I began to grow distant, he needed to be something for yours truly this way he could try again to get what he needs especially if that’s a ride home or some cash. Better yet someone to pay for his food because he had no cash…..

Also remember one time that during the next summer he put me onto this management gig at a theater in the neighborhood. This I believed was a great opportunity to get away from The Show and the increasing stagnation there. Of course I won’t go through what happened with that word for word other than it didn’t happen. However Ant was in the process and according to him he would’ve been a general manager. He was talking about possibly bringing me and others from the theater with him. Since I wasn’t going to get it outright I was hoping for this because I was READY TO GO and now it’s just moving at a snail’s pace.

One night we were working and talking about this possible gig and I was complimenting Anthony because I wanted this to happen. Suddenly he does in his infamous words a “woman move“. In suddenly and awkwardly changing the subject he quickly says, “I just don’t get you”. When he does that I look back like the hell!

“Sorry for changing the subject” he says, but one of thing he does to justify this odd pivot was to state that “You keep pushing me away”. To be honest in 20/20 hindsight, he kept giving me reasons to his outspoken nature, his need to get into things that shouldn’t concern him, his need to beg early on in our work relationship, to name a few things caused me to stay back from him. To call this a woman move was to inject emotion into what should’ve remained a discussion on business. And it causes me to go on the defensive unfortunately.

After this we got closer. In the new year after this we began to hang out. Just remember earlier the year before he was texting me about having coupons for McDonald’s and I showed no interest. Besides I can go to McDonald’s anytime I wanted to. Regardless it would lead to an interesting year where in spite of his seeming support on some things the negative aspects of his personality comes out.

Savings

I have never really gave a sequence of events for the night that Anthony the hustler who after starting his job at The Show was quickly willing to ask yours truly for money. It wasn’t long (perhaps a week, my memory isn’t that clear anymore) after I offered him a ride home on the south side and inquiring about my life rather rudely. Little did I know the door I had opened.

Not long after this we were waiting for the train one evening and – well he almost directed me – we connected on facebook and I gave him my cell phone number. In my mind why not, I might need a work related favor from him, however, little did I know he was going to be quick to ask an even bigger favor than I had expected from him.

One night during the week, I had a shift that started at 6 PM or so and my mother allowed me to drive her car that evening. At some point before leaving home I saw on my phone (a Blackberry that was out of style as soon as I had bought it) that he had called. What does he want I thought at the time and chose to ignore it because he can’t want something so soon after we just got connected.

So I drive to work, and in those days I carried a tote bag with me to carry my uniform and work hat. Usually I take it into the building with meto our locker room where I would change into my full uniform before going on duty for the night. At some point Anthony finds me doing my rounds on the floor. He may have asked me about his phone call, however, he fell into his pitch asking “Can I borrow some money from you?” about coming up short and needing a few dollars until payday when he promises to pay yours truly back – hence one part of the reason for the title of this post. Which threw me off badly alas my mind wasn’t willing to just say NO to a guy who just asked for money a short time after I had just met him….

So anyway this bothered me all night long until I ran into Henry who was also working that night. I was led to believe The Hustler not only was expecting some cash, he also expected to get a ride home that night. I told Henry the story and he suggested I leave him there. Thus I hatched my plan.

I made sure when I made it to my unpaid 30 min break that I got my things out of my locker and put it in the car. It was in preparation for my quick getaway from The Hustler who had marked me to be used rather quickly (and I wonder if it was based on that weird conversation we had on the ride to his place). It probably didn’t even take 10-15 mins to get my belongings.

Once it was close to my quitting time, Anthony starts coming around and following me. Believe me I was nervous as hell very uncomfortable about doing something so impolite, but what Anthony did was also impolite and it was a problem for me at that point. He was expecting a ride home and some cash. I don’t remember how I got away from him, perhaps mgmt called him away or something. However as soon as possible I clocked off for the night, ran to the car, and drove off! I had successfully ditched Anthony….

Hence the other main reason for the title of this post. 😛

When I got home I saw that he called and left a voicemail. I start to listen to the voicemail he calls out my name and I could tell the disappointment in his voice. I didn’t finish listen I immediately deleted the voicemail. He never spoke of what happened that night again, and Henry joked later that Anthony was upset when I left without him because he had wanted to get a hot dog with the borrowed cash. The only response from Anthoy offered for that evening was a later attempt by him to connect again asking “Why don’t you speak to me?” So if that was a sign of anything because I never told him to buzz off after that it wasn’t a signal of deterrence and he was going to keep coming around.

And also I knew enough of his background to find his quick request for money strange. He had left his job as a mgr at a dollar store to take on a minimum wage job (of eight and one quarter) at a movie theater. He also told me that he was once a hot shot mgr at a local grocery chain from which he retired at 40 (seriously?). For a man in his 50s, why is he going around looking for someone to mooch money off of when he should be in a far better position than he was then or even is now.

Updates

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Sometimes I’m always in a state of re-evaluating things. Remember last year I just decided that it was time to not write as much about my time at “The Show”. I think of my time at the theater as a baseline according to where I should go in the next five years. In this case, it should go the opposite of what happened there. I was largely successful in that I found a job with great pay, good benefits, and of course growth!

Lately I’ve wrote a lot about two dramas that occurred in my life since last year. To start I wrote my most recent post about Rog just recently just to illustrate that I found out something about him since he’s no longer an associate of “Fresh Foods”. Also remember that he was no longer the mgr of my former dept at “The Hole” and was shipped to another store as a supervisor. Then I dug into timelines what happened and expressed my own thoughts about him as I tried to return to the company where I was successful.

Then there’s Anthony the hustler. It’s not really a drama as much as it become a shift he quickly became less of a friend due to a communications blackout that effectively started the summer of 2017. I had to realize that he was a hustler, who often sought a small amount of change for any contrived need he can come up with. I’ll admit that if a door was cracked open – often by yours truly – for the opportunity to be taken advantage of he’d come right in! I’m mostly upset that I was slow to catch onto his pattern.

Anyway part of the re-evaluation here is that what are their effects towards me today. Well the effects are that I made some tactical errors on both sides. Be on time for one and on the other enforce my boundaries because some people want to break them down no matter what. And don’t become engrossed in drama – external drama mainly – to allow someone else to come in and do you a favor so that they can turn around and say you owe them. Perhaps Anthony in trying to influence me to change jobs last year was trying to put me in a situation where I again had to owe him! In his case I’ve been giving more than he gave me, his job leads resulted in no job and often he threw it to me to follow-up with these mgrs who interviewed me or I was supposed to interview with.

Either way I’m hoping that for a long time this will be the last time you will hear about either individual. Rog is so far in the rear view mirror I doubt he will ever be heard from again. I could be surprised, but it’s probably doubtful that I will run into him again and if I did hopefully the roles will be reversed. I’m the mgr and he’s the job seeker looking for the next opportunity and I can see through his resume of accomplishments.

As for Anthony, I get the feeling occasionally he’ll try to call me looking for something. I never came up with a strategy other than ignoring him. However if he’s devoted a lot of time mentally to my lack of response to him, he probably doesn’t understand. On the other hand he might be good, he got what he needed for as long as he could get it and has likely moved on quickly to someone else who’ll give him what he needs. I have to accept a loss because it’s time to stop this flow of cash that he has sought since we first worked together over seven years ago.

Like I said, time to let those two stories go. With Anthony if anything changes with him I’ll update you all. Especially if I communicate to him that it’s time to move on. Regardless I realize there are some things on my plate and some other things that need to be on my mind, and I don’t need the expense of taking care of someone else’s needs.

Finally I have some opportunities to consider coming up with “Fresh”. Perhaps I can try for associate buyer at my new store. I feel that there are some aspects of this job I may not be entirely comfortable with, but one way to look at it was with the job I held when I started and restarted with the company I got comfortable with it eventually. Of course I consider another job I had when I never did settle down and get comfortable. Regardless perhaps I have a small time to consider the opportunity, but I have to decide soon. And even then if I express interest then they have to get me comfortable with the job and that means I have to learn to buy. Time will tell regardless!

And as always if anything moves on that front I will update you as well.

Reconnect

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Anthony called me again, this time while I was at work. He doesn’t know exactly my work situation so thus well he doesn’t entirely know whether or not I’m available – at his beck and call. It almost echoes the time he called me at work I txt him back telling him I’ll return his call later and he replies with “Why don’t you come down with me to Finer Food’s, you’ll make more money and you’ll be closer to home”. It’s as if he needs to take the opportunity to convince me to change jobs for him.

Anyway allow me to give you a quick timeline.

To start the last time I ever talked to him was back in June 2017. During that month he puts on a full-court press starting with a “call me 911” txt. He calls me two more times before eventually I call him back and at that point he gives me a pitch basically letting me know that he needs to borrow some money for his son’s medical bills. I agree and we later meet at a barbershop where he proceeds to just pivot our conversation into some areas I think he shouldn’t but won’t enforce my boundaries on. No need to go into that again at least to keep this point simple. Just know this had been the last time I had seen him…

One thing I learned about him was that for some reason he needs me to know some of “Deranged Barney’s” movements. Perhaps he saw him on the train one day or he wants to go over the last bizarre incident that almost cost me my job at the theater and Barney lost his job over it himself. He will casually bring up his name in conversation which leads to the last time I talked to him on the phone. Which was near the end of that month.

Which leads to the last time I called Anthony which was after I ran into the deranged one. To my disappointment Anthony couldn’t even relate to the fact that I wanted nothing to do with him. His only words were to tell me that it was cold for me to just walk away from him with no response, no reaction. I could’ve just said “Hey what’s up! How’s it going?” And says all this knowing the history which is very contemptible perhaps on both sides admittedly.

For some reason he never caught on to my clues to end the conversation and get some rest. He continued to complain that he was soooo tired – I’m lead to believe he had the early shift at his store on that day. Finally I just simply said to him that he should get himself some rest and I’ll talk to him later. The last time we connected by phone.

He txts me the next month letting me know some news that I had already told him. For example I told him Harve got promoted at “The Show” to senior mgr and yet he tells me the same news I already knew. He makes a mention of the money he owes me from last month. I attempt to call him back and my call goes to voicemail, I leave a msg and he never replies. Alright!img_2594

He has no idea of some of the changes I went through at “The Hole”. Basically there was a period of radio silence between us and we’re both responsible. For a good period I never rushed to get in touch with him and nor was he in a huge rush to be in touch. He also evidently changed his phone number so the number I had been txting and called in the past probably no longer work. And besides there was a time I’m pluck him out of the ether to talk to him. Strangely enough that has changed and only because I came to some conclusions while he decided to not say a whole lot from roughly July last year to February other than wishing me a happy birthday on my FB wall during the holidays.

Before he starts calling again he writes on my FB status with regards to a movie I saw and states “You never said what theater you went to”. Finding that irritating I simply delete his msg no word no warning just delete. He has the tendency to open some can of worms almost as if he thrives on it!

Then February four phones calls from a new number I don’t recognize, and by the third call Anthony finally sends a txt telling me to call him. I ask who it is since he never identified himself – remember I don’t recognize this number – he confirms I fail to call him. After this he calls one more time I just let my cell ring…

Then near the end of June he txts me about a movie palace that is expected to be refurbished by the city. He just sends a txt and I miss it for a few weeks and had no plans to respond.

Then this month he calls me again while I’m at work. I see his name on my phone as a missed call though so far the only phone call I see for that day is from him. As I began to realize he’s a persistent fellow. And this is how we did become friends years ago, I back off and he just plays smarter. Though the difference between now and years ago when we first met at $h1tplace is that well we don’t currently work together now!

That’s the timeline and it appears he may remain persistent. I feel as if that’s how he had been when we first worked together in 2011, he was going to seek an opportunity to connect. If my distance wasn’t an indication to him he was going to keep working on it perhaps because he realized that it benefited him to do so. And wasted little time in trying to take advantage, especially when we first met.

The radio silence continues as I just find plenty of reasons to believe he was never a friend just a user. And true to form, I’m guessing Anthony has no earthly idea why I’m ducking his phone calls. Assuming he’s thinking much about it, and knowing him if I do get into touch with him again Anthony is just going to interrogate me demanding an explanation as far as why I won’t speak to him. It’ll be about why I won’t talk to him and why am I avoiding him and it’ll never occur to him that it’s his behavior. If I tell him he still won’t understand.

For now I feel as if the best move is to do nothing and just don’t be in a rush to respond to him. Let him show his persistence even if so far there are months in between his attempts to contact me.

Reconnect

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In Hustler I said that my dear old martial artist friend Anthony – who seems to like to beg for money in spite of his big talk – hadn’t contacted me since February. Then he later texts me about a local movie palace that has long been shuttered. He knows I have the interest although in the case of that building there’s not much I’d want to do with it since I’m not a rich man.

It’s him trying to get the money train flowing again. I’ve concluded a while ago that he’s really a hustler. There when you need him but sometimes I wonder about his conclusions. His angles go into left-field to me and I’ve begun to realize that more and more.

In that last post about him I realize I was overthinking when talking about him. I made it about a grand scheme and I feel there is something to it. Then again I always suspected that he would try to get in touch with me again. In this case a txt that I could merely ignore which he notes.

Just think a few months ago when he txt’d me I shot back a “I’m sorry who is this?” and he responds and I never did even if he called again later. He has a history of not getting hints and if I point blank told him it still wouldn’t be the end of it. Radio silence doesn’t always work, he can be persistent case in point when he was trying to get me to call back his “Finer Foods” store a few years ago.

Either way he may call me again or txt me again. When he does I will be in no rush to answer. Here’s another funny thing about that I didn’t realize he sent me a txt until a few weeks after he sent it. I missed it because I wasn’t entirely looking for it! 😛

Hustler

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I’ve had to realize that an old friend Anthony – my martial artist friend who worked with me at “The Show” – is a hustler. I remember that he used to refer to those individuals who work 10 jobs as hustlers, he seemed to look down on that. Although to be fair at one point since I’ve known him he seemed to be working two jobs. Having done that myself during the course of this blog, it’s not entirely easy!

All the same, remember how he started off our work relationship. All I had to do is take him home in my mother’s car and he started asking questions and he probably was evaluating me. Next thing I know he asks the second question I thought was out of line which is “Can I borrow some money?” He hardly wasted any time doing so and even worse even if it caused me to back off since we just me it only served to cause him to change his strategy. I just wish that I had been smart enough to see that well he wasn’t going to stray too far from his programming.

I had to realize that he always had an agenda. When he caught himself looking out for my interests at work or even when I was trying to look for another job it was often about him. One time when I told him about an interview I got for a competing theater chain he suggested something counter-intuitive to me which was to negotiate and if I don’t get what I want be prepared to walk – and I was like “Huh?”. I don’t know what I wanted yet other than a job offer which needless to say I never got so when he asked about hours and such all I could tell him was that we just never got that. As far as that this should be the answer, if we never went there no job offer is coming at all!

This let’s me know – though years after the fact – that this was really about him. If I was more in interview mode than negotiation mode for a mere minimum wage job even if there was a possibilities for further opportunities at that company then it was doomed to fail. I’d have flopped anyway in spite of my best hopes and intentions and somehow he’d find a way to blame me for it depressing me further.

Not to stay negative on him but if it hadn’t been for him I wouldn’t have tried for that mgmt position at a neighborhood movie house. While I never imagined the disarray that took place there after that interview it was still a worthwhile experience. Sadly I was destined not to get the job whether or not I did well with that interview. While Anthony felt bad that it fell through that this was something he helped orchestrate largely because he knew I wanted this. I never told him the reason but if there was a reason this was my escape away from the place I knew as “S**tplace”.

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His tips that I took advantage of were for jobs that he was working. The opportunities at the local theater, “Finer Foods” (which didn’t work out for a variety of reasons outside of our control possibly), and finally a home goods store near downtown Chicago. Then this leads me to a conclusion for some reason he wants me close to him – and is probably why he wanted so bad last year for me to consider working at “Finer Foods”. All the sudden and with my experience at “Fresh Foods” he tried to sell me on it with a simple “You’d make more money” and with my experience trying to get on with them I’d start coming up with excuses which he seemed to ignore.

Another more potent conclusion with this: he wants me beholden to him. Ahhhhhh, for what he does for me I have to owe him something. Helping me to find a better opportunity – even when I’m not looking for one (especially when for a good stretch I was doing so well at “Fresh”). I could include his attempt to get me to buy tickets for myself and a ex-coworker from the theater which is one could conclude that well he treated that nice young lady like an object to be passed around. Regardless no matter how much he can claim I blew it, he was a lousy matchmaker as we never connected in the first place. Again as much as his need to direct me to his own jobs leads this wasn’t as much about me as it was him!

Also I had to realize that he may just be used to being a dominant person. Bad news is that he’s a dominant person that’s needy. The need is about money it could be he’s generally lonely. I feel he had an inability to connect with people beyond his need to just have to find a way to dominate the scene. So his need to provide unneeded advice isn’t always just directed towards me. He often does this to everyone though he should know who’ll listen to him and who won’t. In my case I’ve given him a reason to think I’ll listen to him even though he may also know that I won’t follow up.

All the same this is why I know he tends to overreact to things. Trying to check me before I make a mistake even though perhaps I wasn’t even thinking about that. Let’s say he asked me to send him something (probably a draft e-mail or whatnot he’s not that good with typing evidently) and then he might come back to me later when I type out one errant phrase. His dominant side also is a clue that he viewed our relationship far differently than how I might’ve viewed it. Perhaps he sees himself as a fatherly figure I could look at him as a brother but he just wants to be more over me than anything. This is not a friendship which is how I prefer to view our relationship. Well most of my relationships outside of family or romance.

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DB? lol

Which also reminds me when we did talk last year and we go onto the subject of “The Show” he often seemed to discuss the negative. He may not understand that I don’t enjoy talking about it, but he does like to remind me about one time that I went off on “Deranged Barney” he seems to like for me to go over it again and again – another irritating thing he likes to do. When I called him after running into DB his response was to throw it back to me telling me I need to let it go and then just say what’s up man how’s it going. Essentially blowing off that I have no need to speak to that man again.

Beyond that he literally does run me down on the phone. From his words he told me that he felt so sorry for me, claiming that I had no one no friends, no male influence, he tried to take me under his wing as a mentor. Bear in mind when we first started working together he already came out to start begging for money. And based upon the knowledge that he had such a pitiful view of yours truly and likes to come on strong he just wasn’t the mentor or male influence that I needed.

And since he seems to like to mention that I’m a virgin – something I won’t discuss with him especially since he started off this way when we first met – and his need to dispense dating advice or even worse keeps recommending women I work with at the theater he seems to have some disgusting habits with regards to women. Granted – and surprisingly – he’s had some success with women that is he’s getting his d**k wet according to him and of course being a man in his 50s has several children. If only the grannies he claims to have f**ked realize that he’s showing their images – no nudes mind you just pics of women he’s connected with – letting me know how much action he’s getting.

Worse image he gave me was that one granny he claimed to have had relations with asked him to pull out. She used her hands to insure a “money shot” across the face. For some reason he wants me to know how nasty these women want it. With that said, why does he pursue grannies, because they won’t likely get pregnant. Though at the theater he did claim that he had relations with some of our younger coworkers who were largely in their 20s. Those silly young things like the wild @S$h0l3s as I now believe Anthony is.

Finally, I basically hadn’t heard from Anthony essentially since February when he called me from a different number. I noted that in another post he sent me a txt asking me to call him to which I never did. I just asked him who he was and he responded, simply decided that he probably wanted something. Thankfully he hadn’t really pressed that he wanted me to call him back since that time. Believe me if he really wanted something he’d put on a full court press and then when I did he’ll just comment hes been trying to get my attention and he just doesn’t understand.

I suppose for now he probably doesn’t need anything pressing – especially money. Perhaps he’s finally sensed that I’ve been frustrated with him. I also consider the fact that he’s borrowed money from me again & again and showed no urgency in paying me back. I realize our whole relationship was him looking to take advantage and keeping me in a position where he can continue to do so. Perhaps as he said he was glad that I found the job at “Fresh” and was happy that I left “The Show” that he just shows the side where he’s truly not happy for me. Perhaps that merely means that he’s losing control of yours truly.

Regardless I still feel as if he may try to get back in touch with me. When I tell friends or my mother about him they say a variety of things. They may say good riddance because I’ve not talked to him since last year. They may say he’s a sociopath and I should avoid contact at all costs. Part of me wants to tell him off which could prove to be dangerous as I view him as a troll akin to my so-called arch nemesis DB. So I’m not sure what the next move is right now, I do somewhat expect that he may try to contact me again!