Recently I got several calls from a number I don’t recognize – my policy is usually not answer unrecognizable phone numbers if they’re someone to answer hopefully they’ll leave a voicemail. So after the umpteenth phone call from this number I receive a txt from this number asking me to call them. The hell….
I txted them asking them who are they? It was Anthony, the last time he did non-sense like this he made it seem urgent – this was the last time he asked to borrow money – “Call me 911”. This wasn’t the first time he sent such a txt, however, one time he did that I just said call 911 not knowing what he meant. Of course this was probably him asking for same, just me give and him take.
So anyway so far I’ve just ignored his phone calls and texts so far. When we worked together at “The Show” he often expressed irritation when I won’t get back to him and will confront me at work the next day. It’s as if I owe him my time, which, he really doesn’t but he was angling something during the two years we had actually worked together. I allowed myself to think of him as a good friend except he had an agenda of sorts.
Want to know the two first questions he asked me when I first met him. This was a bit unprovoked, out of the blue and shows that he wastes no time “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Now when I wouldn’t give him an answer it probably gave him an idea. I told him about my background and he’s expressing surprised even with the terms “You just shocked me dude”. He was expressing his more outspoken side, but that question actually offended me, the worst part is that I was driving him home from work in my mother’s car. I could’ve put him out on the expressway….
The second question which for a brief time caused me to keep my distance from him for a bit of time was probably no less than two or three weeks after he started at the theater, “Can I borrow some money”. He gave me a little speech about how he was short and he needed a little something. Like I said he wasted no time.
I told a coworker Henry about it, and his response was to just ditch him. Anthony knew I drove to work that night and was following me around as if he was going to get his cash and a ride home. I feel bogus for it, but I was just offended by him asking for money especially & I outright left him at the theater. He did call me though I never listen to his voicemail. He never brought that incident up to me again though I’m sure he had his questions that I never answered.
He did come up to me once and asked point black confronting me “Why won’t you speak to me?” Sometimes when I express displeasure with something I think he understands I don’t like it, but most of the time he doubles down. Sometimes he complains about my own personality quirks, yet I have to accept his as if he doesn’t have any. For example, he occasionally uses pornographic speech about the women he finds attractive. His willingness to talk about people behind their backs as he’ll make comments about people to me though will express irritation when I do the same thing with him.
Remember in a recent post I ran into a coworker Brandon about a mgr at “The Show” Harve. Well Anthony was someone who worked with him and claimed to have helped him get the job at the theater. Harve got promoted real quick and Anthony seemed to have been talking s**t about him, I was like I though Harve was your boy. He never responded though conversely years later when Harve became a senior mgr he was proud of him. As if the s**ttalking never happened, however, if he did it to someone like Harve as it turned out he’d do it to me. Though in my case he would do it directly to my face, not be as nasty about it. In fact it would take the tone of a disappointed father, because I would never play it the way he wanted me to.
Kind of like what happened with “Finer Foods” last year. All the sudden he kept bringing up that I could leave “Fresh Foods” and go to “Finer” with my experience and make more money. He brought it up enough times where in irritation I just simple exclaimed over the phone “YOU MUST REALLY HAVE A HARD-ON FOR ME GOING TO FINER FOODS!”. He backed off and just said “no I’m just saying”. Then maybe a week or two later he calls me at work I text him a I’ll call you back later then he txts back “Why don’t you come over here with me at Finer Foods? You’ll make more money and you’d be closer to home.”
While I did call him later I avoided talking about it letting him know at that point how well things seemed to have been going at “Fresh”. He seemed to have agreed and he never brought up “Finer” until that 911 text and he asked to borrow some money. We were in a barber shop and he pointblank asks “Are you thinking about jumping ship yet?” I simply gave another excuse and he more or less doubled down saying get an interview, know your worth, see how much money they’re talking. It’s almost as if he never picked up on the fact that I wasn’t interested in jumping ship.
Though I sort of know what’s going on here. He was never making a suggestion, he was expressing an expectation. It wasn’t going to matter what I said about whether or not I was going to change jobs from one company to another. All that mattered to him was influencing me into going into the direction he wants me to go. Perhaps this is always his M.O. even at “The Show” and masked by his own agenda. His own agenda never involved looking out for me when things began to turn the theater job into “s**tplace”. He wanted something and being friendly to me would get him that.
BTW, another reason I haven’t really talked to him was my job situation. If he knew that I wasn’t working right now, he’d go over my head to solve the problem. He start telling me about the opportunities that exists wherever he is. And they may not be the opportunities in my best interest. Then I remember during the course of the streak era his attempts to help me find a job resulted in exactly three opportunities with no offers. He’s 0 for 3…
Actually while it’s been fairly recent, that I haven’t been working my communications blackout with him has been in effect really since the summer. If it wasn’t about some drama in his life he wanted to talk about with me, he wants to talk about money. The last txt from him last summer was updating me on stuff I already knew with a promise from him to pay me back the money he borrowed. I did call him not long after that left a voicemail and he never got back to me. Every now and they he’d say something on my facebook or instagram and one of those posts I just deleted because it irritated me.
Finally the last time I called him was about “Deranged Barney” an encounter which I consider a trigger. That’s not someone I ever want to encounter again because my behavior would backslide into the negative as my goal is to never do that again. So anyway, instead of letting me talk this out his first instinct upon asking him “Guess who I ran into today?” His response was “D.B.?” He’s needling me about Mr. Deranged now, it’s been too much of running joke to him and not sensing how not in the mood I was for his teasing he goes into “You really need to let that go”. Instead it was like I’m a bad guy for not wanting to talk to him.
So he wants me to have a vested interest in his drama which are his children. For example the money he borrowed was for his son’s medical expenses. He gave a whole story about how he was asking for money in his family and he really needed me to give him some money. My form of cutting this off which didn’t work was I offered $20 as cold as it is to say this had nothing to do with me. In silence he just quickly shot back man you know you can give me at least $100.
The other drama he expressed to me a year earlier was he told me of an incident involving one of his daughters who he orchestrated a job at “The Show”. Apparently one of the senior mgrs decided to put their hands on his daughter and there was a bit of a drama with that. Since her daddy can involve himself in almost anything, he of course involved himself in this incident with his daughter – and with his counsel rightfully. He expressed anger for a time after this although with him knowing the senior mgr in question he talks about her like a dog but still expressed a pornographic interest in her.
So all the same, not a quandary. He’s given something to talk about on this blog and also I had a nice vacation from him. He might have been as responsible for it as I am, however, now he wants to be back in touch with me. It’s OK if a friend wants to talk to me, but problematic if it leads into, “Hey sorry I haven’t been in touch with you for a bit, however I really need something from you”…