positivity

movie-theateri talk so much negativity about “the show” consider the fact that i used to refer to it as “shitplace”. my decision long ago was only to just not be so vulgar and then enable me to say some positive things.

so let me tell you at times i dread a busy night, but it was cool to see people come to the show. sometimes it was a drag because not only you got the nice people you also got people who brought their attitudes to the movies with them. i could say the same for many of the employees but this post isn’t necessarily about them and i’ve said what i needed to say about them.

one cool thing about that job was the convenience, it was relatively close to downtown chicago. for a number of years there was little action there as it was located in a shopping center that was all vacant until my eventual departure. it was also the one job i was able to drive to and often park for free in the parking garage.

i was able to watch so many movies during downtime whether or not on an unpaid break. some of the people i met there – especially anthony – i’m still in touch with to this day. can’t say for some of the eligible and attractive young women i met. there has to be some form of effort with that on my part. of course there are many who won’t be worth the time of day.

also in part due to my work history – where i had little to no employment in my 20s – this was the longest tenured job i’ve ever held. a record hopefully to be surpassed by my current employers at a grocery store. even if i spent most of my time at “the show” frustrated it was something of a success and i learned some skill even if the young people around me never took advantage of some of the simple aspects of making sales.

another thing i should learn from this experience is that no one has any right to treat me with no respect and to find ways to quell any disrespect. and sometimes it matters not if they continue to persist which they will. the main thing is to not lose my head in the commotion keep cool and just remove myself from the situation.

another thing to consider is that talking one day with anthony he considered this gig a cakewalk. people liked to complain but it really was a simple job. my thoughts are that there are those who were just there to complain about the smallest issues while not doing a whole lot of work themselves.

of course one of my disappointments about this place was that i was never promoted. one way to fix that is to talk to the leadership. or at the very least find someone you can talk to about it and hope they will put your name forward. another thing to be mindful of is who you work with, you never know what’s going on in their minds and it may blindside you.

another friend of mine learned that with other coworkers but only after i had left and he got promoted to supervisor. he got let go because some of the workers with whom he worked before promotion decided to make him a target. either way another lesson learned.

bottom line i miss some of the excitement of the movie especially being on the inside. although i work at a grocery store now and get paid much better than at “the show” the excitement is of a different type and can’t compare to the theater. in fact it’s one reason i returned to the business briefly almost a year after leaving.

even though i don’t consider “the show” my scene anymore sometimes i return to it just to reminisce. i have yet to go to a movie there since i left, but it would be worth it at some point in the future. another thing anthony liked to say is that it’s not the place but it’s people and i’ve accepted that he’s right. just one thing it can be hard to separate the people from the place.

now i can finally consider from where i come from to where i am today. life is always about growth and there’s still more to do. maybe i’ll cross paths with the theater business again and maybe i’ll move up in that world the day i do. in the meanwhile what am i going to do where i am now?

recently

Spoke to anthony for the first time in a while. He had some dental issues as of late and wasn’t able to speak without pain so we hadn’t talked to each other in a while.

He had been fired up over this recent election. Said some rather hot rhetoric but we talked about other subjects.

We wound up on my love life. I often like to go to the show by myself. Then he starts launching off into if you don’t start dating they’re going to laugh at you wondering where you been. Seemed hurtful but I tried not to be moved by it.

He worried me about plenty of fish for the first time in years. He was on top of it for a while a few years ago but seeing my lack of interest stopped him. I’m watching the world go by but not living in it according to him.

To which I say with that he’s made a point with that. It seems that’s what happens with me and I have little problem staying in place. At that same time it’s time for me to make some moves.

Time for my own place though I have yet to decide where I should live. Time for my own vehicle although at the moment I may not be doing a whole lot of driving. Either to work or anywhere else aside from a quick trip to the suburbs.

My focus right now is to save my money and apparently get things for myself that I never did get at a different time. Perhaps for those boots I never had been able to buy for myself or that laptop and I can go on and on. Main thing is to be able to support myself whether I stay home or move out on my own. My final goal is hopefully own property only as soon as I finally get a handle on student loans.

Of course the main thing I wish for is a stable relationship. Perhaps then are some of these other goals possible.

Anthony doesn’t know that I’ve been talking to women texting back and forth with one in particular. Also there’s tinder, I’ve been getting some play but no dates as of yet.

I would call it progress as of now although something is going to give at some point. If any woman laughs at my lack of success with dating then I don’t need her anyway.

November 2013

the month before a coworker anthony suddenly quit “the show”. he had found a security job and one of his postings had been at a grocery store which later announced they were leaving the chicago area. i actually visited him at a nearby store when i got off from my job one evening to speak to him.

he had been campaigning for a security job for parts of that year. been wanting a union job and didn’t mind the odd hours of security. he really fell in for the pay and benefits in addition to not seeing any bosses during the course of his shift.

unfortunately this job didn’t last long i learned he was there according to him for seven months and i learned this after leaving the theater a year later. he had found two other jobs the next year and attempted to help me get on at both places.

i want to note that he put that local theater management job on my radar when i wouldn’t have been confident in getting the job. i was confident at the interview unfortunately however the owner made her decision it went opposition of i would get the job.

in any case he was keen on getting me to do security with him. as much as i may hate customer service in some respects i’ll pick my poison. the idea of working alone at night doing security didn’t appeal to me. i made that clear to him and he didn’t seem to like that as i was stagnant where i was at “the show”.

a few weeks after he quit, we talked on the phone and i was saying negative things about the theater. he shot off a quick, “you like it there”. he noted my lack of progress in getting out of that place and just used it against me. finally he just said “i’ve given you leads and you won’t take advantage of them you’re going to find what you’re looking for”. he was saying he wasn’t going to help me out anymore.

by this i was taken aback and somewhat upset because i don’t know where this was coming from. at this point i was in the middle of a streak where i get interviews but no job. at that point when anthony quit, the streak of no interviews had finally ended as i had no more interviews during that spring and summer.

in the meanwhile, as i found possible jobs my lack of progress made it easier for anthony to start blowing me off with the basic no keep looking you’ll find what you’re looking for line. later when he decides to call me to beg for money, his behavior towards me made it easier for me to decide not to take his calls for a while.

before that whole episode i had one interview at a suburban movie theater and had anthony inquire as to who are the key people at two other theaters as i knew he had the gift of gab to find this information out. he did that but only after beating me up for just engaging me in tough talk letting me know if i didn’t follow this up we just won’t talk much about jobs anymore. he was being tough but i was offended by this behavior.

either way things would begin to work out, i just didn’t know it at the time. for another year almost i had to stay in a frustrating situation for a little while longer.

the return

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when jack v returns again to “the show” as an unwilling “tourist”…

recently anthony and myself did lunch at a local portillo’s restaurant and one that was newly opened near downtown chicago. we seem to like to talk about some of the drama we had at “the show” as it’s often the dominating topic of discussion. of course we do veer off into other subjects.

for example when we left portillo’s we went into a local container store where he decided to track down a manager. when we hang out he often times seeks out a manager to discuss a potential job opportunity. the first time he did this his first question was management training programs.

he often likes to talk about the gift of gab which is to just talk and gather intelligence. ask a question get an answer and gather more intel. when i first saw him doing this, it was during my initial job search trying to leave our mutual employer of the time. even with his advice i still failed to even connect with a new job which could be a matter of i failed to take heed or i did and got no results at all.

he did something totally unexpected on this occasion, he went into our former employer just to use the bathroom. i’m very tempted to say he did this on purpose. and he knows the nature of my history with that place and said come in anyway i did. needless to say this wasn’t the first time i paid this place a visit and unexpectedly. the first time i did i saw the changes.

the changes when i visited was the concession stand now sells alcohol. of course due to liquor laws it would have to be sold and poured into a cup which isn’t classy but that’s what it is. alcohol can only be sold by someone 21+. those who are 21+ have an indentifier.

i see that and can say if i had remained there that would’ve been my future. i’d be pouring alcoholic drinks behind the concession stand. at least at the theater i just quit this year i’d get the opportunity to be a bartender and make some tips at least. there it would still be a minimum wage job.

often times when i talk about my history with this place i basically direct some of my comments to the people who i’ve had issues with. many of whom are likely no longer working there as they’ve likely secured their futures through school or a better job. most of the time i recognize that with many of them i’ve alienated any relationship with them. to which i say this…

some of the people i worked with who did get along with me were still happy to see me. i feel as if the ones who didn’t care for me decided to find others who felt the same way or attempted to speak ill of me to anyone who’d listen. perhaps in some cases they failed in spite of themselves. i didn’t alienate everyone and perhaps that’s the best revenge i could have.

all the same change is good. “the show” had to change their business to continue to make money. i needed to change jobs and get more than i had been getting at “the show”. also needed to change jobs because i’d have to pay for parking as an employee and that wouldn’t have been acceptable.

on top of that the people i worked with needed to change also. many of them needed to grow up and i needed to grow up. for me to grow up meant i had to leave that place behind. may that process continue…

taking shape

jack v before he is able to return to that liberal arts college…

i had started this year off with no clear plans. no job for that time although before the year was over i’d held three jobs. did two trips of out town to indiana and the south. and then two more one-nights to the liberal arts school in georgia.

after i left the second job of the year i went to the school to attempt to register. i sent an e-mail to cover my bases although i waited a minute before i made a move. it was almost the end of extended late registration and the financial aid counselor told me i won’t likely finish the process in time. she suggested i get in touch with them later that fall and work things out with them so i could return the next term.

since i had been out for over a year i had to re-apply and had been accepted. so it was a matter of getting my affairs in order so that i can finish what i started. when you think about it, it was inconceivable at the start of the year that this was possible. still my eventual return to the college in spite of my pessimism was in the future and there were some other steps to achieve before then.

during the course of that fall i was still looking for another job. i feel as if during that period it was easier to not put some effort into the search, but during this period i had gained some valuable information. still my experience was spotty in the worst way and i’d have a tough sell on my hands.

after leaving a store filling an application i ran into an old friend from high school who shall be called cecil. he was walking down the street and i went over to him when i saw him. he was on his way to work at a local entertainment center with a short order kitchen, games and rides. i followed him there after some updates on what we’ve been doing since graduation. he suggested i put in an application which i did before leaving.

before they called me instead of calling the liberal arts college, i again took the bus down to georgia to talk to the financial aid counselor. which after a few stumbles i accomplished getting financial aid before leaving the campus again that evening. with a little income earned the previous year i still had to take out some loans, however, i got some grants to play with. i had actually accomplished the unthinkable at this time and the path was cleared for me to return to school in the new year.

meanwhile the next month i got a call from that place where cecil worked. had two interviews with them one manager was more in charge of hosting as this place hosted parties. another manager would interview me the next day for a different role and that was who hired me.

as the month went on it seemed like a miserable time and something that i wouldn’t see again until time went on at “the show”. thing is i only worked there a month as it was time for me to go back to school and restart that process. the money and hours weren’t good but one milestone was that this was the first non-temporary job i held and i didn’t last long.

what happened here was that the young people i worked with took advantage of this idea of seniority. one young man irritated me engaging in some form of managerial behavior on my last day there he tried to say i needed to come in on saturday. funny thing was i already handed my notice to one of the managers that i wasn’t coming back after that friday. i never reported in on his word at all.

btw, cecil started to take advantage of seniority to start telling me what to do. and even reverted to some of his high school behaviors as in slapping me upside my head. i could’ve said something to stop it, but instead i just chose to not participate. not sure if this sent a message, however, i wasn’t going to play that then. he even engaged in some of the teasing at work and i was starting to get irritated with him when he referred to me as a nerd instead of by my name.

so whatever he enjoyed after working with me for almost a month he wasn’t happy when it turned out i was leaving. when i saw him in his regular station at the kitchen he seemed to have an attitude and was distant. when i said that job blows – repeating something that he said – he turned around and said testily “find something else”. i only laughed and it took me a minute to process what was going on and went on my way asking him to “wish me luck”.

irony of ironies, this was the one job i got away with a no call/no show. for a while as i worked i didn’t get paid and so when i saw one of the managers i made sure he got a note of those days i worked with the times that i never got paid. it may have explained why one weekend i just decided not to show up for work. plus it helped that it snowed heavily that weekend. either way it was funny when the manager told me i can come back on my breaks from school. alas i never took him up on this offer and the last two shifts i worked there was never paid.

so after i new years i left that place for good and i have little idea what happened to cecil after that. for all i know he may have moved on to the next job and to be honest he didn’t strike me as ambitious. for his behavior that brief time other than working he never wanted to advance beyond adolescence. perhaps one day i’ll find out what became of him.

the place itself is no longer open. the owner had closed this place down for good and sold via auction all of the equipment. this occurred no more than two years after i had left. so the many young characters i left behind who knows where they went if they stayed there through closing. perhaps they went to college or found new jobs who knows.

what i know is that after this i moved on to the college again where i had a longer and year rough stay. after this period i had a much longer period of unemployment. school would take up most of my time.

there will be more devoted to my time as a 20ish male virgin.

 

Overhead


I have students loans after spending many years at a liberal arts college and finally graduating. It’s likely that this is the main reason that I’m considered broke. I’ve yet to hold a job that would enable me to pay off these debts quickly.

So what’s with this talk of overhead Jack V? Well I have this friend who I’ve hinted at on this blog we’ll call him Anthony. He’s used the term overhead with me however I need to establish what this overhead is supposed to be.

As of this moment I have no children and no girlfriend on the horizon. So essentially no money to spend on anyone other than myself. Also no major bills especially rent, mortgage, or car note. So I can afford some luxury items and if I so chose designer clothes. Or even some other items of great interest such as computers or designer clothes and shoes.

My mother brought this up to me recently during a recent family reunion and threw it out there that I got plenty of money for some of the reasons I brought up above. I bought a nice hat at a gift shop and when we got home saw the price. She said she would’ve talked me out of it judging by the price then turned around and said you got plenty of money.

Funny thing is she doesn’t seem to notice that I’ve been ordering a lot of stuff online for the past year. Have plenty of shoes and clothing lying around the house. And also a lot of new stuff I bought while shopping at regular brick & mortar shops. She has lots more to complain about if that’s what she chooses to do.

All the same, while I do have the challenges of some bills with student loans & credit card bills at least I have the money to do some of the things I hadn’t been really able to do. Like I said already when my mother finally decides to retire from her current job that’ll be when I have no choice but to step up to the plate in my own right.

the pick up

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i talk sometimes about the art of the pick-up. i’ve had friends over the years try to have me talk to a random woman because they decided it was something i needed to do. at sometimes it just plain wasn’t what i wanted to do so it didn’t happen. that friend would talk about me and suggest something was wrong.

something was wrong, i’m just not comfortable with doing that. it seems i can do it easily with women online just have to come up with something clever to say or just type a compliment. only thing i’ve learned is that some women tend not to respond because they use the excuses of they don’t know me for example.

it’s also a conclusion that women seem to go for men they know or met in real life. some random guy trying to relate to them online in general it seems very easy to cut off. perhaps it’s even easy to cut off a guy who even though they met in real life before if there’s nothing there she can still treat a man as an afterthought.

at times i’ve discussed women i work with. there are quite a few whom i would date at my current job as there are a number of them who would catch my interest. unfortunately even if there were moments where i felt as if i could it’s still uncomfortable. and then of course no matter where you are as far as a job dating could still be a dangerous thing.

i can recognize now that sometimes there’s a delicate balance between maintaining a woman’s interest and sharing a little too much too soon. i realize it doesn’t take long before a woman may come up with any excuse to cut things off. it’s also possible that it wasn’t meant to be anyway.

this could apply to those women whom i connected with online in addition to those i may choose to “pick-up” in real life. another real life thing is also i seem to have a history of not responding very well to rather aggressive women. i’m sure it’s the same for women who don’t like rather aggressive men.

as much as i wish a woman would fall in my lap and or notice me i’ve got an odd catch-22. the women who would make the approach i may not respond well to them and the women i approach may have decided for whatever reason i’m not what they want.