In the weeds

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Another attempt at a “final thought” regarding our old friend (or perhaps enemy) “Ruthless Roger“. I tried it last month and had a meandering post about him as my boss with an introduction to some of his assistant mgrs or as I could call them lieutenants. One can only wonder if they also bristled under him if they viewed him as a d**k who wanted everything his way. It was said he was looking to make his mark and since he got demoted and shipped off to another store as a supervisor, likely safe to say he fell far short of it. In fact it’s safe to say he was in the weeds.

Whenever this subject comes up about Rog, the question continues to come up, “how did he get the job?” My best answer is often he got it the same way I could’ve gotten it, he applied, he interviewed, and they hired him. Of course it’s more nuanced than that, he had experience as he originally came from “Fresh Foods'” flagship location. When I recently told one of my colleagues that he was a supervisor and an assistant mgr at that store they wondered aloud that he came from such a large and profitable location and he couldn’t handle the dept he took over. When you think about it, after learning about his demotion that was my thoughts exactly.

Ideally if you want to move up in the company especially into supervisory/mgmt positions at “Fresh” you should be going through a very vigorous process. It will involve a firing line of questions from a panel, something I’ve only experienced once. One of my colleagues theorized that someone didn’t ask the necessary questions they just used Rog’s history & experience with the company as a reason to just hand him the position. My theory is also that he knew how to play the game and was able to interview well. Of course in light of how he explained why he was hiring another associate buyer now I have to call it into question somewhat. Perhaps it’s a matter of how interested he was in answering a question.

Also bear in mind last year that before Rog arrived it could’ve easily been Rayna who could’ve been the new boss. And let’s just say most of us in that dept wouldn’t have been very happy with her if it had come through. Store mgmt probably agree however they wanted her to stick around as one of the dept’s assistant mgrs. We did have a vacancy after all in that area with everything in dept mgmt leaving at that point.

Remember a couple of months ago I noted that one of my new colleagues Nick had noted that he wanted to transfer to my old dept and a supervisor (which he couldn’t/wouldn’t identify) told him to hold off because they were experiencing issues with Rog. No elaboration from Nick it was said as a matter of fact to him that is in other words “young buck save yourself the trouble you’re just getting yourself into a tenuous situation here“. Of course once Roger finally left the dept according to one of the supervisors I talked after hearing the news that things there have gotten better. The man who tried to make his mark made more of a mess of things there!

I’m going to say here what I’ve already said on this blog before though in a slightly different way. I always noted that Rog was very by the book which isn’t a bad thing, however the reality was he just had no idea how to really manage. You don’t need a book to be a manager, you have to be able to manage without using a book. Make some decisive decisions and sometimes do so without guidance. Granted it could be a double edged sword and however you arrive at your decisions you either got it or you don’t. Rog evidently didn’t have it.

Also you’ve heard variations of the idea that he wasn’t a good fit for that position, rose to his level of incompetence and/or in over his head in the job. Perhaps Rog had no idea about the position he accepted even if he had the necessary experience. My words for this had often been that he was set up to fail. Who knows perhaps the people who gave him the position did it to him or Rog did that to himself. One way to look at it, to be able to move up and manage a dept has to be something you want and I believe Roger did want it. Even if it turns out he had some deficiencies…

Finally, I visited my old store (which from this point forward will be referred to as “The Hole”) and dept last month. I spoke to a number of colleagues who gave me their own takes on what happened in my old dept with Rog. Also spoke to one of my former supervisors expressing some interest in possibly going to that store to help them out. This is something worth talking about at a later time.

Meanwhile, it’s time to lay off good ole “Ruthless” for now…

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Closure

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As stated in another recent post the final thought proved to end the storyline with something of a “whimper”. Could it have been better? Totally, however, it seems I have more to say on this subject and for the moment this is the post I’m going with. In that recent post I made sure to allude to this future post about how I think “Ruthless Roger’s” role in my firing was greatly over-estimated. In considering this now that I have returned to the company during the course of the past month.

I’ve said a lot of things about Roger such as he was set up to fail, he was a goofball, or he was by the book. Some who read this blog have referred to him as a d**k and said he rose to his level of incompetence. Yet as I sat at home for roughly the past six months and spent time wandering around Chicago it was just in me to blame him for what happened. In part, I was wrong as yours truly was responsible for the tardies that helped get me out of my job at “Fresh Foods”.

I can call Rog a d**k and say that if it was starting to become a major problem for yours truly he wasn’t that willing to work with me on it. He was very willing to let the chips fall where they may and it’s not because he had a weird vendetta against me (this is something I can’t prove). Also remember I had a train delay slip that I had hoped would allow the final tardy to be excused, unfortunately it fell into Rog’s court.

It’s easy for me to say, Mr. Hot Shot likely did nothing with it and kicked it up the food chain to his bosses. I’ll bet his bosses ultimately made the decision and Rog was like OK. Didn’t think much of it. He probably just knew to do what he was told. His bosses told him to send me to them and he did and quickly ducked right back out of that office. A stand-up guy he was….

As for his bosses what did they care? I wasn’t their direct employee even if they run the store. They went through their procedures and made their decisions based upon what corporate said or if anyone else was affected by it. I did think this was a horrible call, but that’s what it is. Roger probably thought nothing of it though I can only imagine what happened when they pulled him aside and told him he was getting demoted. I’ve learned how he had little issue stepping on people – especially using a real reason – and now his bosses stepped on him. Even more interesting that he only recently left the company.

When I successfully interviewed last month to return I had to address the question of why I left the company with my new reports. My answer was to refer to this as a fluke although I also added that this is something I have to take responsibility for. I didn’t want to make this about Rog. The reality is that it probably had little to with him as far as the tardies. On the other hand I was at the point where it was time for me to return now that he seemed to have become a non-factor effectively.

This is my closure that I believe is necessary. Now if you believe Rog was a d**k who couldn’t handle this job or as I would say was set up to fail perhaps that’ll be a future post. How did this guy get into a position where he lived up to his own incompetence. During the past month I spoke to a number of people who had their opinions. It’s probably as close to a story that I can get as far as what happened and why with him as a dept mgr. It could be said he may well have been a d**k for wanting to be “Mr. Hot Shot” however proving that he couldn’t handle it anyway.

May 2014

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Been a while since doing one of these types of posts. Probably will retread on some events already chronicled although here I’ll just note some modern day things as well.

Anyway, this month I had two interviews at two different banks. To start my mother had worked on getting me an interview at her bank. Unfortunately the branch I’d have to interview with was on the northwest side a long way from the south side. I didn’t relish it but I wanted another option from “The Show” where I was just stuck until either they squeeze me out or leave them for another job.

I went up there and ran into a snag with the trains a delay here and infrastructure work on the way there upon transferring to another route. I call the branch mgr up there just to let her know that I was going to be late and never really offered an explanation. That didn’t matter because she found a way to use it against me. She hit me with a quick skills test and then ushered me out of the building saying “we’ll be in touch”. She just had to say to me during interview “you came in almost 20 mins late, I’m not impressed”. I later found out due to the changes at this bank she got let go and it was over two years before this bank would fail costing my mother her job. In this instance I tried to do the right thing and it didn’t matter, and for karma’s sake she’s gone because she directly gave me a hard time for my troubles. Might just have been a stickler for time more than she had an issue with my mother.

My friend Anthony – who likes to beg – kind of wanted to stay on me with regards to a job at his “Finer Foods” store. He had been working on me through the winter to call them back. They did call me but got sidetracked and another store called me which I took advantage of though unfortunately I never heard from them again. In fact I did try to get through to the lady at Anthony’s store asking him if she was there on one day he said no and really had nothing else to add. Just went on to the next thing.

All the same, when I finally got in touch with his store at his insistence I called his store mgr. Set up a date and time to hopefully interview with him. It didn’t go as planned and got sent packing after waiting an hour for him to come out and meet with me. The excuse was the store mgr was meeting with his boss on a store walk around. I was upset txt’d Anthony accordingly and never spoke to him until about two days later. While having to explain again what happened (and I had to explain again over two years later) he chewed me out for not following up with them. I had the idea that they’d call me – well they never did even if the associate who did see me did tell me so – and thus I never intended to call them back and worry them about the interview.

Anthony may never have understood this but his behavior during this time was enough to turn me off on working up there at his store. I never blamed him for the store director but his behavior killed this desire enough where when I called him and he decided to tell me to call his HR contact I just wouldn’t acknowledge and said “talk to you later’. That time I called him I was really trying to call him about something else, however, he just couldn’t let go of what happened with his store the previous month. He just had a laser focus on that and never mind that perhaps I moved on to other opportunities.

Meanwhile I continued to work at “The Show” with nothing really dramatic going on and had one more interview near the end of the month with another bank. I felt it went much better than the other interview with my mother’s bank (huge surprise actually), however, I didn’t get it. Though I went to a theater nearby the branch to watch the latest X-Men movie so it wasn’t a totally wasted trip. I consider this a rewards more than anything even if I didn’t walk away with a job offer.

This was the peak of the “streak era” as things did begin to heat up. In about 5 more mos my time at “The Show” would be drawing to a close the frustration of disrespect from my bosses at the theater and some of my colleagues (well calling them colleagues give some of them too much credit) was going to be at an end.

The return

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The final thought on “Ruthless Roger” is coming this weekend. This will ultimately end the chapter on the odd period which has just ended as I’m currently employed again with “Fresh Foods”. Just more observations and I work with someone who worked with Rog at another store.

* When Roger first started as our boss, he decided to work on a drain near my venue. This was during the day and at that point I was starting to get those weird mid day shifts – remember I had been doing receiving for about two months. My venue had food which is to be served to customers. As he pulled a brush out of drain he pulled a lot of debris up and warned us to back up because of airborne spores. He says these spores could make us sick. He says if he calls in sick we’ll know why.

I feel as if Rog let his OCD get the better of him on this particular day. Who knows if somehow he was already picking on the smell from the drain or it was in an e-mail and he just decided to do it during the day. For the most part when we have to clean drains like that we would normally wait until almost closing to get it done.

I don’t know if this was incompetence or just bad timing, but I thought about this fairly recently. Whenever I talk about Roger – mostly with people outside of the company – based on the tidbits I note it has been said that he “lived up to his level of incompetence”. For some it was based on this one thing I noted from one of my former supervisors, he just didn’t know how to run a kitchen.

* At my new job one of the new colleagues I work with said he tried to get on at my old store. I told him what happened with me and why I’m there and while it’s far easier to say oh my tardies got me out instead my answer was about Roger. The reality was that there were some issues with him, even if I couldn’t know how bad it was other than the morale. I could definitely say with him in charge it wasn’t very good, even if his LinkedIn profile says he improved it.

This new colleague we’ll call Erick said that he came to our store one time probably while Rog was still there. He inquired as far as whether or not the team was hiring anymore people. According to Erick, he was told by a supervisor that he should hold out as they were having some issues with their boss – with Rog. So he remained at his store for the time being. I tell him he should try again now because the new boss there Larry is proving to be a better fit than Roger.

Then I began to go back and forth near the end of my first night on the new team with a young man named Kent who wanted to know how my old dept was. I told him it was dicey towards the end even though it was cool working there before Rog got there. Erick quickly figured out why my then boss was such a problem anywhere.

* Kent seems like a temperamental young man and was really fired up about Roger. He has more history with him than I did as Kent worked with Rog at another store. In fact, the store where Rog was an assistant mgr. Kent claims that on a job review, Rog had put down that he looked confused. I’ll bet it’s because he said something confusing and Kent just made it clear he had no idea what he means.

Kent even gave me another nickname for Rog, “minuteman”. I think I have some experience with this especially when I was doing receiving. Remember on two occasions I had been pulled aside for the receiving. He wrote me up for some of the later tardies. Of course now that I know is m.o. I recognize that anytime anyone isĀ  led to the office with him nothing good comes of it. Roger was looking for excuses probably found some with Kent and of course yours truly.

Anyway that’s how he got his nickname. He always comes to you and says “got a minute”. And I’m sure at some point many of them realize he’s pulling you aside for some BS. At some point many who have been subjected this realizes that nothing good comes from this minute. I was told that he never really says anything to you unless he needs to pull you aside.

Kent told me that Rog had little problem sending everyone home because he likes going home early. In fact one of the supervisors said that about him, he seemed to prefer going home early. He’ll just announce to the crew that they’re all good and they’re free to go home. So in other words, I’ll bet that you could have dirty floors and may not have finished all your tasks before he decides he’s ready to go home.

Kent’s read on Rog. He got what he wanted and it turns out he’s not cut out for this. He probably was on the verge of losing job or getting demoted because he wasn’t making any money or labor was high. I’m not familiar with labor but perhaps it’s not a good thing if you let people go, hire not very good employees, and morale is bad people may not want to come to work. Meanwhile you ask people to stay later because you created a situation where you are understaffed chronically!

* My read on Roger. I think he tried to make his mark thinking he had it all figured out. Instead the situation became far more chaotic which I noted before I got s**t-canned last year. When I asked about the new regime to one of the supervisors his only answer, “they’re working on it”. He hadn’t gone full on negative on Rog, but even he figured out something was up.

What I never minded saying in past posts was he was set up to fail, he didn’t know what he was doing, he just wasn’t the right fit for the team we had, or and this is a bit more subjective most of us just wasn’t feeling him. I found articles that gave list of horrible boss behavior and some of those lists told me as much as I needed to know about Roger. It’s between what I’ve experienced and what I suspected.

As Kent stated, Rog got what he wanted and he didn’t last having been shipped off to a supervisor job in the suburbs. Who knows if I’ll ever run into him again? Would I just be another forgettable person who he made an enemy of unnecessarily. Kent says there are only so many times you can continue to step on people. Hopefully someone at “Fresh Foods” can recognize this.

Meanwhile what if I can reach or exceed Rog’s current level in 6 mos. šŸ˜›

Not so serious secrets

img_0036It took me about a month after running into Cliff in February to text Henry about one of the senior managers at “The Show” that he was close to. Cliff told me that she moved on from the theater to a corporate position with that company. And I thought about the drama that Anthony told me about a few years ago about this senior mgr putting her hands on his daughter – whom he orchestrated a job for her up there.

I never told Cliff about this story and I suspected that this interesting change was as a result of that drama. Could my assessment be wrong yes, because evidently her bosses like her to be able to shunt her off to a corporate position away from the theater and the associates. Did they like her or was this a sort of punishment? Hard to say, though I did want to mention that to Henry I chose to hold my fire on informing him of my suspicions. He had no idea about this – he had been pretty close to this senior mgr – and he didn’t have much to add.

Later I texted him about another former senior mgr from “The Show”. I worked with him briefly when he was the facilities mgr at the “Dine-in show”. I saw him in the box office area working so I assumed that apparently he moved on to my regular movie theater near my former employer at “Fresh Foods”. I’ve always suspected that he has a easier job at this national theater chain than at “The Show” he had to do a little bit of everything there, now at the national chain he just had to worry about the facility. No customer issues, no associate issues, just issues that I’m sure he knows how to handle with his two hands!

So anyway we got to texting back and forth and then a question came up, “Am I still working for ‘Fresh’?” I never responded to that question, however, when things move forward on my return I may well answer that question. Most likely tell him the truth and talk about the mgmt change in my dept and how I didn’t survive. However, note that this particular mgr is gone now and I have been summoned to return. For right now, and while he may somewhat be suspicious that question remains unanswered.

As far as my former colleagues from “The Show” only Keith who himself got let go almost a year after I left that theater knows. Hell I even told him about what happened with my then boss to which he responded in txt with LOL. Anyone else I just pretended as if I still work at “Fresh”. That includes Cliff & Brandon, who as far as I know have no idea that I’m actually unemployed at the moment.

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* More recently I was going out one day and my mother just flat out asked about when I was going to re-apply at “Fresh”. Well I have been telling her that since I learned my then former boss was no longer there that I’ve been applying to return at various jobs with that company. It seems that goes over her head, since on occasion I feel like talking about him and how it was with him as a boss. She’s the one that says I should chalk this up to a learning experience.

Regardless I had to parse my words a bit on this given morning since well it was necessary to be clear. It was important to state that since learning my former boss was no longer there I’ve been applying. Besides the worst that could happen is my application won’t be going forward. As far as this 6 mos thing I just explain that it’s about not to merely reapply however it’s about eligibility for rehire. This month would be my 6 mos and to be honest it was my hope that I would be back by now. Didn’t work out that way, but as I stated it seems they might be making me wait for the moment.

For this moment I just chalk this up at least with her to confusion. She somehow thinks I haven’t been applying which I have been. I’ve never told her that there have been two responses to my applications so far and have had an interview as a result. Unfortunately as of now it feels as if it’s not happening yet. However, it’s more important to stay positive and hope for the best as I hope to return…

I just wanted to also note that the night after being let go last year at “Fresh” my mother was gearing up to drop me off at the train the next morning. I had to tell her I wasn’t there anymore and never explained what happened until a few days later when I knew it was time to cool off from it. Unfortunately that night she kind of kept trying to get an explanation and she’s not the type who’ll just let it go. I just wasn’t in the mood for explaining that night.

I don’t have an excuse for me holding out on her with this information. There has been some progress but it won’t necessarily be progress if I’m not back at work. Part two in the series of thoughts regarding my former boss will be the next post in a few days. It will be about how things went wrong with me as far as the job.

Reconnect

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Recently I got several calls from a number I don’t recognize – my policy is usually not answer unrecognizable phone numbers if they’re someone to answer hopefully they’ll leave a voicemail. So after the umpteenth phone call from this number I receive a txt from this number asking me to call them. The hell….

I txted them asking them who are they? It was Anthony, the last time he did non-sense like this he made it seem urgent – this was the last time he asked to borrow money – “Call me 911”. This wasn’t the first time he sent such a txt, the first time he did that I just txted call 911 not knowing what he meant. Of course this was probably him asking for same, just me give and him take.

So anyway so far I’ve just ignored his phone calls and texts so far. When we worked together at “The Show” he often expressed irritation when I won’t get back to him and will confront me at work the next day. It’s as if I owe him my time which he really doesn’t however he was angling for something during the two years we had actually worked together. I allowed myself to think of him as a good friend except he when I think about it he always had an agenda of sorts.

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Want to know the two first questions he asked me when I first met him? This was a bit unprovoked, out of the blue and shows that he wastes no time “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Now when I wouldn’t give him an answer it probably gave him an idea. I told him about my background and he’s expressing surprised with the terms “You just shocked me dude”. He was expressing his more outspoken side, but that question actually offended me, the worst part is that I was driving him home from work in my mother’s car. I could’ve put him out on the expressway….

The second question which for a brief time caused me to keep my distance from him for a short period was probably no less than two or three weeks after he started at the theater, “Can I borrow some money”. He gave me a little speech about how he was short and he needed a little something. Like I said he wasted no time.

I told a coworker Henry about it, and his response was to just ditch him. Anthony knew I drove to work that night and was following me around when it was quitting time as if he was going to get his cash and a ride home. I feel bogus for it, but I was just so offended by him asking for money when I hardly knew him & I outright left him at the theater. He did call me though I never listened to his voicemail. He never brought that incident up to me again though I’m sure he had his questions that I never answered.

He did come up to me once and asked point blank confronting me “Why won’t you speak to me?” Sometimes when I express displeasure with something I think he understands I don’t like it, but most of the time he doubles down. Sometimes he complains about my own personality quirks, yet I have to accept his. For example, he occasionally uses pornographic speech about the women he finds attractive. His willingness to talk about people behind their backs as he’ll make comments about people to me though will express irritation when I do the same thing with him.

Remember in a recent post I ran into a coworker Brandon about a mgr at “The Show” Harve. Well Anthony was someone who worked with him and claimed to have helped him get the job at the theater. Harve got promoted real quick and Anthony seemed to have been talking s**t about him, I was like I though Harve was your boy. He never responded though conversely years later when Harve became a senior mgr he was proud of him. As if the s**ttalking never happened, however, if he did it to someone like Harve as it turned out he’d do it to me. Though in my case he would do it directly to my face, not be as nasty about it. In fact it would take the tone of a disappointed father, because I would never play it the way he wanted me to.

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Kind of like what happened with “Finer Foods” last year. All the sudden he kept bringing up that I could leave “Fresh Foods” and go to “Finer” with my experience and make more money. He brought it up enough times where in irritation I just simple exclaimed over the phone “YOU MUST REALLY HAVE A HARD-ON FOR ME GOING TO ‘FINER FOODS’!”. He backed off and just said “no I’m just saying”. Then maybe a week or two later he calls me at work I text him a I’ll call you back later then he txts back “Why don’t you come over here with me at Finer Foods? You’ll make more money and you’d be closer to home.”

While I did call him later I avoided talking about it letting him know at that point how well things seemed to have been going at “Fresh”. He seemed to have agreed and he never brought up “Finer” until that 911 text and he asked to borrow some money. We were in a barber shop and he pointblank asks “Are you thinking about jumping ship yet?” I simply gave another excuse and he more or less doubled down saying get an interview, know your worth, see how much money they’re talking. It’s almost as if he never picked up on the fact that I wasn’t interested in jumping ship.

Though I sort of know what’s going on here. He was never making a suggestion, he was expressing an expectation. It wasn’t going to matter what I said about whether or not I was going to change jobs from one company to another. All that mattered to him was influencing me into going the direction he wants me to go. Perhaps this is always his M.O. even at “The Show” and masked by his own agenda. His own agenda never involved looking out for me when things began to turn the theater job into “s**tplace”. He wanted something and being friendly to me would get him that.

BTW, another reason I haven’t really talked to him was my job situation. If he knew that I wasn’t working right now, he’d go over my head to solve the problem. He’d start telling me about the opportunities that exists wherever he is. And they may not be the opportunities that are in my best interest. Then I remember during the course of the streak era his attempts to help me find a job resulted in exactly three opportunities with no offers. He’s 0 for 3…

Actually while it’s been fairly recent, that I haven’t been working my communications blackout with him has been in effect really since the summer. If it wasn’t about some drama in his life he wanted to talk about with me, he wants to talk about money. The last txt from him last summer was updating me on stuff I already knew with a promise from him to pay me back the money he borrowed. I did call him not long after that left a voicemail and he never got back to me. Every now and they he’d say something on my facebook or instagram and one of those posts I just deleted because it irritated me.

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From Nightcrawler

Finally the last time I called him was about “Deranged Barney” an encounter which I consider a trigger. That’s not someone I ever want to encounter again because my behavior would backslide into the negative as my goal is to never do that again. So anyway, instead of letting me talk this out his first instinct upon asking him “Guess who I ran into today?” His response was “D.B.?” He’s needling me about Mr. Deranged now, it’s been too much of running joke to him and not sensing how not in the mood I was for his teasing he goes into “You really need to let that go”. Instead it was like I’m a bad guy for not wanting to talk to him.

So he wants me to have a vested interest in his drama which are his children. For example the money he borrowed was for his son’s medical expenses. He gave a whole story about how he was asking for money in his family and he really needed me to give him some money. My form of cutting this off which didn’t work was I offered $20 as cold as it is to say this had nothing to do with me. In silence he just quickly shot back man you know you can give me at least $100.

The other drama he expressed to me a year earlier was he told me of an incident involving one of his daughters who he orchestrated a job at “The Show”. Apparently one of the senior mgrs decided to put their hands on his daughter and there was a bit of a drama with that. Since her daddy can involve himself in almost anything, he of course involved himself in this incident with his daughter – and with his counsel rightfully. He expressed anger for a time after this although with him knowing the senior mgr in question he talks about her like a dog but still expressed a pornographic interest in her.

So all the same, not a quandary. He’s given something to talk about on this blog and also I had a nice vacation from him. He might have been as responsible for it as I am, however, now he wants to be back in touch with me. It’s OK if a friend wants to talk to me, but problematic if it leads into, “Hey sorry I haven’t been in touch with you for a bit, however I really need something from you”…

job hunting

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the “apocalypse era” meets the “streak era“. man what a depressing era working a job i was beginning not to like anymore and looking for a job with no results for a good period of time. changed strategies, moved too slow on some opportunities, had people putting pressure on me (i.e. anthony), then crazy coworkers at the job, had interviews though no job, had anthony help me with leads get interviews no job or no interview. then it ends with a job that didn’t start off very well and lost my job only to find another one where i lasted far longer.

had some bites and no job so far – even decided to apply to my friend anthony’s favored employer “finer foods” with no bites. had interviews with the national theater chain – especially the “dine-in show” with no bites. which also lets me know i need to put myself in a better interviewing mindset. btw, i never told anthony – my imperious martial artist friend i met at “the show” – that i’m out of work and don’t want him to start campaigning for his favored outcomes which may not be in MY best interest.

my mother suggested it’s OK to try “the show” again. while i attempt to give out the idea of how uninterested i am in that possibility, i have thought about it on occasion before my current situation. in the last few years i know some things have changed, many of the managers i knew back then have left for other opportunities. the coworkers i knew by the time i left have also moved – and yes that includes people i worked well with as well as the troublemakers. i recognized that there have been many new things occuring at “the show” since my very last shift there..

all the same, the thought has crossed my mind only to be nixed by the idea that my price has gone up. some of the managers i knew from my time – especially if they’re senior managers – are still up there. while i know who i may target if i seek to “negotiate” my return, i often get the feeling that my price could be seen as too high. that price may not necessarily be only money, just that some of what happened back during my time i’m not going to let happen again. i’m not too scared to seek other opportunities if i don’t like where i’m at.

that said, i see this only as a desperation move. at what point do i find that i have no other options but to try to return to “the show”? and for me to go back there at what point would it even be worth returning? of course i have to consider is it worth it for the managers who know me to summon my return. hopefully these aren’t questions i won’t seek to have answered as of now.

on the other hand, this is the apocalypse era. my mother isn’t working anymore – she wants to go back to work but it won’t be a full-time job as she had for most of her adult life. she’s not in a position to do some of the things she had been doing for me. it becomes a case of do what i must do to earn a living for myself.

that means if you’ve been a hot shot executive (well I wasn’t actually) and you get laid off perhaps you may not find a comparable job – what do you do? do you accept a lesser position? do you accept a “mcjob”? do you try your hand at being a bank teller? do you accept a sales job? in my case and i dread this is to go back to a job where for the most part i had a largely awful experience as time went on.

btw, i did humble up and try college bookstores though no bites with that either. for the most part the semester has started at chicago-area local universities so thus perhaps i won’t hear anything yet. for the moment all i can do it continue plugging away

best case scenario i’m back at a “fresh foods” store though not necessarily where i had been working for three years. the main change will be greater attention to my attendance and hopefully get myself in a better position when i return. like i said the easiest resolution to fulfill in 2018 is to find another job. be worried if it’s about to be 2019 and i still haven’t found anything.