the girl is not the goal…

then what is it? that’s the obvious question and reddit – perhaps you can call it seddit – has the answer. i think i like the answer and even got some parts of a numbered bucket list checked out. the main thing:

When you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, women find this naturally attractive. Yes, you can still benefit from breaking down and analyzing the social dynamics between men and women, and we can still get better results through techniques and theory. But there is no technique for attraction as powerful as becoming a man who knows what he wants out of life and goes out and gets it.

a matchmaker figured this out quick and now having arrived in a new period of great change – “the apocalypse” – it’s time to make some necessary moves. moves that will benefit me and get something out of life for myself.

my focus has been on jobs and money. that’s fine then what?


what does it take to become him?


i have to become that man or him as is noted by a comment on this blog by GratuitousRex. he made an astute observation on the significance of this her. bad news is that she just won’t fall in my lap very easy.

she would be the one i was looking for although she need not be the one who takes my virginity as much as the one i want to marry. i’ve been waiting but it’s been a very long time and have never dated even as i try to talk to women over the years with few results.

so now it’s time for me to become him the man she wants to be with – although not necessarily for marriage or anything like that. slowly but surely i’m making some necessary improvements to get there including finding a new job as i had in 2014.

i write a lot about work and how frustrated i was with my long-term job at a movie theater. i was going no where and the pay was destined to remain flat at minimum wage there. it became important to find a new job that offered better pay and benefits as it was my hope that this would change some things.

with that being said another big change before the new year 2015 was fixing my teeth. i wrote about this being something of a needed change put off because it cost money and i had no insurance at one point. then i took advantage of a health insurance exchange bought some insurance and by the end of summer of 2014 i could get started doing some necessary work on my mouth.

now i could feel comfortable smiling at a beautiful woman – that’s not to say if she knew i had fake teeth she won’t say anything dumb. i can feel comfortable biting down on food i enjoy – even if i have to still be careful with the bridge that occupies space where my natural front teeth used to be. this was a change a long time in coming and at that a new job wasn’t necessary or even employer provided insurance.

with that said there are other improvements that needs to be made. one of those is a matter of wardrobe but that takes time. perhaps my confidence with women although i don’t want to attract superficial women who can’t look past my physical attributes. i definitely don’t want one who only looks at dollar $igns.

at the end of the day I must become the one that she wants and hopefully she is the one that i’m looking for. i can become the man that she wants, but i still want the woman who can accept me for who i am.