change

i used to say you can find yourself in a good situation and you can always lose it. you say that thinking it braces you from the impact of what happens, and then it happens. in this case losing your job which happened to me recently at “fresh foods”.

perhaps i believe i’m more than capable of handling any problem as you see from the body of work on this blog, it’s not always true. in this case i couldn’t handle the new situation at work, a new manager with a new team. i didn’t trust them and they didn’t keep me from losing my job.

in writing this post i could talk about the grumbling from some of my now former coworkers. i can take it with a grain of salt now or perhaps not because it cost me my job. perhaps i was starting to be a grumbler as i had been at “the show”. when things aren’t going well i can be a grumbler just complain and get in the drama though in this case it’s not little teeny-bopper drama because I don’t know any better.

today on the train i ran into one of my former colleagues at “fresh foods” and without telling him what happened with me i asked him how’s it going up there. my expectation – genuinely perhaps some positive changes – he simply said “same old bullshi*t”. the new regime hasn’t changed yet, the situation hasn’t settled down though he hopes it does for the best – to which i simply crossed my fingers and hoped for the best with him.

what i told him when he mentioned the B.S. is “this is why i’m gone!” though i wanted to emphasize that i had the best job of my life and i blew it. in doing my best to adjust to a difficult situation i still didn’t do my best to adjust to it. i was just another worker at the end of the day that mgmt had to let go. they were right i did place myself into that situation getting onto an attendance probation where i couldn’t be late for six months and it just had to be one more time – which was out of my hands.

i asked my former colleague about my replacement on receiving another colleague who wanted to learn about buying. my former colleague said he’s still doing receiving though they have him back and forth between the sales floor schedule-wise. supposedly he was supposed to have been given a raise – just as i hoped to get the position of receiver and just like me – he evidently didn’t get it. the new boss who i’ll call roger didn’t pull through and my colleague who’s a math nerd and a wrestling fan i’m sure told because he can be vocal.

so right now what about yours truly? well i intend to reapply in six months. in light of what happened and how i feel about the new regime because of how it all ended i don’t know if i want to go back to that store assuming things haven’t settled down. it would be ok with me to apply at other stores than the one i had the chance to know. thankfully i’m allowed the opportunity to return…

now i do have my feelings about roger and don’t intend to demonize him. i will say that after perhaps a month of him being the new dept. mgr. i realized that i wasn’t feeling him. perhaps he had the same feeling about me. there’s a reason i don’t trust him and perhaps there’s a reason he doesn’t trust me.

if i couldn’t be on time, it gave him the ammunition. he may well have had a scrutinizing eye which i feel he had towards me at least. i also recognize that as a new mgr he had the right to make some changes and he made them. i could get on board or get out the way and to be sure some of those changes got me in the situation i was in.

perhaps i’ll talk about them more at length. this post had to be about me tonight! there are some lessons i need to learn from this, and I WILL figure it out!

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odds & ends

lately my mother had another cook coming around the house of as late. her sister-in-law (my aunt) drops by every now and then to cook. she was already known as a cook. for the most part i stay in the other part of the house as her and my mother are in the kitchen.

with this said i learned something about my father’s side of the family. the reason i talk of my dad and his addiction issues is because the drama on that side of the family caused his issues. and my aunt – we’ll call her nadine – said she had the chance to come to grips with them when they brought their father up to chicago before i was born.

i never met my grandfather as he died before i was born – here’s some minor trivia my dad is a junior which makes his dad a senior. according to my mother, nadine said she had a talk with her dad and they hashed out some issues. alas not much was said about the convo, however, she came out feeling better whatever was said or whatever was accomplished.

my mother futher told me that my dad was having trouble with school because not only his mother left home when he was 8, she died relatively young – as my dad did years later. in fact nadine was scheduled to graduate on the day her mother passed away unexpectedly! so unfortunately the son could never really reconcile with his mother and i also heard he was about to move with her. because she died it wasn’t going to happen!

the cooking has been excellent, there’s no shortage of cornbread around these parts now. last week we had some salmon patties with potatoes. we’re not short of collard greens with turkey wings and ham hocks. another time we had a cornish hen which lasted us a few days. one time she brought a lemon meringue pie which i never touched because i for whatever reason don’t like pie.

another visitor lately has been one of my mother’s old coworkers from the bank. she also lost her job when the bank was shut down by the feds and sold to another company. she’s been coming over to help clean up the basement and the closets. for the most part i find somewhere to go when she’s here though last friday i stuck around. didn’t really help out unless asked although my mother and i could knock out some of the clean-up. besides i would like to clean up my closet in the future!

finally i have another interview. trying to get back into the movie theater business – not “the show” of course although things might have changed for the better by now who knows. either way my first interview was a bust but i hope to retool try it again and hope to be successful this time around. perhaps do the reverse of what i did the last time.

also i have a post that is locked and am still working on writing it. hopefully it will be fully available in the near future. just trying to tighten some things up with this story, which i will admit will be quite awkward. i’m thinking about doing this something after thanksgiving.

there are some other things worth sharing, however, i’ll just wait until next month to tell you this. somethings have change for me recently, unfortunately it doesn’t involve a woman at the same time these still are some important changes. unexpected though i hope to bear through them at this current time.

meanwhile wish me luck on this interview this week!

interview

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in light of some of the changes at “fresh foods” i applied & interviewed to return to the “dine-in show” that i had upped & quit. i hit a few bumps in the road which included they wanted to know why i left. my basic reason is that i made the determination that i couldn’t be fully available to the job when scheduled. it was basically because of my other job at “fresh foods”.

of course the interviewer tacked this on at the end of my interview before letting me know that he’s still interviewing and will make a decision by 5 PM on friday and this would never hear from them at that time. the interview didn’t go that well for me at that time, i wasn’t that comfortable with it. i didn’t prepare but for an entry level job these were questions that i should’ve been better able to answer.

for example, i need a better answer to the opener “tell me about yourself”. i did mention some aspects of my resume, but made sure to note considering the setting that i like movies. somehow i need to come up with more to answer this question and not seem like a deer in headlines. i also consider that as part of the opener for “fresh foods” almost three years ago the manager i interviewed with took to heart the fact that i like wrestling.

“name a time where you had to interact with someone you didn’t know”. not the first time i ran into that one and it caught me off guard. perhaps it showed and i got quite jittery with this one.

“what do you think the greatest challenge is if you take on this job?” Really? I pulled an answer out of nowhere to tell you the truth. to be honest it made no sense, but i tried to relate this to the job i applied for which was to be a busser at the “dine-in show”.

“are you excited for working for our company?” this i really tried to answer honestly. sometimes i do miss the excitement of a new release the hustle and bustle of the roving crowd. even if i may complain about those customers you can’t please it’s still very exciting. it’s a genuine answer i do miss that.

they did ask about dealing with difficult people you saw an example of that answer above. you realize difficult people have a problem that really hasn’t nothing to do with me or you or anyone. they need to direct that negative energy to someone who directly affected them. in my case i need to let it bounce off of my back – and to be honest with you guys that has been my Achilles heel.

regardless i think even after having one interview in 2016 and two in 2015 (one each for the theater and at “fresh foods” before getting hired at both) i’m out of practice. perhaps i need to get myself into that interview mindset again. if i don’t then on some giveme questions i’ll be caught flatfooted.

btw, since this was the theater i quit immediately from and made sure they knew that i had been an associate there. made sure to note that – when they wanted to know why i left – i made a determination that i wasn’t going to be available for them thanks to the fact that i had another job at the time. hopefully that was enough to satisfy an explanation, especially if i choose to pursue opportunities at other theaters with that company.

as of yet, i still haven’t heard from them. hopefully if i had a better interview then it’s possible how i left the “dine-in show” wouldn’t matter. alas there’s only one way to find out, get another interview and then be determined to perform better. perhaps that interview will be more to my liking. the day of my interview seemed quite hectic a lot of people waiting in the lounge area.

another possibility is that one of the managers at the “dine-in show” now works for the theater i frequent. it’s one place that i’ve been applying for years and once had the chance to become a manager there. now i have an possible in and she recognizes me, thus perhaps i could just broach the subject and see where it goes as far as a job. she’s basically the assistant general manager there last i heard so this may be my way in. and hopefully she might be the one who could overlook any issues i may have as far as how i left the “dine-in”.

we shall see how i approach it, if i feel bold…

October 2014

i think there have been a few other iterations of this post already. one was likely dated similarly to this one and others represent the period after the last two interviews of the “streak era” and my last two weeks at “the show”. so hopefully I’ll do something different here and if not well soon this storyline will be concluded in the next series of posts. perhaps no later than the middle of this month.

anyway, the situation at the show was beginning to somewhat turn. i gotten written up the previous month for taking too long on my break. i just about got into it with a b*tch of a senior manager who decided to bicker with me. she cut it off quick although she was determined to write me up.

i only refer to her that way because in a light moment in an office counting me down and taking to her colleague she came out with her saying “she can be a b*tch”. more often than not especially if some associate wasn’t meeting her expectation that tense side came out and a few times she directed it towards me. although through some intelligence that behavior came out because she found herself frustrated with her role at “the show” also.

anyway the young people were a bit more defiant especially if i try to tell them something. and at worse i may work with one young person who claims they forgot where their register was. and them expecting me to say something gets all upset when i call them out as lazy and wants to start a fight right there! though in reality the tension began the moment i blew them off – a teenage girl of course – when they decided it’s ok to speak to me. anyway no recovery with me there, that potential relationship is shot and good riddance.

i got two interviews this month and it was with a branch of “gotham bank” that hired me and a theater manager position that didn’t hire me. i feel as if i blew the theater manager gig for the national chain. not to say i was unserious but i did get to think about my frustrations and their knowledge of “the show’s” general manager. he wasn’t someone i really worked with often and i couldn’t describe him as a mentor. though as a manager he tried to be as above it all as possible even if some of his senior managers and supervisors just weren’t.

the gotham bank interview actually took place at a different branch from where i would be assigned. good interview where the branch manager got in on the interview and i wish i had worked with them in the long run. while considering the results this was the job that ultimately got me away from the show.

i turned in my notice to one of the senior managers who was the human resource point. i had already been discussing my job search with him anyway. after putting in my notice he gets a thank you card for giving me some “moral” support. other select mgmt i told as appropriate.

ironically two of the more problematic senior managers – the house manager & the b*tch – were incredibly curious about me leaving. more than i had expected them to be and i was semi-suspicious of them. if it was just cordiality for them, deep inside with me i just wanted to tell them to go to hell! although if anyone just wanted me gone it would’ve been them and i mostly worked the last few days of my notice.

btw, this month i fixed my teeth. funny part is that i got a new job with bad teeth and before starting my teller job i arrived at work with new teeth. also i cancelled that initial dental appointment for that procedure to do this interview. i really wanted to leave “the show”.

incidentally having arrived at the new job didn’t start off very well. i kept having issues with my timeliness and that didn’t look good. as time went on it was one thing to get nit-picked over another. it got to the point where i dreaded going to work and while things were bad at “the show”, i never felt the dread as i began to feel about the bank before i was eventually let go.

meanwhile it was registering more and more with some of the mgmt at the show that my time there was coming to an end. thankfully not because someone wanted me gone, but i said i was leaving. i know there were many who wanted yours truly gone and if not mgmt, but other associates. all they did essentially was allow me to find something better.

also my mother bought a new car and for the last time i drove her old vehicle – which remained at a dealer where she left it – to work and back into our garage. i shared a pic of it to my ig page it was the vehicle that ferried me to work when she allowed me to drive there. this was something i was going to miss for sure. the night time drives back home and on occasion meandering about on the way home.

regardless the “streak era” had ended. a new era away from the theater was about to begin. my mother got a new car. i also got new teeth – a flipper – which some of the coworkers noticed the difference especially when i open my big mouth. šŸ˜›

as i said my final good byes to some of the coworkers – and even noted this for some of my former colleagues – there was some apprehension as to my new role. it was less than ideal but again the offer i got was what got me away from “the show”. my situation with my coworkers and my pay wasn’t likely to change so this was the impetus for me to leave and finally. no more questions about whether or not i was “too comfortable” or whether or not i was trying to leave. i put in my notice and said BYE to “the show”.

all the same some people were coming out of the woodworks to wish me luck and shake my hand. others it probably didn’t matter too much to them they may know or perhaps for some odd reason glad i was out the door. regardless i worked my final night at the theater shook hands, got my final soft-drink in a courtesy cup, gathered my belongings, and after almost five years off to new adventures!

september 2014

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little did i know at the start of this month that the “streak era” was about to end. it all started two years before with the interview at a smaller theater chain who had some background issues and cost me a potential mgmt position. lately i started getting interest from banks especially “gotham bank”. i had an interview to start off this month which unfortunately resulted in no job offer.

meanwhile the previous month i had started working on my smile. i started off with some deep cleanings although now the plan was for me to eventually pull out the loose and failing teeth. yeah in my early 30s i will eventually receive false teeth in the form of a flipper and eventually a dental bridge. it was past time as i just put it off until it was really time and kept getting embarrassed over it. one way to look at this, as i continue to interview for jobs i can at least finally look my best in addition to a visit to the barber and dressing professionally.

anthony had started campaigning again for me to work with him at his “finer foods” store on the northwest side. i had somewhat brusquely ignored his suggestion that i speak with the hr person at his store. it was as a result of an attempt to interview with a store manager who on the day i went up there early one morning instead was meeting with his district manager. anthony yelled at me on the phone for not following up and i avoided him for a while until i found something i wanted to talk about only for anthony to simply pivot without response to my subject about what happened with “finer foods”.

this time i didn’t turn it down, simply just wrote this down though with little plans to follow-up with this. as the summer began to wind down i was getting interest from jobs although for some i opted not to respond to all of them. going up to my “friendly” martial artist store on the northwest side actually remained near the bottom of my list considering what happened earlier that year.

as far as “the show” nothing of great note happened. i got called out by mgmt for taking too long on my breaks, which i blame on my general unhappiness with my job at the theater. the senior manager who wanted me written up for it was up my *ss for some odd reason anyway, but became strangely cordial after i finally handed my two week notice. i gave her an excuse and as often seems to happen she wants to get tense.

there were other minor incidents with coworkers, however, nothing much really happened. as much as i hate to tease you all, but these involved individuals who remain non-descript with not a whole lot to distinguish them. and i also attempt to bear in mind their general youth.

however by the end of this particular month – little did i realize – my time at “the show” was drawing to a close. also i finally got started on improving myself by working on my long suffering smile. and set me up eventually for another job i will get by the start of the next year. no one could’ve told me that the job offer i accepted wouldn’t work out for me.

bottom line the streak era after so many interviews with no job was finally ending in october!!!

this time five years ago…

going back roughly five years ago and noted here last year i had an mgmt interview at a neighborhood movie house. as indicated it never occurred to me that i’d never get it. when you think about it the owner i spoke to back then was a bit all over the place.

i was super confident thanks to anthony who was also in the process. he got further than i did and still walked away without a job because the owner had some issues that cost her a portion of her business. since he has a head for drama he found out through his intelligence that the owner wasn’t running tight ship and drove her subordinates crazy.

i said at one point that i really needed this one as this would’ve been one immediate escape from the show as my position seemed to be deteriorating there. this was true due to a variety of somewhat self-created calamities. regardless for this reason and others this was the greatest disappointment i ever experienced. this was one i believed was in the bag until she just came up with the excuse of candidates with significant management experience. it was quite awhile and certainly even after other things came out in the press that i got over it.

i was hyped up by my experience at a downtown movie theater even though i never moved up to as much as a supervisor. i had some experience at least operationally but i was untested. of course i missed out on other things that probably would make me an even better candidate. somehow i got an interview – perhaps with the intervention of the talkative anthony – and no job offer. as it turns out the first of many over two years that resulted in no job offer.

anthony of course wound up not getting the job for himself. while he went forward for the position of general manager…and that’s another thing the posting to her company’s social media never specified the level of managers they needed. the posting only asked for experienced managers. for all i knew she was looking for middle managers in addition to general managers if you will.

anyway he was getting frustrated with a lack of responsiveness thanks to his need to follow up. thanks to the news he quickly found out why she wasn’t in a rush to get back into touch with him. unfortunately what need is there to hire new managers when the business you had was effectively cut in half?

even worse when i sent in my resume to that company she seemed to have pushed the deadline to interview further back. that is she certainly kept me and others waiting until she was ready to interview. still she kept anthony waiting to give him an up or down vote.

well of course with all this in mind i was still there at “the show” for two years, but this was an experience i learned from. never believe the hype and never be surprised when you don’t get the job. always come prepared for an interview – hadn’t brought any resumes with me expecting she’s have my information right in front of her. much later another takeaway was that i certainly showed my inexperience as far as becoming a manager never having that experience.

another takeaway for certain. perhapsĀ  i wasn’t ready for this job and with that in mind if possible never look to another job to escape the one you already have. when you think about after almost two years of looking while at “the show” every interview was a potential escape and ultimately i escaped to a job that proved not to be a very good fit.

incidentally i’ve had other opportunities to interview at least for a theater manager at a national chain – whom i eventually worked for on the lower rungs of the ladder – and of course i interviewed to be a supervisor at a “Fresh foods” store. and at this point i’m largely still growing to the point where it’s possible that i can grow into such a role at the right time and hopefully with the right people.

perhaps this wasn’t a bad experience afterall. also later in wrapping up the storyline involving the show, i would like to explore why yours truly was never promoted at “the show”.

odds & ends

so it starts from roughly now until at the very earliest late september to hopefully early october at the latest “the show” storyline here at feeling no love will draw to a close. there’s not much new in talking about old incidents although until my self-imposed deadline i hope you’ll indulge me.

the individuals i could talk about are largely those whom all merge together with very little to distinguish them. i could write about managers but why and all i’m going to talk about is the complaining and my response to it. largely my response will simply put you to sleep because it’s not like i got into a major slobber knocker. regardless what i would write about or perhaps had written about is so small in the grand scheme of things why even bother?

just as easily as i could tell you the negative the only reason i’ll ever talk about the place where i used to work for almost five years is because something new happened. which is the case you will see below.

* i ran into one of my former supervisors – harve – during the course of the past month – exclusive of running into the house manager after during one recent visit to “the show”. harve got promoted to senior manager recently now he has a lot more pull if you will. i hadn’t always done right by him, but on this visit there i made sure to congratulate him.

i was somewhat there to be nosy, however, for this visit i had a purpose. the theater is located in a shopping complex and i was looking to make a purchase for an office chair at a furniture store. at this point i got to the shopping center shortly before as i turned out harve was about to open the doors for the day. and to think he opened the doors later than usual as from what i remember doors are normally open at roughly 11:30 for the first show at noon during the week.

i congratulated him told him where i worked and told him of my expected promotion without much explanation, wondered how often i was there knowing that i had been a film buff. to be fair perhaps he saw me on occasion outside of “the show” peering in and honestly i like the idea even three years later of being on the outside looking in.

the fact was when harve asked me about coming up to the theater i made sure to note that he knows my history and i’ve largely kept my distance so far. that’s regardless of the fact that on occasion since leaving i’ve made several visits though often rare as they were. regardless my feelings of that place has waxed and waned since leaving and i also realize man of the people whom i had issues are mostly gone having moved on to other opportunities.

i shook harve’s hand after leaving “the show” just after it opened for the day and headed back to the furniture store to go shopping. i made sure to tell him that he got me on social media and we should stay in touch. though now that he’s a big wig of sorts he probably is too busy now!

* before leaving “the show” in 2014 i got an email from another “fresh foods” store in response to an application. i’d have been working front end and although a part-time position – akin to the hours i’d already get at “the show” – it would’ve paid me $10/hr. that was much better than being on $8.25/hr especially if there were no concern for benefits. only thing is i’d have to travel further away from home and of course no set hours which means i’d have to really set a clear path as far as availability.

if i’d have gotten an offer for this job – which could’ve happened at least a month before handing in my two-week notice for gotham bank – it would’ve been possible for me to remain at “the show” and work both jobs. of course the changes that i noticed with some of the more cooler people leaving “the show” – firing or quitting – made it far more easier to call it quits with the theater.

either way little did i know that after chasing jobs – especially banks – that provided some benefits a company like the one that owned “fresh foods” would provide me benefits but only after completing a short probationary period. this would be one selling point to consider looking for employment elsewhere as much as more money would be!

unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be at that time. the front end manager at that store sent an e-mail and it took me a day or two longer to reply. and i got passed over for an interview. i was disappointed, but it was what it was and this was the one time i moved on! as it turns out i’ll have more opportunities with them later.

funny thing about this is i had been trying to get on with “fresh foods” for a while. and it almost seemed as i got more attention from “finer foods” – anthony’s favorite employer apparently – than from “fresh foods”. however at the right time i got the right job eventually.

* finally to sum up. i’ve began to believe long before writing this post that the more sh*t i talked about the place i used to refer to as “sh*tplace” i only serve to curb my own happiness if you will. i can’t appreciate the good that i have now, if i continued to dwell on the bad experiences i’ve had there. at this point it’s more important to remember the positives and certainly what i want to create for myself today.

since leaving “the show” i couldn’t have gone on two vacations within the past couple of years. “fresh foods” and “gotham bank” were the first jobs i had that offered paid time off. at the theater i’d have to request days off and i wouldn’t get paid for them. not cool but those were the parameters. this is just one example.

now i could count on harve as a professional contact. continue building bridges with the people from “the show” whom i got along with best. and of course continue to progress with my work life having been stagnant for so long at “the show”. may i continue to win!