Reconnect

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In Hustler I said that my dear old martial artist friend Anthony – who seems to like to beg for money in spite of his big talk – hadn’t contacted me since February. Then he later texts me about a local movie palace that has long been shuttered. He knows I have the interest although in the case of that building there’s not much I’d want to do with it since I’m not a rich man.

It’s him trying to get the money train flowing again. I’ve concluded a while ago that he’s really a hustler. There when you need him but sometimes I wonder about his conclusions. His angles go into left-field to me and I’ve begun to realize that more and more.

In that last post about him I realize I was overthinking when talking about him. I made it about a grand scheme and I feel there is something to it. Then again I always suspected that he would try to get in touch with me again. In this case a txt that I could merely ignore which he notes.

Just think a few months ago when he txt’d me I shot back a “I’m sorry who is this?” and he responds and I never did even if he called again later. He has a history of not getting hints and if I point blank told him it still wouldn’t be the end of it. Radio silence doesn’t always work, he can be persistent case in point when he was trying to get me to call back his “Finer Foods” store a few years ago.

Either way he may call me again or txt me again. When he does I will be in no rush to answer. Here’s another funny thing about that I didn’t realize he sent me a txt until a few weeks after he sent it. I missed it because I wasn’t entirely looking for it! 😛

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Hustler

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I’ve had to realize that an old friend Anthony – my martial artist friend who worked with me at “The Show” – is a hustler. I remember that he used to refer to those individuals who work 10 jobs as hustlers, he seemed to look down on that. Although to be fair at one point since I’ve known him he seemed to be working two jobs. Having done that myself during the course of this blog, it’s not entirely easy!

All the same, remember how he started off our work relationship. All I had to do is take him home in my mother’s car and he started asking questions and he probably was evaluating me. Next thing I know he asks the second question I thought was out of line which is “Can I borrow some money?” He hardly wasted any time doing so and even worse even if it caused me to back off since we just me it only served to cause him to change his strategy. I just wish that I had been smart enough to see that well he wasn’t going to stray too far from his programming.

I had to realize that he always had an agenda. When he caught himself looking out for my interests at work or even when I was trying to look for another job it was often about him. One time when I told him about an interview I got for a competing theater chain he suggested something counter-intuitive to me which was to negotiate and if I don’t get what I want be prepared to walk – and I was like “Huh?”. I don’t know what I wanted yet other than a job offer which needless to say I never got so when he asked about hours and such all I could tell him was that we just never got that. As far as that this should be the answer, if we never went there no job offer is coming at all!

This let’s me know – though years after the fact – that this was really about him. If I was more in interview mode than negotiation mode for a mere minimum wage job even if there was a possibilities for further opportunities at that company then it was doomed to fail. I’d have flopped anyway in spite of my best hopes and intentions and somehow he’d find a way to blame me for it depressing me further.

Not to stay negative on him but if it hadn’t been for him I wouldn’t have tried for that mgmt position at a neighborhood movie house. While I never imagined the disarray that took place there after that interview it was still a worthwhile experience. Sadly I was destined not to get the job whether or not I did well with that interview. While Anthony felt bad that it fell through that this was something he helped orchestrate largely because he knew I wanted this. I never told him the reason but if there was a reason this was my escape away from the place I knew as “S**tplace”.

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His tips that I took advantage of were for jobs that he was working. The opportunities at the local theater, “Finer Foods” (which didn’t work out for a variety of reasons outside of our control possibly), and finally a home goods store near downtown Chicago. Then this leads me to a conclusion for some reason he wants me close to him – and is probably why he wanted so bad last year for me to consider working at “Finer Foods”. All the sudden and with my experience at “Fresh Foods” he tried to sell me on it with a simple “You’d make more money” and with my experience trying to get on with them I’d start coming up with excuses which he seemed to ignore.

Another more potent conclusion with this: he wants me beholden to him. Ahhhhhh, for what he does for me I have to owe him something. Helping me to find a better opportunity – even when I’m not looking for one (especially when for a good stretch I was doing so well at “Fresh”). I could include his attempt to get me to buy tickets for myself and a ex-coworker from the theater which is one could conclude that well he treated that nice young lady like an object to be passed around. Regardless no matter how much he can claim I blew it, he was a lousy matchmaker as we never connected in the first place. Again as much as his need to direct me to his own jobs leads this wasn’t as much about me as it was him!

Also I had to realize that he may just be used to being a dominant person. Bad news is that he’s a dominant person that’s needy. The need is about money it could be he’s generally lonely. I feel he had an inability to connect with people beyond his need to just have to find a way to dominate the scene. So his need to provide unneeded advice isn’t always just directed towards me. He often does this to everyone though he should know who’ll listen to him and who won’t. In my case I’ve given him a reason to think I’ll listen to him even though he may also know that I won’t follow up.

All the same this is why I know he tends to overreact to things. Trying to check me before I make a mistake even though perhaps I wasn’t even thinking about that. Let’s say he asked me to send him something (probably a draft e-mail or whatnot he’s not that good with typing evidently) and then he might come back to me later when I type out one errant phrase. His dominant side also is a clue that he viewed our relationship far differently than how I might’ve viewed it. Perhaps he sees himself as a fatherly figure I could look at him as a brother but he just wants to be more over me than anything. This is not a friendship which is how I prefer to view our relationship. Well most of my relationships outside of family or romance.

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DB? lol

Which also reminds me when we did talk last year and we go onto the subject of “The Show” he often seemed to discuss the negative. He may not understand that I don’t enjoy talking about it, but he does like to remind me about one time that I went off on “Deranged Barney” he seems to like for me to go over it again and again – another irritating thing he likes to do. When I called him after running into DB his response was to throw it back to me telling me I need to let it go and then just say what’s up man how’s it going. Essentially blowing off that I have no need to speak to that man again.

Beyond that he literally does run me down on the phone. From his words he told me that he felt so sorry for me, claiming that I had no one no friends, no male influence, he tried to take me under his wing as a mentor. Bear in mind when we first started working together he already came out to start begging for money. And based upon the knowledge that he had such a pitiful view of yours truly and likes to come on strong he just wasn’t the mentor or male influence that I needed.

And since he seems to like to mention that I’m a virgin – something I won’t discuss with him especially since he started off this way when we first met – and his need to dispense dating advice or even worse keeps recommending women I work with at the theater he seems to have some disgusting habits with regards to women. Granted – and surprisingly – he’s had some success with women that is he’s getting his d**k wet according to him and of course being a man in his 50s has several children. If only the grannies he claims to have f**ked realize that he’s showing their images – no nudes mind you just pics of women he’s connected with – letting me know how much action he’s getting.

Worse image he gave me was that one granny he claimed to have had relations with asked him to pull out. She used her hands to insure a “money shot” across the face. For some reason he wants me to know how nasty these women want it. With that said, why does he pursue grannies, because they won’t likely get pregnant. Though at the theater he did claim that he had relations with some of our younger coworkers who were largely in their 20s. Those silly young things like the wild @S$h0l3s as I now believe Anthony is.

Finally, I basically hadn’t heard from Anthony essentially since February when he called me from a different number. I noted that in another post he sent me a txt asking me to call him to which I never did. I just asked him who he was and he responded, simply decided that he probably wanted something. Thankfully he hadn’t really pressed that he wanted me to call him back since that time. Believe me if he really wanted something he’d put on a full court press and then when I did he’ll just comment hes been trying to get my attention and he just doesn’t understand.

I suppose for now he probably doesn’t need anything pressing – especially money. Perhaps he’s finally sensed that I’ve been frustrated with him. I also consider the fact that he’s borrowed money from me again & again and showed no urgency in paying me back. I realize our whole relationship was him looking to take advantage and keeping me in a position where he can continue to do so. Perhaps as he said he was glad that I found the job at “Fresh” and was happy that I left “The Show” that he just shows the side where he’s truly not happy for me. Perhaps that merely means that he’s losing control of yours truly.

Regardless I still feel as if he may try to get back in touch with me. When I tell friends or my mother about him they say a variety of things. They may say good riddance because I’ve not talked to him since last year. They may say he’s a sociopath and I should avoid contact at all costs. Part of me wants to tell him off which could prove to be dangerous as I view him as a troll akin to my so-called arch nemesis DB. So I’m not sure what the next move is right now, I do somewhat expect that he may try to contact me again!

 

July

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Happy 4th!

Well I’m sure as the month goes on I’ll have more to report as far as the modern day.

I plan to share another story from my senior year of high school. It’s somewhat embarrassing and is a lesson when it comes to an overbearing parent. And I could relate it to the fact that during my junior year of high school my dad finally succumbed to the complications of his alcoholism.

Also I want to give another update on an old friend Anthony. It has been a few months since he tried to get in touch with me. He wished me a happy birthday on my FB page and then made an errant comment which I deleted upon seeing a hotly anticipated film release. It irritated me because he wanted to open up a can of worms that when you think about it really bother him more than it does me. That’s his thing however he feels as if he has to punch through barriers that shouldn’t concern him! So far I haven’t heard much from him again after his odd attempts to get into contact.

Even though I got a reboot with “Fresh Foods” I’m going to get a little trip in this summer. The last time I had been to my parent’s southern hometown was not long after graduating from “Mission College”. Though I’m sorry you won’t see many of them I anticipate taking lots of iPhone videos and photographs. When I have children I can show them their roots and if I’m lucky perhaps I can own some land down there.

Since I was let go from “Fresh” I don’t have as much vacation time accrued. So it’ll be like requesting off from “The Show” I get those days off, but I won’t get paid. It sucks but that’s the situation I’m in, just concerned that I won’t have that paid time off banked to be able to really use it!

All the same as we’re already in roughly the half-way point of summertime some interesting things are going on currently and more to come! How about some Will Smith aka The Fresh Prince.

 

Prom, weddings, and graduations

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I went to prom by myself years ago. Had a dance with a classmate’s date who pulled me onto the floor. I wish I had shown her more interest almost two years after that prom. I was more fidgety at that time and less cleaned up and had less going for myself than I had when we first met. Her date had some issues from what I can tell online still does and not to talk about him, but he was considered special ed so something was going on.

Anyway it was an unusual period and my classmates – well I was never very popular with them – were somewhat impressed with how I cleaned up. I wore a tux with a green vest not very flashy, but not very plain either. A friend of mine Cecil had a date arranged by one of our teachers, he skipped out on her before the night was out. His date probably ticked him off and he angers easily something I learned the hard way during the course of my senior year of high school.

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Took a pic with another classmate although I paid for a solo pic by myself. I had her in class a few times, but at least the photo op was more interesting with a girl in it. She also cleaned up nice – well we all clean up nice for our senior year prom. The girl in question was something of a loud mouth who had something smart to say to our teachers though she seemed to have had a nervous breakdown at one point in a class we had together.

Of course not a whole lot of note happened on that particular night. When it was time I called my mother to pick me up went home and with my brother we went to our family’s southern hometown. Cousin Natalie was getting married on that particular weekend – Memorial Day weekend. So I handed my tux to my uncle’s wife so she can bring it to the rental place and we took off for the south. Yeah no rest in my own bed on this particular evening.

I feel as if weddings bring out the weirdness in women. If I recall Natalie and my mother were relatively close and so I’m sure she didn’t want to miss this wedding. I had bought a new neck tie for my own graduation and wanting to preserve the packaging it came with my mother deciding she needed to help me get ready tore it open. That irked me, but she decided she needed to help me.

Some lipstick got onto my toiletries case and we both scrambled to clean it up. It seemed what triggered her was me saying you don’t have to do this and she says “No, I do have to do this. Look I’ll do it, I’ll take care of it”. Hmmm why can’t I clean my own toiletry case? At this point we were in a hotel getting ready for this wedding and at that point I had just gotten out of the shower. And I think my mother was trying to hustle me along so that we can get to this wedding, I’m not sure why she was stressing other than this was Natalie who at this point had also just got her nursing degree from a nearby college.

We went to the wedding and my mother was disappointed because in her haste to keep me moving I still forget to bring the camera to the wedding. She wanted pics from this and no such luck from yours truly. One of my uncles probably had photos and video and we saw some footage of Nat & Nate’s wedding years later at one of our family reunions. Oh yeah I forgot to mention we went from our family’s hometown to Nate’s hometown. Then eventually back to the family’s homestead where my grandmother lived at that time.

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And again nothing of great note happened especially with this brief jaunt to our southern hometown. However next month she did pay a visit to Chicago celebrating here sister Tasha’s graduation from high school. And I just so happened to have tagged along for a trip to an “Old Country Buffet” restaurant. Then later that summer a trip to DC for my aunt Claudine who was about to retire from the military. Then make a quick decision about what next because I made very few plans for life after high school.

Because my mother bragged about the flukish good grades I made in high school the expectations of my family was to go to college. And being 18 years old and nothing better coming along I just went with it. Sometimes I feel that was a mistake, but it is what it is. Sometimes I wonder, what if I just chose to take another route into the real world. Was a college classroom the best way to enter adulthood? I was going to find out the hard way.

Just visiting

img_3872Last month, I paid a visit to “The Hole”. I just slid right in after watching a movie nearby and hoping to see some of my former colleagues. To be honest I just avoided that store roughly until Rog was no longer there.

Most of what I wrote about “Ruthless” was based upon conjecture and some other facts noted by colleagues. This is stuff that I have gone over in other posts that it’s just not very important to rehash here. However last month when I ran into some of my colleagues we did go over it again and noted how my former boss just ruined it for everyone in my former dept at “The Hole”.

I spent a lot of time in the neighboring dept where a coworker Chuck was holding court. I think he saw me before I saw him although I told him that I now work at another “Fresh Foods” store. We did talk a lot about Rog and we were talking s**t about him. He saw some things first hand from him that proved questionable. Problem is well no one knows that he’s made some questionable decisions. Regardless he was the first one to recognize that Rog’s ego was a bit oversized and he’s going to find himself in over his head. That is exactly what happened.

All the same it was cool to see him again and talk to him again. We talked about the assistant store mgr I had to interview with to return there. Thanks to him I didn’t get it, he was hard to get through to. Chuck just said he might have been a bit racist – who knows. All the same I don’t look at it as a bad thing now because I’ve returned to the company anyway. An opportunity will be there for me to return to “The Hole” in the future, perhaps in a better position. When I originally interviewed to return in March, perhaps I didn’t show this store mgr much of anything to work with.  This paved the way for me to be picked up elsewhere.

So anyway I part with Chuck and head to my former dept where some of the people who were there from last year sighted me first before requesting one of them get the supervisor who I had been in touch with since Rog departed the scene. I expressed interest in returning to help them out and of course this was before I made full-time again. It is still something I’m keenly very interested in at some point this summer.

The folks of my former dept never mentioned Rog. My own shot to my former supervisor was “I don’t expect you to say too much, but I’m glad I missed the drama”. He told me some people are out of action joking that some associates kept getting hit by cars. On the other hand he mentioned the dept is coming back as far as sales. Besides they should be gearing up for the summer where the sales will be very strong. Who knows if that’s a parting shot to the now departed “Ruthless” and with Larry in charge.

Before making my way to “The Hole” I ran into yet another colleague – Bill (who I ran into on the train last year) – who was on his way home for the day. So I changed course and walked him to the train – this was before watching a movie that afternoon. And again we talked s**t about Rog we both agreed that man had no idea what he was doing and also confirmed that with Larry in charge the dept has operated far more smoothly. In his words no more bulls**t.

Though this incident happened after Rog departed we talked about what happened with another colleague who got let go. There was about to be a catfight in the dept and that took care of both participants’ jobs. At first it became a serious verbal confrontation and one of the ladies decided to charge at the other. What I observed based upon the story that was relayed to me was one of those ladies seemed to have an attitude that morning. In other words she was a “mean girl” who just so happen to run into the “Mean girl of ‘The Hole'”. And at least the “Mean girl of ‘The Hole'” was my mean girl as we had worked well together. The “mean girl” was basically a new hire who may have arrived after I left and could be a Rog hire which says it all.

With this said I told Bill when he told me his version of what happened “That is some ‘S**tplace’ type stuff“. What I just heard could’ve happened at the theater and depending upon the mood of mgmt we wouldn’t be certain if anyone would’ve gotten fired. At “The Hole” and before Larry returned there was some disarray thankfully store mgmt wasted little time in getting rid of both of them. Especially the one who seemed intent on committing assault by charging at the other colleague.

We talked about Rog’s supervisor hires both of who are no longer there. One of them who I had met listening to Bill proved to be a bad fit and it’s no wonder that after almost six months she got shipped to another store demoted to associate. If there was a tense situation she’d add to it and in Bill’s words not handle the situation like a supervisor. Considering her boss, I think I could see that if he proved to be useless as a mentor.

The other supervisor that I hadn’t worked with he said came for a store meeting and was never seen or heard from again. I laughed hard at that, but then later I realized she might have been the smartest one in that situation. Who knows if that happened before or after Rog departed, but I just wonder if she realized this just wasn’t going to work. Also bear in mind she was an external hire who knows if Rog had a hand in bringing her in or the panel who should’ve interviewed her just over-ruled him.

All the same an interesting afternoon I had back in May before Memorial Day. This all happened because I didn’t exactly desire to go home just yet. Just wanted to hang around in downtown Chicago and made an impromptu visit to my old store. It should be noted while it somewhat satisfied me that Rog didn’t last in that position as I had began to expect, it’s never pleasing when someone suffers such a decline professionally as he may have. While he may have earned it, I do want to believe that anyone can successfully recover if they learn from what happened

Regardless I remember my first major return to “The Hole” and my old dept! And believe it or not, felt the love! So to speak of course!

MGTOW Virgins

 

Earlier this year I wrote about MGTOW so now I’m somewhat getting back to this. Another brave man shows his face admitting that he’s MGTOW Messiah and a 38 year old virgin. He wants to break down some of the stereotypes. He said this was a choice and it’s not a matter of not being able to get some p***y.

To speak for myself as a man who is in the same boat as him, even though I hit a bump in the road last year I finally got myself in the position where I could do some things. Perhaps take a vacation or take up a hobby or perhaps even start off a side hustle and make even more money. When it came to women I had been in the doldrums because I wasn’t make enough money and had very little going for myself.

Even had someone like Anthony who just took a serious issue with the fact that I work with a number of women whom I could be trying to talk to. It seems to him I’m just not interested and sadly he won’t accept that for a great many of them that I really wasn’t interested. In some instances I literally blew it by some of my actions though in others some of their actions made it very easy for me to stay away from them.

All the same I like “Messiah’s” style just do you own thing and go your own way. In my case as stated already I long for that special person to come around. Just hope I’m open enough to “shoot my shot” as it were. Though as is the case for the formerly unfortunate male virgin I may need to find a strategy away from online dating. It hasn’t worked for yours truly either!

In the weeds

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Another attempt at a “final thought” regarding our old friend (or perhaps enemy) “Ruthless Roger“. I tried it last month and had a meandering post about him as my boss with an introduction to some of his assistant mgrs or as I could call them lieutenants. One can only wonder if they also bristled under him if they viewed him as a d**k who wanted everything his way. It was said he was looking to make his mark and since he got demoted and shipped off to another store as a supervisor, likely safe to say he fell far short of it. In fact it’s safe to say he was in the weeds.

Whenever this subject comes up about Rog, the question continues to come up, “how did he get the job?” My best answer is often he got it the same way I could’ve gotten it, he applied, he interviewed, and they hired him. Of course it’s more nuanced than that, he had experience as he originally came from “Fresh Foods'” flagship location. When I recently told one of my colleagues that he was a supervisor and an assistant mgr at that store they wondered aloud that he came from such a large and profitable location and he couldn’t handle the dept he took over. When you think about it, after learning about his demotion that was my thoughts exactly.

Ideally if you want to move up in the company especially into supervisory/mgmt positions at “Fresh” you should be going through a very vigorous process. It will involve a firing line of questions from a panel, something I’ve only experienced once. One of my colleagues theorized that someone didn’t ask the necessary questions they just used Rog’s history & experience with the company as a reason to just hand him the position. My theory is also that he knew how to play the game and was able to interview well. Of course in light of how he explained why he was hiring another associate buyer now I have to call it into question somewhat. Perhaps it’s a matter of how interested he was in answering a question.

Also bear in mind last year that before Rog arrived it could’ve easily been Rayna who could’ve been the new boss. And let’s just say most of us in that dept wouldn’t have been very happy with her if it had come through. Store mgmt probably agree however they wanted her to stick around as one of the dept’s assistant mgrs. We did have a vacancy after all in that area with everything in dept mgmt leaving at that point.

Remember a couple of months ago I noted that one of my new colleagues Nick had noted that he wanted to transfer to my old dept and a supervisor (which he couldn’t/wouldn’t identify) told him to hold off because they were experiencing issues with Rog. No elaboration from Nick it was said as a matter of fact to him that is in other words “young buck save yourself the trouble you’re just getting yourself into a tenuous situation here“. Of course once Roger finally left the dept according to one of the supervisors I talked after hearing the news that things there have gotten better. The man who tried to make his mark made more of a mess of things there!

I’m going to say here what I’ve already said on this blog before though in a slightly different way. I always noted that Rog was very by the book which isn’t a bad thing, however the reality was he just had no idea how to really manage. You don’t need a book to be a manager, you have to be able to manage without using a book. Make some decisive decisions and sometimes do so without guidance. Granted it could be a double edged sword and however you arrive at your decisions you either got it or you don’t. Rog evidently didn’t have it.

Also you’ve heard variations of the idea that he wasn’t a good fit for that position, rose to his level of incompetence and/or in over his head in the job. Perhaps Rog had no idea about the position he accepted even if he had the necessary experience. My words for this had often been that he was set up to fail. Who knows perhaps the people who gave him the position did it to him or Rog did that to himself. One way to look at it, to be able to move up and manage a dept has to be something you want and I believe Roger did want it. Even if it turns out he had some deficiencies…

Finally, I visited my old store (which from this point forward will be referred to as “The Hole”) and dept last month. I spoke to a number of colleagues who gave me their own takes on what happened in my old dept with Rog. Also spoke to one of my former supervisors expressing some interest in possibly going to that store to help them out. This is something worth talking about at a later time.

Meanwhile, it’s time to lay off good ole “Ruthless” for now…