younger women at “fresh foods”

mary aka crazy vibes unfortunately i learned was let go from “fresh foods” a few months ago. she had that odd crazy giggle and was pleasing to the eyes physically, but i had decided that she had some issues upstairs. while i personally was attracted to her, her mental state kept me distant.

in some respects she was very nice probably very cool. though because i made no effort to approach here – and there had been many opportunities – there was some distance. i probably never gave her a reason to really bridge the distance in my case i was unsure if i should’ve.

in that neighboring department there was a new young woman – of about 21 – who had been there since the summer. her body type resembles the young lady you see below though she left a lot more to the imagination than what you see here.
29.02.16 - 1

i will call this woman mary jr. she seems a lot more playful – and probably in a less crazy way than mary. she’s thicker, younger, and has caught my eye and certainly the eye of other young men. like mary, junior seems to have a certain distance from me.

often mary jr might send a quick comment my way about my whistling for example – she doesn’t like it apparently. otherwise not much is said by me and typically she doesn’t seem to notice me. i rarely have much to say to her and it might be because there is an age difference and it’s certainly attributable to her playful and youthful demeanor.

as of now however she’s one of the most interesting women i’ve seen at work. my dilemma is how to proceed and i’ve never been very good at that.

part of me wants to resort to the whole anonymous not slipped in her locker and she may want to know who’s interested. i feel as if that won’t go over very well.

i like to think i look younger than my almost 40 designation, however, doing the note thing is really beneath me. would the best move for me who’s never been on a bonifide date with a grown woman – well over 21 mainly – is to be bold? and considering that i’m checking out women at the work place regardless of their age this is something i want to be careful with.

milestone – leaving “the show”

600-theaters

guess what i found today among the junk i need to throw away in my bedroom? at “the show” i wore a number of hats one of them was as an usher who sat theater guests. so i had a seating schedule from the very last night that i worke there.

dear white people – ouija – the equalizer – john wick – st. vincent – gone girl. they were all movies that were showing that night and from this night i was leaving the theater business for the time being. it was a somewhat interesting night that proved to be a milestone and i was pessimistic this day would come. it finally did!

a few of the managers wished me a good luck even if in some cases they had to be prodded. some of the “foes” didn’t say much, probably didn’t know i was leaving if not outright indifferent. many of the managers couldn’t believe – even if some had relatively rough relations with me – i was leaving them.

trust me it was past time. i emphasize that at “the show” i was never paid more than minimum wage – which was then $8.25/hr – and no benefits. while i got less hours from – you know let’s give them a name – “gotham bank” my pay went up to $11.50/hr and eligible for benefits in 90 days. the great period of frustration was about to end and it was time to start a new chapter.

to set up this period of time during the course of that particular week i was doing some training in downtown chicago at an office for “gotham bank“. it made it somewhat easier to come down and work my last few days at “the show”. they were all shifts that started at 8:30 AM to about 5:00 PM. as it turned out this was the easiest part of the new job.

i told one of the supervisors to find me on fb using an e-mail address. i shook hands with a colleague, a security guard who i got to know, and one of the senior managers. another supervisor came out with best wishes unexpectedly, she likely didn’t know i was leaving someone probably told her that night. i got a courtesy cup of water got my things and out of the door i went. i was hearing a tune from the butler as i walking from the theater for the last time as an associate.

i feel as if this is something to frame. this was my last night there and after that i wasn’t coming back to work. i was already talking about skipping my last schedule day there because during the time i had been scheduled i was still doing the training at the “gotham bank” office. a bit of a conflict though now that this was about the end of my two-week period it didn’t matter.

one era ends a new one starts and that means off to new adventures starting with the bank.

 

unexpected

last week we had an unexpected visitor, my aunt who is a former military officer visited our house. no call no indication just showed up at our doorstep to surprise my ailing mother. she had a new husband in tow with her.

i was less than thrilled. all i know was when i heard some other voices upstairs it was at WTF. when my mother had a moment she let me know who was in and told me that she doesn’t like these unannounced visits. another aunt has that unfortunate tendency, she just likes to show up whether one likes it or not. although at least to be fair she was also up in chicago this weekend and at least we knew she was in town and to expect her to come over.

as it turns out her new husband is a brother to my aunt laura’s husband. and he’s also talkative with me expressing little interest in interacting he did try to reach out to me.

laura’s husband is a talkative man with a southern drawl. i can say the same for – let’s give her a name – claudine’s new beau. he doesn’t have a southern drawl although he does have a girth like laura’s husband. for some reason laura’s husband has rubbed me the wrong way in a similar way that laura has and it could be said i rub laura the wrong way with some of my behavior.

anyway it was an interesting couple of days. claudine has little problem approaching me and trying to converse with me even if my answers have been very curt towards her. even better most of the time she was there i kept to my zones away from the socializing. she didn’t appear to object although in the past she might make some things clear. for example once i was in my room and she made special emphasis that everyone else was in the living room. in other words i need to be in the living room….

of course her military behavior had rubbed my mother the wrong way – they are close. the newly wed couple had it in their mind to bring my mother to georgia with them when they left saturday morning, my mother wouldn’t agree to it. my mother moved too slow for them so claudine kept dropping hints to get ready and it doesn;t help that my mother still has lingering issues involving that compound fracture.

but those interesting last two days were over rather quickly on saturday morning. they hit the road while i was off to work that morning.

btw, as another aside this is what my aunt tends to do. she assess the situation she’s what i’m doing for example watching tv, “what are you watching?”. i was about to say some cop show, she quickly says “CHiPs”. yup that’s what it is. she’s always been that way i quick a quick half-answer and then she quickly fills in the blanks.

perhaps an example that she’s into making small talk. depending upon the person i don’t share that interest.

april 2013

Amc-theatre

while i could turn this into an april fool’s post i’m playing this one straight.

in april 2013 i was ready to leave “the show” unfortunately the three early opportunities to have come up for me didn’t pan out. during this particular month i took a test for the local transit authority to become a station agent. it paid much better than the show at least $12/hr part time with benefits. sadly i didn’t get that job, i passed the test but couldn’t connect with them when they called me later.

also the previous month i had gotten a phone call from another theater of this national cinema chain. in february of that year i had interviewed from a theater right off the magnificient mile which did not result in a job offer. this was another fail and was further frustrated by some intervening events.

when they called me it was on a saturday night and at work. i had the next day off and didn’t call and waited until thursday to call them back. the person i needed to speak to wasn’t in, however, i was told in spite of the length of time it took for me to call them back to try back in the afternoon.

my friend anthony wanted me to meet with someone that afternoon though failed to tell me when. basically we spent most of our time downtown hanging out unbeknownst to me. i never told him that i needed to call these people from that national chain. we wound up going to his martial arts school for a meeting that never happened.

so on a friday night i worked early and intended to come home to make that call. except on my way back to the house my mother called me up from work insisting that i needed to go with her to get some bottled water from a neighboring suburb – because chicago has a tax on plastic bottles per bottle even in a pack. when all was said and done i was in no mood.

then on saturday exactly one week after the phone call i hoped to get to work early enough to make the call. my friend anthony wanted me to go back to his martial arts school to meet his business partner and it was a while before i returned home. then quickly got ready for work and drove my mother’s car to “the show”. so the dent in that plan was traffic coming into downtown chicago on cermak. by the time i had arrive to work there was little time for me to make that call.

after that i just said forget it. see this is what happens when i choose to procrastinate when i should just go for it. from this point forward began a long drought starting in march through roughly september where i had no interviews – hell no nibbles.

funny thing was that i had a nice stretch where i really had no serious issues with anyone at “the show”. yeah the female cliques of the time probably came up with something regarding me. for example a young lady wanted to drop some popcorn in a bin but because we already were having issues i wouldn’t move out the way and she just started talking shit about me for a good period of time with some of her like-minded coworkers. that’s the only one i can really think of.

recently i started to realize something. my friend anthony continues to hit me with it’s not the place it’s the people. he believes it even if i stick with it’s hard to separate the people from the place. unfortunately i’ve started to learn how “the place” brings out the worst in people. perhaps it’s as simple as how the people – management – chooses to run the place.

if there are conflicts between people over very small issues no matter what, and people are willing to start fights over it threaten people even get others to gang up on people there is a serious issue there. granted so many were so young but they really need a crash course on how to get along with people at work. it should take some time to get rid of people but with people willing to snipe their coworkers or just become problem employees they need a crash course of they need to go.

and just thing this month two years later, i found myself with a better job and hopefully better people at a better place. and on top that became a full-time employee with good benefits and paid time off. in time got my first raise ever!

however at that point in time, it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

growth

i almost had the opportunity to interview as a “fresh foods” supervisor at my home location and home team. sadly i couldn’t get past the screen gave a relatively vague exampe which i told my manager recently cleaned up some details. the decision was already made and the example was the only one that came to mind quickly enough.

of course i was disappointed, however, i chalked it up as another loss as far as moving up. i won’t count this one only three times have i even gotten a change to interview for a management/supervisor position whether it’s movie theaters or at “fresh foods”. “the show” never would look at me in that way and rarely gave me the opportunity that i will write about here.

my manager approached me about a possible promotion which certainly comes with a pay bump. it will mean that i will likely have to come to work at 5 AM everyday (which certainly would mean less sleep or i have to go to bed earlier). it’s basically a buyer/recieving position and it’s one more step towards management. my presentation for supervisor was weak, but this would look good on paper. especially if i show the aptitude my manager expects with my attention to detail.

heh, funny my attention to detail got me in trouble at the bank. in the intervening time between leaving the show and arriving at “fresh foods” i showed none of it at least to the bank.

while i have a shift to see what i can do in this role next week, i have to wait until one of the department’s buyer/reciever will finally give his two weeks and move on to a new job. so for the moment there is no job for me yet and i remain in my simple clerk role.

as i’ve stated before one reason i left “the show” in 2014 was to find a job where i could grow. i was stagnant there and now where i am i have the opportunities. what it takes is for me to grasp them.

to not act

i found these series of blogs by chance. i have a number of jackie’s in my background, women whom the opportunity was there and did little. a handful are women where there were some effort, however, it often blew up in my face.

i thought you’d be interested in these experiences. the author in question there’s uncertainty if he was a virgin. however it’s likely if the stories all began while in college and by the time you get to the final part he likely has plenty of experience with women.

so go read those three year old posts by panama jackson over at VSB

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

living on my own terms

have i ever lived according to them. it’s been said that most of my life i’ve been trying to have it my way. unfortunately i’ve ran into nothing but people who have decided they know best so they try to tell me what i must do.

when my mother was going for follow-up appointments and had been at the point where she needed me to shuttle her to the hospital i tell her that her need to rush me and tell me to make this light or that light didn’t help. especially if i’m the driver and i may have other things on my mind as much as it’s very important to get her to the clinic for her appointments.

sometimes i’ve been consumed though not enough by the idea that i want to have sex before i turn 40 or better yet married by the time i turn 40. if it happened that i’m happy alas i seem to have a great difficulty getting myself into such a situation where i can make that happen.

unfortunately, i’m a long way from being anything resembling a pick-up artist. i see beautiful women all the time not just online but in person and hell yes they’re my customers. i could pick up a conversation with the one who could be the one. indeed i may also work with such a fabled person.

at the same time i never really lived my life. and i don’t have that long to do it. i never had a group of young friends who were just dating. thus never many opportunities to just hang out and socialize. as likely hinted i’m very much a loaner and have arrived at that the hard way.

all the same, it’s past time. i need to do some things for me and if it means i have to live alone for a time then that is what i must do. if it enables me to get into activities where i have to be social then it’s worth it. i can go on and on, but i already predicted this could be a year of great change.

and in the past two years i’ve experience great changes leaving my long-time job at the show and having my income go up. going to a job that can provide great growth – which i would also include evaluating how i approach interviewing not just the jobs i can take on. bottom line it i’m already one quarter through 2017 so if i want to make those necessary changes now is certainly the time to get started.

i’m convinced that the woman of my dreams whoever she may be is waiting for me. i either shoot my shot or i have to be the guy she desires. hopefully unlike many other time where she comes around and makes herself know i might not be caught off guard.

in the meanwhile, it’s literally time to attempt to live live on my terms. and not find myself fitting anyone’s definition of how i should live my life.