Amber Rose to Her Virgin Pal: ‘Sometimes You Just Want to Get Slaughtered’

amber-rose-bikini-pics

However, Dr. Chris doesn’t think that ‘virgin’ is an accurate description for the guy.

Source: Amber Rose to Her Virgin Pal: ‘Sometimes You Just Want to Get Slaughtered’

I haven’t heard this podcast, but I just have to say if i had Amber Rose as a friend my imagination would run wild. I respect that this guy wants to wait until marriage to experience sex, but if only I had some of that oral experience Ms. Rose’s friend has. I missed out big time.

chronicles

….of a 20ish virgin.

i think this will be a series of posts in no particular order. i may talk about women i’ve attempted to speak to or even the ones who tried to speak to me. especially when i was between 20 and 29. of course as happens on this blog i may get lost on other things such as work history or parental relationships for example.

COMMUNITY_COLLEGE

my early twenties had been spent at a community college since i graduated from high school. to be honest i had no plan for life after graduation other than my family’s expectation that i should go to college.

i enrolled at one of chicago’s community colleges and basically was average. somehow  i still had been accepted to a relatively prestigious liberal-arts college in georgia with a similar all-girls school across the street. my acceptance to that school would come the next spring.

anyway there wasn’t much action on the women front. there were a precious few women i could have asked out. especially the ones i went to class with but i was unwilling to shoot my shot. precious few still gave me any attention even if i deep down wanted it.

one semester i got a phone number – a hand written note – from a young woman i’ll refer to as carrie. carrie made a presentation in our social science class about living in public housing and some of the experiences she had. one notable part of this story was that she witnessed oral sex out in the open between people at her development.

another part of the story is that she had been touched by some of the violence that occurs in public housing. for example a high profile murder occurred and she knew the mother who lost her son to the violence. i thought it sounded as if the gang was targeting the mother but instead hit her son.

well it took me a few months to shoot my shot with carrie. and i finally did at the college library. that was at the end of the semester and i had my eye on her and she knew it. for the most part i was just uncomfortable with taking my shot but i took it.

oh yes to describe carrie. she had the nicest pair of eyes and a nice smile. i learned that she had a bit of a playful side that she on occasion displayed with me and with others. i liked what i thought of as her warmth.

one problem, i blew it. we didn’t see each other often after that semester although she was there and saw her on occasion. it was the end of that next semester when i finally called her. and we did talk a little bit then sloppily suggested that we go out sometime anytime she wanted to. that spelled the end for me getting some of that perceived warmth.

near the end i saw carrie again in the computer lab we spoke and she came up with excuses such as she had papers to do – ie the semester was almost over why are you still doing papers. i called her number one more time to talk but whoever answered the phone said she call me back. i never heard from this young woman again. and it took me a year to throw her number away as i wanted another chance and thought better of it.

it’s easy to build up an image in my mind. perhaps i wanted to be that knight in shining armor. my background was much different than carrie’s as i never grew up in public housing so i may not understand it. perhaps she may not understand my background either. either way i got let down somewhat easily and this was a lesson learned. perhaps i need a better approach and i shouldn’t allow something to build in my mind.

hopefully wherever carrie is today she is very happy with where she is today.

Valentine

keep_calm_and_be_my_valentine_by_nekoreport-d5toqvg

it’s been a few years since i’ve officially worked retail. in fact you see the trends at a movie theater which is people come out on certain holidays. they certainly come out on valentine’s day with their significant others.

i’m back in that game this time around and before even returning to retail i noticed that a month or so before a significant holiday (i.e. Valentine’s Day, Easter, Halloween, etc.) they already begin stocking for that holiday. So right now if you go to your local supermarket you may see a display for Valentine’s day that will last through the next month. Then not long after that you’ll see a display for Easter.

Now it brings to mind that when was the last time anyone paid me any mind for Valentine’s Day. In grammar school the kids would hand out Valentine’s Day cards and candy would do it for everyone. It’s something I took for granted until it simply stopped and the kids gradually outgrew this tradition.

at this point i’ve been “flirting” with ways to make this holiday of sorts work for me. this year i might pick a girl or pick several and ask her to be my valentine. not sure what to expect out of this and not sure what my role should be but i’m excited to explore.

one thing i have toyed with in the past is asking one of the many women i’ve met online to fill the void of being my valentine although i never went through with it. this would be something i can do and hopefully we both can have some fun with it. of course i should drop the expectation that something would come of it.

all the same i think it would be fun and as much for me and for her. perhaps this is how i can finally connect with her.

btw, i’ve thought about asking some of the women at work including becky or mary perhaps others that i’ve never talked to other than for professional purposes. thing is it strikes me as very dangerous so it’s important to avoid that for now.

Love shy

shy-smileyafter starting this blog, i joined a web forum at http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/. the one reason i found this site because i began looking for answers without having to pay a therapist. not that i think anything is inherently wrong with me, but sometimes it pays to have to talk through whatever issues i may have. the issue now is well i want to lose my virginity before i turn 40 which is not that far away anymore.

that’s as much of an issue as me wanting to marry and have children. and somehow i’d have to get through the barrier of finding a suitable mate who is able to accept me for who i am. as much as i believe i have things going for me, it’s difficult still to find a woman who is interested in me. of course the bad thing is women are picky and have no problem picking apart what they don’t like about certain men.

i consider the story of candace that i wrote about a few months ago. i noted that i’m not entirely certain what my deal was other than her approach. i considered her aggressive as far as attempting to keep my attention, but i was for whatever reason cold or unresponsive for the most part. at some point in spite of her ways of letting me know what i was doing was mean she eventually left me alone.

was this a case of being love shy? a case where i was fearful of giving a girl a chance who clearly wanted one. of course, this could also be a case of i made a good call – if it could be called that – because if i got her or her me who knows what direction our potential affair would go. indeed i’d have been left in the cold anyway.

either way the thing is if the right girl got me to settle down and evaluate why i haven’t been able to go all the way with a woman i have always had a script in mind. if a woman wondered why it hadn’t happened for me and ideally all over me discussing this i could flat out say i just don’t know how. that would be true because basically i have no experience in even attracting the attention of a woman.

most of the time it just happened, but often it’s also a matter of keeping her attention. in my case these things just happen with no effort on my part to get her attention. consider candace, although something about me got her attention whatever it was.

either way the answer may not be important only to help me get to the point where i’m very comfortable with a woman so that we could have a relationship. in addition if that happens even before i finally am able to answer the why of my dilemma perhaps the question won’t matter.