i’ve started to realize sometimes i have little idea how to turn something in my direction. especially when speaking with women online on these dating sites.

if i move too fast the convo will go nowhere and i don’t get a date at all. if i don’t make any moves then i still get nothing especially if she won’t make a move. of course aggressive women are a different story altogether.

elise and i have been texting for a while and suggested we do lunch. well at this point we still haven’t gotten together. still working on her but we’re still having a casual convo with our smartphones.

jennifer – the plus sized girl getting her PhD – well i’m very tempted to ask if she dates at all. one problem she doesn’t live anywhere near chicago. i’m also very tempte d to offer to get her up closer to me for a day or so. a graduate student should have time to unwind in another part of the country. 😛

i have to figure out how to get comfortable enough with these women to move somthng forward into my direction. that direction could be anything to a relationship or sex. i  haven’t had many role models and at that many guys my age are doing their thing on dating scene and also as married men with children.

i got to break through because i’m looking for that girl to squeeze and hopefully i can know fatherhood at least before i turn 40.


at various points during my “adulthood” i’ve only fantasized about my happily ever after. finding her, settling down, getting hitched although not entirely concept of the road to getting there. this had been something i wanted but had put nothing towards getting there.

now, perhaps it’s a lot more difficult for me to get there. i had done what i thought was right by waiting, however, i never dated. now i’m one of many eligible men who may well be looking for a mate but in a bad environment.

then there’s this:

And that brings me to another point: Who in the HELL said that all men MUST be married by a certain age, or at all. I think it’s a sign of common sense for a man to say that he’s not going to commit his life to a woman until he’s ready and sure. Also, I think it’s a sign of emotional intelligence for a man to say that he doesn’t know IF he wants to be married and he just wants to go with the flow and see what materializes. And I really respect dudes that are self-aware enough to realize that they don’t want to be married at all, because making your significant other’s life hell just to appease social norms is ignorant and stupid.
to be sure i’ve had issues with the whole dating issue. i’ve had people who decided to cheap shot me saying they needed to get me laid. a lot of people have had the need to needle me on this issue.
yes i realize this article is about marriage not sex. a lot of men out there are about the nookie not necessarily keeping a mate. i suppose this is never what i wanted and there are quite a few people i met who never seem to understand that. or perhaps they’d respect me if i’ve actually dated. if i’ve dated i’d get nookie.
at the same time, i realize that there are those young men who only think about nookie. think that’s the only goal, even think that every man should seek it. in fact i seems getting nookie is a right of passage for any man. does it have to be?
no more than getting married and having children before you’re truly ready. at the same time you’re wanting to have adult relationships with members of the opposite sex.

to meet someone organically

we’re in that period when people have to give up something for a month. it could be smoking, drinking, anything. then i read this story about how a man met his wife.

what happened was that according to him he was fasting from dating. then she appeared and there were many connections such as being from the same state with the same mentality in addition to both being christian. it seems they were destined to being together.

the man wasn’t looking for her and then she arrives on the scene they became good friends. then she was about to join the peace corp only for it to work out. he doesn’t know that yet but he was like wait i really like you and want you to stay around. it was meant to be for them to actually be together.

it’s a good story i wanted to share. perfect for valentine’s day and hopefully inspiration for those of you who are seeking as i am. and also recognize, sometimes it just happens out of nowhere things like this. if you seek out love it seemingly hard.