Case against MGTOW

Sharing a lot of videos lately am I?

This YouTube channel BlueCollarLogic takes on MGTOW. The man – Dave – you see above has his reasons for going his own way and mirrors what I’ve observed from such men. The woman in his life screwed him over and as a result he lives in a mobile home to save some money. While he’s still friends with his ex-wife he describes their split as a divorce he didn’t want!

So his take on MGTOW or feminism is that both seem to want to deny human nature. Men and women are wired differently. We can debate why it’s unfair that women must be pursued. And women could always wish that men become more feminine. The reality is men and women are different and anyone that tries to deny that are kidding themselves.

There was an article in the news that an HR person thinks that sports talk in an office could lead to discrimination. My first thoughts on that is that this HR person just couldn’t relate to men at all. It’s OK you don’t follow sports yet how is it so serious as say men engaging in “locker room” talk with the women they work with. I can see how that is disrespectful and perhaps I wouldn’t want to be subjected to that by women at all.

I’ve worked with women who were loose about their thoughts on men. They gushed over men they liked and absolutely didn’t bite their tongues with men they didn’t like – especially yours truly. And they especially didn’t handle it well when a man they did like just didn’t respond to them in keeping with their “value”. I definitely got one story about that.

Either way, a I’ve often said about MGTOW I don’t have as much of a case as you see Dave above. I’d say his story is far more common in that community i.e. his wife fcuked him over. He will also state that for men going their own way, they got a lot more going for them than they realize. They’re making themselves more attractive by being not so easily available. Also they’re going to the gym and working on increasing their income. Just other self improvement that we as people should always strive for!

It’s not important to shun any relationships with women. There are bad women out there and I’ve met some of them. The thing is speaking of me I hardly play anyway, perhaps the self-improvement is about being a better player. That’s what I’m striving to be when it comes to women. I desire a wife and family and  while I could become hardcore MGTOW, however, that’s really not likely to change with me.

And one final note, my standards aren’t that high. I could go for the 10s as far as attractiveness and go for at least the middle of the road as far as women. I’d say be careful about the types of women you do pursue. Whether they are very attractive or average or below average a lot of them have their own issues. I could go for the looks, just don’t look at the score see how these women are mentally. Once you see where they are as far as character then you can decide whether or not you can go forward with them.

My 2₵!

The sadness of living without sex

couple under garden arch surrounded with flowers

Found this BBC article from last year where some adult virgins as old as 61 to as young as 26. One guy just turn 40 in that article and finally found himself a girlfriend.

I hate to view living without sex as a sad condition. Just shows how we all desire to be wanted, but for some reason or another it just hasn’t happened. If it’s not sex it’s just love which is what I seek not just sex.

This article was yet inspired by an 60ish man who was a widower and had sex for the first time later in his life. What I can say for him is he at least experienced love & sex. Though I’m sorry to know that he’s a widower…

Oh and stay tuned, I got a post about love coming up hopefully next month. The month of Valentine’s day unless of course someone wants it out sooner! 😛

Straying

You know I should have more to say about this. A site where people can pursue infidelities. Even took a survey at this place and got accepted.

Problem is as a single male virgin is this an option to pursue. I’d feel quite dirty and I’d want a lasting connection (which ought to be the subject of a post in the future). Hard to have one with someone who is already attached and it would be hard for me to even consider dating a woman who already has a family. It seems like the type of drama I’d rather avoid.

Anyway other than the internal dialogue I have express with you, the article in fact talks about why more women these days are straying. Having known men who chase p*$sy and never seem to seek a lasting relationship with women I think I’d have a hard time respecting anyone who is willing to cheat on their “partners”.

cheap sex?

cheap sex? are men not marrying because sex is easier these days with contraception? are men also not marrying and having relationships with women because of easy access to pornography? the link above is in reference to a book looking the evolution of today’s relationships between men and women.

the first part i may somewhat understand, but is a shame. i believe in abstinence believe it or not. that’s the best way to not get pregnant or contract an STD. find someone you really like and trust as if you were going to marry them and go for it. that or wait until marriage. yeah i know old school and naive right?

i also want to add another dimension to this. my friend anthony likes to cheat shot me on his “knowledge” that i don’t go out with women. he likes to lecture me on being part of the world not living in it. even tells me that i blew it with some girl he tried to set me up with – no thanks.

once upon a time i looked down upon it, however, i have little problem with those men who want to chase p*ssy. if they enjoy hooking up and being with women then at least they’re doing something that makes them happy. even if my own bias suggests that they need to just pick one and be with her.

at the same time anyone worried about me not going out and chasing women need to stop and be concerned with their own lives. there are more pressing issues than trying to hook me up with women they think i’d be a good match with. and even worse even suggest an expensive entertainment event to bring someone with.

regardless, perhaps i’m not the recipient of the cheap sex that has helped men avoid getting married and perhaps caused women to settle. then again that’s ok when the opportunity arises for me sex and/or marriage will happen. in the meanwhile what a shame that we’re even discussing cheap sex.

wedding season

Going backwards in time just a tad from before going away to “Mission College”. Very recently my brother shared some pics of his family. This month he’s celebrating his 17th wedding anniversary. That year he married he finished his baccalaureate degree and also gained admission to a law school in Texas. After getting married him and wifey would move there.

You know what this means he’s getting married and I have to join his wedding party. It was expected I suppose, but never something I wanted to do. Perhaps it was the introversion as I knew eyes would be on me. Well not entirely but my family both sides definitely had their expectations.

Funny part was that I had danced with someone at the wedding (don’t remember who) and cousin Natalie who came up for the festivities just decided to force herself to giggle at every unfunny thing I said. Wasn’t in the mood for her no matter what. Even funnier still no one laughed at a random remark – “maybe you will find you a girlfriend” Natalie remarked -she made upon learning I was going to a bar to meet with an uncle. That uncle for some reason was absent from my brother’s wedding, and I wasn’t going by myself as my mother and two other uncles were coming. Yours truly was still underage at the time.

Now to set up what happened way before the wedding my brother and I had been at odds. My time in community college was a bit of a struggle, I wasn’t working and my brother chose to ding me on both at the time. He saw something wrong with that picture. Perhaps there was – and yes he was coming on too strong – at the same time well I was a bit aimless at the time. My brother never gave me something to work with at the time, no one did other than their expectations.

My mother during this period randomly suggested “Don’t you want to join the national guard?” Not sure where this came from and besides I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, got this college thing stuck in my head. Though ironically enough I did speak to the navy that summer, but never made a move at all. Funny thing is we did discuss this during my high school years and she was somewhat involved with my meetings with recruiters from the armed services, however, her expectation that I’d be very successful in college was wrong as it turned out at the time.

Soon the wedding was over and the “pretentious” new couple were moving to another state. No more ceremony, pomp & circumstance, family, or even snooty bridesmaids. Time to get back to reality.

Which reminds me, during the course of that year after my brother and I had a serious falling out that was totally unnecessary I called an uncle months earlier who lived in Virginia. We talked for a couple of hours and suggested at random that I come out there – perhaps a week, perhaps a summer. Then i told my mother and it became a whole drama that in small ways I attempted to quell.

Didn’t happen that way! My mother brought it up at random to her sister in-law at which point I told her to “keep your mouth shut”. Then we went up to visit a great-aunt in Wisconsin and it came up again. This time I said nothing but really had no intention on talking about it. But it was something very exciting to my mother and again she had the expectation that I would go out east to visit with him.

My mother even told people at work and as I handed her my resume – with no work experience – to look at & she just quickly changed subjects saying “You won’t do what I ask you to do” quickly pivoting to making reservations to head out east. She mentioned someone at work asked her about the trip and my mother well had no answer as I was still at home and the summer was almost over.

My thinking on why I didn’t just go out east to visit my uncle. It may have a little to do with the fact that my mother starting talking about it. At the time I also thought about money while I had my savings account with a few bucks in it she still would’ve paid for the ticket to go out there. However, what else would I have to contribute very little. But it would be my first trip without my mother since my dad passed away. I suppose the random mentions of this when I had least expected dampened my interest…

One final “coup de grace” was Claudine – my retired military officer aunt -who started to take an interest in this. Early that summer – before my brother’s nuptials – my mother and I met Claudine and her daughter in our southern hometown. At the time Claudine lived in maryland and she was already talking about sites we could visit there.

And my thought was I was going out there to visit my uncle not you. What are you doing getting involved with me going out there to visit my uncle and you trying to convince me to come out. Claudine even went so far as to note when she got me on the phone “you better come out here, the summer is almost over”.She wanted me to come out there and made the same level of effort as my mother.

Meanwhile my uncle was silent we never further talked about me coming out there at least since the phone call. He didn’t encourage me any further one way or the other he put the idea out there and the women in the family after knowing about it started working on me. Essentially it didn’t work as I wanted to discourage this behavior.

By the way, I never figured out how Claudine found out about it. Perhaps her and her brother talked about it or perhaps my mother brought it up to her at random. She decided to put on her own pressure. Other than that the summer of that wedding, was largely uneventful.

direction

Happy_woman_ih9lnw

i’ve started to realize sometimes i have little idea how to turn something in my direction. especially when speaking with women online on these dating sites.

if i move too fast the convo will go nowhere and i don’t get a date at all. if i don’t make any moves then i still get nothing especially if she won’t make a move. of course aggressive women are a different story altogether.

elise and i have been texting for a while and suggested we do lunch. well at this point we still haven’t gotten together. still working on her but we’re still having a casual convo with our smartphones.

jennifer – the plus sized girl getting her PhD – well i’m very tempted to ask if she dates at all. one problem she doesn’t live anywhere near chicago. i’m also very tempte d to offer to get her up closer to me for a day or so. a graduate student should have time to unwind in another part of the country. 😛

i have to figure out how to get comfortable enough with these women to move somthng forward into my direction. that direction could be anything to a relationship or sex. i  haven’t had many role models and at that many guys my age are doing their thing on dating scene and also as married men with children.

i got to break through because i’m looking for that girl to squeeze and hopefully i can know fatherhood at least before i turn 40.

stats

at various points during my “adulthood” i’ve only fantasized about my happily ever after. finding her, settling down, getting hitched although not entirely concept of the road to getting there. this had been something i wanted but had put nothing towards getting there.

now, perhaps it’s a lot more difficult for me to get there. i had done what i thought was right by waiting, however, i never dated. now i’m one of many eligible men who may well be looking for a mate but in a bad environment.

then there’s this:

And that brings me to another point: Who in the HELL said that all men MUST be married by a certain age, or at all. I think it’s a sign of common sense for a man to say that he’s not going to commit his life to a woman until he’s ready and sure. Also, I think it’s a sign of emotional intelligence for a man to say that he doesn’t know IF he wants to be married and he just wants to go with the flow and see what materializes. And I really respect dudes that are self-aware enough to realize that they don’t want to be married at all, because making your significant other’s life hell just to appease social norms is ignorant and stupid.
to be sure i’ve had issues with the whole dating issue. i’ve had people who decided to cheap shot me saying they needed to get me laid. a lot of people have had the need to needle me on this issue.
yes i realize this article is about marriage not sex. a lot of men out there are about the nookie not necessarily keeping a mate. i suppose this is never what i wanted and there are quite a few people i met who never seem to understand that. or perhaps they’d respect me if i’ve actually dated. if i’ve dated i’d get nookie.
at the same time, i realize that there are those young men who only think about nookie. think that’s the only goal, even think that every man should seek it. in fact i seems getting nookie is a right of passage for any man. does it have to be?
no more than getting married and having children before you’re truly ready. at the same time you’re wanting to have adult relationships with members of the opposite sex.

to meet someone organically

we’re in that period when people have to give up something for a month. it could be smoking, drinking, anything. then i read this story about how a man met his wife.

what happened was that according to him he was fasting from dating. then she appeared and there were many connections such as being from the same state with the same mentality in addition to both being christian. it seems they were destined to being together.

the man wasn’t looking for her and then she arrives on the scene they became good friends. then she was about to join the peace corp only for it to work out. he doesn’t know that yet but he was like wait i really like you and want you to stay around. it was meant to be for them to actually be together.

it’s a good story i wanted to share. perfect for valentine’s day and hopefully inspiration for those of you who are seeking as i am. and also recognize, sometimes it just happens out of nowhere things like this. if you seek out love it seemingly hard.