my dad’s birthday has just recently passed. it’s been 20 years since his untimely and unexpected passing. his addiction to alcohol for the many years i knew him took its toll on him.
as often stated on this blog, no one is sure what triggered his addiction. my suspicion is the fact that his parents split when he was young. this was something he never entirely got over even into his adulthood.
one thing to bear in mind with this is that my mother realized she wanted a car, thankfully she could afford one. my dad didn’t want her to have a car and had an attitude about it. perhaps he just didn’t believe my mother should be independent of him.
it occurs to me that perhaps he feared that my mother would get away from him if she had a car. that was unlikely but if you were insecure in the first place, your mind runs wild. if someone was going to leave you keeping them from having a car is the least of your worries. if a person is determined to leave they’ll find a way regardless.
as for me my dad had the idea that my brother wanted to bequeath one of his cars to me. for most of the time my brother lived with us his choice car was a honda. i remember his late 80s to early 90s honda civic colored burgundy. i may not have cared for his choice of a honda, but looking back it was an attractive car and if it was to be i’d have one. someone my dad didn’t like it and queried me on it.
all i could tell him wsa that i knew nothing about it and that was an answer he didn’t like. “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME!” he says, but the truth was i knew nothing about it and my dad didn’t believe it. my brother never said anything to me about it. perhaps my dad didn’t want me to be independent of him either!
i recognize that my dad had some severe issues which he proved unwilling to truly overcome. it’s a shame, because dealing with his addiction and ultimately the underlining causes could’ve saved his life.
guess what i found today among the junk i need to throw away in my bedroom? at “the show” i wore a number of hats one of them was as an usher who sat theater guests. so i had a seating schedule from the very last night that i worke there.
dear white people – ouija – the equalizer – john wick – st. vincent – gone girl. they were all movies that were showing that night and from this night i was leaving the theater business for the time being. it was a somewhat interesting night that proved to be a milestone and i was pessimistic this day would come. it finally did!
a few of the managers wished me a good luck even if in some cases they had to be prodded. some of the “foes” didn’t say much, probably didn’t know i was leaving if not outright indifferent. many of the managers couldn’t believe – even if some had relatively rough relations with me – i was leaving them.
trust me it was past time. i emphasize that at “the show” i was never paid more than minimum wage – which was then $8.25/hr – and no benefits. while i got less hours from – you know let’s give them a name – “gotham bank” my pay went up to $11.50/hr and eligible for benefits in 90 days. the great period of frustration was about to end and it was time to start a new chapter.
to set up this period of time during the course of that particular week i was doing some training in downtown chicago at an office for “gotham bank“. it made it somewhat easier to come down and work my last few days at “the show”. they were all shifts that started at 8:30 AM to about 5:00 PM. as it turned out this was the easiest part of the new job.
i told one of the supervisors to find me on fb using an e-mail address. i shook hands with a colleague, a security guard who i got to know, and one of the senior managers. another supervisor came out with best wishes unexpectedly, she likely didn’t know i was leaving someone probably told her that night. i got a courtesy cup of water got my things and out of the door i went. i was hearing a tune from the butler as i walking from the theater for the last time as an associate.
i feel as if this is something to frame. this was my last night there and after that i wasn’t coming back to work. i was already talking about skipping my last schedule day there because during the time i had been scheduled i was still doing the training at the “gotham bank” office. a bit of a conflict though now that this was about the end of my two-week period it didn’t matter.
one era ends a new one starts and that means off to new adventures starting with the bank.
jack v marks another milestone – a month that turned pivotal…
october was when i finally received my first job offer in years, probably since starting at “the show”. after two interviews earlier in that month the next week i got a phone call with a job offer that i accepted. so among other necessary changes a new job was one of them.
another change was that it was time to finally pull those bad teeth and receive a flipper to replace them. i learned only recently how my appearance somewhat changed because i had some teeth fixed. this month was only the start of that and more to come.
moreover i did those last two interviews before job offer were with bad teeth. the first interview that offered me the job was for a bank teller position. the second interview interestingly enough was to be a manager at a movie theater downtown. the second interview gave me great confidence even if i didn’t get it and while i continued to struggle at the bank often fantasized about what if i had become a theater manager.
in the meanwhile it was time to figure out what to do with “the show”. the bank job was actually part-time and i was on probationary status starting out. some suggested that i keep the job at the theater and ultimately i decided it was time to say peace out to “the show”. time to go and pursue other opportunities that i wasn’t going to be able to access where i remained.
i had to leave some of the people i grew somewhat fond of behind. the others whom i began to have issues with i had to leave them behind also as they weren’t part of my future. ironically before i turn in my two week notice one of the mangers who i had some issues turned in hers, she was tired of that place also.
having turned in my two week notice it was time for the so-called “victory lap”. i succeeded where for a good period of time i wasn’t able to. it felt great to be able to leave that place behind. finally to work a job that pays great and with some benefits. most importantly opportunities for some career growth not just a job.
of course as you already know as i’ve written about this pivotal moment a number times since i started this blog the job i accepted let me go after over a month. this set into motion even more changes just as important as leaving “the show”.
this blog has marked a number of milestones especially jobhunting milestones. for example two years ago in october i finally scored a job offer and left “the show”. this time last year i got my first raise also this time last year i signed up for health insurance through my job.
today it’s been two years since i decided to get started on my teeth. i sometimes look through my own fb photos and see my upper lip extended a little over my bottom lip. it’s because one front upper tooth drooped down and somewhat affected my appearance. today i see a minor difference when i look at more recent selfies since having this procedure done.
i made this decision not long after purchasing health insurance which included dental. initially i got started with frequent cleanings and got a prescription for a abscess. the issues weren’t new i had periodontal disease diagnosed in the last decade but it was only recently i began to do something about it. my teeth started to get worse as time went on.
it helped that people didn’t mind commenting on it. in fact a customer being an asshole only said “beautiful smile” after seeing my teeth. he could’ve been negative but my thought was why even say anything.
either way i just made a call to my mother’s new dentist and her office was in a nice building in hyde park. ironically it was one where i paid a visit to a periodontist years ago and this lady wanted to perform a procedure where they’d have to cut my gums to really clean between teeth and perform bone and gun grafting. needless to say thanks to the expense of that and the goriness of that procedure it was easier to just not do it.
either way within the next two month i would get deep cleaned in my mouth and then prepped for getting those problem teeth pulled and then fitted with no only “flipper” teeth but also a permanent bridge. i feel much better about my appearance today then i had for a few years at that point.
now i continued to interview with bad teeth and for a while i was getting no results. in spite of that i got a job offer at the bank. the first day on the job at the bank i sported new teeth. and then just before i started my current job i got more new teeth. at that this was just after the bank let me go.
for the time being at least and it turns out to be partially true in my estimation, my teeth was no longer a barrier to getting a new job. hopefully not a barrier to finding a mate.
BTW, i had to note many of the people i worked with at “the show” the ones i enjoyed working with noticed the change. they wanted to know who my dentist was. i felt really good about the change after that. 🙂
recently i look at my wordpress app on my phone and it was noted that i have achieved my one year anniversary blogging at wordpress. one year and technically i wrote a few posts on my old blogger site. regardless a year ago i moved over to wordpress.
i decided to dip my toe in the world of virginity blogging. of course i’ve talked a lot about things like my work history, my adventures in social networking, etc and all through the schtick of being a real adult male virgin. it seems i’ve whined and complained about things during most of the year and showed how things have changed for the better.
now every now and then when i log onto wordpress i get notifications on different “achievements”. i got x amount of likes on this day, x amount of comments, etc. laudable achievements for a blog that isn’t exactly going viral. in fact it was something that was my intention however it’s something that i’d rather not happen at this point.
all the same, in this whole year i can say that i haven’t had many personal achievements. i can say i got a raise at work for the first time in LIFE. i could say for the first time in life i finally got a full-time job. perhaps i’m much closer to being a “hotshot” manager at a job. great things that have happened for me for the past year and a half. mostly happened before i started blogging.
then i realize how much closer i am to missing my goal – to lose my virginity before i turn 40. to at least find the right woman to ultimately marry – or this mythical her. to become him and be the man who can attract that woman. i realize i haven’t an idea.
well we can explore that in year two. yeah i can still talk about work. perhaps i’ll still talk about the connections with women who could be the ones i want to attract. either way year two won’t be much about the past – as much as i have little issue with dwelling on things. it will be about progress – the future.
So this month marks two milestones. The main milestone was that I left my dead end job at the cinema in the hopes of making more money and greater occupational growth. The other milestone involved the dental work I need to do and that involved numbing and pulling teeth.
Perhaps this time next year I can talk about another milestone. Perhaps it’ll be a promotion at work, perhaps it’ll be a relationship, or perhaps just sex with her. It doesn’t matter as long as there are people rooting for me it’s something worth sharing.
It seems I can’t help but write posts about working here. The thing is finding a new job was key to making some improvements in my life. That included fixing my smile that had been altered by a gum disease and failed to get adequately treated.
Funny thing is that my time job hunting there was some concern more on some other people’s part that my inability to get a job offer was due to my smile. Funny thing was got a job offer in spite of my smile and on the firs day of my job was sporting a new set of front teeth.
As stated, the job I arrived at proved to be a bad fit and have since moved onto another job after only a month unemployed. Have been doing pretty good ever since and have only been happier since leaving.
Here’s hoping that by the first anniversary of this blog, I’ll have some progress as far as feeling some love. ❤