June & changes

Well a lot of changes at work.

To start finally last month the string of nights have just ended. As of late most of my shifts involves breaking down the load for my dept. Sometimes I feel as if I’m not work as fast as possible. However there are days where the job gets done and proud of those.

Our team receiver hasn’t been to work since about January and thus we had a few months where no one was available to do the load. And often those duties rotated between me and two new hires. One of those new hires has since left although still listed on Fresh’s social network. The other has transitioned to other tasks and for now that leaves me.

We lost a few people during the last two months one just had issues with tardies – sound familiar. The other not sure or nothing that I’ve heard about what happened. Just know that he’s no longer listed on the company’s social network and at one point my dept had a posting looking for another full-time worker. We’ve since posted for new people to replace those who have moved on.

Either way it would be cool to be the team receiver and to do something different than dealing with customers and that leads to another new situation. There have been changes to my old dept as the dept mgr who hired me is moving on. I’ve been knowing about that since at least April and one of his assistant managers have ascended to replace him. And with the easing of these pandemic restrictions my old dept is now hiring full-time or part-time and that means I could go back, right?

Well I thought they’d give us “dibs” once the situation changes. So far no one is banging down on my door as of yet. So my consideration is do I really want to go back and do the same thing I had been doing? I’d rather deal with heavy containers of product than deal with mentally heavy customers and especially with food. So that’s my consideration for now, if they offer me a “good deal” to return then it’s worth it.

I suppose for now thats the consideration with returning to the Hole. I see they’re still looking for full-timers, however, I did express interest via email with one of the assistant managers. He never responded only he knows why, but what I would’ve liked to do is see if I can get back into the buy/receive that I had started there four years ago. Who knows if it’s advisable or even doable…

As a matter of face sometime in April Larry actually came to my assignment. Since my former dept mgr’s job was up I figured perhaps he was there to check out the dept, instead I later saw that he was helping out another dept. I had decided in my head that perhaps he wasn’t trying to go for it. Just there to help out as mgmt as it were.

Although speaking of that dept, which is next to my old team they’re looking for a new dept mgr. The young man who took on the role lasted just about six or so months and shockingly they’re looking for another one. Perhaps for him it just wasn’t working out for him – wait sounds familiar doesn’t it? Anyway since I never had the opportunity to get to know the young man who knows what his issues were.

Well all I can say for now is that change is a best. Either adjust/adapt or get out of the way!

Christmas

It was a tradition with my father’s brothers and sisters to have a gathering at one of my aunt’s house on Christmas. She was very lively and was heavily involved in church activities. Her cooking was often top notch and most of the family who was available to attend from cousins to her siblings and then even in-laws would come over to eat and socialize. For my part I just stay in a corner and people would often just approach because of course that’s what they were there for.

Well, the last one I attended it was when my mother was getting out of the hospital after getting further treatment for her condition. I didn’t stay as my mother who was waiting in the car probably was advised to avoid gatherings, you know social distancing because of the treatment she had – very much pre-pandemic. While I didn’t speak to anyone other than my aunt that I recall my only purpose was to pick up a plate she fixed for my mother on our way back to our home on that day.

That’s the last one I recall and it’s something that I now realize I took for granted. That aunt I’ve heard this year is beginning to lose it. Her mind just isn’t what it used to be and she is up there in the years. Alas since I’m not always the most sociable, I didn’t always want to be bothered. And there were times she’d lay her sociability very thick and often there was no favorable response from me.

My mother had to tell me some of this is because of my dad’s untimely demise and yes he went to these gatherings but owing to his temperamental nature I’ll bet he didn’t go every year. I get the sense that at some point my dad kept his distance from his family.

I remember we were with another aunt and my dad carried on to the point where she just got out of the car and took a bus home. She got tired of him and I can’t say some of this was his personality or his substance abuse.

Well I took a lot of these things for granted. Here’s hoping you’re cherishing the memories you’re making now! Never take anything for granted as one day it can be taken from you.

I hope you’re having a happy holidays this year.

Lately as we head into the holidays

Sorry to have not been updating as much as usual. I had some posts in the pipeline I had been working on and find myself less than satisfied with them. My birthday had also just passed so I wouldn’t be too upset if anyone left some belated birthday wishes.

Work has largely been uneventful had quite a few nights lately. Something I’m just not happy with, but what can you do? Options with jobs are largely limited right now. Especially at Fresh Foods, but then unfortunately I can have a one track mind about that…

Of course two of the more dominant subjects on this blog recurring was about the Hustler and the Reign of Error. There’s not much I want to write about the Hustler although the last time I saw his fb page I see him in the loving embrace of a woman. That may mean I may not hear much from him unless that falls apart. I could say he’ll find a way to alienate her, however, allow me to be optimistic and hope for the best of the couple. It seems like a mismatch she is older and very attractive she takes care of herself very well. The Hustler aka the Fiend is very grizzled, I would dare say he’s led a hard life then again he’s always looking for drama so his face reflects that.

My mother is doing OK, getting older and may be in line for the vaccine for this bug. I hope she just doesn’t buy into it hook line and sinker, but hey she is also at the most risk for this thing. I’m just glad that I hadn’t brought anything home with me, though for the most part I have been as careful as possible about it. Usually when I come home I spray disinfectant usually in the kitchen since I usually leave some items in the kitchen until my next work day.

I shared a pic with you all on instagram on a night where I was grocery shopping and beginning to see the shortages. It’s always temporary but it was jarring to see at the beginning of this crisis back in March how bare store shelves were. We could talk about dairy, produce, canned goods, meats, toilet tissue, sanitizer, disinfectant….could I go on. I’m just glad when this vaccine goes to those who need it most we can finally get out of this crisis as I just know there are many who are growing tired of it.

I’m still working on the Climax and sorry to not be as forthcoming on it. My goal as a writer is to be as satisfied with the finished product as possible. Hopefully I get some time off and can finish it soon.

Finally allow me to leave you with the theme from Midnight Cowboy. It’s a movie I’m not that familiar with though I see through synopsis that it has some familiar themes of loneliness or male alienation. I suppose it’s relatable in that case, however, with work that can change. Yes?

September

I had nothing to write earlier this month so it was important for me to share some Earth, Wind & Fire to mark this month and the start of fall. It’s something quite soulful and pleasant. It’s definitely a marked change from most of the music played by the younger generation that I heard for most of Labor Day Weekend. I don’t think these young folks know what good music is.

When they were born at least we heard the music of Tupac, Ice Cube (before he became an actor), Ice T (also before he became an actor), and so many others during the course of the 1990s. Hell a movie was made about Ice Cube as he was at first part of a group named N.W.A. – you’ll have to figure out what that means – that movie was named “Straight Outta Compton”.

Well I’m still working on what I want to write for this month so stay tuned.

I miss the 1990s

I really do, the music was awesome. The movies I enjoyed back then. The TV programs also. I wish I had the social media tools back then facebook, twitter, instagram, and youtube didn’t exist back then. As a matter of fact the internet was this exotic techology I had a vague concept of.

I have to admit it’s funny to watch this Jerry Springer clip from 1995 and the internet was mentioned on TV even then.

What prompted this post. Somehow Skee Lo a one-hit wonder from the 1990s was a reference on an episode of Family Guy. Of course his catchy lyrics was used in a side gag on the show recited rather dryly with a wizard granting his wishes. lol

All the same life seemed so much simpler back then believe it or not. Part of it is that yours truly was a kid with very little responsibilities still going through school. Not yet even with a high school diploma. Not a lot of worries not even socially….

Still I look on those days as fun times with their own ups & downs.

July

I just wanted to update you all. I haven’t heard from the Hustler since February so basically it seems as if he’s finally gotten the hint. Of course often I’ve stated this or even said this might be the last time I say anything else about him only for him to call one more time. A very quiet end if I never hear from him again, but I really have no desire for a real conflict with the man.

I also stated that it’s not really news any longer that he’s attempted after some time to make contact. It’s been established that if he feels the need to dial my number he will. The only way he won’t is I gave him a reason not to, and often since February no answer isn’t really an answer, he tries again. Sometimes I recognize him as some others as a man who is determined not to be ignored.

I noted two months ago that I’ve decided that the subject of him is something I didn’t want to keep banging out and found some other subjects to discuss. Then noted there were some other posts in the pipeline I wanted to share. So this month I plan to share those posts and it rounds up a couple of stories that is time to put to rest.

Nothing much new beyond that however I hope to do my vacation this month. It’s another family reunion and it’s been a few years since Ive been to Georgia where I attended Mission College for my extended undergrad years. This would be very interesting and believe it or not I’m such a delight at these reunions and even more so now that I’m out of school and have my own cash.

(Can you sense the sarcasm? :P)

More to come this month…

How about the Fresh Prince now that we’re in the heat of summer

 

Billy Joel – My Life

Since I’ve mentioned the one time I was a bank teller, it should be noted that this song was seemingly heard often on the radio during my shifts at the branch. I got very tired of it as time went on, and it grated on me once events ran their course there. It’s a shame too because it’s really a great song, although a tad ahead of my time.

This is one of many great songs by one Billy Joel…. It could become the anthem of this blog. 🙂

July

blur bokeh bright burnt

Happy 4th!

Well I’m sure as the month goes on I’ll have more to report as far as the modern day.

I plan to share another story from my senior year of high school. It’s somewhat embarrassing and is a lesson when it comes to an overbearing parent. And I could relate it to the fact that during my junior year of high school my dad finally succumbed to the complications of his alcoholism.

Also I want to give another update on an old friend Anthony. It has been a few months since he tried to get in touch with me. He wished me a happy birthday on my FB page and then made an errant comment which I deleted upon seeing a hotly anticipated film release. It irritated me because he wanted to open up a can of worms that when you think about it really bother him more than it does me. That’s his thing however he feels as if he has to punch through barriers that shouldn’t concern him! So far I haven’t heard much from him again after his odd attempts to get into contact.

Even though I got a reboot with “Fresh Foods” I’m going to get a little trip in this summer. The last time I had been to my parent’s southern hometown was not long after graduating from “Mission College”. Though I’m sorry you won’t see many of them I anticipate taking lots of iPhone videos and photographs. When I have children I can show them their roots and if I’m lucky perhaps I can own some land down there.

Since I was let go from “Fresh” I don’t have as much vacation time accrued. So it’ll be like requesting off from “The Show” I get those days off, but I won’t get paid. It sucks but that’s the situation I’m in, just concerned that I won’t have that paid time off banked to be able to really use it!

All the same as we’re already in roughly the half-way point of summertime some interesting things are going on currently and more to come! How about some Will Smith aka The Fresh Prince.

 

When she shoots her shot

One of the guys I met in college shared this song by Alicia Keys “You don’t know my name” on his instagram page. He shared in four parts and in a meme format with the caption “when she shoots her shot first”. Hmmm, then I hear the song and to be honest it struck me as creepy.

Perhaps I’m making more out of this than I should. If the right girl comes along, but you likely don’t notice her so then she tries to get your attention. Why is this, because perhaps she knows she’s interested in you? Perhaps it’s more of a case of she wants to see if you will go for it. Meaning you can either go for it and still be left with nothing or you don’t go for it and you’re an a**hole. Ex: Candice.

All the same this video starts off well enough she uses a business card to contact this man who comes into this diner perhaps for coffee or breakfast. She’s instantly taken with him and sees his business card. She calls him up and strikes up a conversation, strangely enough he never seems to respond and she’s just responding to whatever he says. Wait that doesn’t make any sense right? That’s because at the end of the video even though she’s making out with the man she got in touch with, it turns out it was all a day dream he’s gone from the diner, and she doesn’t realize his business card is in a fish bowl waiting for her to grab it.

See that’s why he never appears to say anything when she talks to him on the phone. She never took her shot it was all imagined. He’s another man whom she may or may not ever see again. I meet a woman like this – who’s very forward and shoots her shot – well I don’t respond to it well. I’m guessing most men won’t for the most part. The reverse happens with men of course, there are women I like upon seeing them – even if I know little about their personality – then I never see them again!

I asked a friend of mine about a video I showed him about those professional women (a production of the now deleted mgtow 101 YouTube channel). There was one woman who was talking to a man – outside of her race – the convo was going well but ultimately they parts and she’s left wondering “WTF happened?”. One of the girls outright suggest that she asks for his number, she says no. It’s hard for her to make that move because women expect to be pursued. And if she did shoot her shot, she could still be seen by a man not used this behavior as a “flake”.

To be honest, I hate the idea of the pursuit. Perhaps it’s easier if say I really was a hunter, which I’m not all the same I have to catch a prey. Perhaps a rabbit or a deer that’s what I call hunting and the interesting part is that you shoot your shot with the prey. Get your rifle make a kill and you have dinner or more accurately that satisfaction of a successful hunt. In this case when it comes to romance, dating, or sex hunting is a little different and the results could hurt your self-esteem. Perhaps no one likes the feeling of not being wanted even in a romantic/sexual sense.

As a guy have to put my feelings in my pocket with a woman of course when things don’t go well and then that becomes hard. It’s always about finding the right woman who suits you best. It’ll never be about a woman who you have to continuously bow down to because she said yes and it’s not worth finding someone who suits you best. Or at least it should never be about that.

With that said everyone is different. A man could give in to a woman who shoots her shot. Perhaps it works out and they have a lasting relationship, which is never a bad thing. On the other hand, you could shoot your shot and force it with the result being a backfire which has happened of course. On the other hand if you don’t try something that enables you to have that relationship bottom line is that you’ll never know.

may 2007

so i go way back for this one 10 years ago. so the actions set in motion from this period would likely set the tone for the next 7 years at least. i will begin to explain.

i was at “mission college” still plodding and largely floundering. i was actually a senior and it turns out i won’t be graduating that spring. i had my ass handed to me in several of my courses during the course of that year. mostly Fs with a splash of D’s and D+’s. and by the end of this summer i would be kicked out of school again and had to fight my way back.

yeah remember that brief blurb i wrote about a girl named nicole (yeah the post involving my cousin) well during that period i had also been kicked out of mission and appealed for re-instatement. i chase after some woman and got nothing for my troubles and almost lost my opportunity to get a degree from this prestigious college.

all the same i made quite a few key mistakes and paid for it with bad grades. i was lucky to come back out alive the next semester when i fought my way back in with an appeal armed with a spreadsheet determining which grades should count. if only i was that much of a genius so that this didn’t happen in the first place.

now why this sets the time tone for the next seven years – from 2007 to 2014 – because this would be the one time i just said fuck it. i was finally alright with letting this go. no more designs on getting a prestigious degree from “mission college” and i could jump start my life during what was left of my 20s. just come home and start job hunting and get my life in order.

while this life wasn’t exciting it was unconventional. this also would mean no more looking at those “hillman college” women as a college student. no more student loan debt, studying, expensive books or even courses made difficult.

i can only imagine what i would’ve done if i never got reinstated. i know i’d be looking for another job and i’d have to explain what happened with my school. why i never finished my degree and better yet where have i been since i really hadn’t held down employment. i’d have been a very risky hire surely.

then i wonder if i’d have found myself at “the show” and perhaps i’d be in a better situation in my early 30s if i had never finished at “mission”. to be honest i have little idea today. if graduating from “mission” was my goal i reached it to my surprise…