When she shoots her shot

One of the guys I met in college shared this song by Alicia Keys “You don’t know my name” on his instagram page. He shared in four parts and in a meme format with the caption “when she shoots her shot first”. Hmmm, then I hear the song and to be honest it struck me as creepy.

Perhaps I’m making more out of this than I should. If the right girl comes along, but you likely don’t notice her so then she tries to get your attention. Why is this, because perhaps she knows she’s interested in you? Perhaps it’s more of a case of she wants to see if you will go for it. Meaning you can either go for it and still be left with nothing or you don’t go for it and you’re an a**hole. Ex: Candice.

All the same this video starts off well enough she uses a business card to contact this man who comes into this diner perhaps for coffee or breakfast. She’s instantly taken with him and sees his business card. She calls him up and strikes up a conversation, strangely enough he never seems to respond and she’s just responding to whatever he says. Wait that doesn’t make any sense right? That’s because at the end of the video even though she’s making out with the man she got in touch with, it turns out it was all a day dream he’s gone from the diner, and she doesn’t realize his business card is in a fish bowl waiting for her to grab it.

See that’s why he never appears to say anything when she talks to him on the phone. She never took her shot it was all imagined. He’s another man whom she may or may not ever see again. I meet a woman like this – who’s very forward and shoots her shot – well I don’t respond to it well. I’m guessing most men won’t for the most part. The reverse happens with men of course, there are women I like upon seeing them – even if I know little about their personality – then I never see them again!

I asked a friend of mine about a video I showed him about those professional women (a production of the now deleted mgtow 101 YouTube channel). There was one woman who was talking to a man – outside of her race – the convo was going well but ultimately they parts and she’s left wondering “WTF happened?”. One of the girls outright suggest that she asks for his number, she says no. It’s hard for her to make that move because women expect to be pursued. And if she did shoot her shot, she could still be seen by a man not used this behavior as a “flake”.

To be honest, I hate the idea of the pursuit. Perhaps it’s easier if say I really was a hunter, which I’m not all the same I have to catch a prey. Perhaps a rabbit or a deer that’s what I call hunting and the interesting part is that you shoot your shot with the prey. Get your rifle make a kill and you have dinner or more accurately that satisfaction of a successful hunt. In this case when it comes to romance, dating, or sex hunting is a little different and the results could hurt your self-esteem. Perhaps no one likes the feeling of not being wanted even in a romantic/sexual sense.

As a guy have to put my feelings in my pocket with a woman of course when things don’t go well and then that becomes hard. It’s always about finding the right woman who suits you best. It’ll never be about a woman who you have to continuously bow down to because she said yes and it’s not worth finding someone who suits you best. Or at least it should never be about that.

With that said everyone is different. A man could give in to a woman who shoots her shot. Perhaps it works out and they have a lasting relationship, which is never a bad thing. On the other hand, you could shoot your shot and force it with the result being a backfire which has happened of course. On the other hand if you don’t try something that enables you to have that relationship bottom line is that you’ll never know.

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may 2007

so i go way back for this one 10 years ago. so the actions set in motion from this period would likely set the tone for the next 7 years at least. i will begin to explain.

i was at “mission college” still plodding and largely floundering. i was actually a senior and it turns out i won’t be graduating that spring. i had my ass handed to me in several of my courses during the course of that year. mostly Fs with a splash of D’s and D+’s. and by the end of this summer i would be kicked out of school again and had to fight my way back.

yeah remember that brief blurb i wrote about a girl named nicole (yeah the post involving my cousin) well during that period i had also been kicked out of mission and appealed for re-instatement. i chase after some woman and got nothing for my troubles and almost lost my opportunity to get a degree from this prestigious college.

all the same i made quite a few key mistakes and paid for it with bad grades. i was lucky to come back out alive the next semester when i fought my way back in with an appeal armed with a spreadsheet determining which grades should count. if only i was that much of a genius so that this didn’t happen in the first place.

now why this sets the time tone for the next seven years – from 2007 to 2014 – because this would be the one time i just said fuck it. i was finally alright with letting this go. no more designs on getting a prestigious degree from “mission college” and i could jump start my life during what was left of my 20s. just come home and start job hunting and get my life in order.

while this life wasn’t exciting it was unconventional. this also would mean no more looking at those “hillman college” women as a college student. no more student loan debt, studying, expensive books or even courses made difficult.

i can only imagine what i would’ve done if i never got reinstated. i know i’d be looking for another job and i’d have to explain what happened with my school. why i never finished my degree and better yet where have i been since i really hadn’t held down employment. i’d have been a very risky hire surely.

then i wonder if i’d have found myself at “the show” and perhaps i’d be in a better situation in my early 30s if i had never finished at “mission”. to be honest i have little idea today. if graduating from “mission” was my goal i reached it to my surprise…