$h!tshow

You know I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while on here. It would’ve been perfect during the unrest over three years ago but then I hadn’t thought about it until recently.

So roughly during the winter/spring 10 years ago while at The Show, I was made aware of an allegation against one of our senior mgrs. I’m going to give him a moniker – Jacques – but let’s start with his hair style often resembled the style sported by The Beatles during their peak. He was a bit high strung and tight, very flamboyant in his behavior, he almost reminded me of the maitre’d on the TV program Hell’s Kitchen.

Jacques had allegedly (I never witnessed this) been overheard talking with another mgr – the one referred to as the HBIC we might discuss her further one day – and out of nowhere stated “I’m going to go watch these monkeys“. That is a statement that should’ve gotten him fired and potentially gotten her in trouble. I don’t know how many witnesses there were, however, I do know one of those stated witnesses had been let go in a “theft ring” at the cinemas back then.

If you want to know how I became aware of it, Anthony pulled me aside to let me know about it. I’m not sure why he opted to let me in on it. At one point I called it “drama” and he objected essentially to my use of that term in that situation. This incident allowed him to further his narrative about how The Show and its owners are both unfair and racist.

Of course the next question now becomes how exactly did he get involved with this? Anthony tends to talk to everyone so it probably started that way. Perhaps as even a loud mouth and cantankerous he may well have knowledge of the internal HR process of companies and he might have been a good resource to lean on. However, he may well have his own agenda in stirring this up. As you might know I don’t entirely believe everything he says anymore so now I just take a lot of what he told me with regards to this incident with a grain of salt.

His first move was to bring this to the attention of the GM who seemed to be glad to know about this as he tells it. Anthony later showed me a letter regarding this and when thinking about it is not clear who wrote the letter. Knowing how he texts the letter was far more professional than he could really write. I know this because during this time he had me type emails to those businesses or people he wanted to do business with. I don’t know if this coworker wrote this letter either. Regardless whoever produced this letter it was addressed to the GM, the HR person, and The Show’s company executives. It would be amazing that if this incident actually hadn’t happened that he had someone else outside of this situation to write this letter.

However, according to him he got blown off by the GM upon asking for an update and promised to cause some trouble in some way. He claims to know people although who he knows and who might actually follow-up is another question. Anthony told me later that the House Manager updated him that Jacques had been suspended for two-weeks without pay. The explanation was more or less a matter of them knowing Jacques for so many years and this wasn’t known to the employees because we really weren’t supposed to know. Again, this is something he should’ve been fired for and instead it’s a slap on the wrist. He lasted almost another two years – not too long after I had left – before he himself moved on from The Show.

With this said, if this happened did Jacques say he was going to watch these monkeys? Was it possible he was misheard or even his statement misconstrued? Well in 20/20 hindsight the man was a d!ck and was very loose with his words. I’ve witnessed this a few times myself with employees and a security guard noted how Jacques went at it with a customer using sarcasm. So if this incident happened, it was possible that he said what he said. Like a few mgrs up there he was unconcerned about what came out of his mouth and how it came out of his mouth though he wasn’t as flagrant as his colleagues as the HBIC

The coworker who allegedly reported this got promoted to supervisor almost a year later and she lasted in that role for roughly two years though as I had since moved on only she knows when exactly she did so. However, she herself was reported as a snake and was said to have a hand in the dismissal of another supervisor, my old coworker Keith. Still I just wonder why she was willing to work under someone (basically a supervisor works under a senior mgr) who showed very clear contempt for the workers. Although in all reality if Jacques did use such language and this coworker bears that in mind when accepting a promotion it was a relatively brief time anyway.

You know I don’t want to characterize all The Show’s mgmt as unprofessional there were some who were cool or even fair. Those were the exceptions more often than not. And unfortunately I often forget about the ones who called it as close to the middle as possible. Unfortunately I do remember the ones who I felt were unfair or just with a hair trigger temper looking to take their frustrations on someone or even just to throw under the bus.

Religion

Well religion won’t be as much discussed as perhaps my own personal history with it.

I’ve always associated church with having to clean up and dress up. Perhaps I’m just allergic to that, well not allergic just something that perhaps my mother and father felt it was necessary to do. Of course it’s not so much that you should show up in church wearing pajamas. I like the idea of going to a service in casual attire which suits me best.

Either way for some reason I started looking up the church where the services for my father was held. It’s not far from home and I can’t even begin to tell you the last time I’ve been to services there. When I was out of school one of his sisters, my aunt suggested to my mother that I go to Sunday School roughly fall  2002 or so for the purposes of job leads. I’ve not been been back to that church since then.

Oh yeah current update which I offered a while ago is this aunt is currently in cognitive decline so she may not be attending services at this church as she used to in the past. Also my dad had actually joined her church.

Anyway my dad had a church home where we had his funeral and I do recall that in the past he stood up to join the church we had a period of faithful attendance and then it tapered off. Not to my surprise, yet to my relief. Although 20/20 hindsight if it could’ve helped him with his drinking it would be a good thing although it’s unknown why he stopped going regularly or even if him joining the church was part of an effort for him to stop drinking.

Anyway in perhaps the decades since his unexpected demise so many changes to that church. The church I remember over so many Sundays is no longer an active church. It’s still there, however, church services are now held in a nearby building, and I’ve never been inside that building. It’s gone through two pastors since my dad had passed away.

The one pastor I do remember presided over dad’s funeral and was in the hospital as my dad was on a respirator to pray with us. I remember his theme song when he stepped up to the podium that you see in the above video. Alas I hardly remember any of his sermons at all, so I was hardly in tune with what was going on at church. Perhaps too eager to get back home and get back to normal.

Although one thing I’ve considered if joining a church is my future. In my history there have been services which had very boisterous worship. I suppose I’ve had my fill of that. In my youth my mother and I would attend Methodist services at a nearby church. I had often dismissed Catholicism and now I’m considering it.

Come to think of it, I had been wrongly judgemental of the services I have been to. I’ve been to services where they spoke in tongue, I really had an issue with it. Of course I’ve been to services with something of a call and response style. Of course there were choirs and organs, however, right now I’m searching for my own answer.

Perhaps this is the wrong way of approaching it, but when I choose a church I want to do something different and unexpected. Catholicism could be it I think, however, if I want some “praise” thank goodness for the internet!

Comfort level revisited

I’m going back to a post I wrote two years ago this month and shared on my own facebook page on New Years Day asking the question “How does one get out of their comfort level?”

No easy answers but one simple answer I’ve encountered was to do something that you’ve never really done before. Another interesting answer is why leave your comfort zone?

And then I think about this. I like to talk about how at one point I went from making about $10K/year to $20K/yr. I consider that quite an accomplishment because going through the stagnation of working for minimum wage at The Show to go up about an extra $10/k yr in wages was a come up for me. And on top of that benefits, some paid time off (which I used for going out of town especially) it was a more comfortable position to be in compared with being at a barebones place such as The Show.

One thing I will add is that it’s very easy to complain. I’ve done a fair share of it and to be honest one thing that should sink in is that complaining is an unappealing trait. Sometimes I don’t like it when someone else does it and for me I try to catch myself as best I can. However complaining does no good if you’re unwilling to do something about it. Even if it means you have to, for example, change jobs.

Another aspect of comfort level is dating. And to be honest I’m not sure how to crack that issue. Can’t meet someone at work really because you could risk “creating a hostile work environment”. And meeting someone in public a complete stranger can be iffy also. And online dating well another can of worms explored here, it’s just difficult to really break out there.

I’m also finding that it can be hard to break out at work. You can make one bad impression and it marks you almost forever. Or a change in mgmt can just grind you to a halt as happened at the Hole just about five years ago. It just doesn’t take much although you have to do something about it and for some I’ve met at a job over the years many of their responses is to just move on – and that’s a valid response. It’s what was necessary after great hesitancy at The Show, even if me leaving for Gotham Bank only served to bring me to Fresh Foods.

Two years ago when writing the original post I was thinking about moving away from home and moving to a state I’ve never spent much time in. Or have hardly any connections there, it seems like an exotic locale even if the state in question could really be seen as unexciting and bland. Then again aside from living for many years in a college dorm still trying to get my bachelor’s degree, this is one challenge I’ve never had. And bolstered by one main fact, I work at a fortune 500 company with locations around the country. As long as I have that – and don’t suffer any major setbacks will be a good thing.

However, I feel as if this is the new challenge to break out of my comfort zone. One goal is to make six-figures perhaps make $100K/yr. Perhaps the opportunities are dwindling for that, however, if I can’t break out of my comfort zone I won’t get close.

October 2014

I wrote a version of this post back in 2017 and find myself very dissatisfied with it. So I will rewrite it with a very different focus.

October has proven to be an important month and seven years ago it represented a transition from my job at The Show to another job at Gotham Bank. It was a long time coming after two years of job hunting with some starts and stops and frustrations. At this point my search for a job offer was finally ending.

The situation at the cinema was mellow for the most part. Well almost as there were still odd conflicts though once I did turn in my two weeks things calmed down. Some of the mgrs I seemed to have not done very well with even started talking to me again. Were they glad I left for something better? Which is strange, wouldn’t they want to be rid of me? Some of them acted like it!

The coworkers I didnt get along well with – often teenaged girls or the meangirls of $h!tplace – gave me some distance expressing their silent disdain. That’s OK perhaps one day they’ll get the job that they want. Perhaps they need to find out how to get along with people better.

I had a list of things to complete before I finally started on my first job at the bank. To be fair it didn’t start off very well and set the tone until what would happen in December. At the same time there was some excitement or at least that’s what I wanted to feel about my next move at that time.

Who am I kidding? I was apprehensive about this move. It was time to move on from The Show, however, perhaps I was unsure about this. Perhaps I didn’t really want to leave the cinema. Isn’t that strange to not want to leave a place where you were so frustrated, miserable, or sometimes isolated? Yeah it was but then some things to consider.

First off I’d be working closer to home as opposed to near the vibrancy of downtown Chicago. Not to say that was a problem, however, it wasn’t ideal. My four interviews with different Gotham branches three of them were at branches in or around downtown and who hired me the one branch near my part of town. In a neighborhood that was sketchy, in fact a neighborhood where Anthony’s martial arts school was. It was a culture shock to actually work at that branch and experience the slicksters, the problems, well things you expect working with the public. Now I’m really responsible for the money.

Though in my optimism if I could make it at that branch on the south side perhaps I could make it anywhere. Perhaps even go to the main branch in downtown which I learned intimidated the temperamental supervisor Minnie at my branch. Ugh it just didn’t take too long to realize this wasn’t working. My mother’s job was nearby at the time sometimes after work I would hold up in her office and sometimes I run into her colleagues who would note my banking job trying to encourage me. I just wasn’t feeling it…

Meanwhile at The Show as I get on-boarded and do training off site from the branch. I was working my last few days at the cinema. A long time in coming – the victory lap was ending and my last day ever as an employee there.

Once the training was over I went to the cinema closest to where I would be working in the future at the Hole. The picture I saw on that evening was Dear White People. It was an entertaining satire that I enjoyed and a great way to bookend the most interesting era that I was finally leaving behind.

I was leaving behind The Show and I was leaving behind the Streak Era.

Allow me to share Time from the film Inception soundtrack. It’s a great track which could work with this story I just told. Inception was shown during my first year at The Show and is legitimately one of my favorite pictures of all time!

June & changes

Well a lot of changes at work.

To start finally last month the string of nights have just ended. As of late most of my shifts involves breaking down the load for my dept. Sometimes I feel as if I’m not work as fast as possible. However there are days where the job gets done and proud of those.

Our team receiver hasn’t been to work since about January and thus we had a few months where no one was available to do the load. And often those duties rotated between me and two new hires. One of those new hires has since left although still listed on Fresh’s social network. The other has transitioned to other tasks and for now that leaves me.

We lost a few people during the last two months one just had issues with tardies – sound familiar. The other not sure or nothing that I’ve heard about what happened. Just know that he’s no longer listed on the company’s social network and at one point my dept had a posting looking for another full-time worker. We’ve since posted for new people to replace those who have moved on.

Either way it would be cool to be the team receiver and to do something different than dealing with customers and that leads to another new situation. There have been changes to my old dept as the dept mgr who hired me is moving on. I’ve been knowing about that since at least April and one of his assistant managers have ascended to replace him. And with the easing of these pandemic restrictions my old dept is now hiring full-time or part-time and that means I could go back, right?

Well I thought they’d give us “dibs” once the situation changes. So far no one is banging down on my door as of yet. So my consideration is do I really want to go back and do the same thing I had been doing? I’d rather deal with heavy containers of product than deal with mentally heavy customers and especially with food. So that’s my consideration for now, if they offer me a “good deal” to return then it’s worth it.

I suppose for now thats the consideration with returning to the Hole. I see they’re still looking for full-timers, however, I did express interest via email with one of the assistant managers. He never responded only he knows why, but what I would’ve liked to do is see if I can get back into the buy/receive that I had started there four years ago. Who knows if it’s advisable or even doable…

As a matter of face sometime in April Larry actually came to my assignment. Since my former dept mgr’s job was up I figured perhaps he was there to check out the dept, instead I later saw that he was helping out another dept. I had decided in my head that perhaps he wasn’t trying to go for it. Just there to help out as mgmt as it were.

Although speaking of that dept, which is next to my old team they’re looking for a new dept mgr. The young man who took on the role lasted just about six or so months and shockingly they’re looking for another one. Perhaps for him it just wasn’t working out for him – wait sounds familiar doesn’t it? Anyway since I never had the opportunity to get to know the young man who knows what his issues were.

Well all I can say for now is that change is a best. Either adjust/adapt or get out of the way!

Christmas

It was a tradition with my father’s brothers and sisters to have a gathering at one of my aunt’s house on Christmas. She was very lively and was heavily involved in church activities. Her cooking was often top notch and most of the family who was available to attend from cousins to her siblings and then even in-laws would come over to eat and socialize. For my part I just stay in a corner and people would often just approach because of course that’s what they were there for.

Well, the last one I attended it was when my mother was getting out of the hospital after getting further treatment for her condition. I didn’t stay as my mother who was waiting in the car probably was advised to avoid gatherings, you know social distancing because of the treatment she had – very much pre-pandemic. While I didn’t speak to anyone other than my aunt that I recall my only purpose was to pick up a plate she fixed for my mother on our way back to our home on that day.

That’s the last one I recall and it’s something that I now realize I took for granted. That aunt I’ve heard this year is beginning to lose it. Her mind just isn’t what it used to be and she is up there in the years. Alas since I’m not always the most sociable, I didn’t always want to be bothered. And there were times she’d lay her sociability very thick and often there was no favorable response from me.

My mother had to tell me some of this is because of my dad’s untimely demise and yes he went to these gatherings but owing to his temperamental nature I’ll bet he didn’t go every year. I get the sense that at some point my dad kept his distance from his family.

I remember we were with another aunt and my dad carried on to the point where she just got out of the car and took a bus home. She got tired of him and I can’t say some of this was his personality or his substance abuse.

Well I took a lot of these things for granted. Here’s hoping you’re cherishing the memories you’re making now! Never take anything for granted as one day it can be taken from you.

I hope you’re having a happy holidays this year.

Lately as we head into the holidays

Sorry to have not been updating as much as usual. I had some posts in the pipeline I had been working on and find myself less than satisfied with them. My birthday had also just passed so I wouldn’t be too upset if anyone left some belated birthday wishes.

Work has largely been uneventful had quite a few nights lately. Something I’m just not happy with, but what can you do? Options with jobs are largely limited right now. Especially at Fresh Foods, but then unfortunately I can have a one track mind about that…

Of course two of the more dominant subjects on this blog recurring was about the Hustler and the Reign of Error. There’s not much I want to write about the Hustler although the last time I saw his fb page I see him in the loving embrace of a woman. That may mean I may not hear much from him unless that falls apart. I could say he’ll find a way to alienate her, however, allow me to be optimistic and hope for the best of the couple. It seems like a mismatch she is older and very attractive she takes care of herself very well. The Hustler aka the Fiend is very grizzled, I would dare say he’s led a hard life then again he’s always looking for drama so his face reflects that.

My mother is doing OK, getting older and may be in line for the vaccine for this bug. I hope she just doesn’t buy into it hook line and sinker, but hey she is also at the most risk for this thing. I’m just glad that I hadn’t brought anything home with me, though for the most part I have been as careful as possible about it. Usually when I come home I spray disinfectant usually in the kitchen since I usually leave some items in the kitchen until my next work day.

I shared a pic with you all on instagram on a night where I was grocery shopping and beginning to see the shortages. It’s always temporary but it was jarring to see at the beginning of this crisis back in March how bare store shelves were. We could talk about dairy, produce, canned goods, meats, toilet tissue, sanitizer, disinfectant….could I go on. I’m just glad when this vaccine goes to those who need it most we can finally get out of this crisis as I just know there are many who are growing tired of it.

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I’m still working on the Climax and sorry to not be as forthcoming on it. My goal as a writer is to be as satisfied with the finished product as possible. Hopefully I get some time off and can finish it soon.

Finally allow me to leave you with the theme from Midnight Cowboy. It’s a movie I’m not that familiar with though I see through synopsis that it has some familiar themes of loneliness or male alienation. I suppose it’s relatable in that case, however, with work that can change. Yes?

September

I had nothing to write earlier this month so it was important for me to share some Earth, Wind & Fire to mark this month and the start of fall. It’s something quite soulful and pleasant. It’s definitely a marked change from most of the music played by the younger generation that I heard for most of Labor Day Weekend. I don’t think these young folks know what good music is.

When they were born at least we heard the music of Tupac, Ice Cube (before he became an actor), Ice T (also before he became an actor), and so many others during the course of the 1990s. Hell a movie was made about Ice Cube as he was at first part of a group named N.W.A. – you’ll have to figure out what that means – that movie was named “Straight Outta Compton”.

Well I’m still working on what I want to write for this month so stay tuned.

I miss the 1990s

I really do, the music was awesome. The movies I enjoyed back then. The TV programs also. I wish I had the social media tools back then facebook, twitter, instagram, and youtube didn’t exist back then. As a matter of fact the internet was this exotic techology I had a vague concept of.

I have to admit it’s funny to watch this Jerry Springer clip from 1995 and the internet was mentioned on TV even then.

What prompted this post. Somehow Skee Lo a one-hit wonder from the 1990s was a reference on an episode of Family Guy. Of course his catchy lyrics was used in a side gag on the show recited rather dryly with a wizard granting his wishes. lol

All the same life seemed so much simpler back then believe it or not. Part of it is that yours truly was a kid with very little responsibilities still going through school. Not yet even with a high school diploma. Not a lot of worries not even socially….

Still I look on those days as fun times with their own ups & downs.

July

I just wanted to update you all. I haven’t heard from the Hustler since February so basically it seems as if he’s finally gotten the hint. Of course often I’ve stated this or even said this might be the last time I say anything else about him only for him to call one more time. A very quiet end if I never hear from him again, but I really have no desire for a real conflict with the man.

I also stated that it’s not really news any longer that he’s attempted after some time to make contact. It’s been established that if he feels the need to dial my number he will. The only way he won’t is I gave him a reason not to, and often since February no answer isn’t really an answer, he tries again. Sometimes I recognize him as some others as a man who is determined not to be ignored.

I noted two months ago that I’ve decided that the subject of him is something I didn’t want to keep banging out and found some other subjects to discuss. Then noted there were some other posts in the pipeline I wanted to share. So this month I plan to share those posts and it rounds up a couple of stories that is time to put to rest.

Nothing much new beyond that however I hope to do my vacation this month. It’s another family reunion and it’s been a few years since Ive been to Georgia where I attended Mission College for my extended undergrad years. This would be very interesting and believe it or not I’m such a delight at these reunions and even more so now that I’m out of school and have my own cash.

(Can you sense the sarcasm? :P)

More to come this month…

How about the Fresh Prince now that we’re in the heat of summer