frustration

frustration

next month i would like to talk more about why i left the job at “the show” two years ago. what i hoped to gain by leaving and indeed what led up to me leaving. in effect next month is marking another milestone, it’s been two years since i finally left.

a few months ago i talked about frustration. it led me to have very unfortunate relationships with some of my coworkers. it led to some conflict with many of the most drama prone individuals – mostly teenaged girls. however with that experience i was able to take it with me to the next point.

when i last met with anthony i thought about some moments that i got caught up in easily and it was out of frustration with my role there. i got into with people even when for the most part i tried hard to ignore any potential issues.

with that being said on my end there was some aloofness and it may have kept me from advancing there. it may have allowed some of the young people to take some of my actions personally. i feel as if many of them thought it was about them when it wasn’t.

in some cases i knew after some incidents that some were trouble so i kept my distance. and it becomes i question everything you do because you won’t speak to me. i could be as silly as they are.

sometimes it gives me the idea that those individuals willingness to make someone a target they had their own miseries that they either brought with them to work or they were miserable at work. the thing is at this point their problems are now their problems and it is their own problem to work through them.

then i consider what has happened the past year and a half. leaving was the best thing i did. who knows where the troublemakers are now. at least now they still arent part of my future.

A one-off foe…

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On tinder one day I ran into a familiar face – someone I used to work with at the movie theater – for whom I have no good feelings. My first instinct was to swipe left. I had no interest in expressing any willingness to have any contact.

I showed a pic of her to a friend of mine who quickly responded that she looked like a b*tch. My response was that I found out about that the hard way. I found out about her disposition at work.

She was about to be the subject of a post last year. One I chose to trash because it just made me angry all over again. And it was less important for me to really give her more attention in my life than she actually deserved. I’ve encountered her on occasion while still at the theater and thankfully she didn’t say anything to me as she used to.

To be honest I did want to write about some workplace drama involving her. Really had little to do with me to be honest although to be sure this is not something a soap opera writer could come up with. Part of this drama involves someone who I found out through sleuthing and observation that she’s a good friend of Candace.

Well thankfully I need not even think or consider this anymore. it’s too far in the past and that moment years ago was only temporary. no one really got what they wanted out of any of it.

In the meanwhile I see the old grouch – who seems to have an ability to connect with people and had been lauded as a people person – is herself on the prowl. Question is whether or not she’s seriously looking or looking for a man to prank on. It’s not for me to answer & I need not find out.

BTW, in those initial posts I gave her a name which is Missy. Missy is a renegade time lord on Doctor Who who is generally considered evil and had become a woman. Not some sex change but definitely a science fiction style gender change. This will explain the picture up top.

bitter

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being bitter is not a good state and i only recently began to realize this. as stated once before dwelling is something i realize i tend to do. it’s very easy to sit around and just think about something you may or may not have had control over.

at times i know that many of those i consider friends or just coworkers realize i wasn’t always a joy to be around. that is one of my regrets as unfortunately it takes me to time to realize the effect i have on people.

all the same,  i recently paid a visit to the neighborhood of the cinema where i formerly worked. nothing really has changed other than the shopping center where my job had been located now has more shopping options. i decided to pay a visit to a target nearby but only to use the bathroom and browse for the first time in a while. actually i only realized i had to use it after getting on the train and then sensing my bladder fill up and then deciding it would be difficult to make it home with this need to use it.

so i got off the train and headed to the target to use the bathroom and then browse the electronics section. it was a form of nostalgia because it’s not often enough that i’m there anymore. but then i came to this realization…

this wasn’t my neighborhood or scene anymore. i don’t work there and it’s not likely i would even as much as attend a show there. although i do have people i know who still work there in a managerial capacity. one of those have over time attempted to have me come to a movie there and i always find an excuse to not go. all the same i began to realize how much i didn’t belong anymore.

the scene has changed in the year and six or so months that i left. probably worse problems after i left or none at all for all i know. i hear there are more problems but who knows what they are and i’m not there so it’s really no longer my axe to grind.

i can still tell the stories at least to those who know who either worked there and express my disdain for those who never knew that place. then again why? what is my purpose when i tell these stories for the umpteenth time?

i don’t know but when you come to the realization that it’s time to move on, that is the best thing to do. i’m finally there and hopefully move forward from there.