you know i should make this an annual tradition. this place could use it because there really aren’t any here.

to start and this is the easiest one to fulfill, find another job. even if it means i return to “fresh foods”. i’m glad to know that there is interest out there from a variety of companies which unfortunately bore no fruit. this includes the “dine-in show”, “finer foods”, and then such companies as target, greyhound or even the container store. perhaps i need to look seriously into finding the right job through a staffing agency.

another resolution is to become part of the world. no i don’t mean lose my virginity, it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. now i don’t have to focus on it and just get myself into position where perhaps i can meet that woman. this means outside of work i have to have other things going for me, and this aspect being part of the world is what i want to focus on. 

that means join that alumni association. this might be how i can find another job outside of the service industry. perhaps taking some classes at the community college to develop new skills so that i can take on a new job. it may also mean this is how i’ll meet new people and perhaps find that special woman i’ve been waiting for.

as far as classes to develop new skills, perhaps compliment that with classes that help me express my creative side. i did flirt with taking improv classes when i first started this blog. i can also flirt with taking art classes perhaps learn how to develop my drawing talents and paint. and another means of meeting people.

also i want to travel more who says i have to go to “mission college” for homecoming and basically do it alone. perhaps find somewhere else to go alone, i fantasize about taking amtrak somewhere as i had done for a family reunion in 2016. i need to think about finding out where i should go next year and make it happen on my own! find somewhere to go and see what is the things to do in those other places.

next year i should worry about my health more. at least for the next decade i expect to still have good health i need to do a better job of maintaining my body. that means a better diet and certainly more stretching and exercises. even at “the show” i found time to do that time to take a brief time out to workout my body. eventually joining a health club would be a great move.

even though i have a pesky friend who seems to believe this is the next step this needs to happen next year, a car. chances are my driving will mostly remain local, but at least i won’t have to continue to drive around in my mother’s car and she gets concerned that i’m out too long. she may still have that habit when i’m in my own vehicle however i can just say i’m going out for a bit and will be back soon. i can go places i wish i could go that i no longer go any more and find other places to visit.

by the way, as far as the being part of the world bit it was something mentioned by the unfortunate formerly virgin male & by anthony. anthony in a fit of rambling decided to hit me on this subject saying “i’m part of the world, you’re living in it big difference”. bad news is that i’m going to go at my own pace not according to what he thinks i need to do. i can’t be part of the world by having sex if i’m having trouble connecting with people and my goal isn’t merely to chase pussy, as the UFVN stated in the comments in a recent post he wants a connection. more than sex that’s what i need also!

new years eve

didn’t go the way i expected it to this year. last year i was out of a job and spend the wee hours of the morning that year at the home of my mother’s coworkers. essentially i was watching a bootleg copy of a movie and kept me entertained until i just decided to watch something else.

this year almost of the same just not out of a job. when i came home from work that evening found that my aunt had decided to drop by. this definitely put a dent in my plan to spend it in front of tv and watching new year’s rockin eve and the countdown in time square.

so when new york brought in the new year i was taking a nap while my aunt was downstairs sleep with a foster baby. my mother at about 11 decided she wanted to go to her coworkers and had me drop her off since i didn’t want to go. then called me in the wee hours of the morning to pick her up which roused me out of bed to drive to that coworkers house. it was another interesting new year though annoying.

now why was my aunt over at our place at such an odd time. well she’s been going through some drama. she has a grandson who unfortunately is battling a mental illness. the baby is actually from another foster child who unfortunately isn’t settled in her life as she’s very young. this only sets up half the story

because of her grandson and the foster daughter really wanting to take an interest in her child she feels as if home isn’t the best place to be right now. so as she maintains temporary guardianship of this baby who isn’t related to her by blood she’s definitely feeling the pressure.

for now the baby is in good hands although the hands of a senior citizen essentially although sooner or later mother should get her baby back. bottom line right now is that family drama that really has little to do with me has only served to impact me in some minor way.

though take me out of the equation, i feel bad for the baby. the baby is the prize for the taking but the person who should have the baby isn’t in a good position to get her back. if only there was a way i could help and less pressure on my aunt.

i also wish i could help my cousin the grandson who is suffering mental illness. he’s had some issues over the years primarily anger, but now i’m hearing schizophrenia. so drama on different fronts is never good.