matchmaking

matchmaking

i’ve been particularly bad with online dating. the way i see it this is something always done with fb with no levels of success. that is i never had the opportunity to connect with the women i wanted to connect with.

for example, perhaps i wanted the true babes so to speak. the beautiful women but either they weren’t interested or attracted to me or i was too late and they’re with someone. and sometimes on my own, i don’t always come off well.

recently i was on the phone with a matchmaker and irony of ironies i met this person via tinder. a dating app used for business purposes that shouldn’t be allowed :P.

anyway after trading messages for about a month i finally connected and we talked for a few minute she set me up a profile. i expressed interest in possibly image coaching which is something i need. and while being added to a database, it’s fine if i can become a client at some point and hope to meet someone who wants what i want.

of course my interest is in having a family i made that clear. my life goals aren’t as clear although i’ve expressed a desire to move up where i am now and perhaps move on to something entrepreneurial – such as real estate.

as for the person she wants to match me up with well she doesn’t live nearby and she’s older at 37, but i’m open. the reason i’m open is because i need to get out there and start meeting these women. unfortunately it’s difficult for me to get out here and meet these women even to just approach them cold.

believe me it’s possible to make a connect as a service worker. there are a good number of women who are seen during the course of a shift and to stay professional as you never know what’s going on in anyone’s head at any time. believe me there have been some odd situations with customers.

either way perhaps if i continue doing this i’ll be comfortable with the idea of dating and hopefully i can find what i’m looking for. perhaps i’ll find this young woman who’ll be the mother of my children and will be an awesome wife. and now it’s possible for me to enter the dating world.

let the matchmaking commence…

recently

Spoke to anthony for the first time in a while. He had some dental issues as of late and wasn’t able to speak without pain so we hadn’t talked to each other in a while.

He had been fired up over this recent election. Said some rather hot rhetoric but we talked about other subjects.

We wound up on my love life. I often like to go to the show by myself. Then he starts launching off into if you don’t start dating they’re going to laugh at you wondering where you been. Seemed hurtful but I tried not to be moved by it.

He worried me about plenty of fish for the first time in years. He was on top of it for a while a few years ago but seeing my lack of interest stopped him. I’m watching the world go by but not living in it according to him.

To which I say with that he’s made a point with that. It seems that’s what happens with me and I have little problem staying in place. At that same time it’s time for me to make some moves.

Time for my own place though I have yet to decide where I should live. Time for my own vehicle although at the moment I may not be doing a whole lot of driving. Either to work or anywhere else aside from a quick trip to the suburbs.

My focus right now is to save my money and apparently get things for myself that I never did get at a different time. Perhaps for those boots I never had been able to buy for myself or that laptop and I can go on and on. Main thing is to be able to support myself whether I stay home or move out on my own. My final goal is hopefully own property only as soon as I finally get a handle on student loans.

Of course the main thing I wish for is a stable relationship. Perhaps then are some of these other goals possible.

Anthony doesn’t know that I’ve been talking to women texting back and forth with one in particular. Also there’s tinder, I’ve been getting some play but no dates as of yet.

I would call it progress as of now although something is going to give at some point. If any woman laughs at my lack of success with dating then I don’t need her anyway.

direction

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i’ve started to realize sometimes i have little idea how to turn something in my direction. especially when speaking with women online on these dating sites.

if i move too fast the convo will go nowhere and i don’t get a date at all. if i don’t make any moves then i still get nothing especially if she won’t make a move. of course aggressive women are a different story altogether.

elise and i have been texting for a while and suggested we do lunch. well at this point we still haven’t gotten together. still working on her but we’re still having a casual convo with our smartphones.

jennifer – the plus sized girl getting her PhD – well i’m very tempted to ask if she dates at all. one problem she doesn’t live anywhere near chicago. i’m also very tempte d to offer to get her up closer to me for a day or so. a graduate student should have time to unwind in another part of the country. 😛

i have to figure out how to get comfortable enough with these women to move somthng forward into my direction. that direction could be anything to a relationship or sex. i  haven’t had many role models and at that many guys my age are doing their thing on dating scene and also as married men with children.

i got to break through because i’m looking for that girl to squeeze and hopefully i can know fatherhood at least before i turn 40.

A one-off foe…

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On tinder one day I ran into a familiar face – someone I used to work with at the movie theater – for whom I have no good feelings. My first instinct was to swipe left. I had no interest in expressing any willingness to have any contact.

I showed a pic of her to a friend of mine who quickly responded that she looked like a b*tch. My response was that I found out about that the hard way. I found out about her disposition at work.

She was about to be the subject of a post last year. One I chose to trash because it just made me angry all over again. And it was less important for me to really give her more attention in my life than she actually deserved. I’ve encountered her on occasion while still at the theater and thankfully she didn’t say anything to me as she used to.

To be honest I did want to write about some workplace drama involving her. Really had little to do with me to be honest although to be sure this is not something a soap opera writer could come up with. Part of this drama involves someone who I found out through sleuthing and observation that she’s a good friend of Candace.

Well thankfully I need not even think or consider this anymore. it’s too far in the past and that moment years ago was only temporary. no one really got what they wanted out of any of it.

In the meanwhile I see the old grouch – who seems to have an ability to connect with people and had been lauded as a people person – is herself on the prowl. Question is whether or not she’s seriously looking or looking for a man to prank on. It’s not for me to answer & I need not find out.

BTW, in those initial posts I gave her a name which is Missy. Missy is a renegade time lord on Doctor Who who is generally considered evil and had become a woman. Not some sex change but definitely a science fiction style gender change. This will explain the picture up top.

facebooking on valentine’s day

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in all the years i used fb to connect with women mainly those who went to school in the same area i had it occurred to me to use it on valentine’s day for one main purpose. three women i have engaged in conversations let out that they had no valentine plans. in one case they noted that they needed to go to library and do some babysitting – she’s definitely a little old for that.

some have social lives and perhaps some may have someone. in other cases no answer really so it possibly is a case of none of your business stranger. bottom line some of the women on fb that i’ve connected with somehow years ago don’t always have something going on. that’s only for reasons they know.

one problem with this, many of these women don’t live anywhere near me. my chances were at school and after one bad experience i wouldn’t take another one. now it’s probably hard and only because these women have far more options.

as for me i can treat this as an exercise. let’s say i have something of an extended conversation with these women online the thing i have to figure out is how to steer it in my direction where she’d be interested in meeting me. perhaps not as a date, certainly as meeting a new friend. then hopefully a lot more than that, but what happens will happen.

perseverence

Perseverance

at times i got caught up with one woman and especially one who proved to be promising only to find myself shut out regardless. it’s a disheartening feeling that keeps me from a relationship because sometimes i have no idea what happened. as stated in another post sometimes it doesn’t take much for a woman to say hell no to a well meaning man.

case in point, for the last two days through this dating app i had been talking to this young lady. very beautiful with a nice smile and educated. we seemed to have conversed very well during our exchange.

this was an app where we’d get matched especially if i hit an icon of interest or like. then what did me in was my response to whether or not we should connect on fb. she said she wasn’t a fan of social networking and preferred to get to know people by either meeting them or talking to them on the phone. well i seemed somewhat interested in that and apparently she “unmatched” me. 😦

setbacks like this are discouraging although it’s easier to move on. i can consider that she may never see my face again although she’s only seen an online depiction of how i look. also if she’s just that quick to judge like this then who needs her.

so with online dating or even in person it still takes some form of perseverance with these women. there are lonely women of varying types who shares some of my interests. the question is how will i connect with them and who will ultimately be her?