You know I often speak so much about the Streak Era or the Reign of Error or perhaps a bit more long running the Planet Hustle period. There is one era I haven’t spoken as much about which is the Apocalypse Era and surely it sounds a lot more dire to you than it actually might be. Well you make the call on that as it’s spelled out for you.

The Apocalypse Era began in January 2017. At that point in time my mother was out of the hospital and while she wasn’t down and out she was complaining how she just didn’t have any energy. So while she was convalescing at home she wasn’t 100% after her recent weeks stay away from home.

My bedroom is next to my mother’s and I heard her discuss the situation of her then job at the time. She had a financial adviser crunch some numbers as she explained the current situation which was her company was increasingly unstable. The company’s longtime owner had passed away and his relatively young cute widow took over as principal owner bringing in consultants. The new owner who actually inherited the company one could say just was in over her head – you know it sort of sounds familiar doesn’t it?

In any case by 2017 her company was shut down and my mother was ultimately out of a job. It wasn’t expected at least on my end, I thought it would survive and sadly it didn’t. Not only that my hope was that even if it was relatively brief my mother would eventually return to work and it wasn’t to be. That’s why from January 2017 forward this is the apocalypse era.

I wrote about this at the time, this is the time Jack V had to step up to the plate. I’ll have to be the one to bring food home and more so now that my mother isn’t making the bacon she used to. It just had to be noted that my mother still buys most of the groceries, however, she’s not out and about as she used to be. Also it’s a bit weird that she’s still buying groceries as yours truly is currently working at a grocery store and had been since 2015.

We went to a Fresh store in the suburbs a month or so ago and spend more than I ever had at the store just over $60 and thats with a Fresh Foods discount it would’ve be closer to $70 without it. Sometimes it’s not that common for my mother to spend over $100 for groceries. However, you do what you have to procure necessities. In my strategy I try not to spend that much though since I do work at a grocery store it seems little by little I always grab necessities just about every shift.

To be honest though I didn’t take this whole Apocalypse Era very seriously. Perhaps it was just a difficult situation to face that my mother is effectively retired and yours truly has to be more responsible for himself. And as we lead into what became the Reign of Error yours truly faces the real challenge of that emerging timeline which is losing his job “unexpectedly” at the Hole.

I was reaching my apex for that time, working on a new role in my dept which hopefully meant a promotion. I don’t want to tell the whole story, but there is a reason I slipped from that apex. The management change in my dept just didn’t help at the time. It’s safe to say I was starting to run into a real brick wall in the form of a new manager. Needless to say just as the Apocalypse Era was in full swing all the sudden there was a stop in my income…

Watching wrestling there is a character I’ve increasingly became enamored of and he refers to himself as anything from the Big Dog to the Tribal Chief to the Head of the Table. In my own ego I don’t just want a seat at the table, I want to take the table with me when I leave. 😛

Still I’m trying to get into that mindset now although we’re over four years into this new era. I don’t want to get into the mindset of this character who tells his cousin how everything he does now reflects onto him. If he loses then the locker room won’t respect the Head of the Table. The Head of the Table is the one who’s bringing in the bread….

I feel as if without the very egoism or narcissism of this character, and in light of the revelations of Planet Hustle this is the mindset I need. Yours truly has to do a better job of handling his own business and especially at the home I still share with my elderly mother. Jack V has to be more responsible for myself and that means just as the Tribal Chief does, I have to do everything to secure the resources that are available.

When the Apocalypse Era started I still largely dwelled on the so-called Streak Era which marked the drive to find a new drive or indeed my time at The Show. Right now I’ve largely dwelled on the Reign of Error and Planet Hustle. Now it’s time to secure my future in the Apocalypse Era….

June 2014: Another rejection…

bags business commerce hanging

For a moment I’m going back to the middle of the streak era. If you don’t know for a period of over two years while still employed at The Show, I had a number of interviews and yet no job offer. This month marks five years since I had one interview where I had someone on the inside helping me and got nothing for it.

This story I told my mother in full recently. My dear old friend Anthony somehow went from a job at Finer Foods to a “Homegoods” store. The month before I called him and was trying to discuss with him another subject only for him to put the spotlight right back onto trying to get me on at “Finer”. Well anyway I showed a lack of will on that issue and Ant just let it go at least for that time.

One month later I get a random text from Anthony asking me if I wanted to work at that “Homegoods” company. I answered affirmatively and texts me to come up to his store that day. I get dressed to go for an interview, he’s worrying about when I’ll get there. I’m sure I made sure to give him an ETA if you will just so he won’t get worried. Knowing him if he’s involved he’ll get worried and I’ll hear about it.

When I get up there Anthony had just finished a shift up there at this store on the northern edge of downtown Chicago. He wanted me to meet with one of the managers up there and needed me to have a resume with an application. For a manager to be available we waited a moment even after Anthony had approached one about me. Eventually Anthony went home for the day as he was there early in the morning.

I waited a minute and one of the managers pulled me aside to a nearby desk in another department and we start talking. I try to sell myself as a man who can carry different hats as I had been doing at The Show. I answer questions as far as availability not really knowing the store’s operations. I also noted that I had been a longtime shopper with that company. He did open the door to questions near the end, however, I felt as if I didn’t get to ask more questions as the mgr cut the interview short.

Once it was over we shook hands and in 20/20 hindsight as I maintained my optimism he seemed to move onto the next thing rather quickly. I stopped him and thanked him again before I left just to be sure he hadn’t forgotten about me. However, I got the feeling perhaps this interview didn’t go as well for me as I thought it had. However, I got a rough timeline as far as when the store will call me about next steps.

Within the next few weeks Ant would send a quick text to let me know I will be hearing from the store. I was like great however just one problem, I never heard from them again. I didn’t know what info Ant was getting from mgmt – especially since I know he will follow-up if he’s really into something – however in the time after I interviewed (actually it was termed a screen) I just heard nothing. Who knows if his bosses just told him something just to get him off their backs.

Either way at least two months after this “screen” Ant texts me again simultaneously asking if I heard from his store and if I hadn’t call them. Of course true to form when in doubt I did nothing. While he showed some persistence with Finer Foods during the course of that year trying to help me find another job elsewhere from The Show he wasn’t as tenacious about this opportunity.

During the course of the remaining Streak Era period I had moved onto other opportunities which at this point were mostly banks and then one interview to be a theater manager at a national chain. I had finally gotten an offer which I accepted at Gotham Bank with whom I interviewed with at different branches over three months. Still even with some knowledge of the interviews I was starting to get Ant still would bring up the topic of Finer’s asking me to call his contact to get up to his then store who couldn’t interview me when I had been up there.

Needless to say I was really able to move on and not rest my laurels on contacting anyone who may or may not have the interest in me that I expected them to have. Thankfully I finally had found a employer away from the movie theater willing to hire me though in the long run it didn’t work out for yours truly.

Fear and doubt

man in blue and brown plaid dress shirt touching his hair

When I talk about change and the future this always creeps up. I could always do the same old, same old as it’s tried and true, however, my long-term goal is six figures as far as income. It means I have to get over my weaknesses fear and doubt.

It could be true for find that woman or trying to become that man. I have to overcome fear & doubt. It’s a very difficult process to start, but necessary. Perhaps I could stay the path of the tried and true path of doing the same thing I been doing especially as far as jobs. But I can’t break out of the rut unless I’m ready to take on the opportunities that will get me closer to my long-term goal.

Believe it or not, a rather strange character I met at my community college told me that the greatest sins are fear & doubt. I tried to rebut with some Christian beliefs that I still didn’t understand, but the sins of fear and doubt is coming back to mind now.

Remember I consider this part of my life as the “apocalypse era” that means I’m really on my own now. My mother isn’t working anymore so I have to mostly provide for myself. The more I can advance at work the more I can do for myself. I can’t do more for myself if the sins of fear & doubt continue to creep up.

Of course since I didn’t get the associate buyer gig a couple of months ago those sins came up for me again. Do I doubt that I could truly move up at my current job? Perhaps I did when I didn’t get it but at least I got feedback as far as what happened. I also know that I could’ve performed better.

Bottom line, I must beat the sins of fear & doubt….



is there such a thing as a rite of passage? i talk about work a lot on this blog and unfortunately not enough of having relationships with women. there have been a precious few over the years that i would consider friend in real life not the online version.

either way a coworker and i just talked about women – well she was a female coworker. either way we talk about what a certain segment of women do to enhance themselves although some of it aren’t that appealing. hair weave, colored eye contacts, or make-up. it was a good conversation there are some women who feel as if they need those things to be beautiful when in reality they don’t.

perhaps to finish my right of passage – either a relationship with a woman or just sex – i have to find out what’s most appealing about me. and not have to add anything fake to broaden my appeal. to be sure fake can include what you wear or your personality just as easily. people out there can spot a fake and quick.

anyway i consider the idea of a right of passage. so let’s talk about, i had to go through some changes to find another job finally. not only that find myself at a fortune 500 company – well better yet two fortune 500 companies. eh screw it, it’s actually three fortune 500 companies. it doesn’t matter i had to find the job that offers most of what i think i’m looking for in a job.

well i want to avoid that italicized her because i realized that it’s as much about me as it it about this idealized woman i’m looking for. i realize i have to go through rejections or indifference before i find out who won’t and isn’t indifferent. not only that i have to show that i’m what she’s looking for.

i suppose when you’re serious about a job or a woman you have to show how you can persist. perhaps the right woman wants you to chase her and as for the job well to find a better one you persist until someone says yes. in fact that’s what happened within the last two years with job hunting.

now it think it’s important to determine the life that i want outside of work. and while i’ve talked about the women i’ve connected with on social media – especially the ones who went to a sister college near mine – perhaps as i’ve found a better job i can find the right lady in my life.