unexpected

last week we had an unexpected visitor, my aunt who is a former military officer visited our house. no call no indication just showed up at our doorstep to surprise my ailing mother. she had a new husband in tow with her.

i was less than thrilled. all i know was when i heard some other voices upstairs it was at WTF. when my mother had a moment she let me know who was in and told me that she doesn’t like these unannounced visits. another aunt has that unfortunate tendency, she just likes to show up whether one likes it or not. although at least to be fair she was also up in chicago this weekend and at least we knew she was in town and to expect her to come over.

as it turns out her new husband is a brother to my aunt laura’s husband. and he’s also talkative with me expressing little interest in interacting he did try to reach out to me.

laura’s husband is a talkative man with a southern drawl. i can say the same for – let’s give her a name – claudine’s new beau. he doesn’t have a southern drawl although he does have a girth like laura’s husband. for some reason laura’s husband has rubbed me the wrong way in a similar way that laura has and it could be said i rub laura the wrong way with some of my behavior.

anyway it was an interesting couple of days. claudine has little problem approaching me and trying to converse with me even if my answers have been very curt towards her. even better most of the time she was there i kept to my zones away from the socializing. she didn’t appear to object although in the past she might make some things clear. for example once i was in my room and she made special emphasis that everyone else was in the living room. in other words i need to be in the living room….

of course her military behavior had rubbed my mother the wrong way – they are close. the newly wed couple had it in their mind to bring my mother to georgia with them when they left saturday morning, my mother wouldn’t agree to it. my mother moved too slow for them so claudine kept dropping hints to get ready and it doesn;t help that my mother still has lingering issues involving that compound fracture.

but those interesting last two days were over rather quickly on saturday morning. they hit the road while i was off to work that morning.

btw, as another aside this is what my aunt tends to do. she assess the situation she’s what i’m doing for example watching tv, “what are you watching?”. i was about to say some cop show, she quickly says “CHiPs”. yup that’s what it is. she’s always been that way i quick a quick half-answer and then she quickly fills in the blanks.

perhaps an example that she’s into making small talk. depending upon the person i don’t share that interest.

timing

aaeaaqaaaaaaaadgaaaajdhlntm2zjzklwfmymqtnda5zi1hzdhjlwuwzjeymdfkmwriywyou know a couple of posts ago i said my mother was pretty good with bad timing and now i see i’m not much better with that. now i have the ability to really do far more than ever especially since my income is going up. i feel ready to go out and actually date.

when my mother’s company failed – she worked at a bank – while she’s on medical leave and then her insurance was cancelled by the new company it opened up a new can of worms. the day it happened i met with a matchmaker who was gathering more info on me for a potential date.

to be honest it didn’t go very well as i’m still wearing an old pair of glasses and i couldn’t find my repair kit. so i had putty on my glasses the matchmaker noticed eventually. i took them off as we had a far more serious conversation than i had expected. she had her own expectations as far as who she wants to match her clients with.

then i had my own frank conversation noting far more liberally than i should’ve my mother’s situation. she noted my decision making ability as far as the jobs i accepted. then i note my belief that i’m in a position to really do dating and hopefully marriage. i was certainly better off now than i had been at “the show” where i was stuck at minimum wage. my fear is that because my mother developed her health issues over 7 months ago it may be expected of me to be her caretaker and this isn’t the role i need now.

then i consider what has happened in the ensuing week since these changes that were certainly out of my mother’s control. to start when she lost her insurance she only found out when the nursing agency called to let her know she has no insurance and they won’t be sending a nurse to our house. essentially this nurse who has been something of a frequent visitor for roughly the past two months administered i.v. fluids and when those were no longer prescribed flushed out the portal my mother had inserted that was eventually removed recently.

while i had closing shifts at work and was looking forward to at least catch a show before reporting in she dropped a bombshell and told me she needed me to take her to the doctor. the original plan had been that she would have her neighbor chauffeur her to the hospital to get her portal flushed but later this neighbor realized she couldn’t do it because of a prior commitment. because my mother knew my schedule it fell to me.

finally the matchmaker offered some coaching unfortunately – as i’m keenly interested due to these recent changes with my mother’s job and her health insurance – i’ve yet to get back to her. it’s possible she may have forgotten and sadly i have to make time for this in order for me to get started.

at the same time if i meet this matchmaker again hopefully i’ll have more to bring to this table. perhaps just get some new glasses since i do have vision insurance then go to a barber and get a hair cut. at least have something to offer and give her something to work with. beyond that have some goals and vision that i can find a woman to get behind. i suppose that means i have to please that woman in someway before she could ever consider pleasing me.

also lately i’ve been looking online for places to rent and not far away from where home is. thing is no where is particularly ideal until you own the house. in the meanwhile as my mother considers retirement for the first time after this ordeal as she still heals from her sudden compound fracture last year i have to really start jump-starting my own life.

updates

on a sunday i had just gotten home from work my aunt paid us a visit shortly before i got off work. just before i got settled my mother wanted me to go put some trash out so i went ahead and did it because she said it was leaking. before i got out of the house i made sure to put the trash in another garbage bag and took it out.

then after i get back in and expected to settle in for the night, my mother bellows from the kitchen with her sister that she wanted me to go back out and get her some more water from the car. talk about terrible timing as she knew i just got back in and she expected me to go back out to the garage.

i don’t know how she became funny about water. i bought two gallon jugs of water, then almost a whole case of bottled water from the car on another day, and then she wanted me to buy more Dasani waters. so on that occassion she wanted me to get the dasani that was still in the car in the garage. that irritated me and let her know i just came from outside, i’m sure she knew i didn’t like that unfortunately her process isn’t on the same time as my own. i hated making two trip like that and unnecessarily. i’ve begun to learn that she’s awful with timing…

speaking of bad timing my mother is on leave from her current job and unfortunately in something of a hostil takeover her company was taken over by another. the processes of this company is different that the one they took over and as a result this company immediately cancelled the insurance plans of their new employees. my mother is scrambling to find out how she’s going to pay for the doctor we’ve been having a nurse come over at first to administer iv fluid now it’s to clean out the portal which is now coming out soon. still just more drama at this point and my mother is still not at the point where she will be able to return to work.

my mother since she returned from the hospital has largely been bereft of energy. the treatment she had to go through in december to further treat her compound fracture had taken its toll. her immune system got depressed with this treatment. taking out bone marrow and replacing some blood plasma without a doubt is a traumatic treatment. plus she really hasn’t been able to eat a lot of food just doesn’t have a healthy appetitte right now although she’s always been something of a nibbler it’s just worse now than ever.

Odds & ends 

I’m writing this post on my iPad in the AM as my aunt and my brother a cleaning crew are engaged in helping out around the house. It’s in a state of upheaval because my aunt is into interior decorating and my brother  is helping to build computer desks the cleaning crew cleans the house. The cleaning crew is necessary because this is what the doctors request over a month ago for my mother who had a brief stay in the hospital, as a result her immune system had been weakened.

At this moment my aunt and mother are upstairs doing some work in the bathroom while my door is closed with me typing this post. So while still laying in bed this morning there’s some drills machines and discussion going on and it’s a little much as my day is really just getting started.

Of course all of this is the result of my mother’s ongoing health issues that began last summer with a diagnosis of a compound fracture in her hip. So she needs some help around the house and probably a lot more than I can offer and it’s certainly needed but the outright upheaval is irritating.

At least as I got home in the evening I’m typing on a new computer desk that had been put together by yours truly. At least it’s not on a more bulky desk that it had been on and certainly with a lot more room and space. So at this moment I shall not complain too much.

In other news….I got my third raise at work recently. Remember that movie Mo’ Money….I’m feeling it now!

My assistant manager noted my attention to detail and suggested perhaps I can be a buyer although I hate to get up that early but eh it’s another job I can learn. I should add where was this attention to detail at the bank as that was one of the things they didn’t mind hitting me on….

I express interest in moving up at least as a supervisor, and then it hits me that an old friend anthony was right. While he often likes to say that if you’re not like them – management at “the show” they won’t look at you to move up, he often says that in the promotion department I was took quiet. I have to express interest and back it up with action. Ask questions about numbers, labor, and operations….

So if I had done this at “the show” with the right people it could’ve happened and perhaps i would be frustrated still as it’s possible that the management team wouldn’t be the right fit. Before getting to that step I’d have gotten myself shot down in the worst way. As stated in another post becoming a supervisor there wouldn’t be worth it as other than slightly higher pay I’d still get no benefits. I get the title and the pay but that’s all!

The reason this is always a positive development was that the management at “the show” didn’t believe in giving raises. I had no benefits and it took almost the last year I was there to purchase benefits outside of work. Which enabled me to get some necessary work done on my teeth.

Either good news for my 2nd anniversary of my time at the current job and over two years out from “the show”.

day after christmas

my mother was discharged from the hospital finally. of course her appointments aren’t likely to change. there is a need to clean the house and of course for a little bit of time she has to wear a mask. her immune system was weakened by her recent treatment although her treatment has seen her fracture finally heal. my mother said something about abnormal cells in that particular bone.

we had to stop by an aunt’s house – one of my dad’s sisters. she has a xmas party almost every year. she wanted to fix a plate for us and we dropped by. because my mother had instructions to stay away from places with a lot of people she stayed in the car while i went in and waited for a plate. either way my mother got a call from her own sister saying that she was at home. we got the plate and headed back home.

my other aunt was on the ready to help us out a bit making some plans for the house in light of my mom’s current situation. she used to come over and help clean the house in the past though these days she lives much further away. the next day after my mother got out of the hospital she helped push up an easy chair upstairs so that there will be a comfortable chair in living room.

also there is some anticipation of other relatives from out of town dropping by in the near future. so we’re attempting to get ready for that also.

the night before on xmas eve after visiting my mother i went out driving after leaving hospital. just drove around chicago a little but and it’s not often that it’s just me and her vehicle at home. admittedly she purchased insurance for me so this i won’t get caught flat footed in case something happened out there. thankfully this is not something that has come to pass.

drove along lake shore drive, then drove into downtown chicago by my job. made a stop at the nearby theater to see what was playing but decided there wasn’t nothing for me to see on that occasion. drove my navy pier and then went further on lake shore drive to the north side. drove along broadway up until i got into wrigleyville and drove past wrigley field.

then began my return home on the south side driving on the magnificent mile and then through the loop, even drove through the show. just circled seeing the shopping center it’s located in. as a matter of fact the last time i drove there it was in one of my mother’s old vehicles this was the first time i drove by in my mom’s new car. then finally stopped by for a polish sausage near maxwell street before returning home.

now we see how everything goes from here. without a doubt the past two weeks have been most interesting…

christmas eve

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on my off day i visited my mother and it appears she wasn’t doing great. she apparently got tired of her hospital food and just stopped eating it. she says that she couldn’t swallow it because she just couldn’t force herself to eat the food.

out of the blue when she called me there was a request for a KFC pot pie. i was a little annoyed with that, but what can i do. i unfortunately didn’t know that she hadn’t eaten anything – that was never communicated and i wanted to just go there without any more stops. then she tells me she hasn’t eaten all day and that she was really starving.

i quickly got upset because of all the steps i had to go through to get to her room. security has to check you in and give you a pass and then of course since i have the car i have to drive park and pay for parking. i objected to going through that again especially paying to park even if she gave me cash for it. so anyway i had a little fit because this didn’t fit in with my plans, but was more upset that she just didn’t want to eat the hospital food.

before i arrived at the hospital she called me a few days ago to let me know tentatively she was supposed to have been released on christmas eve. instead it got pushed back to christmas day because over the past three nights she had developed a low grade fever. now they have to investigate that and it keeps her away from home one more night.

oh yeah, she had some junk food in her hospital room. my brother had someone bring some junk food to her and she hadn’t touched it because they brought her such oversized bag she decided it was too much for her and she didn’t need it.

btw, i write this realizing that i’m expressing my own frustration with this current situation. one that is entirely outside of primarily her control, it’s not entirely her fault that she developed a compound fracture in her hip area. at this moment though this is the timeline i’m living in during the course of this holiday season…

joyeaux anniversaire

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it’s that time of year again celebrating my birthday. now i really want to take stock of what i want to accomplish in this new year.

so many things to accomplish beyond financial goals. yeah i can always take care of money, but now i need to focus on some more personal goals. it’s my hope to explore those goals as i go forward on this blog.

yeah now i’m much closer to 40, but then so what. life isn’t over it’s still moving forward and hopefully i can accomplish some things before i get over that hump. especially in achieving some of my personal and financial goals.

on the other hand…

two years ago at least two days from my birthday i was fired from the bank. i’ve told that story numerous times on this blog. a few days after my birthday recently i drove through the neighborhood where i formerly worked at that bank.

no new changes other than that branch has closed during the ensuing two years. one night i drove to the hospital where my mother is for the time being and see that the branch is about to be turned into a fried fish establishment. a short-order food place which amazes me somewhat.

a pizza place was nearby when i worked there and that place is gone now. the pizza place had been a bank customer anyway. also nearby is a laundromat is still open.

i consider this one place i’ve been. my first new job since leaving “the show” and it wasn’t a rousing success. indeed this definitely wasn’t the assignment of my choice but during a very frustrating period of time they were the ones who hired me.

but as i consider where i am working now which is back in downtown chicago i see that in this old neighborhood there are some changes. change is of course always good, however, the only change is the tenants of the strip mall where the branch was located. and even then in that neighborhood, there’s still not a lot of action that exists in the downtown area.

at this point i’m not upset that i was unceremoniously dumped from this bank. and i’m not too upset that the branch has closed since i left. just a sign that i achieved one goal after that only short-term set back.