“You need a friend”

two boys sitting on bench wearing hats and long sleeved shirts

Before writing this post when someone turns around and says they think or it seemed like “you need a friend”, they may not always be trying to be your friend. It’s really a jarring thing to be told. It’s really jarring to hear someone who wanted to be your friend tell you that they felt so bad for you because they believed you had no friends.

Well this is one reason why I decided to cut ties to The Hustler. He knew what he was trying to do when he decided when we worked at the theater to connect. And it helped that out of being a good person I gave him a ride home and it enabled him to start probing with the question “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” when I first met him. Either way I was weakness rich enough for him to come in and decide that he needed to take me under his wing so that he can take advantage of yours truly more.

I would dare say he had really been one of the more honest people I met. Not long after the ride home and not long after he had started at The Show he was quick with his hand out asking for money. Which if you read the first savings episode he never got because I left him at the theater as he not only expected some cash, he expected a ride home as well. When he called me and left a voicemail I could tell the disappointment in his voice when he realized I was gone. It was definitely an episode of avoidance.

With this said I wanted to juxtapose something and this was a post I wanted to write. The time that Anthony was at The Show overlapped the period with Candice – a young lady of about 19-20 years old who tried very had to connect with yours truly. I originally wrote an episode I considered apocryphal which may have been when I first met her, however, I remember that episode I really don’t recall who that person was.

All the same when she did try to connect at one point it became “I tried to talk to you because it seemed like you needed a friend.” When she tried that I continued my jackass act with her as I kept acting like Stone Cold Steve Austin repeating WHAT? to her. Almost as if I didn’t hear her though in reality when I think about it now she just came on strong for someone who just came out of nowhere expressing interest with her boisterousness.

So Ant’s and Candace’s time at the Show basically overlapped that summer in 2011. While The Hustler remained another two years Candice would be gone by the fall.

Candice had become the one who got away. And because I never really found out her true motives I really don’t know what they are. I just know that my behavior towards her was very unwelcoming and she was the type that for a time would keep trying. She did snap at yours truly once when I wouldn’t respond to her after repeated attempts. I learned later her good buddy was the one-off foe Missy. She may well have for reasons only she knows genuinely liked me and did something about it.

I now find myself wondering if she’d have been the one thing that would have helped me avoid the time-consuming friendship with The Hustler. At this point I just don’t know, but would being accepting of a rather young rambunctious woman who all the sudden wanted to connect would’ve made the difference with an older man who had ulterior motives who also wanted to connect.

What I do know now is that the friendship I had with The Hustler wasn’t real. He did’t give a damn about anything other than what I could do for him. He would create a situation where I would need him or for him to come to the rescue.

And also who knows perhaps one was more honest and compatible than the other. Perhaps one relationship could’ve happened more organically with little or no manipulation. Most importantly perhaps one relationship won’t prove to be costly. For this I will never know.

Boundaries

I saw the Mr. Rogers picture recently A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. I have a greater appreciation for the contributions to children’s entertainment that Fred Rogers made. The show he headlined for many years was truly ground breaking and Rogers set out to do something different from the children’s TV programming of his day that he found horrible.

Tonight’s musical interlude that you will see in the video below. What would you do with the mad that you feel?

The movie itself is really about the journalist who profiled Mr. Rogers for his magazine as much as it was about the famed children’s entertainer. I feel as if Rogers probed the journalist as much as the journalist probed Mr. Rogers. It’s almost as if he knew to flip the script on this supposedly tough journalist who in the picture is portrayed as an investigative journalist who didn’t like doing “puff” pieces like this.

The funny thing is Rogers requested this journalist he knew the types of articles he wrote. He knew this wasn’t a typical assignment for him and by the end of the movie the dynamic was much different. I’m sure the journalist tried to keep it as an assignment and instead perhaps it got much more warmer than that.

Well some aspects of Mr. Rogers’ behavior in this picture gave me some flashbacks. Perhaps I had my own situation with that and in this case while I do believe Rogers is the real deal, the other end of that situation was the real deal in a different sense. He knew what he was doing and why he was doing it. He may have stumbled into it with no advance anything, but once he realized what was up he tried hard to force himself into my own personal space.

I wrote about that individual quite a few times on this blog and have portrayed some of his antics as that of a disappointed father. It didn’t take much for him to make it seem like I failed at whatever tasks that he wanted me to finish. It could be dating, job hunting, on the job although he’s not my boss, or just life in general. There was always a problem for every solution, my solution was often inadequate.

Sometimes you have to realize what someone is trying to do. My mistake was that I wasn’t as forceful in enforcing my boundaries. I allowed him to think some of this actions was OK. He didn’t deserve an opportunity to not only engage in time sucking, but monetary sucking also. He also doesn’t deserve the opportunity to engage in energy sucking.

So for the picture which I hope you will see in the near future these are my thoughts on it. It’s a great picture to go see at the theater to learn a tad bit more about a man who was a part of so many of our childhoods. I have a greater appreciation for him and perhaps someone like him is out there who is genuinely concerned about people and young children.

It doesn’t matter…

circus theme party

No more circus!

No free rent!

I got news for you, I ran into D.B. earlier this month. It was almost a similar story to just about two years ago, except that he got no response from me. Even after his parting shot towards me. Also I’m just glad that my peripheral vision is still good.

barney-3

D.B.

I know that overtime D.B.’s avatar is Barney the Dinosaur (and once a purple teletubbie). Deranged Barney fashions himself as an entertainer and outside of his costume is a guy with some very visible ear piercings. I got another image for you with no offense to those who actually are gay pirates. Although to be fair once I had identified him without actually looking at him I hardly really looked in his direction. Already knew who it was and hoped (in vain as it turned out) that we’d just walk by each other in silence.

It makes you wonder who’s in who’s head. I want to move on he wants to connect evidently. He wants attention and he wants acknowledgement which was what he got years ago when he was my “archnemesis” at The Show. It was one hell of a conflict, and in his own words D.B. finished it. It took me a few years to accept and move on, unfortunately because I can be stubborn (in more ways than one) and he just doesn’t have a clue perhaps in his mind it keeps going.

Oh yeah I said D.B. was an entertainer. Imagine a man dressed in a Barney costume telling jokes at a children’s birthday party involving public aid, stalking, sex, or prison. Often using very vulgar language and utilizing very violent imagery in his act. If you were the parents that hosted this birthday party you’d want a refund, except that deposit was already spent and likely there is no more money to fall back on. Just generally in some ways very incompetent other than an ability to mouth off and say anything that comes to mind. Sooner or later something sticks.

1002708_tinky_winky_teletubbies_promo_159bdabf433089ff49a0090d098451a4

Barney a teletubbie?

When I ran into him, I fall back on what I had to train myself to do in the many years since that conflict. It’s been well over seven years since I’ve worked with that man. And of course it will be five years since my last shift at the job I formerly called $h!tplace. I’ve gotten myself to the place that it doesn’t matter and it’s time to move on. I know who I’m dealing with now and stooping to his level gives him what he wants. Attention, relevance, etc.

Once I ignored him once he “acknowledged” me since he refuses to act like a human. He gave a quick hearty chuckle and then stated in passing as he also kept walking “Weirdo!” And it just goes to show it takes one to know one. Go ahead call a spade a spade, and not recognize that he’s far more off the charts.

Unlike the last time I hardly leaned on anyone. There was only one person I told. Since I’m largely a part from him these days The Hustler likely will never know. It’s the Hustler who kept D.B.’s memory alive thoughtlessly. It was mostly a joke for Ant, but I realize there may be more of a psychological reason it comes up with him.

I may have two more posts with regards to D.B. and it will likely be the last time you will see Barney as Mr. Deranged’s avatar. I want to talk about Anthony’s need to insert our final work conflict in our conversations during the last few months we actually talked. This will lead into what caused D.B. to finally lose his job and what role I played in it.

I’m in no rush to publish it I assure you, however, some of what I hope to present is what I had promised and had yet to deliver.

Update

cellphone cellular communication connection

Not a major update, however, I believe this to be necessary. As I noted recently that my old hustler Anthony who is an older martial artist former co-worker at “The Show” had called me again recently to leave a vague voicemail. He only said that he wanted me to call him back as he had a question for me.

Well I waited a few days to call him back. When committing I had just dialed his number saved to my phone. It rang a few times and then it just went to voicemail, then I hung up without leaving a msg. And surprisingly despite his seeming eagerness to get the communication going again he hasn’t yet called me back.

This has me wondering if this is it? No more calls? I think his past behavior says otherwise. If he feels as if your time is his time and/or he needs something he will give you a call. If he senses you want to pull back it’s in him to come up to you and look for an understanding.

I know that I’ve spent time whining over this during the past year. And as stated this is some uncharted territory for yours truly to sever a friendship that was never really beneficial. He’s benefited with small cash infusions which was something he had been looking for once we started working together at “The Show”. And while he’s given me job leads which never led to offers and unsolicited advice there’s very little benefit for me.

As far as what to do about him. Well it’s been suggested that I have absolutely no contact with him. Those who say so view him as toxic or even a sociopath. Another suggests that I call him when he tried to contact me most recently. And at that if he tries to start something just bail, end the call. Regardless I suppose the communication blackout remains I called and  he never answered.

Even better if he wanted to know why I blew him off this year he blew his first chance when he didn’t call me the night I saw him. And I blew my chance to explain some things to him when I essentially ignored his call for a few days. He also blew his chance again when he never called me back after my own “late” return call.

Then again, as much as I do want to “tell him off” I don’t know if it’ll have any results. Who knows if he’ll just revert back to the behavior I have always found problematic. And it also didn’t help that I allowed him to get away with it. And now that my birthday has passed and I’m in my new year perhaps now is the time to change the rules of engagement. Or more accurately establish rules of no engagement.

BTW, I’ll admit that the heat of the “Reign of error” once I got let go from my job at “The Hole” made it much easier to start cutting contact with “the hustler”. If he came looking for money there was no free cash to hand to him. So once he finally came around calling earlier this year it was easy to recognize that he was looking for something and just not respond. Not that I ever had to tell him, however, he needs not know that I was out of work. And knowing him I’d really hear it from him, especially losing a job that I really liked.

Beside he knew that I liked the job and what does he start doing? “You’ll like this company better”, or “come over here you’d make more money“. I’ll bet he’d start working on me to come somewhere he’d want me to be. For now we probably will never know.

Petty

Concession Counter at Movie Theater

Lately I’ve found myself telling this story to some of my current coworkers. This is one that has still got me riled after leaving three years ago. Basically what I’ve told them is a shorthand version of this very petty story. They all ask the same basic question “did she try make this as if I did something to her” or “was she trying to imply that there was something sexual”.

The answer to those question is, I have no idea. The basic story is that she ran to mgmt because I bumped into her to basically illustrate the pettiness of this story. And the worst part of this story is that the house manager – the no. 2 honcho at the theater – decided to handle this and this situation escalated. To be fair I was already not in a good state when this happened and the house manager has a tendency to handle things indelicately. This story will illustrate this.

This story started when I had to cook more pizzas due to a picky customer who complained that the pizza given to him was burned. So when I came back from behind the stand to hand him his pizza I was looking for him and he had walked off. Just as I was going further into the front suddenly this young lady – we’ll call her Kelly – was in front of me with her elbow in my chest. She said nothing and I just simply kept it moving thinking we both knew what happened.

Allow me to briefly introduce Kelly, physically she had been something to look at however as far as personality she was young and often showed it. She often used her high-pitched and occasionally squeaky voice to complain. She may have on at least two other occasions used that voice on me to complain about something i.e. I wasn’t doing any work. One time she used her voice to mouth off on another male coworker who asked me and another coworker if we’d like to trade with him in his words “I can’t work with her”.

It was some time later that I was about to head to bathroom and walked past customer service in the lobby and h.m. bellowed behind his perch there “Jack, did you bump into Kelly”. when i answered in the affirmative his next question was “then why didn’t you say excuse me?” When he decided to start in on me right in the theater lobby while seated I heard Kelly state “you’re being very rude Jack”. Basically this is how well that went

Jack: OK how about this? i will say excuse me to you when you say excuse me to me. *to Kelly

Kelly: No because you were being very rude *to yours truly

Jack: WHAT DO YOU MEAN RUDE?!?!?! *back to Kelly

H.M.: Walk away Kelly, walk away

As you saw there I went off on her immediately and as she walked to the back I just simply asked h.m.: “YOU’RE TAKING THIS UP? REALLY? YOU’RE TAKING THIS UP?”. All he said was that well he was giving me the opportunity to make it right as there was no disagreement as to what happened. Bad news is that since he got involved in something so petty now it’s taking on a different tone and hence why it got heated real quick. While I tried to remember this is the general manager’s #2 I was talking to i just couldn’t contain how out of line this was.

Now granted she had every right to do what she did, this was clearly uncalled for. In my mind who got hurt and what exactly did I do for her not to be able to handle getting bumped into by yours truly. I have no idea if she wanted to suggest it was harassment or if she just had the need to complain about something which is more likely. And also was h.m. jumping on this because she was his favorite employee or had a serious crush on her that she decided to play off of one more time?

4G08Mmum

superman triggered

Regardless his involvement was a bad trigger and my voice raised to the point where he suggest I watch my tone. Eventually after this he pulled me towards the back where I wasn’t backing down and I had no problem telling him “I don’t understand why she RAN to YOU!” and still he wants me to just say excuse me and i tell him what i told her “I’ll say excuse me to her when she says excuse me to me”. Finally just to calm things down he quickly and loudly told me to put my hands down as I’m being violent. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING VIOLENT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN VIOLENT?” If I was thinking about doing something when he said that I wanted to just give him a weak slap across the face just to illustrate a dumb point.

At this point, the general manager who for whatever reason was in the background walked up and ushered us into the office, finally. While I won’t discuss much about what was said in the office. I will say the GM approached this neutrally without pointing a finger at anyone. He did wonder what my problem was with saying excuse me to kelly. Well here’s the answer I’ll tell you if I was at my wits end with “The Show” and why sometimes fingers get pointed at me for some odd reason then how did a simple bump become a huge issue for the top two managers to address. Also h.m. i always knew as a d!ck towards me so I saw this as another incident and chose a very small one thanks to a very complaining young lady.

Eventually I finally went to the bathroom after being ushered out of the office so that the h.m and g.m. can further discuss the issue. When I got back behind the stand I was called back into the office with Kelly so that the h.m can oversee us say excuse me to each other. And without being specific Kelly had to say something before being cut off by the h.m. The h.m had to repeat a basic lie he wasn’t able to prove during this whole “fight” of sorts claiming “she said excuse me”. Which he only said after I repeatedly  made my statement that “I’ll say excuse me to her, when she says excuse me to me”.

Before this point I had an interview with a bank which I was still waiting on a decision. Regardless this was just one sign that it was time for me to go. After this strange incident I made it a point to stay as far away from Kelly as possible. Was mostly successful until she finally cut her ties with “the show” later that summer.

And one last line with regards to h.m. – “If you had been watching where you were going, you wouldn’t have had an elbow in your chest.” GRRRR!