Climax revisited

Another critical thing that happened this month during the past decade was my dismissal from the Hole. I call that day now and forever the climax of the reign of error. I wrote briefly about one of the after effects of that period which is yet another mgmt change at my former store in my former dept.

I don’t really want to rehash what happened back then although I do have a story to share about that moment. I relate it to what happened during the past few months and note the similarities and differences. However that will be another time.

I have to say that it’s something that I have to take responsibility for as stated here on occasion. I had the wrong boss to play around with and perhaps I was in a situation that perhaps allowed some complacency. It was something that I had taken for granted, however, once a new boss was installed all bets were soon off. It’s like he honed in on something he didn’t like and he pounced immediately. What makes this story laughable was that the situation didn’t work out for him either.

Regardless if anyone wants to think about one cosmic reason for what happened. Why did I “point out”? Why did I have to be late that one last time? Why didn’t mgmt at the Hole from Rog to Morley accept that delay slip from the transit authority? Those are questions that may never be answered. And again this is something I want to cover at a later time.

Long story store aside from those unanswered question the “cosmic” reason for this very disappointing result is what I have been talking about since 2018. I’ve already discussed yet another after effect of this era which was my situationship with the Fiend has changed. And I’ve also written what I consider now the strains within what I would now refer to as a very odd friendship.

I feel as if possibly remaining at the Hole even in a somewhat diminished capacity would likely mean that perhaps I’d continue that situationship. More requests for money or even more negativity. One I started on a new course during that summer he really ramped up his negativity. Even decided to engage in the diversion of trying to get me to leave for his preferred company and “make more money”.

However, if I suffered an unexpected reversal and had no “decent money” coming in why would I help him? Why would I accept a message to call an anonymous person who turned out to be not so anonymous because he merely changed his phone number? I realize a lot of his actions weren’t reasonable overtime and seemed to change with his moods or even his needs. Why did it take me so long to finally do something about it?

Of course I might emphasize there was a strong possibility that I’d have to listen to his negativity about the bull$h!t that happened at the Hole. Perhaps he’d start off positive but knowing his general patterns he’d probably find a way to question me as far as why this happened and how it happened. He’d be a disappointed father who’d determine that I’m unreliable and what happened showed why. Of course this is coming from someone who never had a real plan that hopefully would propel me forward other than chasing other jobs that would provide nothing more than another few cents on top of what I already make anyway.

Well to change the subject slightly with this pandemic and what happened at my current assignment I suffered another reversal. Perhaps it’s only served to put some things into perspective and perhaps to reinforce what I’ve determined since the “climax” which is that a job is nothing more than a means to an end. One can work to earn money however there are other ways, however, while you’re working why not maximize your potential while you’re at a company. If it’s not possible then move on!

What I hoped would work out at the Hole didn’t which I can attribute to my own complacency and the changes occurring in such a short period of time back then. Perhaps that’s a bad habit that I need to really take care of NOW. This was yet a hard lesson I need to take to heart.

The next to last “drop” 2016

I’m still struggling to come up with a final post on the Fiend so I just simply have settled on this story. It will take place just before the episode election day. It was a nice fall day as we’re having currently in Chicago.

Whenever I talk about Anthony the Hustler/Fiend my goal is to tell that story straight. One thing that I striven not to do was to go on the attack against him. Perhaps the various monikers that I have given him including the more frequent ones in addition to a hard-up old man might skirt the line as far as personal attacks. And I also want to note that I strove not to really exaggerate my stories about him. As far as whether or not I was successful in my writings to stay away from attacking I’ll leave up to you all.

The monikers and stories I have written about him are based on my interactions with him. So a lot of what’s written are real life situations. And as stated before you will see a common pattern with what you read and it’s hard to really do anything with a lot of situations. For my purpose it’s just me collecting and analyzing the data.

Around this time in 2016 I answered a call from Anthony. I do recall that he had been calling and texting and for some reason we never did connect. When we finally did I said something sarcastic about not having a sense of urgency in responding or returning his calls. He had to respond to that wondering what’s wrong. In fact it seemed he was making an effort to read me when he did get me on the phone.

As we were talking he seemed to notice my silence as he starts talking frequently asking “What’s wrong”. He noted my lack of sarcasm on my call though usually when I get into that mode he would often get offended and will express it….like a disappointed father. Strangely on this day I was a tad subdued because if he’s somewhat putting on a full court press – not that he was blowing up my phone though he was certainly trying very hard to get in touch with me not like the later episode One Final Drop.

A few times I had to tell him nothing was wrong but if I was silent I was expecting him to get on with the point because I knew there was one. At some point he reached it which he stated “Another reason I wanted to talk to you. I need some money…”

Boo! I stated.

He didn’t understand in this moment that I had objected to his request for money. However I was going to give him some money I just wasn’t at the mode where I got sick of it although this was irritating to me for sure. It’s not like he was doing this frequently but it was enough times that it was on my radar. Up to that point if he’s getting something from me it was a free lunch. Either way to respond to his response to my “Boo” I just simply told him that was my sarcasm that he was waiting for.

We did meet later and he had no money for his lunch. When I asked him if he had anything he just shrugged. Basically I was paying for his lunch and I gave him some as he termed it running around money. He claimed he didn’t have enough money to eat all he got on this day was $100 that I took out of the bank for him. I think I expected him to pay this back later but then there was other money from way back when that I had expected him to pay back.

He infrequently does but sadly there are moments where he might ask to borrow money again. Sometimes money on top of money he already owes. Either way something was wrong with what was going on and I knew it. I mean I already knew it but just not enough will at that time to cut it off.

When we were eating I told him about the episode Petty in full. He would state for the record it shouldn’t have went that far with the House Manager, General Manager and the young woman Kelly. Then at some point he makes reference to me being virgin thinking it was funny stating how I’d fill my girlfriend up covering his smirk with his hand. He knew he was out of line but just didn’t have a filter, he never had a filter. And just like I said that I should’ve left him on the expressway during the summer of 2011 I should’ve got him and left him at that food place we were at and let him figure out where to get his money from.

Either way later on that day he got his money. We take a train back to my house where he left his hoopty. On the way back we were talking about taking martial arts classes he was suggesting something connected with a church that he never gave me info on. Somehow he mentioned that he had been trying to get me to go to his own martial arts school – the one he decided to ask for money where he just simply stated he needs some money – and then I told him ultimately that I didn’t want to go to his martial arts school. He just stopped as he was about to speak probably offended by that but then kept it moving.

I forgot to reference the episode Applications. This was when he stopped at a store near The Show when he saw a job posting looking for workers before the store opens to stock the shelves. He seemed very excited about it and he later utilizing some excuses tried to get me to do his application for that job. Well I didn’t want to do all that work for him on that day.

Then he calls me on the evening of election day upset over the man who won the election. And after I tired of his repetition over who he thought that man who became our president for one-term was. Then we pivoted to other subject including a brief lecture on how I needed to start dating or the women will start laughing at me.

And then we go to the holiday season of 2016. He called me the day before asking if he could bring me with him to look at some cars – basically he was looking for cars via craiglist presumably to replace his hoopty. Anyway he finally paid back some money he borrowed which didn’t include the money I gave him months earlier. He owed me that money for over a year but didn’t consider an extra bill to pay back the “getting around money“.

That little excursion was funny. Our first stop was in the western suburbs and I was talking about a Finer’s store that just opened in the city – and why not talk about it I’m in the industry. Out of the blue he just decided to ask whatever happened with that. I gave him a shorthand story to tell him what happened again and hoped that would be it. Well I’ve been talking about it all year, it escalated to if you come to Finer Foods you’d make more money.

We get to a man’s house in the suburbs and he was talking about a part that Anthony could get for a small sum. Anthony didn’t want to hear that thinking he should’ve fixed it himself if it was that easy. He was complaining about a cracked windshield and then saw holes in the trunk lid where a spoiler used to be. He got on the phone to someone telling them about the car, from that call Ant told the man he has to turn it down because he was actually getting it for someone.

As we left the area Anthony asked “You know that was a fake call right?” I didn’t think much of it honestly but he revealed what he just did out there. Just being very slippery and finding a way to get out of making a purchase. Although it sounded like from what he was picking at he didn’t want the car anyway. I guess in my experience sometimes it isn’t easy to just say no.

So anyway that was really the last time I saw him until one day in the spring next year I saw him at the Hole as he was about to watch a movie at the nearby cinema. And I also had a few odd phone calls with him where he runs down some of my more negative episodes at The Show. I’d say from that meeting on a fall day in 2016 is where our “situationship” began to go downhill.

You know here is the kicker. Blame me for allowing such treatment, however, isn’t it odd that in some way you’re being helpful at the same time as time goes on you’re the one being treated like crap. It’s possible he thought his behavior was OK and as per usual I wasn’t willing to say this wasn’t OK. And knowing him I could tell him and he still won’t budge. And then he has a problem as it turns out when I finally just “drop” him. It’s very odd…

Eliminate

One of my long term goals has been to stay away from porn. I would be alright if I never watched a minute of porn as it’s become very perverse to yours truly.

Except that when I take a break from it sometimes I go right back to it. They say you shouldn’t quit something cold turkey except porn ought to be one thing one should quit in such a fashion. We’re not talking about substance abuse we’re talking about something that’s more psychological.

I shared a quick review of this movie from a few years ago called Don Jon which where the title character has largely the same types of issues. He may get the women he wants even had a girlfriend during the course of the movie but is so unsatisfied with his conquests that he turns to porn. The girlfriend had to catch him not once but twice to break up with him because he lied to her. Regardless she made him wait for sex and he was still unsatisfied.

He admitted later that the porn was him being selfish. He thought more of the fantasies he had from watching porn than the actual desires of the women he was with. It took meeting a widowed MILF to train him away from the fantasy of pornography. He realized in order to satisfy his needs he also had to satisfy the needs of his girlfriend.

I suppose after so many years of watching porn I had no issues with the various scenarios men and women find themselves in whether we’re talking threesomes or orgies. I talked about how I liked watching bondage scenes or women doing anal. I also recognize that if you take some of those things in porn into your own bedroom things could get to the point where one could go too far.

I could fantasize about smacking a woman upsider buttocks one time and watch the jiggle of her skin and muscles (or fat sorry ladies) then I get concerned about whether or not I could turn that off. Jack V wants a lifetime companion and lover not a partner who’s scared of him for not knowing where the line is.

So I realize that I need to stay away from porn. My mind need to be on more realistic relations with women. Yes I do desire a wife in the future and hope that we can do adult things as a couple I just hope that there isn’t a point where I could go too far. That’s my worry now and perhaps that makes me a terrified virgin.

My idealized relationship with a woman has always been romantic. I also know there are women who sneeze at that. Not all women seem to want a romantic man and yes I recognize being romantic might not be best at first meeting. However, porn which seems to have a history of cheesy pick up lines once a scene progresses is not the frame of reference I need when trying to build relationships with women.

What I recognize now is that the porn I see now where there are plenty of scenes with women who are pushed to the point where they might need diapers in the future. Or women who are often roughed up, slapped around or even faces contorted by the aggressive hands of a man is not something that is particularly appealing.

What’s also not very appealing about porn are the very alternative expressions of sexuality that now exist in porn. It’s strayed far away from what I started seeing porn for which is two people doing the nasty. There are things that I find perverse that now is just something I just don’t want to see. I steer far away from that content.

Just have to ask myself why it’s so difficult to move on!

Updates

I went out of town this past weekend a few hours outside of Chicago in another state. Nothing really to report I was about as far in the background as possible. One night I ate so much food that I took to my hotel room from the picnic and from a local eatery that it made me sick. My stomach started growling when trying to sleep and realized my no. 2 had to come out….BAD! Sounds like pee but smells like poo, yuck!

Felt this way all day on Sunday and found out my bus back to chicago was late, sat around in our hotel (me and my mother of course) went to the bus station. They kicked us out because they lock the bus station down until the next station agent arrives in an hour. I got frustrated and upset at the time traveling with a parent who isn’t as mobile as she used to be. I recognized days later yours truly wasn’t being much of a “head of the table”.

We got to another city when we finally did catch a bus ultimately my mother and I had our feel of the bus and the train station was nearby so we took a train back home. All these delays in getting back home meant that I couldn’t be at work in the morning. That’s fine because after all these issues I needed some rest a break and my excuse was my stomach issues.

Almost got hit with a “improper call out” which I have known people to get into trouble for legit sick or not. Usually if you want to use your sick days, there isn’t many questions however I didn’t entirely follow procedure. For one thing after waiting in a bus terminal in the wee hours of the morning once I got on the train I stretched out and took a nap. Too tired to care when I should let my bosses know that Jack V isn’t coming to work to his assigned shift, though that’s a piece of business that’s still necessary. Either way the truth is I did have a stomach issue as opposed to admitting that I had issues getting home in time for my shift. Because unlike an earlier tardy which I’ve yet to share with you, who knows if a national passenger railroad will allow you a delay slip for your job. Both are true regardless but I was using a sick day and I’d be miserable going to work with an upset stomach.

Well thankfully it’s largely subsided since being home. Just been using some over the counter medication and following online advice avoiding certain foods, drinking water and teas, and eating certain foods like bananas. I feel great just won’t allow myself to do what I did this past weekend again.

Travel issues held up my timeline to finally apply for team receiver at the job. I was getting updates and was told by my boss finally that they will post that job. Not clear on the status of the team receiver who has been out for a few months, although he has returned and has taken shifts with another team as of now. Don’t know if he will be leaving our team or he will just transition to a new position on our team. Just don’t know as of now though I know he’s been talking about his physical therapy and how well it’s been going so on the mend it seems.

Hopefully this new journey will get me somewhere. Our dept has been understaffed and when I do the receiving usually I leave the load out because I feel as if it’s necessary to help push things onto the sales floor. It helps me to put things away in our backstock area. We’ve been understaffed and have lost some people during this rather hectic summer. So for now I’m doing the best I can.

As always if there are any further updates will be happy to share in the near future.

And for the record, they know I want to apply have declared my intent. They have been updating me and I’ve been asking all the questions I know of with regards to this situation. Again time will tell.

Revisit: Dawn of the Streak Era

Let me repeat myself from some earlier posts. 2021 represents the whole decade since I’ve met Anthony the hustler. I told a story of the very early days where he tried to borrow some money and his reward for that attempt was no money and in expecting a ride home he got left at the job. He called my phone left a voicemail and I could hear the disappointment in his voice once he realized what happened.

What I didnt anticipate and perhaps I should’ve was that he was just getting started. That didn’t quite send the message that I didn’t want to be bothered. He still came around asking “Why don’t you speak to me?”

Well let’s skip ahead into 2012 and he put me onto this mgmt position at a neighborhood cinema which is a quick train ride away from home. I was cancelling myself out of that opportunity because way before he came to be about it I saw a posting on this company’s social media and decided I wasn’t ready for this. The hustler thought that I was because “You’ve got the experience”.

That particular summer got weird. The conflicts got weirder this was the summer I really regretfully began feuding with Deranged Barney. D.B. was a lot like Anthony once I pulled back he really starting coming around more. Usually just trying to spark a conversation usually it’s just me looking at him and not really responding. I know he’s talking to me but for a time I just showed very little interest in what he was saying. It causes me to wonder if anyone talked to him back then as I had to learn he just wanted attention which is what our feud gave him.

Either way the mgmt job I accepted and this was where yours truly felt this was a good opportunity to leave The Show. If mgmt is what I wanted to do perhaps I should pursue those opportunities when they’re available. One way to look at this is that this was another attempt by the man I know refer to as The Fiend to pull me in more. Trying to pull me away from Henry and his crew was met with mixed results and later on he didn’t mind reminding me of my ties with them.

He did start getting some money out of me making some weird proposition – a return for a small sum of cash. One time I told him to eat it as opposed to paying me back though perhaps the first time he borrowed me he paid that money back. He actually used that money for a hot dog from the concession stand, he got so excited once he was successful. Another lesson learned he never really strayed away from that programming as it turned out. Once he starts begging and is successful it continues.

At this point I was in a holding pattern for the mgmt job. It was a minute from whenever I submitted my resume via email to some point in August where I did finally hear from the theater owner and finally got an interview. I depended upon Anthony for updates as in why is it taking so long. I had allowed myself to be all in on this and it turned out to be a mistake.

I don’t want to go into the story as you’ll see a link to the original post anyway. I will say that my relationships at The Show was starting to take a turn. From the “mean girls of $h!tplace” to even the hustler (as it turns out this was one person I really needed to push away). It was a place I was finding myself at odds with almost everyone and needed this opportunity.

However long story short it didn’t work out. That interview and the resulting disappointment resulted in a period I now refer to as the Streak Era. A period where after as many as 15 interviews it only resulted in one job offer after over two years. What I hoped would be a home run only was the first at bat in the long run.

Please check out the original post here.

Also I’m getting to work on that shoot post regarding “Crisis” which actually could fit within the context of this revisit.

What’s better?

I’ve been thinking about this for a while and my current journey has been really making smarter money decisions. My journey included associating with a man who’s own hot air is to show he’s got something going but only exposing that’s he broke and needy.

I had a discussion with a coworker one evening and while he might agree with me that it’s best not to be broke. He might turn around and say don’t allow that to be your selling point because the woman might only see $$$ signs. Hard to argue that and I also know broke men seem to be able to get action with women.

It’s probably something to find a woman who doesn’t care if you have 5 pennies or $5 million. That’s the one worth her weight in gold I’m sure, good character hopefully. I suppose having money in the bank in my own view is an asset, however, is it possible to still miss the point.

I would imagine most women wouldn’t want a broke man. Or we could go even further there is a segment of women who might nitpick over the type of job a man has. For example I’ve explored that some women might treat a blue collar man differently than a white collar man. Some women might not take very serious a grocery store clerk for example even if said clerk was generally a good dependable man while a white collar man has the issues of say a J.R. Ewing.

Dallas – JR Slaps Sue Ellen and on second thought they deserve each other don’t they?

So I suppose when I presented the idea of whether or not it’s better to have money to keep a woman he comes up with if a woman really loves you, money isn’t necessary except a roof over your head and electricity. Hmmm, this complicates things doesn’t it? I suppose as a man I still have to create a home for her to stay.

My mother and I one day were talking about relatives – I have an uncle who seems to come up short often and she mentioned one of my first cousins who though says she has money issues is still able to pay off a luxury car she has purchased. I don’t have a great relationship with either and more so my cousin than my uncle whom I’ve rarely heard from over the years. However I just had to say something and it’s based on my own personal experience.

I can speak to the gifts of my cousin, she’s sociable and I don’t associate money issues with sociable. With this said I know very little about her finances so there isn’t much for me to criticize. Then again my viewpoint is always about abundance you don’t need to have small cash infusions in order to take care of your basic needs such as rent, food, etc. And as far as I know my cousin hasn’t come around for any at least from my mother and what she did get from my mother was basic advice like if you want to save some money put it in a bank far from home for example. If you live in the burbs find a bank in the city and open an account.

Well, my comments sort of backfired as my mother might make some real world comments like who will you leave your money for or you got money but are you enjoying life. I still would say I’d rather have my nest egg while I’m able to use it than be utterly broke. And in my personal experience there is exactly a broke person who definitely isn’t happy about life although as a gift he can be sociable. He could use that to solve his issues with money although it’s getting much later in the game for him at this point.

However, many questions to unpack. Is money necessary for a mate? Does money help you find a mate? Does money allow you to enjoy life?

I could also ask if money brings happiness, though there is a flipside here. Having an abundance of money probably isn’t the key to happiness, however, when it comes to relationships something there has to bring happiness right?

Calamity & reconnect

Let me start that as we look at this month three years ago, I began hearing from the Hustler/Fiend again. I noted a number of times that he called me four times during the course of the previous month. And after my birthday in December I began seeing him on my facebook feeds on occasion. Especially once when announcing that I had seen Black Panther.

He called three times in February from a number I didn’t recognize. I realized this only after his third try that this anonymous individual decided to text “Call me!” Who is this asking me to call them? Well I sent such a text and got an answer I gave him a martial arts related nickname and he decided to use that to confirm who it was. Of course this was during that time where I was recovering from the “Reign of Error” and just decided I didn’t want to talk at all. He would call one more time after a week.

I get a number of calls from numbers I don’t recognize and usually don’t answer so I didn’t realize until this text message that he had been trying to call me. Perhaps he didn’t realize I didn’t have his other number, perhaps he thought like most people I’d just answer, only he really knows his thought process. What I do know is that he’s done something like this before in the past.

Just about four years earlier he texted me from a number I didn’t recognize letting me know that one of the managers from The Show had been let go. He wouldn’t respond to a text message requesting identity until I messaged him on facebook and he confirmed. Again probably didn’t recognize that I didn’t have whatever new number he had.

Regardless in my head the thought process was he probably had moved on. He got his last score, and perhaps if he did call it’s not to genuinely talk to yours truly but because he needed something. While I have no idea why he wanted to re-establish contact my belief is that he wanted me to call him because he needed something. It was almost similar to how the episode “One Final Drop” started off with a quick text “Call me! 911!” which indicated a sense of urgency more for him than me. Instinct told me this was about a small cash infusion something he can’t help but ask for on occasion while trying to tell yours truly what to do.

Again for me to avoid calling him once he started coming around the context of that time in 2018 was that yours truly was unemployed. I saved up over $10K since about year two or three at the theater only to have to cut that in just about half because of the somewhat unexpected event of a job loss. Therefore no income had been coming in on my end and thus if he expected a small cash infusion well in those circumstance why would I help him. However, there isn’t a satisfactory answer to this question as I never sought a resolution. At the same time a cat & mouse game had commenced he was the cat and yours truly was the mouse.

Meanwhile it was time to hit the Fresh Foods beat as it was my desire to return especially to the Hole. It wasn’t to be and I wound up going to another store from the Hole. We’ll revisit those episodes where I interviewed to return to my old team at the Hole in the next post.

Also later this month I wanted to share an episode where the Hustler had effectively used yours truly to fill out his own job applications. Well for those of you who have been following this, you shouldn’t be too surprised.

Seven reasons why people avoid you

I think I may have some of these traits and I’ve had to disassociate with those who did have these traits. I’ve talked about a few of such people on this blog over time. You might be able to guess at one person in particular who displays most of those traits.

Consider this your election night escape…

2017

The irony of 2017 is that during the course of that year before reaching the climax of the Reign of Error, I had done a series of posts over the weirdness at The Show. While writing those posts I was experiencing my own weirdness at the Hole and it started during the summer a very short time compared to the last few years at The Show.

As 2020 is considered a year of great calamity for many around the world due to the pandemic of course and in this country we have unrest going on – by the way something’s going down in Louisville and other places in America as always I hope for the best.

Anyway this post is titled 2017 and for yours truly personally this year proved to be a year of calamity. It was a personal calamity more than anything, but it started off great and then it just turned 180 degrees in a territory where I never expected to be. I’m specifically talking about the job at the time, I just didn’t expect that I’d be out the door.

Well that wasn’t the only drama of that time and I mean a boss who was just very by the book and very unwilling to offer a break. Just looking for things to complain about. Of course this is something I’m continuing to hash out as time goes forward so I won’t dwell on this too much.

I also consider Planet Hustle. This proved to be the last year I really spoke to Anthony the hustler. It seems from roughly the holiday season through the last time I really spoke to him that summer we just weren’t on the same page. Perhaps we never were as he had his own ideas on what was necessary for me and I had my own. He’s willing to blow off my own ideas while bullheadedly promoting his own even if I show no interest.

Regardless consider this pattern, during the holiday season in ’16 – this was when my mother was in the hospital undergoing treatment – he pays me back some money he borrowed. This is when he decided to reopen the case of what happened with Jack V being employed with Finer Foods. And then here’s how the pattern come full circle, by the time of the episode One final drop he decided he needed to borrow more money.

The main crux of that situation is that as time went on he began to let me know what he really thinks of me. And as time went on I had to think about some of the statements he’s made towards me. Does one have to associate with someone who seem to have such a low opinion of them?

Worse still I call it a situationship not a friendship because as we’ve explored on this blog there was a reason he wanted to connect. He wanted help or support, but then turns around and says your life is out of order. He’s even more out of order than he realizes. Yes I’m talking about the requests for money on occasion. Good riddance.

As I’ve explored the situationship and the Reign of Error at the Hole were two main events that came to a head that year. One was years in the making the other was in a period of months. One situation I’ve learned to laugh at, the other I’m still processing the data compiled over nine years.

However, once the Reign of Error came to a head it helped make easier my decision to blackout communications with the Hustler. I’ve stated that he’d make me feel worse about the situation I found myself in. I get the idea that he’d never let me hear the end of it and will turn it into you should’ve listened to me about Finer Foods. It’ll be about his solution…

And once he’d start calling again – perhaps he needed something – during a time where I was unemployed helped me keep my resolve. Although even when I did go back to work, I still never went out of my way to contact him again.

So we’ll go back to the Reign of Error in the next post. Hopefully tomorrow if not soon as there were some revelations I hinted at earlier this summer that’s necessary to address. It’s not something I spoke about in the many times I spoke about the situation with /goofball.

Finally, I used climax for a reason. The day I got led by /goofball to store mgmt to be “separated” from Fresh Foods was a very dramatic moment and it was wrong in my mind. However, I used that term to say it wasn’t the end of my story and the reason I could laugh now is because whatever happened – oh to be the fly on a wall – it was really the beginning of the end of /goofball story. When I arrive at my last day at the Hole the title of that post will be Climax.

Now that I’ve dealt with 2017, perhaps 2020 isn’t this year of calamity for myself after all.

wedding season – revisited

I just had to rewrite this post from just about three years ago. My brother got married at this point 20 years ago. It’s amazing how time flies.

A few things I do remember from that period of time. I may have mentioned this in another post, however, during this time my cousin Natalie and the rest of the family were at one of my aunt’s house after my brother’s wedding and they got to talking about her husband Nate’s aspirations.

At the time I didn’t know what kind of job Nate had however I do know he was working for a major company. Somehow I do recall that Nate at some point noted he wanted to do something entrepreneurial – I think a record store came up. Nat had a problem with this and stated how she’d be less of a woman if she accepted that.

I suppose Natalie liked being a wife to a corporate hot shot. And the aunt who hosted us told Nat “Don’t say that” trying to discourage such talk. It’s amazing how I had such a long memory about that and have never forgot that statement many years later. Who knows what Nate’s current aspirations are now.

They didn’t have children at the time and weeks after my brother’s wedding it became known in the family that Nat & Nate were expecting their first born child. They now have two children and it’s amazing to note that both have grown up and their first born daughter is in college. Time flies for sure.

As for my brother, he decided to make a change in his life at that point. For which I’m happy for him, though I noted in that long ago post that back then we were at odds. My mother had noted over the years that in temperament I’ve turned more and more into my dad – minus the alcohol. My brother I feel may well have inherited my dads’ unfortunate disappointment with life. If my dad wanted to move forward he gets sidetracked and it held him up from achieving his goals.

My brother has a lot more going for him in 20 years since he graduated from college and got married. He’s in a great position currently, however, he still isn’t very happy with his life. That’s very sad as I should be the one who’s very unsatisfied with my life. However, I’d like to get into his position as far as income anyway.

As far as our relationship, as you may have already guessed it’s not great and the blame could go on both sides. However, I know that my brother and I were connected on facebook at one point and he deleted me at some point. Used my other facebook to get him back and he rejected that request. So he’s still being funny, but as I got older I recognize that it’s time to do better as far as that relationship.

I’ve got some reason to these days! Don’t forget to revisit the post that I rewrote so that I can go backwards in time this evening.