the friend request

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funny thing happened recently one of my aunts on my mother’s side friend requested me. this aunt we’ll call laura i have something of an odd relationship with.

to start aside from our familial relationship we’re not particularly close. i’m a person who lives in an urban area laura prefers to live in the almost exurbs. while so far i’ve yet to rent out a piece of real estate she has especially a few mcmansions. she seems to have a history of living above her means.

all the same over the years she has tried somewhat  hard to reach out to me. when i went away to the liberal arts school she e-mailed me. express interest in me visiting her house to watch some football of which thanks to many seasons of disappointing bears football caused me to never follow-up on that. it also doesn’t help that from where i were it takes time to get anywhere she may reside.

so this event makes it easy to tell this story. i find it somewhat amusing, however, i can see where it doesn’t come off very well for me. i may expand further on this later but just illustrates how i can be and the reasoning.

to start when i first went away to school i was at a family reunion meeting held a good distance away from the college. one of my other aunts had picked me up to take me up there and it was nothing more than a free meal to me. so i went up and saw and heard some of the planning behind the family reunion. of all people my grandmother who isn’t usually keen on family reunions was there getting involved.

near the end before it was about time for me to go back to campus laura called on me a simple “hey jack” and then asked if there was anything i’d like to say. now it’s hard for me to say i was obnoxious or just evasive to speaking to a crowd, but my response was a quick no after thinking about it for a moment. she jolted back as if i had struck her with lightning.

every now and then i like to tell that story. it’s just a story to me, but when you think about it what was a i trying to prove. likely it’s not a whole lot just something funny to me that happened after realizing someone’s response to my behavior. a behavior which to them they just didn’t expect. laura likely genuinely thought i would have some remarks especially for the free meal i just got.

so later on we had our family reunion in georgia and one morning our family down there paid us a visit in our hotel. laura was in our room and if i recall correctly i was likely still a bit sleepy. for whatever reason she started in on me quick trying to get a conversation with me. i kept giving a basic answer.

for example she wanted to know what my roommate’s name was i just gave her a first name, “what’s his late name?” then i gave his last name, but basically while i may generally be introverted others who were observing the situation realized how uninterested i was in conversing. it seemed for a moment laura didn’t quite get the hint. my mother noted years later that she saw how uninterested in talking i had been and saw her sister just switch gears quick after realizing that this convo wasn’t progressing.

just to show how tenacious laura was other than trying to get a last name for my roommate she saw me take out a mint and was quick to ask me for one which i complied silently. she’s often very quick to just do that as later when we toured a landmark in atlanta that day she did it to me again when i bought some candy from a store before going back to the exurbs.

there are further stories of this that will be expanded upon later. laura and i haven’t really interacted with each other very well over the years. and i recognize sometimes that people who try very hard don’t get very far with me. bad news is that if i find myself feeding into some idea or some unfortunate behavior all i can do is add the necessary ammunition.

to be honest she wasn’t the first family member whom i haven’t done well with over the years to connect with me on fb. another one of my aunts came to chicago, in a story to be told later to help out around the house and she has been great. she friend requested me not only once but twice as she has two accounts. i kept them unanswered for a number of years. the shitty part about this is that when going to school in georgia she has helped me out the most back then.

also one of my cousins have friend requested me. i hadn’t done very well with her she had to call me out once because i did something that was out of line and i can say that yes i did. on the other hand it caused some distance on my end and she accepted it although she has her moments where she tries to be the bigger person and i’m not receiving it. anyway she’s another one whose friend request will for the time being remain unanswered.

as for laura for the time being i won’t answer her friend request.

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Odds & ends 

I’m writing this post on my iPad in the AM as my aunt and my brother a cleaning crew are engaged in helping out around the house. It’s in a state of upheaval because my aunt is into interior decorating and my brother  is helping to build computer desks the cleaning crew cleans the house. The cleaning crew is necessary because this is what the doctors request over a month ago for my mother who had a brief stay in the hospital, as a result her immune system had been weakened.

At this moment my aunt and mother are upstairs doing some work in the bathroom while my door is closed with me typing this post. So while still laying in bed this morning there’s some drills machines and discussion going on and it’s a little much as my day is really just getting started.

Of course all of this is the result of my mother’s ongoing health issues that began last summer with a diagnosis of a compound fracture in her hip. So she needs some help around the house and probably a lot more than I can offer and it’s certainly needed but the outright upheaval is irritating.

At least as I got home in the evening I’m typing on a new computer desk that had been put together by yours truly. At least it’s not on a more bulky desk that it had been on and certainly with a lot more room and space. So at this moment I shall not complain too much.

In other news….I got my third raise at work recently. Remember that movie Mo’ Money….I’m feeling it now!

My assistant manager noted my attention to detail and suggested perhaps I can be a buyer although I hate to get up that early but eh it’s another job I can learn. I should add where was this attention to detail at the bank as that was one of the things they didn’t mind hitting me on….

I express interest in moving up at least as a supervisor, and then it hits me that an old friend anthony was right. While he often likes to say that if you’re not like them – management at “the show” they won’t look at you to move up, he often says that in the promotion department I was took quiet. I have to express interest and back it up with action. Ask questions about numbers, labor, and operations….

So if I had done this at “the show” with the right people it could’ve happened and perhaps i would be frustrated still as it’s possible that the management team wouldn’t be the right fit. Before getting to that step I’d have gotten myself shot down in the worst way. As stated in another post becoming a supervisor there wouldn’t be worth it as other than slightly higher pay I’d still get no benefits. I get the title and the pay but that’s all!

The reason this is always a positive development was that the management at “the show” didn’t believe in giving raises. I had no benefits and it took almost the last year I was there to purchase benefits outside of work. Which enabled me to get some necessary work done on my teeth.

Either good news for my 2nd anniversary of my time at the current job and over two years out from “the show”.

day after christmas

my mother was discharged from the hospital finally. of course her appointments aren’t likely to change. there is a need to clean the house and of course for a little bit of time she has to wear a mask. her immune system was weakened by her recent treatment although her treatment has seen her fracture finally heal. my mother said something about abnormal cells in that particular bone.

we had to stop by an aunt’s house – one of my dad’s sisters. she has a xmas party almost every year. she wanted to fix a plate for us and we dropped by. because my mother had instructions to stay away from places with a lot of people she stayed in the car while i went in and waited for a plate. either way my mother got a call from her own sister saying that she was at home. we got the plate and headed back home.

my other aunt was on the ready to help us out a bit making some plans for the house in light of my mom’s current situation. she used to come over and help clean the house in the past though these days she lives much further away. the next day after my mother got out of the hospital she helped push up an easy chair upstairs so that there will be a comfortable chair in living room.

also there is some anticipation of other relatives from out of town dropping by in the near future. so we’re attempting to get ready for that also.

the night before on xmas eve after visiting my mother i went out driving after leaving hospital. just drove around chicago a little but and it’s not often that it’s just me and her vehicle at home. admittedly she purchased insurance for me so this i won’t get caught flat footed in case something happened out there. thankfully this is not something that has come to pass.

drove along lake shore drive, then drove into downtown chicago by my job. made a stop at the nearby theater to see what was playing but decided there wasn’t nothing for me to see on that occasion. drove my navy pier and then went further on lake shore drive to the north side. drove along broadway up until i got into wrigleyville and drove past wrigley field.

then began my return home on the south side driving on the magnificent mile and then through the loop, even drove through the show. just circled seeing the shopping center it’s located in. as a matter of fact the last time i drove there it was in one of my mother’s old vehicles this was the first time i drove by in my mom’s new car. then finally stopped by for a polish sausage near maxwell street before returning home.

now we see how everything goes from here. without a doubt the past two weeks have been most interesting…

alone…

the first night since my mother returned for her extended stay for further treatment in the hospital for her compound fracture was spend basically driving around. i went to a nearby outpost of my store where i saw my boss unexpectedly. he’s filling in for his counterpart there as i heard unforeseen circumstances seen that individual stepping aside temporarily.

he introduced me to one of the assistant dept. managers there who likes employees who are versatile as i am. that felt great though for me i consider myself at times understated.

i wanted to buy a live xmas tree but didn’t see a small one that i wanted to buy. it helped me not buy anything but as i visit my mother in the hospital i’m sure there will be other opportunities. will have to find that live tree elsewhere.

my mother told me before dropping her off at the hospital that my brother is coming to town for only the third time since her surgery over the summer. and then one of her sisters from out of town is coming also. both i dread but at the same time it’s expected that they may not have to come to our place therefore i don’t have to play host.

in the meanwhile back at home, i reclaimed some of the reusable grocery bags that my mother decided will become storage bags. i replace them with plastic garrett’s popcorn bags that i have accumulated over time. and now i have a reliable collection of small reusable bags to draw upon.

also i’ve been doing some cleanup, the medical professionals that my mother is working with expect a somewhat clean house when she returns. i had started before she finally checked in will continue to do the job when i’m able to schedule permitting.  i’m in the process of doing some clean-up in her room and in the upstairs bathroom. the bathroom would need a good cleaning at least.

btw, why do i have that video up there? a track from 2016’s Batman vs. Superman movie. it fits my mood right now, but then when i talk about “the show” it on occassion fits my mood with them also. funny part is that well i was long gone when i left and the movie premiered in fact i was at the “new show” when that film was released. either way it fits my mood right now as for different reasons i’m at home alone again!