Psychology

silver newton s balance ball

I’ve been thinking about doing a series of “psychology” posts. I feel as if I’m waging an odd war of psychological warfare with someone who’s proven to be difficult to shake loose. Indeed some may consider that person a vampire. But then they would be the start and I have a number of posts with regards to their psychology.

This means I may have to rehash some odd episodes explored here. And yes it can include yours truly always. Don’t know if I will do any research, but then remember some past events just causes me to realize how it could’ve been handled differently. Also I have to realize the psychology of others involved mainly.

So this means I may revisit “Petty“, I may revisit “Missy“, I may revisit Anthony, and I could go on and on. It’ll be a while before I’m ready for the first post, for now time to get started on analyzing some unfortunate events of the past. Then I can start creating some solutions and I say some because well many of these situations aren’t ongoing so there’s that.

What prompts this well I’ve taken psychology in high school and at community college. Someone might say regardless of taking those courses I missed something somewhere. In school I spent very little time evaluating people or reading them. I like to think I’m better at it now, however, when situations go south (whether me or something external) I’m always caught off guard. Anyway that’s the motivation.

Resolutions

accuracy afternoon alarm clock analogue

Happy New Year

I’m sorry that I wasn’t fast enough to create a resolutions post for 2019. Then again I can look at it this way, the resolutions left on the table towards the end of the year are what I can work on now. At least I got the main one for 2018, however, perhaps I should’ve gotten more done last year also.

Feeling No Love

you know i should make this an annual tradition. this place could use it because there really aren’t any here.

to start and this is the easiest one to fulfill, find another job. even if it means i return to “fresh foods”. i’m glad to know that there is interest out there from a variety of companies which unfortunately bore no fruit. this includes the “dine-in show”, “finer foods”, and then such companies as target, greyhound or even the container store. perhaps i need to look seriously into finding the right job through a staffing agency.

another resolution is to become part of the world. no i don’t mean lose my virginity, it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. now i don’t have to focus on it and just get myself into position where perhaps i can meet that woman. this means outside of work i have to have other…

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resolutions

you know i should make this an annual tradition. this place could use it because there really aren’t any here.

to start and this is the easiest one to fulfill, find another job. even if it means i return to “fresh foods”. i’m glad to know that there is interest out there from a variety of companies which unfortunately bore no fruit. this includes the “dine-in show”, “finer foods”, and then such companies as target, greyhound or even the container store. perhaps i need to look seriously into finding the right job through a staffing agency.

another resolution is to become part of the world. no i don’t mean lose my virginity, it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. now i don’t have to focus on it and just get myself into position where perhaps i can meet that woman. this means outside of work i have to have other things going for me, and this aspect being part of the world is what i want to focus on. 

that means join that alumni association. this might be how i can find another job outside of the service industry. perhaps taking some classes at the community college to develop new skills so that i can take on a new job. it may also mean this is how i’ll meet new people and perhaps find that special woman i’ve been waiting for.

as far as classes to develop new skills, perhaps compliment that with classes that help me express my creative side. i did flirt with taking improv classes when i first started this blog. i can also flirt with taking art classes perhaps learn how to develop my drawing talents and paint. and another means of meeting people.

also i want to travel more who says i have to go to “mission college” for homecoming and basically do it alone. perhaps find somewhere else to go alone, i fantasize about taking amtrak somewhere as i had done for a family reunion in 2016. i need to think about finding out where i should go next year and make it happen on my own! find somewhere to go and see what is the things to do in those other places.

next year i should worry about my health more. at least for the next decade i expect to still have good health i need to do a better job of maintaining my body. that means a better diet and certainly more stretching and exercises. even at “the show” i found time to do that time to take a brief time out to workout my body. eventually joining a health club would be a great move.

even though i have a pesky friend who seems to believe this is the next step this needs to happen next year, a car. chances are my driving will mostly remain local, but at least i won’t have to continue to drive around in my mother’s car and she gets concerned that i’m out too long. she may still have that habit when i’m in my own vehicle however i can just say i’m going out for a bit and will be back soon. i can go places i wish i could go that i no longer go any more and find other places to visit.

by the way, as far as the being part of the world bit it was something mentioned by the unfortunate formerly virgin male & by anthony. anthony in a fit of rambling decided to hit me on this subject saying “i’m part of the world, you’re living in it big difference”. bad news is that i’m going to go at my own pace not according to what he thinks i need to do. i can’t be part of the world by having sex if i’m having trouble connecting with people and my goal isn’t merely to chase pussy, as the UFVN stated in the comments in a recent post he wants a connection. more than sex that’s what i need also!

Isolation

I think this describes my situation:

It’s especially difficult to find a partner if you don’t like to go out much.

Redditor ShakerJew explained that they think they’ll stay a virgin for a while:

“I have no clue how to advance relationships beyond friendship … I’ve never even held anyone’s hand… I’m not ugly at all either. When I see people in a relationship I just think ‘Wow that must be nice but that is not for me, I can’t have that. I must deprive myself of happiness.’

User another-redditor3 echoed this sentiment:

“Not much of a story really.

I’m 30, unemployed, live at home with my parents and have nothing that even resembles a social life. I talk to friends online once every few weeks or so, but it’s been 18+ months since I’ve seen any of them in person.

As for interests/activities, the few things I’m interested in are solo activities, or male dominated.”

If you’re not interested in checking out new places to meet potential dates, that’s cool. Focus on your own fulfilling hobbies.

Now I got to think, what kinds of hobbies can I get into where I can meet people. Perhaps I can join a college alumni group who will on occasion support the sister “Hillman College”. Perhaps I can take some art classes or something like that. There is something I can get into that will enable me to find this fabled companion or at least meet new friends.

stagnation

dont-stagnate-accelerate-85787495as i head into the new years this can always become a new fear. i’m happy with where i am currently in my job i’m making money – some may have noted that i have gained weight. there is always room for me to grow where i am or elsewhere.

my focus has often been regarding work. if i progress at work the more money i can make and the more things i can do that i missed out on for many years.

i often fear stagnating like i had at “the show”. it seems this blog will always throw around a few stories about my time there and some of my frustrations with my role there and the young coworkers – most female – who decided to cause drama. perhaps now is the time to insure that i’m able to truly take care of myself at work. connect with the right people and insure that i cover my bases at work.

are there times i still fail at that, of course. there have been some situations that come up at my current job. sometimes in situations you have to find a way to take yourself out of it. and if this person has the tendency to see your armor crack, then try as hard as you may to show little emotion.

not saying that’s easy, but somehow you can’t show how much you’re affected by something. let people cause drama by themselves and not find yourself a part of it. for a long time i failed at that and hopefully i can in the future not make the same mistakes.

for a while my focus on this blog was work. i believe work is important, but life is also. work isn’t my whole life. there are hobbies and travel and things like that to engage in. i would like to share them with you. hopefully in the new year i can explore relationships with women in life. perhaps to start i should interact more with the women at work. with this in mind i have to find out who they are.

and besides i’ve often done that at “the show” often finding out who they were when it was too late. and sometimes the damage was done. after that i just walk away and show no emotion and not respond at all.

next step is to stop being a worrier. besides i’m at a point where i need not be frustrated. things are working for me right now and as long as they do and i can adjust no frustration on my end.

for now the best is yet to come.

 

resolution

new-years-resolution

over time this blog just as easily has become about some of the temperamental people at a place i used to call sh*tplace. all the people with whom i conflicted with should simply just all blend in together with no real standouts.

to be sure, though my own temperament has at times only exacerbated some of these conflicts. at the same time some of them had the pyschology that they did and only made worse by their willingness to simply respond. or in my case i had to respond when i didn’t have to.

all the same, this year needs to be a lot more positive. i say this a lot, but this year my resolution is to put all that behind me as that’s where it all belongs. as i’ve stated in an earlier post those individuals aren’t part of my future.

as of now i’m in the next stage of creating my future. the path towards it will prove to be unnerving and exciting, however, it’s necessary.

if forcing myself to let go allows me to do better then that is what needs to be done. if anyone has a problem with me for whatever reason they’ve created in their minds then that’s on them. i can no longer allow them to affect me in some adverse way.

happy new years.