as i head into the new years this can always become a new fear. i’m happy with where i am currently in my job i’m making money – some may have noted that i have gained weight. there is always room for me to grow where i am or elsewhere.
my focus has often been regarding work. if i progress at work the more money i can make and the more things i can do that i missed out on for many years.
i often fear stagnating like i had at “the show”. it seems this blog will always throw around a few stories about my time there and some of my frustrations with my role there and the young coworkers – most female – who decided to cause drama. perhaps now is the time to insure that i’m able to truly take care of myself at work. connect with the right people and insure that i cover my bases at work.
are there times i still fail at that, of course. there have been some situations that come up at my current job. sometimes in situations you have to find a way to take yourself out of it. and if this person has the tendency to see your armor crack, then try as hard as you may to show little emotion.
not saying that’s easy, but somehow you can’t show how much you’re affected by something. let people cause drama by themselves and not find yourself a part of it. for a long time i failed at that and hopefully i can in the future not make the same mistakes.
for a while my focus on this blog was work. i believe work is important, but life is also. work isn’t my whole life. there are hobbies and travel and things like that to engage in. i would like to share them with you. hopefully in the new year i can explore relationships with women in life. perhaps to start i should interact more with the women at work. with this in mind i have to find out who they are.
and besides i’ve often done that at “the show” often finding out who they were when it was too late. and sometimes the damage was done. after that i just walk away and show no emotion and not respond at all.
next step is to stop being a worrier. besides i’m at a point where i need not be frustrated. things are working for me right now and as long as they do and i can adjust no frustration on my end.
for now the best is yet to come.
I’ve been on the wrong side of a crush on occasion and knowing someone else is going through that is cringe worthy. I could tell you nothing but horror stories about my crushes. Especially the ones where ultimately it either blew up in my face or we just weren’t going to get along anyway.
Tonight one of my coworkers noted that interaction between two lesbians at the job one a manager the other just a worker. That sounds like all forms of trouble on its face. It’s clear whether or not the manager is single she isn’t going for it and the worker is keeping on with her.
So there is going to be another talk about respect issues here. We’ve already have it and over a variety of issues whether or not I know exactly what they are. In this case I can see this one potentially escalating. Let’s hope not though.
In this case I have no plans on paying much attention to it. I’m choosing to stay out of it whether it’s two women, two men, or a man & woman. It’s something I need to stay far away from and it could get ugly very quick.
In the meanwhile any unrequited crushes on any woman at work or otherwise will have to remain in my mind. Any potential affair will just remain stuck in my very sensual imagination.
a week or so ago i learned one of my supervisors was let go after an investigation. he had something of a mouth but pretty sure he knew when to cool off as necessary. either way whatever happened with those who reported him anonymously they probably saw what i saw and went with it.
as a result we had to go through what they call harassment training. my current job takes respect issues seriously. more so than some of my previous jobs even though if you mess up enough times the management may decide to take action though hopefully not in the way some managers i’ve worked with in the past might have. so far my management has been outstanding.
with that being said this was my excuse to talk about becky. i hadn’t really talked about her in a while and for quite some time it seemed she was on the verge of quitting. it may still happen but it seemed she wasn’t so happy there. our store’s sales hasn’t been very good in a while and we lost some hours. another good thing about this job is that there is some form of transparency you know when hour cuts are going to happen. if it happened at other jobs it’s like i’d be sleep as in had no clue until it happened.
either way one morning becky and i worked – now this could be a respect issue although it was a bit of a joke – she wanted me to look at her shoes. jokingly i said at work “you want me to look at your feet?” then we talk about work shoes the ones she had to replace because they started to look busted. also the yearly allowance we get to order more. and the fact that some of our coworkers choose to wear non-slip covers instead of taking advantage of the allowance.
with this being said, if only becky knew what i was thinking upstairs. one of the respect issues – or more accurate harassment – is outright leering or checking out. it doesn’t take much for anyone to feel uncomfortable and believe me there are a few situations in my short work experience where i felt this way. i’m learning now to be much wiser about it and also if it’s being directed towards me by anyone i don’t have to take it.