family reunion

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the reunion was something of an awkward affair actually there have been quite a few awkward ones over time. i briefly told about how my aunt laura was trying to talk to me early one morning – and while i was still half-sleep – she just decided she had to go in on me quickly. it turned into more of an ordeal than she really and a bit before she finally recognized i didn’t really want to talk.

in fact on two occasions she had little problem asking me for a mint or a piece of candy. she just had the need to ask just to get something out of me, i complied silently just to keep it moving. otherwise she finally recognized that i wasn’t feeling it.

incidentally there are other situations with her i had where her awkwardness is just apparent. for example in her interest in trying to talk to me she has little problem getting close to my personal space, especially since i’m trying not to show any interest in talking to her. some people have the need to force the issue especially if someone doesn’t want to be bothered.

since i had attended “mission college” there were some people bragging and without many details i let on that i didn’t do that well. to which one of my uncles just outright blurted out to other family and they start saying we got to fix that. of course upon hearing the action almost always never happens.

my uncle richard i have a bit more of a close relationship with and i express interest in joining his frat. though often he seems busy so perhaps he’s not that accessible and also i had to remember that he has his own family too. he definitely is big on we got to make sure you do better in college.

for the most part i wasn’t particularly sociable during this reunion other than with those i’m most comfortable. you still have natalie and her husband nathan – who was very quick to force a handshake and a quick “thank you for stopping by” after we found ourselves at their mcmansion in the suburbs.

then soon it was time to return home to chicago and then figure out how i’ll go back to “mission”. first my mother soon will go on a cruise and after that sets her expectations somewhat randomly and that means she expects me to go back to school to finally attain my associate’s degree. soon i will tell that story.

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past tense: the ride back to “mission”

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right now i’m in the mood to reminisce. tonight jack v discusses again the period of time after his first semester away at “mission college”. let me assure you the above image doesn’t entirely reflect how i view the situation.

the summer after i went away to school at “mission college” there was a family reunion. i briefly told one story about attending a family reunion planning meeting hosted by my aunt laura. this meeting was where she decided to see if i wanted to speak where i briskly said no and she jumped in her seat as if i struck her with lightning.

my aunt nadine had picked me up at “mission” and then brought me further out to a local restaurant for this meeting. after the meeting nadine went home and sends me back to “mission” with cousin natalie. had no choice in this instance as i didn’t drive myself needed to go back to campus and my aunt does a lot of driving so perhaps she was tired.

unfortunately with natalie & her husband nathan this ride wasn’t going to be a quiet one. natalie wants to have a conversation and i likely wasn’t that interested. probably was tired myself as it’s a long ride to where the restaurant was. as often as she could both her and her husband forced themselves to laugh at whatever weak witticism i seemed to have. i tried to be funny, but honestly i was in an uncomfortable situation and was unwilling to adjust to it.

she tried hard to get me to talk about the women i met from “hillman college”. if you remember natalie tried to get me to talk about essentially “nicole” – who i actually met during this first semester away from home – almost two years or so later. when i return after a year-and-one-half absence i attempted to make some moves and it didn’t work out for me – may tell that unfortunate story one day.

as for this particular period of time with my roommate introducing me to women at “hillman” i was a long way from establishing anything remotely resembling friendly relations with the ladies. unfortunately my cousin wants know about my romantic life it was her primary expectation. however if she was starting to decide if i was going more and more anti-social perhaps she was wondering if i wasn’t able to form a bond with women as i was unwilling to bond with her as a cousin.

here’s the thing, natalie likely knows that i was close to her younger sister. she tried to really stir something up in me with regards to her. at first mention, her husband responded.

nat: tasha is coming to town later this week.

nathan: oh yeah?

nat: jack?

yours truly: yeah?

nat: tasha is coming to town later this week.

yours truly: i heard

you know to explain i can’t remember if my aunt or mother told me she was in town or i just heard this for the first time from natalie when her husband responds. the fact that she brings this up is trying to change the dynamics of the conversation hence when her husband answers she merely calls my name and repeats what she just said.

in a few short minutes we arrive at my dorm. nathan wants to know – likely being nice – if he should drop me off in the back. i tell him he dropped me off in the right place….in haste. get out and acknowledge because they were expecting me to wave and they drive back to the burbs. meanwhile after that adventure near the end of the term back to reality and finish my semester as it turns out not so strongly.

perhaps another time, i’ll discuss the family reunion. there will certainly be more to say about this particular summer. especially before eventually talking about my senior year of high school.

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my mother years ago went off on me because of the episode with natalie. she has a basic understanding of my relationship history. that very brief conversation with nat gave her a quick idea – i haven’t had much success. so on this occasion she was quick to let me know that.

now i mention this episode with family to note that recently i went out of town to a family reunion. mostly my excuse is that this is a vacation away from home and i get to see another part of the country and in this case it’s not a regular locale that we would go anyway. to be sure this was the first one i been to in years.

and while not being entirely close to my extended family some of my bad habits emerged. i don’t like to be hugged, the talkative ones trying to get my attention, the need to take pics with my need to stay out of the shot, then everyone has their own expectations especially with a mother who isn’t that mobile anymore, etc. i don’t always enjoy these expectations of my other family members.

my mother told me that her first cousin tried to talk to me and i never said anything. which i explained to my mother that if she said anything to me i never received it. in fact i was not aware that she said anything to me. so needless to say my mother said something quick about it knowing about some of my behaviors. although over the years i’ve attempted to explain them.

hell, i told this story once about a coworker who told too much about her personal life. she talked about sex with some dude and this same dude combing her hair. this was not directed at me because we never had that type of relationship it was towards a coworker and i heard it. told this coworker that this was “too much sh*t”.

regardless my way of letting her know i didn’t want to be bothered involved blowing a rape whistle at her. she didn’t always talk to me because i was often a d*ck to her. but i blew my whistle whenever she asked me what time it was. the second time she just shot me this look and stormed off.

on a few occasions with family i make the conversation so one-sided on the other person’s end that well they move on to another person. this doesn’t always work the ones who insist on breaking through will continue. the ones who don’t have the interest or energy will say something quick and stay back. sometimes they just complain to my mother later and usually she’ll tell me.

i’ve learned to stay to myself during family reunions and that often doesn’t stop everyone. they try to figure out what my issue is or stay back which means they’ll force themselves on me and do more than say hello. and i often recoil and give a one-word answer.

regardless for all the good that has happened for me the past year – especially with the job that has given me paid time off which i used for this reunion. then this and my negative reactions to people i’m likely to see only once a year if that.

btw, it has been a few years since i attended a reunion. the last one could be a few years ago when i was at “the show” and here in chicago. i had to work that weekend so i never did any of the events other than a quick trip to a local museum. it was a weird year as it was during that time i worked with candace.

funny part about this was – or not funny if you prefer – my mother wanted me to be part of a group picture. she just worried me into getting into the photograph. well i did but my uncle the self-appointed photographer decided he needed to see me in pic. well i never accepted that and wasted everyone’s time by keeping myself hidden until they allowed me to step away so they could take a group pic. hell everyone even parted in the middle to expose me and i just stepped behind everyone. i was truly a piece of work back then.