Question

There’s a young lady on facebook, we might trade messages every once in a while on facebook or instagram. A month or so ago she shared a post on her “story” which caused me to ask if this was her situation. Basically the story stated that one shouldn’t “miss their blessing assuming I’m in a relationship”.

There are pics of her online with a gent usually wearing the same attire which is indicative of her status. I mean unless they’re together or otherwise that other party swings a different direction there is no reason for two “buddies” to be wearing the same attire or even the same t-shirt.

Well she confirmed her status and stated that she only reposted something from another instagrammer – which unfortunately I can’t find – that she follows. In this case my mind begins to run and so far I haven’t followed up other than this blog post.

Asking this question seems to be a dicey subject for yours truly. A few women were cagey or coy in my experience. For example with Nicole she was coy about her status until my attempts with her fell so far apart there was no chance of recovery no matter what I did. She had reached the end of her patience with me.

Others might outright say it’s none of your business though in one case it was apparent from her facebook account that she was indeed with someone and had children to prove it. However this young lady confirmed being just about 40 that she’s single and the guy she’s been snapping shots with isn’t her boyfriend.

When faced with such knowledge and a woman’s willingness to answer one way or another after an inquiry. And with a positive answer to such an inquiry – ex. she stated she’s single especially. It causes me to just say hmm in the unlikely event that something might come of this which is a long distance kind of thing how do I take it there without causing her to back off. That’s sort of my history also.

If you want to know something about her, one connection is that she went to Hillman College. We didn’t really connect until long after she graduated. Surely I poked her on facebook and she seemed open to connecting online which is interesting. I wish we met while we were still in school at least although in her case I was just getting started and she was about to finish.

I inquired about her denomination during Lent and she answered. I’m not religious, however, when it comes to Lent the ash on forehead was often thought of as a Catholic thing, hint she’s not Catholic. Of course yours truly has to state I’m just not that religious and rarely attend church.

I may have made reference to her age, but as stated my mind is running on this. If nothing else perhaps this could be a friendship of sorts. Perhaps I learn about her and she learns about me.

We’ll leave it there.

April

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We’re going to go through the month of April and usually I might give you the flavor of the month from years past. This time we’re going to stay a tad current and I’ll have to admit I didn’t do the post expected last month. We’ll do some of those posts this month.

Well in this state a stay-at-home order was extended for the rest of the month. Which is certainly a bummer because I’m ready for the world to get back to some semblance of normal. This bug going around is really something and I know people are freaked out about it. I find myself taking my own precautions from it, however, I get the feeling we’re going to be wondering what were we worried about in the first place.

I noted last month that if I had been still working in the cinema business (certainly depending upon where I was on the “food chain”) I’d be sitting at home. I could hardly afford that right now and I’m glad to be working in an industry that is considered essential. Yeah it would be cool to ride this pandemic out at home, but like I said I don’t think I could afford that. I just have to do what I need to do and be very careful on public transportation and out in the world.

I’m still making some plans for my YouTube channel. I’m at 32 subs as I write this which was a very high growth curve from the start of March where I only had four subscribers. What can I do to cause further growth? I already announced some plans, but then what about beyond that?

I will be celebrating two years in my “reboot” with Fresh Foods this month. I had been rehired this time two years ago, and I know this seems to be a recurring theme now is the time to start making some plans. I have an eye on a couple of situations at the moment one of which includes my former boss – the one who hired me to the company years ago – with his new assignment as a store mgr. I saw that he posted for a new dept mgr at his store (which is the same dept where I am now and it was the dept he hired me for five years ago). I’m also keeping an eye on my former dept at the Hole, as some unexpected changes had occurred there since I’ve returned to the company.

A young lady that I’ve connected with over the years from Hillman College last month sent me a pic of herself. She has a knack for chopping off her lush hair and dying her hair exotic colors. When she asks about her next color I always suggest her natural color, and that was the pic she sent me her latest chop with her natural hair color. She gave me that and I think she likes me *says the teenaged boy who knew nothing about girls*….

As always I hope you all are safe and be well. Let’s get through this month, I feel this will be a difficult month with all the measures put in place by the different levels of governments in America. They say we might see a peak this month, the main thing is I can’t wait to see the point where we’ve flattened the curve on this bug.

Holidays

Well time to take a break until after the New Year, however, there are a couple things I want to note.

First I deleted my facebook dating profile. Either I won’t play with it anymore or just start fresh and retool. It’s like my forays in such apps as Happn, Tinder or even Bumble. At least with those other sites I’ve had some success though no dates, I probably didn’t have the same patience with facebook. I will try again ultimately.

Finally, I heard from an old “fiend” on Christmas unexpectedly.

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Just to recap, the last phone call was in January and any other attempts at contact was on facebook in February and of all places on instagram in August. I had to change my settings on facebook so that he won’t feel as free to communicate with me there. I outright blocked him on instagram to really discourage contact.

Of course that still leaves my phone which he would still call and text. It’s just him finding a door and trying to open it and continue the “situationship”. It’s evident he wants to pull me back to “Planet Hustle” no matter how long I avoid his phone calls and texts or even social media.

Actually, I know he knows how to get that theatre as I’ve met up with him there twice in the years that I’ve known him.

Anyway, in 2020 we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Merry Christmas!

Happy New Years!

Happy Holidays to all!

Instagram

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend. I just wanted to share my instagram. Right now I’m just sharing a mostly memes and perhaps a few shots around Chicago. I hope that if you’re interested you would connect.

Not much going on with me this weekend other than work.

Not so important update

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Here is the update I had been sitting on with regards to the Hustler that isn’t necessarily breaking news. Hey I figured the way that he was sooner or later I’d hear from the man. Guess what I did earlier this month. Even got a screencap of it.

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What was this for, well I had a video on my personal instagram page of myself going through northwest Indiana on the train. Hadn’t really heard from him since he wrote a comment to my facebook page with regards to a status about my interview earlier this year. He hadn’t tried to call me since January and all the sudden he’s expressing interest in this year’s jaunt.

Funny part about this is I believed he was rarely on instagram. The only post he has up is of himself in a martial arts uniform posing seemingly aggressively. The only comments were from one of those grandmothers whom he would say does the nastiest sexual act and expresses a very pleasing purr. Of course I call this showing off of these older women granny porn though nothing sexual about the pics he wants to express the mentally images….

Anyway the last real jaunt that I shared a number of posts on instagram was in 2016 going to the west coast. Our relationship was very different back then but he largely expressed no interest. He even called on our way to a national park and it was seemingly a quick call and I do remember I kept telling him that his call might drop because I was riding around in the “sticks”. Otherwise that trip he showed very little interest in, especially on instagram.

Well because I’ve stayed out of contact with him here he comes. Probably not that interested but if he knows that I purposefully staying out of contact with him or avoiding any contact with him it becomes a magnet for him. So for his trouble I just blocked him on instagram. Don’t know if that sent a message to him, however, for now it’s my signal to him that times have changed. At least for me, it’s for the better!

 

Honesty Box feet nsfw

I’m sharing this because this particular young lady is no longer with us, she died sometime last year. I had wanted to admit this to her although we weren’t exactly corresponding on a regular basis other than a happy birthday here and there. When you think about it now she seemed quite cool about a guy liking her feet.

If I had went for it although it was years after the fact I can only wonder now. And even then if I had tried years ago then this would be a long distance relationship. Hell I even suggested in the honesty box of all places that I’d like to go with her to the interesting places she liked to go out.

My activities in honesty box assuming she realized they were all from the same man – yours truly – she admitted that “I’m really flattered, but this is both unorthodox and cowardly”. Yeah, it was.

Anyway here is an example of an exchange from years ago back when honesty box was a thing. And may this beautiful and pleasant young woman rest in peace.

This young woman seemed to be like whatever. I got away with talking about her feet. If I had just come out would it only have meant trouble for me. Pic below may not be safe for work because someone could be uncomfortable with the display of feet

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you said,
if i may be nasty for a sec i just got to admit that i want to press my mouth on that nice foot of yours :/

they said,
My feet! Really? Whatever floats your boat.

you said,
sorry i’m attracted to feet. and your present pic well that looks so tender. lol

they said,
I take care of my feet. For that same reason.

you said,
i’m starting to feel like i’m cybering with you. it’s starting to go down that path. lol

they said,
I am not even sure what “cybering” means. Your level of comfort my increase if you tell me who you are.

you said,
do you care about my level of comfort? lol

you said,
ok more serious question comfort about what? or just in general.

they said,
Its just in general.I always want people to be comfortable and express themselves honestly. Even though the honest box is suppose to encourage honesty. It doesn’t were are talking but nothing is being said. But its not that serious and you don’t have to do anything that you aren’t comfortable doing.

And you know she was probably right. Am glad that she realized everyone didn’t have the same comfort level. However, what if I had been more straight up.

We’ll never know.

Part of the world

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Last year I did a post called MGTOW which stands for men going their own way. I had begun to follow some of the MGTOW youtube channel although my favorite one got taken down ultimately. It opened my eyes to the idea at least that a man should go his own way, become a better man, and that he doesn’t need a woman to do so.

Now this is a male virgin blog and I suppose if society has their way I should be shunned or pitied to have never made a woman’s acquaintance before in life. Everything I do so far in my life is empty without either having had sex at a bare minimum or having a married with children at any point in my life. Its the one thing that many have used to define me especially if I wind up making an ignorant comment about women, sex or relationships.

I’ve had people decide it was OK to lecture me about how I need to go out and become part of the world. For example join a dating website so that I could get laid next week or I need to hurry up get out there into the dating world before I turn 40 or the women will laugh at me. Just trying to cause a sense of urgency on my part to connect with a member of the opposite sex before “its too late”. And I find myself wondering how empty is his life where he feels as if he needs to say anything about it?

Let’s be honest about something as far as being part of the world for some it’s defined by having companionship as a bare minimum. To be fair, I haven’t really been part of the world. I missed out on that time in my youth where I should’ve met that woman. I spent a number of years in college – longer than I should’ve honestly – and I never really involved myself in social events. While I might have desired some of the women I met at school outside of social events or on facebook I feel as if I had more drama going on in without involving myself in relationships. I had to pay for school, avoid any academic issues, and then of course finally graduate.

In order to meet that special someone I have to go out into the world and interact. I often failed to do that and often preferred to keep to myself. Of course there were times trouble came to me, and often without me knowing how to handle it. It caused me further keep to myself and as a result those women who would’ve been interested in me found other men to engage with. It also didn’t help that after a number of missteps it took me time to finally finish my undergrad.

Then I arrived at “The Show” and aside from a few social moments, I never allowed myself an opportunity to truly connect with the young women or older women that I had worked with. Though what I can say about that period was it was the first period I had found gainful employment and had a few more dollars in my pocket as a result. Still I felt at that point that I couldn’t afford to do the many things that will allow me to become part of the world.

Sometimes I do feel as if I’m behind in my life. While many are out dating and meeting people or they’re married and building their families, I’m still stuck in teenage mode. I still have to figure out things that should’ve been worked out years ago.

Think about this, I graduated from college later. Found a regular job and eventually a full-time job later. And any other accomplishments I will ultimately meet them later as well. Perhaps realizing my potential as a man (and more for myself as I’m beginning to recognize) will have to come later as well.

I’m behind because I’ve never been part of the world, time to find ways to become part of the world.

One thing off bucket list

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I have finally joined the National Alumni Association of “Mission College”. At the very least I get some job opportunities, attend college football and basketball games for free, vote in alumni elections, business to business referrals, etc. I hope that this will include some social opportunities for me and become far more active in my community than I have been so far.

What I mainly expect is to connect with the women of “Hillman College” but I need to establish myself first. And of course not be so thirsty to be with one, main thing is to make friends with them and see what develops from there. Hopefully I won’t run into a real snooty one who doesn’t appreciate where I am now. So I can knock one thing off my bucket list.

Stress

Well a minor update and I hoped I wouldn’t have to mention Anthony’s name again (or I suppose I really don’t have to). Anyway he called me again recently. Funny thing was I was talking to my mother in her bedroom and heard my watch rattling on my dresser and later looked on my phone guess who it was.

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So four times in one month to start, then a text msg four mos later, then another phone call two mos after that and then finally a voicemail four mos after that. I also ran into him unexpectedly at work as a security guard at a local home improvement store. One month after the voicemail he calls.

I won’t change my  rules of no engagement, however, it’s apparent that if he wants to call you he will call you. Ignoring him be damned, it’s not enough discouragement for him. I could block him on my cell and as stated I plan to block him on social media (though so far he hasn’t used facebook or instagram to reach out. He seems to have abandoned twitter altogether. He’s not a very adept user of technology other than his usage of a smartphone and his history has often been of great persistence. Especially in the fatherly sense although that’s the problem it enables his sense of domination.

Either way nothing has changed, he needs to remain one less “stress” off my plate. I was almost getting upset of his lack of recognition of my non-interest in talking to him again. But I turned around and said no sense in getting upset about it. He’s just being him, self-centered as ever.

Adventures in online dating

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It’s addicting to swipe right or left on either Tinder or Bumble and of course as happens with both sites what you hope to find you really don’t. As it happens you might want to make something happen, but it’s also up to them to make something happen. Someone else could capture their attention and they go ghost. Another thing could happen is what you’re looking for (in my case love) is not exactly what they’re looking for.

I’ve ran into women who are looking for some business relationship (and no it’s not outright sexual). I matched with one young lady who was looking for a photographer. So still one really has to discern who might get them close to love or sex.

As it happens when it comes to women in real life or online I’ve made some mistakes with online dating. I’ve learned you can make a move too quickly asking questions about jobs or getting in touch via social networking. In another case I’ve learned you can make a mistake bragging about your future career goals – ex. a young woman who seems successful herself unmatched me once I expressed the goal of “running the place” (referring to my current job).

Anyway, there was one recent exchange with a 19-yr-old girl. She’s beautiful with a nice set of lips and I’ve been dreaming of snagging a 19-yr-old girl then the old man kicks in. A thirty-something making out with a teenaged girl, I don’t know how I feel about that. I can still say I kissed a girl for the first time, however, I’ll probably be seen as a creepy old man taking advantage of a very young woman.

However, I’ll admit that the conversation with her is interesting. She seems quite sarcastic or sassy, but strangely enough she’s giving me rope to hang myself so to speak. She could’ve unmatched me and at times I give her ammunition to just end the exchange. Somehow she hasn’t and has remained available on Tinder. I send a msg she would respond. Not sure how to play this, but with the age difference I have to avoid directly turning this into a relationship. Perhaps she’s not ready for what I’m looking for, and I may have to keep this friendly more than anything. It would be cool to meet her though.

Finally a funny thing happened on Bumble this month. A young lady from a nearby suburb matched with me and asked me about my perfect day. I replied with being with someone I truly care about and doing some of the things I enjoy doing. Then noted what kinds of foods I like to eat, I noted Italian food and then she notes she likes Italian food. Then in a first with my experience with online dating shares a pic of her boobs.

Those knockers with nice areolas were a bit scrunched and hanging over what appeared to be a Mickey Mouse shirt. I feel as if she jumped the gun as far as showing off her assets, and when it happened I acted like a huge nerd. Regardless I can say some woman on a dating app has deemed me worthy enough of showing her goods!