Calamity: Reign of Error

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I wrote numerous times on this blog how I lost my spot on buy/receive at my former dept. at the Hole. All it took was for Rog to come up with more complaints as far as how I was doing my job. He made seemingly a snap decision in the heat of the moment to announce he would eventually pull me off. Reality was that it took about two months to do so.

See, it’s possible he made up his mind in that moment in the office. And it started off strange anyway. I walked by him twice one morning as I reported to work and this was one of those strange 9 AM to 5 PM shifts I started getting. The second time he told me that he needed to speak to me when I clock on. When Ruthless Roger wants to see you it’s rarely a good thing as I had to learn.

What I realize is that the day before I was in the office with Roger I looked on Fresh Foods’ Social Network and noticed he requisitioned for a new associate buyer. Wil was our associate buyer and he wasn’t going anywhere, so I figured if he was going to pull anyone it would be me. Self-fulfilling prophecy right there…still i think now just about three years later after the climax that he probably had started to swing in that direction anyway.

Think about it, officially I never had the job to remain on buy/recieve. At the very least we needed another receiver. Also I got hit with that attendance probation so even if he or anyone else had wanted to elevate me it would’ve been a difficult sell. And besides, I couldn’t really apply for it he made sure to remind me of it while we were in that office. I was in a difficult spot but with Rog’s personality would he have overlooked it, being by the book he couldn’t. Or perhaps he was building a case against yours truly anyway.

Wil tried to say, it might be him who’d get pulled. I couldn’t see it, perhaps he was right. At the same time he already has the job that I had hoped to get myself. And strangely enough he wanted to hire another associate buyer. Rog’s plan as he stated was to make Wil who’s already an associate buyer as the team receiver. None of this made much sense, but I look back on it now he was a tad all over the place.

One thing I had figured with Roger was that he was going to bring in people he knew. It made sense whether I liked him or not. The buyer he installed Rog had known from his old store. And I had no real issues with the guy and he was out the door by the time I was no longer assigned to these shifts by October.

If you want to see the story as I saw it when I wrote it at the rough conclusion of the Reign of Error I will direct you to Denial. I had a friend read this story and he wouldn’t beat the $h!t out of me for. All he could do was conclude that Ruthless Roger wanted to sink me for reasons only he knows.

I even tried to warn Mr. Boastful who claimed any screw up he’d be vocal about but he can be cocky sometimes announcing as he was going to interview “I don’t care I’ll kick his ass”. Referring to the other person that Rog knew who was also interviewing for associate buyer and that person later got the job we learned.

Mr. Boastful was going to replace me. There were a few dry runs with him at one point especially before the interview. He got a real easy homework assignment for the interview which as hardly related to the job Mr. Boastful was seeking “How do you expect to move up at Fresh Foods?” That was so incompetent, however, after this interview he would ultimately be assigned to buy/receive and yours truly will be relegated back to the floor.

He couldn’t even contain his thoughts as he’d come around and state that “Oh, I feel so bad”. I’m trying to keep my head up, but in my mind he’s trying to rub it in. Like I said he was being very cocky, “but you know I really do” he’d exclaim. Of course he also depended upon my expertise occasionally when he was receiving since I knew how it went for the most part.

How bad was the reign of error? Well I no called no showed twice and both were on accident. In my head both times I thought I had a day off and as it turned out I was supposed to have worked. Since I had to go to work so early in the morning I was very studious about coming to work on time I got out of the house at around 4 AM to catch my morning train to the Hole. However as far as points for tardies I was already under the gun.

I was having issues being on time for some of those mid shifts before I started those buy/receive shifts. Then I starting getting those weird mid-shifts again once Roger took over our team. And for a couple of them before the attendance probation I was late.

At Fresh being over half-hour late is half a point. Being over an hour late or otherwise absent with no real excuse is a whole point. Being absent from work on what I thought was an off day gave me a whole point and another tardy put me over the edge.

Gary actually called me the day I wasn’t at work. While Gary didn’t express any indication that I’d be served with disciplinary action, Roger definitely hit me with it. Gary was cool about it, however, when I came to work the next day on my off day Ruthless Roger made sure to serve me the paperwork in an office. Not only a whole point for tardiness, but another write up for a no call no show and made sure to remind me that I can’t do this but two more times in a year’s period or I’m gone! Let me also remind you this was the first time in over two years at the Hole that I had done this.

Let me remind you of another post where I stated that I got a break recently from one of the assistant managers in my new assignment for making the same mistake. From what I can tell it wasn’t held against me and it won’t likely come up until I make enough points for paperwork.

The second time, no one called me and this was within days after Roger told me he was pulling me off buy/receive. When I did come to work on what was my actual off day Wil told me I was supposed to work the day before. I made short work of the receiving that needed to be done on the day that actually was my off day. No one from mgmt reported in – actually Arielle had called out that day. I made sure to utilize that sick time PTO to avoid getting another point which would definitely get me separated. Then I told Wil and our buyer that if it’s cool I’ll go home for the day.

Quick note: on that day I saw Rememory after getting off a bit early.

Rog came looking for me the next shift when Wil said I shouldn’t go to him which I didn’t. Something tells me that Ruthless probably decided to blow this up into something major, Mr. Boastful even had something to say about it. Don’t get me wrong it was something major, however, I should’ve kept in mind who I had been dealing with. He was by the book and whatever it prescribes he was going for it. At this point in my over two years at the Hole, these were the first two fluke no calls no shows I’ve had there.

How did I get that probation? I don’t know if it’s even been addressed here, but I had a real tough time coming to work on time the year before. What it takes to get an attendance probation was getting three final warnings and two were during the previous year in a rolling 12 month period. While at the point I got served with that I was barely at that point and got hit with it. A store manager was with another assistant mgr Rayna who was trying to be understanding but was interrupted by the store mgr which was strange. He wanted to be sure whether or not I was upset while yours truly was trying to be as cool about it as possible.

I thought this was just another write-up, wrong I was getting hit with something I didn’t expect. Of course while Ruthless wasn’t there that day his name was on the write-up. I knew what this meant, the chances of me becoming the team’s next buyer or receiver had hit a roadblock and this was not long after that first no call no show. Of course a week or so later – perhaps Rog didn’t know or perhaps he did and attempted to make right – he still seemed committed to allowing me to eventually take on the role permanently. Then he changed his mind at some point…

After Ruthless wrote me up for the second no call I tried to work with him asking for set hours. He railed against previous mgmt allowing some people to get weekends off. He used that to justify denying my request and at that point I just walked out frustrated. Roger was going to make this more difficult than necessary, but that was when I knew I was under the gun.

However, my mind was on beating this until it became clear if I was tardy one more time it was over. Sadly that came to pass, the Climax of the Reign of Error.

Complacency

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When I started going into a new direction in talking about Roger – my very last boss at The Hole three years ago – I made sure to note in some of the earlier posts about being complacent, taking things for granted, and even getting comfortable. I was in a different position than I had been since I started with the Fresh Foods and it was going to be taken from me.

I often noted that I got let go based on attendance – well in fact tardiness. I was having some issues with the man I’ve began to later refer to on this blog as Ruthless Rog. My gut tells me for some reason he was targeting yours truly and it was probably true for the whole department he probably had his eye on everyone. And if I wanted to be left alone I was in the wrong position as at that time my role meant I had to work with dept. leadership.

I stated in the latest installment that Rog had found something to complain about and made a big show of it. He pulled me into an office to let me know about fruit flies, keep department clear of food debris, and take away boxes. He also once called me out publicly for not being in full uniform while he’s on the floor. Like I said he was already looking for some excuses and he was going onto the attack.

I was in such an odd holding pattern by this time as well after that earlier bull$h!t I did try to have a discussion with him as far as my position. Even said I’d be willing to go through the process i.e get interviewed even if it meant I didn’t get the position. Part of my own ego is that well I wouldn’t have minded it if they handed me a role as part of the buy/receive staff, but I was willing to interview for it. I made sure he knew that so that he wouldn’t think that there was a sense of entitlement on my end.

I could also allege that he himself just walked in at the right time to take on the role of our department mgr. I doubt he had a particularly rigorous process…

And that was before the disaster, the attendance probation. The strangest part is that even if I could say it was all orchestrated, he still seemed willing to let me take on the role as part of the buy/receive team. This was less than a week after getting hit with that probation. Allowing me to fully take on the role according to him meant changing some codes or what not. And even got some further training on the role I’d be involved with.

Again allow me to remind you, by the time our acting dept. mgr. had departed for her newest assignment it was never settled as far as whether or not I’d officially get the position with the buy/receive crew. I didn’t want to press and possibly have it look bad on myself, however, who knows if things had worked out differently if I had tried. Still, since that was never settled before Rog took over we’re living in the reality of the so-called “reign of error”.

Perhaps most of us on the team were unsure about him. I heard from someone who’s a tad more familiar about Rog than I was that some mgmt at the Hole seemed uncertain about him- especially if there were familiar with him from the store he came from. They didn’t want to talk about Rog with this guy, he got the feeling that anyone who knew him wondered what he was doing there in his role. Perhaps he was in a position he didn’t belong and they knew it.

Meanwhile I still had to work with him and unlike the start of my time at the Hole I wasn’t as optimistic as things seemed like they weren’t going in the right direction. Hell, remember a guy I dub Mr. Boastful, he was getting in my head about it. Perhaps people were talking and he wanted me to know people were talking. I was trying not to be part of that discussion or have that in mind head but he insisted on bringing it up occasionally.

Of course I would later find out that Mr. Boastful decided he wanted my role. He had his eye on it and was a step ahead of me on communication as far as seeking it out. He knew something was going to happen and it would prove to be an opportunity for him. It’s a role he still have to this although he’s moved further along with himself leaving the Hole recently. I wonder if he still has the outspoken and stubborn attitude.

Funny thing is one of our longtime associates who got promoted to supervisor when we still had our acting dept. mgr. noted one handicap about Mr. Boastful which is he was often not very organized. Very quick and efficient as far as his role, however, there were some little things he never seemed to be able to get done. He just prioritized differently as I had in some aspects of my role.

Either way, I’m just going to stop there. There is a reason I talk about the complacency and it involved my attendance. I feel as if I should leave that for the next installment and to further discuss how Roger had arrived at finally just making his decision as far as my role as he had. And the point where our working relationship seemed to have become fractured.

Crossroads

Last year I talked about making changes and you never know if you don’t try. I talked about dwindling opportunities and such. This year I also talked about leaving your comfort zone.

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I’ve spent too much time sitting on my hands waiting for something. While waiting for something this year I got sent to a different department until my old department could get back to where it needs to be saleswise. I got the indication that this move was a very rough move and I’m not where it was expected for me to be! 

I’ve had more than a few days in this current reality where I was just sluggish and it shows to those who are paying attention. I try to remember that I have a job to do, but I recognize that my mind isn’t a good place. However, it isn’t as much about the situation at work as its life itself.

I worked hard and damn near got kicked out of school twice to pursue a prestigious college degree and have very little to show for it. It’s time that I do and it’s one reason why I started talking about YouTube earlier this year. The way I see it this is one way to actually use that fancy education.

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Either way, I recognize this is a tough spot to be in during a pandemic. There is some recovery but I have to realize the job market won’t just shift back to normal once we’re out of this thing. I’ll bet the job market will have changed permanently and that you better be able to market yourself very well in order to pursue more lucrative opportunities.

I’ve even thought about going the entrepreneurial route, and the next question is in what. So I think from this point forward I have some decisions to make. The hardest thing about this is to execute whatever plans you can make. My philosophy this year had also become just get started because life’s too short.

I’m beginning to realize this more and more these days. Life’s too short and perhaps I can no longer wait. If there’s something I want to do or need to do just get started and jump on it when the time comes. I just wish I had that mentality when I was 19

Lay of the land

This month two years ago I’ve learned about the departure of the man known on this blog as Ruthless Roger. Often as stated he was the man whom yours truly had worked for and in part thanks to him I lost my job at The Hole. That moment where he walked me into the store management offices so that his immediate boss Morley let me go has become one of the more dramatic moments of my working life.

I don’t want to dwell on it a whole lot yet. This is the time to set the lay of the land over three years ago. Back in ’17, yours truly didn’t expect some of the rapid changes that were occurring to the team as I knew it back then. At this point my department was at least two dept mgrs ahead of Roger’s arrival. It was this time that the boss we had since the previous summer announced to us that he put in his two weeks and he was leaving. I learned later that he just wasn’t quite working out for some reason and store mgmt wasn’t too pleased with him for some reason.

It didn’t depress me, however, it was as much of a blow as the man who hired me getting promoted to become an assistant store manager elsewhere. As it turned out he was cool at the same time there was uncertainty among the team as a few declared that they were planning on departing in the near future now that our then boss was leaving the company. At this point to see how the situation shakes out we have the remainder of the spring and summer to find out.

Well at some point our team came under the leadership of one of our assistant managers. And she was the one who assigned me to do the buy/receive shifts by the summer. I also had the opportunity to become a supervisor and failed once I didn’t get passed screenings. As an aside one of the supervisors she elevated eventually became one of the assistant managers at the Hole in my former department.

During that period began a slide as far as my tardiness. I had a number of mid-morning to afternoon shifts that I had done a real $h!t job of being on time for. Briefly Morley was our dept mgr and he had me sign paperwork for them. It would take time for those tardies to roll off the bad news it when they did it would be just in time for Rog, if he was looking for a target, to take advantage of.

Long story short there was uncertainty. However, I had no reason to think things would go the direction that they would eventually go during the course of that year. Perhaps in spite of the many changes occurring in such a short period of time there was no reason for me to think that yours truly would be sunk by a bad boss. As stated before there is a reason that he lasted roughly six months as a dept mgr, then sent to another store as a supervisor, and then eventually departs the company not long after that.

Soon I will tell the story of the first time I met the man I also refer to as /goofball. There was something of a lay of the land to that also. There is also an “apocryphal” story that occurred just about two years before that. Little did yours truly would know if that was the first meeting he would later become his boss in a few years.

Stay Tuned.

Psychology: Sociopathy

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I know that I had spend just about a year “whining” about my old hustler. Also in talking with others about him I’ve run into a term that more than likely I just have gravitated towards, “sociopath”. Sometimes I have to remember that I’m not a mental health professional, and I have to stop myself from wondering who else had I run into who might have been a sociopath.

Doing that would just continue to drive me nuts and place me deeper within the kaos.

What have I written about since writing about trying to have rules of no engagement with Anthony. I’ve had the greatest period of peace in my life since I have met him. Think about this after he made some of his moves when we first met at the theater, I started off avoiding him because he came at me right away begging. Also he was the type that would let me know I had a crisis and really try to drive home that he was trying to avert this crisis.

His questions and comments about me being a virgin, I’ve decided was an attempt at an edge. He wanted me to think of it as a bad thing and it’s something I must address before a certain point before it becomes a problem. It’s probably not really an issue for him since he seems to have little issue getting any – he loves to chase p@$$y although he seems to be perpetually single. What I’ve begun to theorize since I’ve known him is this small piece of information to him means I have some value to him – i.e. money at his beck and call.

I often say that my current rules of no engagement might well bother him. He may not entirely know why I’m just not answering the phone for him. He may not understand my lack of urgency as far as his voicemail at the end of last year. Then again he might realize that I’m trying to cut ties, perhaps he knows “my game” and since that wasn’t part of his plan he’s probably trying to get me back onto his planet.

His motivations for “befriending” me years ago is clear to me. I realize that our conversations about life or business was empty – and as far as yours truly I suspect Anthony considers anything I say about life to be empty. I realize most of them time we would ever talk it often could lead to him asking for something. And now if he can keep the lines of communication going it’ll happen again because that’s the pattern.

So while a few months ago I showed a video actually of psychopaths and have used sociopath or sociopathy with regards to someone I once considered a friend I don’t want to be so judgemental. Do I think I’m still under the gun from him? Yes. However I must restate how it’s important for rules of NO engagement. I still feel as if a final dramatic confrontation will remain a very stressful concept.

Updates

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Sometimes I’m always in a state of re-evaluating things. Remember last year I just decided that it was time to not write as much about my time at “The Show”. I think of my time at the theater as a baseline according to where I should go in the next five years. In this case, it should go the opposite of what happened there. I was largely successful in that I found a job with great pay, good benefits, and of course growth!

Lately I’ve wrote a lot about two dramas that occurred in my life since last year. To start I wrote my most recent post about Rog just recently just to illustrate that I found out something about him since he’s no longer an associate of “Fresh Foods”. Also remember that he was no longer the mgr of my former dept at “The Hole” and was shipped to another store as a supervisor. Then I dug into timelines what happened and expressed my own thoughts about him as I tried to return to the company where I was successful.

Then there’s Anthony the hustler. It’s not really a drama as much as it become a shift he quickly became less of a friend due to a communications blackout that effectively started the summer of 2017. I had to realize that he was a hustler, who often sought a small amount of change for any contrived need he can come up with. I’ll admit that if a door was cracked open – often by yours truly – for the opportunity to be taken advantage of he’d come right in! I’m mostly upset that I was slow to catch onto his pattern.

Anyway part of the re-evaluation here is that what are their effects towards me today. Well the effects are that I made some tactical errors on both sides. Be on time for one and on the other enforce my boundaries because some people want to break them down no matter what. And don’t become engrossed in drama – external drama mainly – to allow someone else to come in and do you a favor so that they can turn around and say you owe them. Perhaps Anthony in trying to influence me to change jobs last year was trying to put me in a situation where I again had to owe him! In his case I’ve been giving more than he gave me, his job leads resulted in no job and often he threw it to me to follow-up with these mgrs who interviewed me or I was supposed to interview with.

Either way I’m hoping that for a long time this will be the last time you will hear about either individual. Rog is so far in the rear view mirror I doubt he will ever be heard from again. I could be surprised, but it’s probably doubtful that I will run into him again and if I did hopefully the roles will be reversed. I’m the mgr and he’s the job seeker looking for the next opportunity and I can see through his resume of accomplishments.

As for Anthony, I get the feeling occasionally he’ll try to call me looking for something. I never came up with a strategy other than ignoring him. However if he’s devoted a lot of time mentally to my lack of response to him, he probably doesn’t understand. On the other hand he might be good, he got what he needed for as long as he could get it and has likely moved on quickly to someone else who’ll give him what he needs. I have to accept a loss because it’s time to stop this flow of cash that he has sought since we first worked together over seven years ago.

Like I said, time to let those two stories go. With Anthony if anything changes with him I’ll update you all. Especially if I communicate to him that it’s time to move on. Regardless I realize there are some things on my plate and some other things that need to be on my mind, and I don’t need the expense of taking care of someone else’s needs.

Finally I have some opportunities to consider coming up with “Fresh”. Perhaps I can try for associate buyer at my new store. I feel that there are some aspects of this job I may not be entirely comfortable with, but one way to look at it was with the job I held when I started and restarted with the company I got comfortable with it eventually. Of course I consider another job I had when I never did settle down and get comfortable. Regardless perhaps I have a small time to consider the opportunity, but I have to decide soon. And even then if I express interest then they have to get me comfortable with the job and that means I have to learn to buy. Time will tell regardless!

And as always if anything moves on that front I will update you as well.

Hustler

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I’ve had to realize that an old friend Anthony – my martial artist friend who worked with me at “The Show” – is a hustler. I remember that he used to refer to those individuals who work 10 jobs as hustlers, he seemed to look down on that. Although to be fair at one point since I’ve known him he seemed to be working two jobs. Having done that myself during the course of this blog, it’s not entirely easy!

All the same, remember how he started off our work relationship. All I had to do is take him home in my mother’s car and he started asking questions and he probably was evaluating me. Next thing I know he asks the second question I thought was out of line which is “Can I borrow some money?” He hardly wasted any time doing so and even worse even if it caused me to back off since we just me it only served to cause him to change his strategy. I just wish that I had been smart enough to see that well he wasn’t going to stray too far from his programming.

I had to realize that he always had an agenda. When he caught himself looking out for my interests at work or even when I was trying to look for another job it was often about him. One time when I told him about an interview I got for a competing theater chain he suggested something counter-intuitive to me which was to negotiate and if I don’t get what I want be prepared to walk – and I was like “Huh?”. I don’t know what I wanted yet other than a job offer which needless to say I never got so when he asked about hours and such all I could tell him was that we just never got that. As far as that this should be the answer, if we never went there no job offer is coming at all!

This let’s me know – though years after the fact – that this was really about him. If I was more in interview mode than negotiation mode for a mere minimum wage job even if there was a possibilities for further opportunities at that company then it was doomed to fail. I’d have flopped anyway in spite of my best hopes and intentions and somehow he’d find a way to blame me for it depressing me further.

Not to stay negative on him but if it hadn’t been for him I wouldn’t have tried for that mgmt position at a neighborhood movie house. While I never imagined the disarray that took place there after that interview it was still a worthwhile experience. Sadly I was destined not to get the job whether or not I did well with that interview. While Anthony felt bad that it fell through that this was something he helped orchestrate largely because he knew I wanted this. I never told him the reason but if there was a reason this was my escape away from the place I knew as “S**tplace”.

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His tips that I took advantage of were for jobs that he was working. The opportunities at the local theater, “Finer Foods” (which didn’t work out for a variety of reasons outside of our control possibly), and finally a home goods store near downtown Chicago. Then this leads me to a conclusion for some reason he wants me close to him – and is probably why he wanted so bad last year for me to consider working at “Finer Foods”. All the sudden and with my experience at “Fresh Foods” he tried to sell me on it with a simple “You’d make more money” and with my experience trying to get on with them I’d start coming up with excuses which he seemed to ignore.

Another more potent conclusion with this: he wants me beholden to him. Ahhhhhh, for what he does for me I have to owe him something. Helping me to find a better opportunity – even when I’m not looking for one (especially when for a good stretch I was doing so well at “Fresh”). I could include his attempt to get me to buy tickets for myself and a ex-coworker from the theater which is one could conclude that well he treated that nice young lady like an object to be passed around. Regardless no matter how much he can claim I blew it, he was a lousy matchmaker as we never connected in the first place. Again as much as his need to direct me to his own jobs leads this wasn’t as much about me as it was him!

Also I had to realize that he may just be used to being a dominant person. Bad news is that he’s a dominant person that’s needy. The need is about money it could be he’s generally lonely. I feel he had an inability to connect with people beyond his need to just have to find a way to dominate the scene. So his need to provide unneeded advice isn’t always just directed towards me. He often does this to everyone though he should know who’ll listen to him and who won’t. In my case I’ve given him a reason to think I’ll listen to him even though he may also know that I won’t follow up.

All the same this is why I know he tends to overreact to things. Trying to check me before I make a mistake even though perhaps I wasn’t even thinking about that. Let’s say he asked me to send him something (probably a draft e-mail or whatnot he’s not that good with typing evidently) and then he might come back to me later when I type out one errant phrase. His dominant side also is a clue that he viewed our relationship far differently than how I might’ve viewed it. Perhaps he sees himself as a fatherly figure I could look at him as a brother but he just wants to be more over me than anything. This is not a friendship which is how I prefer to view our relationship. Well most of my relationships outside of family or romance.

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DB? lol

Which also reminds me when we did talk last year and we go onto the subject of “The Show” he often seemed to discuss the negative. He may not understand that I don’t enjoy talking about it, but he does like to remind me about one time that I went off on “Deranged Barney” he seems to like for me to go over it again and again – another irritating thing he likes to do. When I called him after running into DB his response was to throw it back to me telling me I need to let it go and then just say what’s up man how’s it going. Essentially blowing off that I have no need to speak to that man again.

Beyond that he literally does run me down on the phone. From his words he told me that he felt so sorry for me, claiming that I had no one no friends, no male influence, he tried to take me under his wing as a mentor. Bear in mind when we first started working together he already came out to start begging for money. And based upon the knowledge that he had such a pitiful view of yours truly and likes to come on strong he just wasn’t the mentor or male influence that I needed.

And since he seems to like to mention that I’m a virgin – something I won’t discuss with him especially since he started off this way when we first met – and his need to dispense dating advice or even worse keeps recommending women I work with at the theater he seems to have some disgusting habits with regards to women. Granted – and surprisingly – he’s had some success with women that is he’s getting his d**k wet according to him and of course being a man in his 50s has several children. If only the grannies he claims to have f**ked realize that he’s showing their images – no nudes mind you just pics of women he’s connected with – letting me know how much action he’s getting.

Worse image he gave me was that one granny he claimed to have had relations with asked him to pull out. She used her hands to insure a “money shot” across the face. For some reason he wants me to know how nasty these women want it. With that said, why does he pursue grannies, because they won’t likely get pregnant. Though at the theater he did claim that he had relations with some of our younger coworkers who were largely in their 20s. Those silly young things like the wild @S$h0l3s as I now believe Anthony is.

Finally, I basically hadn’t heard from Anthony essentially since February when he called me from a different number. I noted that in another post he sent me a txt asking me to call him to which I never did. I just asked him who he was and he responded, simply decided that he probably wanted something. Thankfully he hadn’t really pressed that he wanted me to call him back since that time. Believe me if he really wanted something he’d put on a full court press and then when I did he’ll just comment hes been trying to get my attention and he just doesn’t understand.

I suppose for now he probably doesn’t need anything pressing – especially money. Perhaps he’s finally sensed that I’ve been frustrated with him. I also consider the fact that he’s borrowed money from me again & again and showed no urgency in paying me back. I realize our whole relationship was him looking to take advantage and keeping me in a position where he can continue to do so. Perhaps as he said he was glad that I found the job at “Fresh” and was happy that I left “The Show” that he just shows the side where he’s truly not happy for me. Perhaps that merely means that he’s losing control of yours truly.

Regardless I still feel as if he may try to get back in touch with me. When I tell friends or my mother about him they say a variety of things. They may say good riddance because I’ve not talked to him since last year. They may say he’s a sociopath and I should avoid contact at all costs. Part of me wants to tell him off which could prove to be dangerous as I view him as a troll akin to my so-called arch nemesis DB. So I’m not sure what the next move is right now, I do somewhat expect that he may try to contact me again!

 

the hook-up

34608175474_d8b6f9ca61_z.jpgI’ve learned how my old friend Anthony has the need to get himself into drama. the drama itself doesn’t really involve him and yet, he gets involved and it has very little to do with him. he’s the nosy neighbor who we may groan about however we’re glad he’s around when we need him! I don’t always feel that way about him.

Another thing Anthony likes to pivot into when we talk is my love life. it’s something he decided to not only comment on one time he actually did try to arrange a date. actually because he decided that I was a virgin – he was right, but I tried not to go there with him – he tried to get me to talk to a number of women we worked with at “the show”.

The young lady in question he did actually try to hook me up with – we’ll call her Greta – he wanted me to take her to the Chicago Theater for a comedy show. to be honest I was lukewarm about the Chicago Theater, when he suggested – more like demanded – that I go to a show at Chicago so thus it was important for me to check ticket prices. whatever they were it stopped me cold and it wasn’t because I was a cheapskate more like it became an excuse for me to not go to this event with Greta.

This wasn’t a knock against Greta who was a twenty-something woman outside of my race who had worked at “the show” with us. she was a quiet and short-haired blonde woman who I found attractive though somewhat “perfectly imperfect”. at some point in the previous year before Anthony’s attempt at a “hook-up” she had quit “the show” and was promoted to manager at another smaller movie theater in the city.

we actually visited her at this theater on the north side, almost missed her as she was setting up the concession/bar area because she had changed her hair color. we even sat in one of the auditoriums there just to check out that venue. and this was one of those Anthony wanted to be nosy days and he was mostly in touch with her. I even made note of her hair color complimenting her.

after that brief visit, I more or less just forgot about her and went back to some form of business as usual. every now and then anthony may bring this up and say are you going i may give an answer but not really an affirmative. he one time texted me about this one time attempting to turn this into an overarching point about trying to be a manager.

what was Anthony’s motives, not certain other than he saw the need for me to go out. it wasn’t enough that i often liked to go to the movies alone – and at that due to my own unwillingness to go the movies at “the show” even if it was for free as an associate. he wanted me to go out with Greta and have a good time out on the town and go out. he really wanted to see me take a woman out or relate to a woman or whatever. after a while for some reason he moved on to some other things and forgot about this event he wanted me to go to.

that was until Greta called him to ask about this event. i suppose she was starved for updates also and more so than i had been. so he checked on the available seats and saw that they had been diminished considerably. disappointed – and with him trying to reassure her – she just simply told him “I’ll talk to you later” and hung up. and guess who he called after that….

He had already called me earlier on that particular day and we never talked about this comedy show. so after Greta called him he immediately called me to yell at me because it was my fault that we burned a bridge with her. in failing to cover this event in Anthony’s word what i did wasn’t cool. the reality, even if Anthony thought he broke through, I really had little interest in this event in the first place. if i was going out with anyone I’d be more than happy to make my own plans! I never told him this but he probably didn’t really factor in my apparent level of interest in this.

it almost reminds me of how he somewhat campaigned to get me up to his “finer foods” store on the north side, especially after getting blown off by his store manager after almost an hour. it never occurred to him that I lost interest after that and he still felt as if i should’ve followed up on this. and then when i moved on from “the show” ultimately to “fresh foods” he started his campaign again with the idea that yours truly would like “finer foods” better and because of my experience i would make more money. so he still pivoted into my business as far as making a move that could net more more pay!

these days he finds a way to bring this up now. when he borrowed money from me he still insists that yours truly blew it with greta. and i kept asking him “blew what?” and he didn’t mind stating repeatedly “you blew it with her”. of course before that there were other situations where he brought it up, bottom line is that he felt as if my actions helped burn a bridge with her. he made it a lot more than i thought it was at the time and for some dumb reason i have a tough time even accepting this.

i could put this situation in the same vein as the one with candice. though in candice’s case she was far more aggressive about it than greta was. i suppose that was the turnoff with candice more than anything. in the case of greta it was more third-party meddling that made things far more interesting. either way both situations became something i wasn’t very comfortable with and it was easier to do nothing when in doubt than to simply take advantage.

 

it’s candice’s turn…

img_1148-1in this post i’m going to discuss some remaining business and analysis regarding candice. you first read about her in a post titled “you make the call” and generally shows my response to her sudden interest in me one summer when we both worked at “the show”. it left me very uncomfortable in some respects and she was very determined to keep my attention until she stopped.

in later posts i referred to her as missy’s good buddy. missy was the one-off foe who spend the remaining time she had at the theater powering tripping because of her “connections”. with this in mind i now consider missy & candy (hey that rhymes) something of a one-two punch or good cop and bad cop – hint missy was the bad cop.

to illustrate this point one-time outside of a auditorium as a movie let out missy so incensed or out of control because i ignored her for most of my shift said one infamous thing to me and far more infamous than a threat – “if i’m a bitch, then i’m going to be a bitch”. candace was that probably not egging her on, though certainly not trying to calm situation down and besides i wouldn’t pay a whole lot of attention to her anyway during that time. regardless missy lost all control and as she lost it i strove to maintain my own. she wasn’t going to get me to say anything i didn’t want to and whatever i was going to say was going to get her going because she was already there.

now, candace was essentially laying down a welcome mat for reasons only she knew. when i tell this story to some of the young men i work with they don’t understand, the opportunity was presenting itself and you wouldn’t go for it – you BLEW it. it never got through that perhaps i had little interest in her and it was largely based on her young behaviors and certainly what i see as her aggression in trying to get my attention.

i have one theory as far as why everything happened and i’ve deduced it to one night that summer – before “the show” got particularly busy later that summer. the move in question on that evening was the purge and she – as far as i knew just arrived on the scene at that point. i walked up behind her, perhaps got a lil too close and told her to turn the radio down. unfortunately we didn’t have ear-pieces for the radios like most other businesses that uses walkie-talkie. we had to remember when we walk in a theater to turn them down while a movie is playing.

soooo i think at some point as the theater let out and we began cleaning we talked about the job and then forgot all about her. the girl in question somewhat matches my basic description of candice – a young girl (19 or 20), nice body, long real hair – that she probably put into a pony tail, and a nice face for sure. perhaps it set her interest signals off and in the meanwhile i just thought not much of this after that.

of course as stated in that long ago post she spoke to me as i rushed to the time clock having been running late and after blowing this off she walks up to me and blocks my path as i attempted to go around her. something really set off in her mind after simply not realizing or knowing that she was trying to speak to me and i didn’t speak back to her. basically this started a long summer trend where she tries to speak and i generally don’t respond. occasionally i’d just engage in sarcastic behavior finding it amusing to myself but not to her as she really wanted to talk to me and all i did was push her away.

one particular part of this story i noted was that a supervisor said hello to me as the theater was shutting down for the night and i spoke back. candice was behind concession and was upset that i spoke back to the supervisor – and this is because i mostly don’t just say hello back to her. she was seen just twisting and turning because of my general response to her wasn’t different than my response to the supervisor. in fact, the supervisor did ask, “why are you getting mad candice?”

one part of the revenge candice offered was one night when i had to close the floor at the theater. i left my walkie at the customer service desk thinking i didn’t need it anymore. minutes later candice who was off duty for the night came and found me and made sure i got that walkie back because another one of her buddies a supervisor decided that i needed a radio. as i complained she walked off without a word just back turned and probably satisfied with my response.

this other supervisor was a loud mouth and sometimes didn’t seem to have a steady mood with me from day to day or moment to moment. eventually after basically sh*tting on another associate at the theater she got herself fired. there is an official reason, but allegedly i can say she really got fired for treating someone badly.

one final moment not before mentioned. one day candice and two other young women were often seen huddled around auditoriums before the movie starts. everyone wasn’t supposed to be together like that. and one of those women were supposed to be doing rounds about the facility with me. and she didn’t like to do much work anyway – even if later she expressed interest in becoming a manager and it never happened.

either way this young woman asked if i was doing this, that or another and i simply said yes & no as i kept walking past the sisters. candice jumped on this immediately saying something undecipherable, and certainly it was about what i just said. another young lady who witnessed the whole convo – and whom i never said a whole lot to – simply chimed in with “he’s got a smart-ass mouth”. before i wrap up the storyline i’ll introduce you to her this particular one is called the “bullshark”.

otherwise after this candice and yours truly never had words cross paths with each other again and incidentally the next year i saw her on a train as i headed to the north side. i figured out who she was seeing some traits that reminded me of her and it certainly included a tote she often carried with her to work. if we made eye contact she’d immediately break it, but message clear that wasn’t the time to make a connection with her. she headed north and i got off at my stop.

now jack, why had you been responding to candice that way?

to be honest i kept doing what i was doing because it amused me. i never saw what i was doing as a rejection and it never occurred to me that candice would simply leave me alone. that being said her behavior was somewhat aggressive on some level especially the time she snapped at me behind concession as we both had customers to take care of – that was patently aggressive. otherwise her need to keep my attention was definitely aggressive and i wouldn’t respond to her.

as much as i characterize my response as a non-rejection it was certainly a reaction. remember i’m in my early thirties college graduate and working with young people who are still developing at a movie theater. here she comes matching me move for move repeating that “you know you heard me talking to you”. that behavior didn’t compute and any other times after that i just simply decided she was trying to hard and perhaps she did have an agenda. but then this agenda is really an unanswered question. was she really interested in me or did she really want to add to the gossip? btw, any gossip about me my goal was to remain blind and i tried not to care unless someone just mentioned it to me out of the blue.

now that i’ve grown a bit such then i did consider looking for candice on social media. the only social media i see her using is instagram and she had exhibited – because she’s young still – the need to show herself off. when you think about it most young women do like to show themselves off. i suppose the only question today is if she’d remember who i am and if she would ever connect with me on instagram. perhaps then i could attempt to explain some things as back then i had no willingess to explain some of my actions to her. besides my actions should speak louder than words even if they had been uncalled for.

all the same i’ve never really came up with a very satisfactory answer as to why i kept blowing off candice. to use the whole standing in my path thing was a bit of an excuse more than anything. to be sure it was irritating at the wrong time given my situation, but of course she may well have seen it differently. obviously there was a reason why she wanted my attention. and as stated once the more she continued the more sarcastic and oblivious i became.

one more tidbit here one time i was off of work and switch from my cap and uniform shirt and as i walked from locker room candice saw me and attempted to speak. she tried to compliment my hat but to whatever she said i basically kept saying “what?”. another coworker off to the side obviously saw this whole convo as awkward. candiace had to stop and say “i’m complimenting you” or “why are you being mean” or even at another point “i’m trying to talk to you because you seem like you need a friend”.

btw, in anger even missy said to me during her out of control moment outside of an auditorium, “you need a friend jack”. almost as if saying – and this was long before i ever started having real issues with colleagues at “the show” – that something was brewing and i had little idea.

all the same her reaction summed up her attempts to be friendly with me back then. i was being “yours truly” at the time, and she was essentially being pushed away for her troubles. as it happens for the most part when her attempts to reach out is rebuffed she often gave an exasperated expression before she just moved on. when i walk off with no word, exasperated. when i get sarcastic, exasperated. an odd cycle i established…

as far as ever finding a way to reach out, my only answer is that it’s probably not a good idea at this point. she’s likely moved on and forgotten about me probably found others who were more willing to give her the time of day. hell she actually did allegedly find someone who would give her the time of day while still at the show. and she had her supervisor call off for her when she failed to report to work on one occasion allegedly.

all the same it’s a lesson learned and perhaps i treated her quite unfairly. candice really wasn’t a problem, however, her approach of the time being a young woman just wasn’t appreciated. on top of that now I consider this a sign of my now growing frustration with my role at “the show” and candice was likely going to have a difficult time breaking through.

Petty

Concession Counter at Movie Theater

Lately I’ve found myself telling this story to some of my current coworkers. This is one that has still got me riled after leaving three years ago. Basically what I’ve told them is a shorthand version of this very petty story. They all ask the same basic question “did she try make this as if I did something to her” or “was she trying to imply that there was something sexual”.

The answer to those question is, I have no idea. The basic story is that she ran to mgmt because I bumped into her to basically illustrate the pettiness of this story. And the worst part of this story is that the house manager – the no. 2 honcho at the theater – decided to handle this and this situation escalated. To be fair I was already not in a good state when this happened and the house manager has a tendency to handle things indelicately. This story will illustrate this.

This story started when I had to cook more pizzas due to a picky customer who complained that the pizza given to him was burned. So when I came back from behind the stand to hand him his pizza I was looking for him and he had walked off. Just as I was going further into the front suddenly this young lady – we’ll call her Kelly – was in front of me with her elbow in my chest. She said nothing and I just simply kept it moving thinking we both knew what happened.

Allow me to briefly introduce Kelly, physically she had been something to look at however as far as personality she was young and often showed it. She often used her high-pitched and occasionally squeaky voice to complain. She may have on at least two other occasions used that voice on me to complain about something i.e. I wasn’t doing any work. One time she used her voice to mouth off on another male coworker who asked me and another coworker if we’d like to trade with him in his words “I can’t work with her”.

It was some time later that I was about to head to bathroom and walked past customer service in the lobby and h.m. bellowed behind his perch there “Jack, did you bump into Kelly”. when i answered in the affirmative his next question was “then why didn’t you say excuse me?” When he decided to start in on me right in the theater lobby while seated I heard Kelly state “you’re being very rude Jack”. Basically this is how well that went

Jack: OK how about this? i will say excuse me to you when you say excuse me to me. *to Kelly

Kelly: No because you were being very rude *to yours truly

Jack: WHAT DO YOU MEAN RUDE?!?!?! *back to Kelly

H.M.: Walk away Kelly, walk away

As you saw there I went off on her immediately and as she walked to the back I just simply asked h.m.: “YOU’RE TAKING THIS UP? REALLY? YOU’RE TAKING THIS UP?”. All he said was that well he was giving me the opportunity to make it right as there was no disagreement as to what happened. Bad news is that since he got involved in something so petty now it’s taking on a different tone and hence why it got heated real quick. While I tried to remember this is the general manager’s #2 I was talking to i just couldn’t contain how out of line this was.

Now granted she had every right to do what she did, this was clearly uncalled for. In my mind who got hurt and what exactly did I do for her not to be able to handle getting bumped into by yours truly. I have no idea if she wanted to suggest it was harassment or if she just had the need to complain about something which is more likely. And also was h.m. jumping on this because she was his favorite employee or had a serious crush on her that she decided to play off of one more time?

4G08Mmum

superman triggered

Regardless his involvement was a bad trigger and my voice raised to the point where he suggest I watch my tone. Eventually after this he pulled me towards the back where I wasn’t backing down and I had no problem telling him “I don’t understand why she RAN to YOU!” and still he wants me to just say excuse me and i tell him what i told her “I’ll say excuse me to her when she says excuse me to me”. Finally just to calm things down he quickly and loudly told me to put my hands down as I’m being violent. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING VIOLENT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN VIOLENT?” If I was thinking about doing something when he said that I wanted to just give him a weak slap across the face just to illustrate a dumb point.

At this point, the general manager who for whatever reason was in the background walked up and ushered us into the office, finally. While I won’t discuss much about what was said in the office. I will say the GM approached this neutrally without pointing a finger at anyone. He did wonder what my problem was with saying excuse me to kelly. Well here’s the answer I’ll tell you if I was at my wits end with “The Show” and why sometimes fingers get pointed at me for some odd reason then how did a simple bump become a huge issue for the top two managers to address. Also h.m. i always knew as a d!ck towards me so I saw this as another incident and chose a very small one thanks to a very complaining young lady.

Eventually I finally went to the bathroom after being ushered out of the office so that the h.m and g.m. can further discuss the issue. When I got back behind the stand I was called back into the office with Kelly so that the h.m can oversee us say excuse me to each other. And without being specific Kelly had to say something before being cut off by the h.m. The h.m had to repeat a basic lie he wasn’t able to prove during this whole “fight” of sorts claiming “she said excuse me”. Which he only said after I repeatedly  made my statement that “I’ll say excuse me to her, when she says excuse me to me”.

Before this point I had an interview with a bank which I was still waiting on a decision. Regardless this was just one sign that it was time for me to go. After this strange incident I made it a point to stay as far away from Kelly as possible. Was mostly successful until she finally cut her ties with “the show” later that summer.

And one last line with regards to h.m. – “If you had been watching where you were going, you wouldn’t have had an elbow in your chest.” GRRRR!