Updates and history

As currently I’m learning my new role on yet another new team in over four years, I can compare this current time with me joining the team at the Hole after being hired with Fresh Foods. We had to go through what they call “hit the ground running” their take on orientation which we did at a local university and later a local hotel and then eventually we moved over to the store itself which was just opening. I learned my role eventually and would dare say I latched onto my role to the point where it was a shock that I lost my job there over two and a half years later.

However back in the time between Dec. 2014 and Jan. 2015 it came in a very quick fashion. I had just lost my job at the bank, and it was a job I really was starting to despise. It wasn’t going very well and the people I worked with there let me know it. My goal was to find something else and I’ll drop them like a bad habit of course they dropped me like a bad habit. Today I would say good riddance, back then it came with some uncertainty although I had some interviews lined up with the Hole.

If I had it my way perhaps I’d be a cashier, though I’m glad I didn’t start off in that role. I’d deal with the issues of a deli counter instead. It’s not much different than working a concession stand. I’m actually working in a real kitchen with real food. And of course picky customers who can’t help but make food an ordeal. Sometimes you just wish you can tell them to cook for themselves.

Anyway once the change happened eight years ago, I told a few people from The Show. I did tell Anthony that I got a job with Fresh, he had a positive spin. When I told him how much I got paid he was like nice, until sometime later I told him what I would be doing which he characterized as a bad career move. What I tried to steer him towards is how much I like the company, though not so much I didn’t like the bank which was true. He held onto the idea that I could be a personal banker and make more money. There’s no pleasing him it seems, he’s very judgmental.

Anyway, to be in this new environment was as much a culture shock as was leaving The Show for the bank. Except perhaps in some ways I set myself up to fail quick with people who were very willing to allow you to fail. Not so much they were supposed to have your back, however, as I learned with them they weren’t very patient and of course the more mistakes I made the more upset with me they were. Like I said it wasn’t working and I accept that today.

Sometimes a fresh start is nice. To leave The Show for a fresh start was necessary. To have a fresh start at Gotham Bank only to find some of the the same issues cropping up is a bit of a problem. And then to have a fresh start at Fresh Foods and for a decent period of time it seems to work out is something that is great for yours truly. I think compared to what happened before or even after, this is a period of time I would want to repeat.

So I feel as if my recent transfer is somewhat of a repeat. In the New Year a fresh start in another location. And I feel as if it’s slow going, however, I already have experience within the dept I’m in and the company. I still have to learn their way and of course avoid the issue of stepping on toes. Just be helpful, yet not be the person who has little idea about what I’m doing. And you know that was the bank job, I think I just joined a team that wasn’t a great fit for me.

I got the latest fresh start in another department at my last store. Well it wasn’t entirely what I wanted and perhaps it was what my boss wanted at the time. I can recognize that he seems to have difficulty really communicating with expressing his frustration. In some respects he was nitpicky and seems to side with the rabble rousers of the team. The ones who seem drama prone which my old dept at the store I just left will be picking up one such person at some point after I transferred. Of course that person who I will characterize as drama prone – either they stir the pot – is transferring teams because they’re clashing with their boss. I just look at it as a bit of a bitter pill and yet it probably was necessary because it just wasn’t going very well at all in 20-20 hindsight.

So either way I’m glad to have made this leap on my own and in a new setting at Flagship 3 – this is what I’m calling the new store. It’s truly a great space though the layout is odd, however, this is befitting a store near downtown Chicago. As always I hope for the best where I am now.


To be honest, I wanted to write about the era known as the “Reign of Error”. My storytelling on that has gone as far as I can take it. I’ve had the benefit of experience during my second stint with Fresh Foods and of course the words of others in the last few years. It’s really time to let this go.

There were a lot of things that have occurred that I view as a setback. The Reign of Error was a setback, and while it’s very easy to point fingers at others I have to take some responsibility. This has been stated on this blog in the past, complacency to taking things for granted. In late 2017 business as usual didn’t happen.

I could talk about Roger’s “quirks” which included being set up to fail. However, I had to mind my own issues. Some things became bizarre once he became my boss. However, when I went to my current assignment things again became bizarre. Perhaps schedule, perhaps Rog’s (or Creepy the Clown’s) behavior, or perhaps even store leadership. And then of course in trying to take care of my own business at the time I failed or more accurately it didn’t matter if someone had made up their mind.

My favorite saying is because of what I learned happened to Ruthless Rog – at the very least I learned that he at least stepped down from dept. mgr. to take on a supervisor role at another store only to later leave the company – I can laugh about it. With the store mgr, Morley because of how he went out I could also laugh about it also.

I also consider the last four years I didn’t have the payoff that I would’ve liked to assume the role that I began to take on during that summer. The role he decided to pull me away from, and my thinking is this was something he wanted to do anyway. Perhaps he was just petty, perhaps he didn’t like the way I worked and was very unwilling communicate that to yours truly. He already found things to complain about even rather petty weird things to pick at. Of course consider the attendance situation especially after I got hit with that probation.

Things started getting very weird during that summer and one thing I have to accept now is that some of my actions got me there. Especially where the state of my attendance was once Rog took control of my dept. It’s safe to say things took care of itself after that with a few missteps on my end. So if that was used to get me out of there then perhaps the one thing I didn’t want to hear – that I put myself in that situation – is very correct. It just sucks because there were some unfairness in this but no one was going to recognize this.

So anyway, I suppose this is the closure I need. Things didn’t work out the way I wanted it to back in 2017 and when I tried to come back to the Hole it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to in the new year 2018. And I also know for a few of the parties involved in this – externally from yours truly – things didn’t entirely work out for neither of them. I know where Rog is today and not quite to where he made it during the summer of 2017. I don’t know what happened with Morley once I have recently heard a regional executive – not his direct boss exactly – was said to have let him go on the spot.

All one can say is everyone is where they are supposed to be at the moment, now!

In any event it’s unknown where Morley is at this point. And I found out that Rog is back with the company as a buyer in the liquor dept at another store in another state – he’s left that suburban small business pharmacy. Who knows if that as$holery is still within him and from what I know from people who worked with him he had that cockiness that arrogance which surely got humbled once he was bounced from being dept. mgr. after about six months. I’d like to think people change, however, sometimes old bad habits are hard to break especially the issue of just being an outright @s$hole.

All I can do is say that there is a good chance he hasn’t thought much of me or anyone else he had affected in some adverse way in many years. Perhaps he’s convinced that he’s done what he was supposed to do and by the book – since that was his orientation. The way I see it through his behavior and through his actions, it just didn’t work out for him the way he expected it to. Anyone who was able to observe him likely knows it, and here’s hoping Rog actually has thought about it and realizes it.

Meanwhile on my end some lessons learned.

July updates

I’ve been telling people that I spend a lot of time on Fresh Food’s social network primarily looking up jobs. I see quite a few postings that are of interest.

  • I see Gary has returned to downtown Chicago. I didn’t think he would do that as I heard that the Hole had been “too busy” for him. He’s probably at that time five years ago more used the pacing of his old store which had closed. Anyway his dept is looking for a buyer I’m tempted, however, at this time I probably won’t pursue it. I may have a chance especially with him, however, who knows just more determined to do more training in that area before I pursue any such training. Oh yeah I almost forgot he took on the role of dept mgr at a store that recently relocated hear downtown Chicago.
  • Rayna in my old dept at the Hole has posted for a buyer. She’s one of two strikes as far as pursuing positions at my old store. The other strike is the assistant store mgr who remains there after almost five years, stagnating. I have a bit more to tell you about that situation it won’t be here.
  • Finally my current dept has posted for a new receiver. The new guy that my boss upped and hired finally crashed and burned. Mr. Motorman’s favorite excuse was he had to go to court, I recently learned. His way of getting out of work. He lasted no more, no less than two or three months. I’m dancing around applying for one thing I’m remembering that rejection last summer and of course while I have an ability to get there early in the morning that’s a consideration also. I already know that in my case I plan to use it as a stepping stone. In six mos. or so I want to move on. Besides I’ve been at that store for over four years already.

To go back to the Rayna situation, a former colleague from the Hole – let’s call him Greybeard – we had been talking until he moved onto his next assignment (ironically working with Gary as he told me a lot about that I won’t discuss that here). He also doesn’t like the assistant store mgr at the Hole. He outright referred to him as an idiot because I told him he’s been there almost five years at that point. I left in 2017 – thanks to a man referred to as /goofball or Ruthless Roger or now Creepy the Clown – and at that point this store mgr arrived on the scene.

That man needs to go but shows no sign. Usually they rotate assistant store mgrs every two or three years. One of the store mgrs I met when I returned to the company in 2018 after about six mos. was rotated in 2020 to another store. Another who was promoted while I was there in 2018 got rotated in 2021. And yet another store manager had been there since that store opened in 2015 got rotated in 2018, she left the region to take on a new role in another state.

However that guy who kept me from returning to the Hole in 2018 – four years ago – remains there and outlasted Morley who was let go in October 2019. Oh and I learned Morley was fired on the spot by a regional president so effectively his boss’s boss’s boss…. Anyway I feel as if something is wrong with that store mgr let’s just give him a name Kenny, remains there not rotation just making a choice to just stay there! It could be that no one wants him around as his reputation proceeds him, however, a conclusion I’ve come to is that he wants to be there. He’s choosing for whatever reason to stagnate.

Either way since I don’t trust Rayna as my boss even from the brief time she was my assistant mgr – including the time she served me with that attendance probation – and I really don’t trust Kenny being higher up than her, it causes me to slow down. Remember once Larry left the company I had to decide to forget about returning to my old store for now. And Greybeard knowing some of the changes at my old assignment and knowing Kenny and how he is, he knows full well he also can’t possibly go back now.

Well once I saw Rayna had gotten promoted finally that was my point. Of course it’s going on almost a year and my prediction was that after six months she’ll have moved on. Well it doesn’t look that way and perhaps to her credit she has some support. Someone is looking out for her and aside from the idea that no one really takes her very seriously which even included one of the store mgrs at the time that I got served with that probation, she’s gotten to the level she sought out.

Anyway no point in going much further with that. The job that I wanted when Larry came around to help out my old dept at my current store at the time is posted, however, I just won’t be working with the people I’d like to. The likelihood of me returning to the Hole for now is very low.

As for Kenny one of my current supervisors was looking into becoming an assistant mgr there and learned that Kenny was the point over the equivalent dept there. I saw the text, he was exchanging messages back and forth with the dept mgr there confirming that Kenny could be a b!tch as far as his moods from day to day. It helped my supervisor decide that he won’t be going there for now. Kenny has already established a reputation for him. And what helped me conclude he wants to be there is that Kenny wants his hands on that dept and has no plans to let go of his point role over that dept. So that means I may not want to transfer over there either….

So anyway as far as jobs with the company that’s all to report.

You know I’m not quite done with talking about the Fiend and may have something relatively new this month. Perhaps it’s time to talk about Jack V back in my more youthful years. And with the Fiend we can go back to a decade ago at The Show, and I find the material regarding that period of time is just a bit thin, aside from Anthony’s meddling.

Either way something to look forward to I suppose.

And, if I’m linking twice to the same post – don’t know if anyone reading pays attention to links – it only means that I reference two different people in the same post that’s all.

New update

Perhaps another recently post? Yes let’s do it!

My former dept is going through another mgmt change and I would dare say it’s akin to what happened at The Hole years ago except I’m not there to witness it. I’m as far away as I can be as it unfolds.

I was shocked to see on Fresh’s social network that the dept mgr position is up. Found out from one of my former colleagues that the dept mgr was leaving to go to another store. I won’t speculate as far as whether or not she couldn’t handle the position she just ascended to over six months ago. This period of time when it’s hard to find good help and a pandemic surely has been difficult and stressful.

I actually spoke with the assistant mgr who said he was stepping down also and he wasn’t going to stay in that dept. We both agreed how stressful the kitchen could be I almost got consumed by it before getting transferred out. Part of me wishes I could get back on course there but let’s not forget the assistant mgr asked if I wanted to come back and I was like eh, been there done that. Depends upon position such as that team receiver which has recently been taken down.

As a bit of a joke I reached out to my former trainer from the Hole. He’s moved on to run his own dept at another store. He was curious though it’s unknown if he’s interested. He was shocked by the revelations.

You know it occurs to me that we’re approaching an anniversary of sorts. Four years ago I’d find out that a man I have referred to as Ruthless Roger had vacated his position as dept mgr at the Hole. From the information I received from people who worked with him back then it seems as if it just didn’t work out for him. No matter what his ego insisted. BTW, newsflash I found out he’s back with the company this time as a liquor dept buyer however he moved out of the Chicago area. Interesting I just hope he doesn’t try to be a dept mgr again…

Anyway, speaking with the assistant mgr – who was formerly the dept buyer – gave me some insight into mgmt. It’s stressful full of accountability and responsibility. I understand more than I would’ve having to enter the job market after getting out of college. He may be missing an opportunity, however, perhaps you have to be smart enough to recognize when something just isn’t for you. To be honest I faced that with the bank, I realized this wasn’t working for me and made some moves before the inevitable happened.

With that said I go back to the Reign of Error and had decided one thing to come back from that disappointment, that calamity was to come back stronger. Well I haven’t quite done that so far to be honest. Of course there are other opportunities for that however after almost four years to return to the company after the calamity I failed to come back strong.

One way to come back strong is: What if I was able to get Rog’s job as dept mgr and proved to be far more successful than he was? I think about that sometimes and I also consider there is a possibility that I could crash and burn as he had in my humble opinion. If it worked out well for yours truly perhaps I could rub it in if that day comes, then again who knows perhaps that’s a bad idea.

Either way I’m seeing how the workplace is moving right along in a time of a pandemic. Of course as I seek my path for a greater return I always hope for the best. Perhaps I can see how things shake down for my former dept from afar. I’ve already seen up close one direction it could go, especially with someone who is just unsettled in their new role.

Odds & Ends

I’ve decided not to go for the position in my old dept because reasons. I asked the former buyer now assistant manager when the position will close and he had said it had closed already. Although it was still on our company’s social network for over two weeks. Still my gut tells me it’s not my time yet, and that’s fine until hopefully they might need someone else to help out on buy/receive.

The former associate buyer is going for it, he said so himself as he wants to go back anyway. However, one of the supervisors is going for it at this time as well. Who knows what’ll happen the new assistant manager believes that the former associate buyer might remain where he is for now.

I spoke to the supervisor days before the interview and it sounds like sales are going in the right direction at this point. Up 60% compared to where the dept was as the pandemic was in full swing and before I got transferred out. Perhaps we shall see what happens with the buyer thing and perhaps they’ll finally post for additional help to fulfill that role in that dept in the near future.

* I got an update on being my dept’s team receiver. The man who originally held the job might be coming back soon, however, to light duty. It seems he’s been sheepish about his condition. From what I was told he had his own issues with attendance evidently so perhaps there aren’t many who are upset if he just ups and quits. But then we have a month to see what happens with him.

At first I thought his absence was due to this bug. However, I got the idea that he was badly injured at some point. Again from what I was told the team receiver just isn’t forthcoming with details on his condition. Again we’ll see what happens.

I’ve been handling that young man’s duties for a while now. Recently I find myself really dividing my time between the floor and the backstock areas. Often by choice fairly recently my boss had me make some signs as we had an audit from a higher up checking on the accuracy of our retail signage. Regardless I call it real work as opposed to just putting stuff away as of late. To another receiver I called this “real work”…

Either way as far as moving up and making a few extra change I’ll remain diligent to see what positions are available to me. Certainly to pursue the ones that I really like and especially ones that I know I can take public transit to. I still got my eye on the Hole don’t think I’ve forgotten about them!

* Here’s a throwback for you.

I learned recently that the General Manager and his first officer the House Manager are no longer at The Show. From a dubious source I refer to as Woz I was also told that the GM was let go because it was discovered that he stole some cash. I wrongfully told Woz that I heard some inklings. Either way The Show on it’s jobs page is showing an opening for a GM there which has been up for just about a week now.

The little intelligence I know about the GM is that he painstakingly squeezes any profit he can out of The Show. He’s a real cheapskate and might explain why they just don’t believe in raises. Another thing we know about him is that he’s just not a people person, he’s all business. I sort of respect him because he’s aloof, many of the other managers just sort of get into stuff.

This allows me to someone revisit the episode Petty. That’s a case in point, HM gets involved with a case of “he bumped into me do something” and he digs right in. What helped to end it was GM got involved. I wasn’t budging from my position I didn’t see why HM got involved in it and if I have to say excuse me then so should the antagonist, Kelly. As a manager – something I never got promoted to do – I hope I’d handle it much differently than HM. The GM probably handled this the best way as HM couldn’t settle this and GM witnessed that we were going at it. GM probably got keyed in after I responded to HM’s very sad attempt at raising his voice at yours truly.

How do I know I defeated HM? It seemed once we were sequestered in the mgmt office GM & HM were just trying to tell me how it’s a common courtesy to just say excuse me. Except the frustration of this situation just got in my head and I wasn’t accepting that. I cut off GM and told him for the last time I’m not saying excuse me to Kelly until she says excuse me to me. The GM in frustration said nothing and turned to HM and HM had a problem he took it from there. Not that the aftermath was handled more smoothly by HM in the long run….

Also it seemed GM had backed HM over the years and its a wonder that HM remained as a manager. Well what I do know is that if mgmt don’t like you they’ll hurry up and hustle you out. Perhaps on some level that was how many of them felt about yours truly. It took me a minute to finally leave and thankfully I left on my own terms. However it became clear among some of them that my presence there was an issue to them it could be performance, though it might just be serious personality differences too. I think that’s sad a manager can’t work with a person due to personality differences. Perhaps they’re in the wrong job not just yours truly.

All the same whatever dubious story Woz told and as of yet I’m unsure how to verify. It just means more significant changes has happened at The Show or $h!tplace. It could be good it could be bad, but just time for someone else to run it for now. Perhaps I should re-apply. 😛

Anyway I consider Woz’s story to be dubious but I can believe due to this pandemic the company that owns The Show has opted to make a few changes in the long run. I would much believe that in the long run than any attempts to skim money.

* Oh man I can’t believe it’s been going on seven years since I left The Show. If you can’t tell over the years on this blog, I’ve been counting the time away. I like where I am now however as have been experienced in the last few years I shouldn’t get too comfortable or complacent. When it comes to compensation my standards still aren’t very high. At the same time where I am now isn’t necessarily where I’m destined to stay. That’s just fine with me.

Some of my young cohorts thought I’d still be at the theater. At some point it was time for me to leave, one confused young lady when I stated what my future would be which was “hopefully retired” stated confused “retired….from here”. I suppose she just had to say something, but no need to take stock in anything she needs to say. Others have especially her peers I just attribute her sphere of influence to immaturity.

Regardless what an era which I often look at in terms of character building. Certainly in terms of rebuilding and just getting established. Outside of a classroom I didn’t have that or never really actively created that. Also I should know how to conduct myself with people however one lesson learned is don’t take $h!t from anyone. And still be careful if you’d rather earn a paycheck until you can say I don’t need a boss and you can support yourself on your own.

Either way I do find myself wondering where many of the young people I have worked with are doing now. And there is some inkling one works in a variety of kitchens and wouldn’t be too surprised if he becomes a chef. Another seems to be doing blue collar work judging by some of his instagram posts – hmmmm if only I had that vision years ago. Some have joined the armed services, others have graduated college, and others may have left the theater but not doing anything much different. However, I’ve never been so relieved to have quit $h!tplace as I have been right now.

Earlier in this pandemic, when cinemas closed down I recognized that this is when I would be out of work. Perhaps have to file for unemployment and in this case I wouldn’t be fired just laid off. So free money for as long as it’s available. However, I’m much happier to be getting out of the house to work at a grocery store as opposed to be sitting at home though I could live without many of these controversial mitigations.

* Future plans this month. Well I still plan to visit my episode where I have my last real convo with Anthony. It was regarding an encounter with yet another strange person I met from The Show whom I call Deranged Barney. I suppose I should be through talking about a man I know call The Fiend and I’m not. Though it seems like that story line needs to wind down as well I’ve really said what was necessary.

Another thing about Planet Hustle I’ve explored was leaving The Show and I wrote a post years ago about The Crisis. These days I feel as if The Fiend created a crisis in the ways that only he could. A lot of gossip and manipulation to get me to go into his direction. I’ll leave it up to you if he was successful or not. That’s another direction I can go.

Another thing I have great relief over is The Fiend can no longer stay in contact and decide to just inject his influence. If something is going on that doesn’t “suit him” he’ll try to do something about it. If that means he goes negative he will. If that means he’ll inject a piece of advice that isn’t necessary he will. Whatever his advice it will always suit him and not really be the best for me. Perhaps more accurate these are things he would do more than this is what I must do.

I suppose another lesson from my time at the theater is that I can see some patterns and tendencies better than I used to. Too bad that it took a few years for these lessons to stick. I just need to be better able to cut things off before it really becomes an issue. Reminds me of a meme…

An ongoing process.

Decisions, Decisions

More changes in my old dept, the longtime lead buyer for my old dept has moved up to assistant manager. And I saw recently that my old dept is now looking for a buyer. Could your’s truly step up to the plate?

Well I spoke to my old dept’s former associate buyer. He still doesn’t like his new assignment and it’s been a year. Sounds like a lot more work for him. He has to pitch in when they’re short, he has to deal with different vendors as a buyer, just a lot of things he’s just tired of. However, I can assume he’s a shoo-in for taking on that lead buyer role.

As for me with my current assignment I’ve been allowed to do the receiving. It’s a lot more product than I had to deal with in my old dept, however, for the most part I really don’t have to deal with customers though as of late I put product on the floor especially if there are empty slots. I feel as if that slows me down, but then yours truly hasn’t been the quickest draw in the room.

If you’re asking me if I’m ready to essentially be my dept’s lead buyer honestly I don’t know. I’m tempted to pitch being ready for the position of team receiver and would like to recommend that to the new leadership of my old dept. Especially if I’m just not ready to assume that responsibility.

When I went for associate buyer a few years ago it was a fail. I have to admit that and it was a minute before having to recognize that. It was the feedback of my then boss although not necessarily the feedback from others on the panel at that time. There were some things were on the right track on, just my presentation was terrible. Interviewing is always a pressure cooker regardless of the job you’re pursing from janitor, to burger flipper to an executive manager. It has been more iffy for me than not over the years and there were very rare occasions where it just clicked.

Also, depending upon the job you can’t just do the same thing on other successful interviews with an interview for a better position. So that last interview over two years ago was another lesson. I like to say I’m used to winging it on most entry level interviews where I got the job. Can’t do that for higher level positions.

Regardless I have some decisions to make…

June & changes

Well a lot of changes at work.

To start finally last month the string of nights have just ended. As of late most of my shifts involves breaking down the load for my dept. Sometimes I feel as if I’m not work as fast as possible. However there are days where the job gets done and proud of those.

Our team receiver hasn’t been to work since about January and thus we had a few months where no one was available to do the load. And often those duties rotated between me and two new hires. One of those new hires has since left although still listed on Fresh’s social network. The other has transitioned to other tasks and for now that leaves me.

We lost a few people during the last two months one just had issues with tardies – sound familiar. The other not sure or nothing that I’ve heard about what happened. Just know that he’s no longer listed on the company’s social network and at one point my dept had a posting looking for another full-time worker. We’ve since posted for new people to replace those who have moved on.

Either way it would be cool to be the team receiver and to do something different than dealing with customers and that leads to another new situation. There have been changes to my old dept as the dept mgr who hired me is moving on. I’ve been knowing about that since at least April and one of his assistant managers have ascended to replace him. And with the easing of these pandemic restrictions my old dept is now hiring full-time or part-time and that means I could go back, right?

Well I thought they’d give us “dibs” once the situation changes. So far no one is banging down on my door as of yet. So my consideration is do I really want to go back and do the same thing I had been doing? I’d rather deal with heavy containers of product than deal with mentally heavy customers and especially with food. So that’s my consideration for now, if they offer me a “good deal” to return then it’s worth it.

I suppose for now thats the consideration with returning to the Hole. I see they’re still looking for full-timers, however, I did express interest via email with one of the assistant managers. He never responded only he knows why, but what I would’ve liked to do is see if I can get back into the buy/receive that I had started there four years ago. Who knows if it’s advisable or even doable…

As a matter of face sometime in April Larry actually came to my assignment. Since my former dept mgr’s job was up I figured perhaps he was there to check out the dept, instead I later saw that he was helping out another dept. I had decided in my head that perhaps he wasn’t trying to go for it. Just there to help out as mgmt as it were.

Although speaking of that dept, which is next to my old team they’re looking for a new dept mgr. The young man who took on the role lasted just about six or so months and shockingly they’re looking for another one. Perhaps for him it just wasn’t working out for him – wait sounds familiar doesn’t it? Anyway since I never had the opportunity to get to know the young man who knows what his issues were.

Well all I can say for now is that change is a best. Either adjust/adapt or get out of the way!

“He knows you’re using him”

A coworker from The Show – well formerly from there anyway – still talks to the Fiend and let me know he’s been talking about me a lot. There have been some inklings of it over the past year and heard more now. I also hear that Anthony is engaged to be married, remember sometime last year I noted he’s showing himself in the lovely embrace of an older woman. I said some choice things to this friend in light of the Hustler talking about me behind my back.

Of course not a lot of this should be a huge surprise. Even back when he just insisted on coming around back then just about a decade ago he was doing things like this. Perhaps Anthony just has such a negative view of yours truly even then and even when on the surface he was seemingly a good friend.

Either way since I’ve cut ties to him as of 2018 this revelation only serves to let me know it’s working. If he’s really running me down about a lot of the things he’s known about me even back then to even insisting on knowing my sexual status the main conclusion he’s upset that I’ve simply dropped him.

Basically he’s upset that I won’t talk to him. Think about it the last contact I’ve had with him was in 2019 he called me on Christmas Day and I never responded to his call or text. The last time we’ve actually talked was just about four years ago and it was a convo that seemingly fell off the rails.

At the same time did I get upset, yes. I even said to the coworker when seeing him on my way to the job that I hope the Fiend’s marriage fails. Even going so far to predict that he’s going to get divorced, even the coworker joked for “the fourth time” as he’s aware of some of Anthony’s personal failings. I immediately regretted that and called that coworker realizing I stooped to the Hustler’s level as my comments represented what he would do.

We talked about it a while as we have been over the years. He’s aware of the rift and tried to address whatever Ant was trying to bring up about my time at The Show. Again not surprised since he seems to remember the past or selectively remembers what he wants to remember. I’m not a very good friend as he’s so hard up I had to pay for his lunch, or when he didn’t have a car he got treated to rides in my mother’s vehicle that she lent me to go to any late shifts I had or the money he’s borrowed (at one time for a hot dog from the concession stand). Oh yeah I’m some friend, in reality yours truly could say the same for him.

Now the title of this post is a quote relayed to me by this coworker as told to Ant. True to form the Fiend denies it claiming he’s given me gas money and paid back all money which he hasn’t. He’s never given me gas money for rides in my mother’s car. He only does so when it’s convenient for him and worst still he might still come around and borrow money on top of money he already owes.

So the last time I really spoke to him he borrowed $100 for his son’s medical bills, I specifically told him as we left that barbershop that when he gets situated I wanted that money back. Of course we don’t really talk for a few months other than a random text pledging to repay that money he borrowed. Then once the blackout starts he starts calling and I wonder why, another small cash infusion? So more money on top of money he needs to pay back.

Now it could be also said that I never adequately stood up to him. I know him well enough to know that he’ll only add stress. Perhaps he’s saying what he wants now because I dropped him and he’s still not happy about it. He couldn’t just move on and not talk about me – perhaps you could say the same for me. I just think that if I confronted him he’ll just deny and throw it back onto yours truly. He’s going to establish his dominance and try to re-assert his role as a disappointed father. He’ll never recognize why after so much time I finally just backed away.

I’m glad I have one less stress on my plate, however, my handicap is to dwell on this whole episode as I have been doing. It’s a lesson learned as I seek to become my own version of The Head of the Table.


The other day I talked with a colleague at work who was sitting in an office completing their performance review forms so that they can get a raise. He remains in my old dept and for over a year dropped down to part-time status as he wanted to go back to school and finish his undergrad. He had the need to change careers, which is a good thing.

He wasn’t very optimistic about whether or not he’ll actually get a raise considering what’s been going on for almost the past year. We’re in a period of great uncertainty as we’re learning this bug has spawned a few mutations which thankfully are reportedly not very lethal, however, much more easily transmissible. And it seems for now the vaccine should could cover these variants…

Regardless back to the situation at hand he was considering what the sales might be and I just told him it pays to be more optimistic. You just never know although when mgmt wants to pick they will. The way I see it, yours truly still got his raise last year and who knows what the sales were not within my former dept but the whole store in general. Sales probably aren’t what they would be in general in far more normal times. However, once he meets with his mgmt he’ll know what the picture looks like.

As far as yours truly, well I’m still looking for some opportunities. Just about two years ago a store opened a bit closer to home it’s a straight shot down the street towards a nearby suburb and perhaps I should’ve looked into it before that store opened. However, I really liked working downtown and that mentality still haven’t escaped me. The only time I applied for a store in the neighborhoods was when another store was about to open closer to home and interviewed for a supervisor position although I don’t think it was a great interview. There were some lessons for that as there were lessons for my attempt for associate buyer just about two years ago.

Regardless what has my attention is a full-time position posted for my old dept at this other store. I guess one consideration is that it would get me right back where I started, while I want to progress. Also at yet another store there is another full-time position still within the city, however, a lot further north from downtown which means a much longer commute. I don’t take that opportunity as seriously as the one much closer to home. But then who knows that might be the one that works out, that’s how these opportunities seem to work out to be honest.

Believe it or not it’s been over six years where I started off at the Hole. I didn’t know if I wanted to be in a dept other than the front end doing cashiering. As happens unfortunately you get a bit comfortable and you don’t want to pick up and leave. That was true in 2015, it’s sort of true even now. I was just getting off of what happened at Gotham near the end of the previous year and that was a situation that proved it wasn’t working out. And considering that before getting the job offer to be a bank teller, I had also earlier interviewed to be a manager at a cinema near what would later become the Hole.

I could look at that whole situation and say it was meant for me to be in that neighborhood where the Hole was located. And for over two years it worked out for me. Not the way I envisioned in my head, however, it was much better than being stuck at The Show still making over $10K per year still after almost five years. I got a bit more although now six years later and with a refresh I’m closer to $30K per year. And I feel as if I’m still not close to my goal of moving up.

Aside from that tangent remember when I talked about working a lot of nights. It seems they listen when I sign off of a sheet at the end of the night. I say I want to learn to make signs they allowed me that opportunity, they gave me to opportunity to learn a new task and they allowed me a night to do so – even got a talking to about not using a cut-glove when doing it. And while there was some interest in me doing some receiving in my new department I asked to do that just in an effort to get some days instead of these constant nights. Well they’re giving me those shifts for the first time in months…

I felt a bit miserable doing these shifts in the beginning. I would be in a cooler a lot more than when I did receiving in my original department. There were a lot more items to put away than in my original department, so to think it’s a real workout than what I feel as if I was used to. At the same time I’m trying something so that it won’t be so late when I get home. And my favor I somewhat know how it goes and it might make it a bit easier to get back to the goal I started on before the climax of the reign of error.

Meanwhile this winter seems quite relentless with the cold weather and we just got hit by another heavy snowfall which I had to dig out of the nex day. Perhaps it’s time to consider a much warmer locale, however, they’re getting hit by winters they don’t often expect….

Either way still working and we’re not yet halfway through 2021….


You know I’ve been promising the Climax of the Reign of Error post since about September and I think this month is as good of a time to finally write about it. I’ve written a basic story about the time where I worked my last shifts at the Hole, but it’s going to be the culmination of the creative direction for that period of time.

This month proved to be a turning point during my hiatus from Fresh Foods as this month I learned that /goofball was no longer in his position over my former dept at the Hole. When I first heard about it, the information I got was that he had either stepped down or was demoted and resigned and his boss Morley was upset with him when he did depart. It seemed like such a short order when Rog departed and ultimately replaced by Larry who used to be part of the dept in the beginning until he accepted a promotion elsewhere.

Just as snow fell recently on the Chicago area, heavy snow fell on the Chicago area once I heard this news. However, what this meant was that it was OK for yours truly to start re-applying and had started immediately upon hearing the news. Began to really test the waters with one of the supervisors who contacted me once the proverbial hammer fell.

Another thing of note in that period. Anthony my old friend who started coming back into contact with a series a phone calls from a number I did not recognize. And a text message with no identification asking yours truly to call him. I never did and an answer to this is considering the situation I unexpectedly found myself in starting in October. I didn’t want him to take that news and run with it as I figured he would.

As much as I want to transition away from that frequent subject, I do want to add some more thoughts to that this month. Even had been working on a post re-running that time he tried to get me on a date with someone we had worked with. It was a fail all around, but let’s further explore that. Perhaps it’ll be the perfect “anti-Valentine’s Day” piece.

Meanwhile, I continue to dig out and stay warm in these uncertain times. Hopefully you’re staying safe wherever you are right now!